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billy187

Everything Is So Unfair

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Hi. I used to not be a practicing Muslim until a few years ago. Ever since I became pious and began to pray and try to follow my religion my life has become so much worse. My friends never invite me anywhere because now I'm "boring". My life is so empty, there is absolutely nothing to do. I live in a Western society and everyone my age seems to be enjoying themselves except for me. Its Saturday night i'm stuck at home doing nothing. The other day I was invited to a barbecue but of course I didn't go because of the alcohol and the najis food once again blowing a chance to socialize with other human beings. No matter how much I try to please Allah he makes me suffer. I have prayed to Allah to reverse my situation, he never seems to answer me. I don't want to be like this my whole life. I cant help it but now I'm beginning to feel blasphemous thoughts and wishing I never was guided and never prayed. Why does Allah do this to us. Does he really expect me to be confined to my room my whole life? Is it Haram to be angry at Allah? I cant control my emotions anymore its like I got the bad end of the deal. I honestly am not a person who usually complains but recently I've had enough I feel like i'm gonna point my finger at the sky and say things I will regret later. Can someone help me please?

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Our religion provides plenty of opportunities to its followers to socialise and connect with one other. Take for example Salat. If you go to the mosque 5 times a day, you are likely to make friends and find well wishers. There are lots of organisations in the western countries which connect local muslims, they usually welcome strangers and arrange many events and gatherings. We recently had Eid (our christmas). This is another one of those opportunites to get together with family or friends.

Blaming people or God doesn't help. If you want something, go get it.

================================

Some ways to make new friends:

1) Be yourself, or be true to yourself

2) Spend more time around people

3) Join an organisation with people who have common interest

4) Join a sports team

5) Volunteer

6) Talk to People

7) Be approachable

8) Initiate a get together

e.t.c

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends

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salam 3alaykom

are you in such a place where there is no muslims.........i doubt it, this make me wonder how you started your hidaya in the first place :angel:

i know how you feel though, and believe me i have been there, but in the end you have to go look for the people who share with you the same intrest or else your life is going to be living hell, where i come from they have a saying which roughly means " tell me who you're friends with and i will tell you who you are", so if you mingle with a crowd you are either going to become one of them or you are going to have problems......what i am saying may not help you much especially since i feel that you are way past the state for such talk........ all i can offer is this

no matter where you are on this earth you will find muslims, you will find people who share with you what you believe in, your goals, your dreams....... you just need to know where to look, try asking about what the muslims around you do on saturdays, i am sure they are normal people who want to have fun, go to the gym, sit in circles discussing life, love..... in the end we are humans and this is life this is islam, we are not created to lock ourselves up in the masjeed or our rooms we are asked to socialize....... and you know what, i believe Alla (swt) placed us in certain places in this world for a reason, who knows, may be yours is to make the people around you familiar with islam and not think that it is the religion of opression but the religion of freedom

we, my friend, need to know what islam really is before blaming it and ALLA (swt) wal3iyazubillah......... its like riding a car, if you got in an accident do you blame the car or the driver

islam makes us better people and never ever, please, allow shaitan to play with you like that, we have "minds" that is the most precious thing a person can ever have, so when facing trouble there is always a way if you believe in islam........... if you believe in yourself

i hope you find your path of light (i know you have the will to do so)

(bismillah)

æÇááÐíä ÌÇåÏæÇ ÝíäÇ áäåÏíäåã ÓÈáäÇ

fi amanillah

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(salam)

these where clearly not good friends, and your friendship was not build on anything strong. Insha'Allah better friends will come along, even if they are not muslims, there are many people who respect values.

"Better be alone than with a bad companion"

"One who lives alone continues safe and sound"

"Who know the world live alone"

"Who know men shun them"

"Nobody counts on men who knows them"

"God will enrich whoever seeks nothing of men"

-Imam Amir ul Mo'mineen Ali ibn abu talib

Edited by ShahHussain

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Hi. I used to not be a practicing Muslim until a few years ago. Ever since I became pious and began to pray and try to follow my religion my life has become so much worse. My friends never invite me anywhere because now I'm "boring". My life is so empty, there is absolutely nothing to do. I live in a Western society and everyone my age seems to be enjoying themselves except for me. Its Saturday night i'm stuck at home doing nothing. The other day I was invited to a barbecue but of course I didn't go because of the alcohol and the najis food once again blowing a chance to socialize with other human beings. No matter how much I try to please Allah he makes me suffer. I have prayed to Allah to reverse my situation, he never seems to answer me. I don't want to be like this my whole life. I cant help it but now I'm beginning to feel blasphemous thoughts and wishing I never was guided and never prayed. Why does Allah do this to us. Does he really expect me to be confined to my room my whole life? Is it Haram to be angry at Allah? I cant control my emotions anymore its like I got the bad end of the deal. I honestly am not a person who usually complains but recently I've had enough I feel like i'm gonna point my finger at the sky and say things I will regret later. Can someone help me please?

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You cant be muslim and British/American. You have to chose one or the other. Boring company v fun company. i know which one i'd chose!

one is a national/cultural identity, one is a religious identity.  each identity is not necessarily mutually exclusive.  i identify as an american, and i identify as a muslim.   the two identities were quite separate when i first converted, they have merged since then.  

The Prophet (as) was an Arab and he was a Muslim. 

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Hi. I used to not be a practicing Muslim until a few years ago. Ever since I became pious and began to pray and try to follow my religion my life has become so much worse. My friends never invite me anywhere because now I'm "boring". My life is so empty, there is absolutely nothing to do. I live in a Western society and everyone my age seems to be enjoying themselves except for me. Its Saturday night i'm stuck at home doing nothing. The other day I was invited to a barbecue but of course I didn't go because of the alcohol and the najis food once again blowing a chance to socialize with other human beings. No matter how much I try to please Allah he makes me suffer. I have prayed to Allah to reverse my situation, he never seems to answer me. I don't want to be like this my whole life. I cant help it but now I'm beginning to feel blasphemous thoughts and wishing I never was guided and never prayed. Why does Allah do this to us. Does he really expect me to be confined to my room my whole life? Is it Haram to be angry at Allah? I cant control my emotions anymore its like I got the bad end of the deal. I honestly am not a person who usually complains but recently I've had enough I feel like i'm gonna point my finger at the sky and say things I will regret later. Can someone help me please?

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Hi. I used to not be a practicing Muslim until a few years ago. Ever since I became pious and began to pray and try to follow my religion my life has become so much worse. My friends never invite me anywhere because now I'm "boring". My life is so empty, there is absolutely nothing to do. I live in a Western society and everyone my age seems to be enjoying themselves except for me. Its Saturday night i'm stuck at home doing nothing. The other day I was invited to a barbecue but of course I didn't go because of the alcohol and the najis food once again blowing a chance to socialize with other human beings. No matter how much I try to please Allah he makes me suffer. I have prayed to Allah to reverse my situation, he never seems to answer me. I don't want to be like this my whole life. I cant help it but now I'm beginning to feel blasphemous thoughts and wishing I never was guided and never prayed. Why does Allah do this to us. Does he really expect me to be confined to my room my whole life? Is it Haram to be angry at Allah? I cant control my emotions anymore its like I got the bad end of the deal. I honestly am not a person who usually complains but recently I've had enough I feel like i'm gonna point my finger at the sky and say things I will regret later. Can someone help me please?

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(and get a girlfriend, you'll feel better... just dont go beyond hug, kissing, talking etc)

i hope by girlfriend you are encouraging him to enter into a mutah marriage with a girl.  talking is one thing, hugging and kissing is quite another. 

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Hi. I used to not be a practicing Muslim until a few years ago. Ever since I became pious and began to pray and try to follow my religion my life has become so much worse. My friends never invite me anywhere because now I'm "boring". My life is so empty, there is absolutely nothing to do. I live in a Western society and everyone my age seems to be enjoying themselves except for me. Its Saturday night i'm stuck at home doing nothing. The other day I was invited to a barbecue but of course I didn't go because of the alcohol and the najis food once again blowing a chance to socialize with other human beings. No matter how much I try to please Allah he makes me suffer. I have prayed to Allah to reverse my situation, he never seems to answer me. I don't want to be like this my whole life. I cant help it but now I'm beginning to feel blasphemous thoughts and wishing I never was guided and never prayed. Why does Allah do this to us. Does he really expect me to be confined to my room my whole life? Is it Haram to be angry at Allah? I cant control my emotions anymore its like I got the bad end of the deal. I honestly am not a person who usually complains but recently I've had enough I feel like i'm gonna point my finger at the sky and say things I will regret later. Can someone help me please?

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Billy Allah sent those invites to you. Each time Allah gives you an invite and you say no Allah wants me locked in my room. You need to understand why we don't drink. You need to understand why we marry. Look deeply into these affairs. Be apart of the community but do service to them. Do service to them give them glad tidings. I don't mean quran I mean be a good human being.

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I think your closing yourself off to many things, the barrier is in your mind. Eat before going to the bbq, and enjoy the non-alcholic beverages. I am not a muslim but have plenty of muslim friends. We accomodate each other, there is halaal pizza, go to places with halaal food. Dont offer or even drink alchol. It doesn't mean your boring, or that your faith makes you boring, you have to be creative. Nothing wrong with going out for a cup of coffee/tea and having a discussion. Fun doesnt = alchol, loose people, clubs etc. Make suggestions of activities that are still social but well within the Islamic guidelines, hmmm how about bowling? movies, rock climbing etc whatever you like to do. Just dont hold yourself back.

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(bismillah) (salam)

You haven't been here long enough have you?

Hopefully you are right though..

(wasalam)

I'm familiar with her 'image', but if you actually make any assumptions based on it, she reacts badly. That's why I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Edited by Haider Husayn

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Aslam Alikum,

Aww bless you. Well maybe Allah should put you in Iraq or Afghanistan where people are getting shot at all the time? or maybe he should've placed you in Pakistan affected by floodomg during the boiling heat and without water, food or clothes. Hmm No thats fair, well maybe he should have made you disabled?? or made you mute :o? Thats all also fair because those are the people who pray and thank God every second. I don't know man your life seems really tough compare to Imam Hussain (a.s) and his forefathers and his children. Maybe he should put you in Palestine where after years of working hard and building your perfect house the israeli army takes it away. Wake up mate you got everything people don't have. Lets not moan about this. The deal is simple, God is in control. He asked you to be good. Listen to him. He said listen now and enjoy later or enjoy now listen later. Example, Study now and enjoy a career for the rest of you life or just work to make ends meet until the end. Go to mosque or something find friends sort it out. Millions before you have done it and millions after you will do it. You want go to heaven where you relax have all the fun etc and then you complaining the test is too hard. Of course its hard that is the point, that is why he has given you a book. Read, understand and follow. Have some compassion.

Good Luck!

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You cant be muslim and British/American. You have to chose one or the other. Boring company v fun company. i know which one i'd chose!

Yeah, well you have issues, italicised and with a capital I.

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Aslam Alikum,

Aww bless you. Well maybe Allah should put you in Iraq or Afghanistan where people are getting shot at all the time? or maybe he should've placed you in Pakistan affected by floodomg during the boiling heat and without water, food or clothes. Hmm No thats fair, well maybe he should have made you disabled?? or made you mute :o? Thats all also fair because those are the people who pray and thank God every second. I don't know man your life seems really tough compare to Imam Hussain (a.s) and his forefathers and his children. Maybe he should put you in Palestine where after years of working hard and building your perfect house the israeli army takes it away. Wake up mate you got everything people don't have. Lets not moan about this. The deal is simple, God is in control. He asked you to be good. Listen to him. He said listen now and enjoy later or enjoy now listen later. Example, Study now and enjoy a career for the rest of you life or just work to make ends meet until the end. Go to mosque or something find friends sort it out. Millions before you have done it and millions after you will do it. You want go to heaven where you relax have all the fun etc and then you complaining the test is too hard. Of course its hard that is the point, that is why he has given you a book. Read, understand and follow. Have some compassion.

Good Luck!

mashallah. The OP should thank you for putting the situation in perspective :)

Dear billy187,

I urge you to ponder upon these sayings:

“This world is not a permanent place, it is a passage, a road on which you are passing. There are two kinds of people here: One is the kind of those who have sold their souls for eternal damnation, the other is of those who have purchased their souls and freed them from damnation” Imam Ali (A.S)

“Anyone who loves us Ahlulbayt must be ready to face a life of austerity”- Imam Ali (A.S)

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Guest mo93

You should have gone to that barbecue. You can eat the veggie burgers if you don't eat or drink the haraam stuff then you should be fine.

its haram to put yourself in a position where your surrounded by haram

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Find some muslim friends... there are plenty in the west I promise

my best friend isn't muslim but we share a lot of things in common...

she doesn't go out or drink and she's very tolerant about my faith.. she would buy halal meat when I come over for dinner...and we always have healthy discussions about faith and such..

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My friends never invite me anywhere because now I'm "boring"

I have the same prblm even though i live in Iran. Because they do so many haram things. Or maybe its just me?

I live in a Western society and everyone my age seems to be enjoying themselves except for me. Its Saturday night i'm stuck at home doing nothing. The other day I was invited to a barbecue but of course I didn't go because of the alcohol and the najis food once again blowing a chance to socialize with other human beings.

Thats because uv just changed ur religion, not ur life. Some things will have to change when u change ur religion. Like the guys u hang out with. If u cant hang out with them for religious reasons, find an Islamic community, or a shia one and hang out with them and then, voila! There comes back ur socialistic life, but now, with new ppl, who share ur same kind of thinking basically. U will now be in a community in which u r no longer "booring".

(and get a girlfriend, you'll feel better... just dont go beyond hug, kissing, talking etc)

How is that possible! GF is already haram in Islam! Ur telling him to kiss and hug a La-Ma7ram girl?Unless its muta!

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you know to me being a Muslim in the west is MUCH easier, and happier than being a Muslim is the East.... there r SO SO many things you could do in the west! :D

and if your old friends don't want u.. don't want em 2!! make new ones!! :D

1. find a center near you.. or a few.. and go meet up with new ppl! :Hijabi:

2. go volunteer.. you usually meet really cool people who love to help.. well unless they were forced to be there.

3. go to museums and gallerias.. you don't have to go with anyone.. just go and wander around and ENJOY the art and the history! :D

4. go watch movies in the theater.. you can tell a co worker or a class mate.. or urself.. u'll still enjoy a good movie! :D

5. introduce yourself to people instead of waiting for em to approach..

here's a way if you are a student.. a person would sit next to you Muslim or not.. doesn't matter .. and be like hi I'm ....., what's ur name? and ask if this class was part of their major.. and just make small talks! :D

6. believe that you are interesting and an enjoyable company, and ppl will believe it 2 :D

7.smile and welcome new ppl to your life.. don't be like ... UGH they r not muslims.. they drink whatever.. just take the good for the person and ignore the bad.. you rn't maryying them :P

8. go to social events organised by your work or school.. if they'll drink and dance, etc.. attend the 1st part of it where ppl r stilll not going crazy :wacko:

9. go to private classes or the gym... you can meet ppl sharing the same interests in such classes.. like go to a yoga class for example.. and just talk a bit to the ppl.. and even if you don't make friends.. you'll fill your time :)

10. stay on sc and u might find some cool ppl to friend ;)

SHOUT YAAAAY FOR LIFE and enjoy every bit!! :yaali: :yaali: :yaali:

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its haram to put yourself in a position where your surrounded by haram

Then I guess it's time to move away from all "western" countries and back to the Middle East, Pakistan, etc. Or maybe it's time to become a hermit and move to the woods away from everyone else.

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