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Ali144

I Am Helpless...porn Addiction

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I've heard that having a lustful look at a female invalidates ur fast while fasting, where does watching porn come into the question?

Bro this fatwa deals with ejaculation/masterbation.....nowhere does it say that watching porn invalidates the fast...you just threw that part in yourself....i think you need to check that.

So you're defending the idea that watching porn doesn't invalidate the fast?

it contradicts basic modesty. forget invalidating the fast, its pathetic, don't argue against it. And if you feel you need to be assertive so that you can allow yourself to watch it while you're fasting go ahead and do it you don't need to come on here and give us arguements to waste our time. You know its wrong, don't argue for it.

Imam Ali a.s says:

Angels have been created to contain intelligence, animals have been created to contain desires. The human is created to contain both, his whose intelligence rules over his desires is higher than an angel, his whose desires overrule his intellect, is lower than an animal.

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It is attributed to an infallible (as) that he said: “Your day of fasting should not

be like ordinary days. When you fast, all your senses, eyes, ears, tongue, hands, and feet must fast

with you.”

Speaks for itself really.

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It is attributed to an infallible (as) that he said: “Your day of fasting should not

be like ordinary days. When you fast, all your senses, eyes, ears, tongue, hands, and feet must fast

with you.”

Speaks for itself really.

+1 I should have said that instead of giving him a long lecture, lol.

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I was suggesting mut'ah and not permanent marriage, which you are completely right about.

Ah, I see. I'm with you there. I am against those who call themselves Shi'a and then feel it's better for someone to watch porn or to masturbate than to engage in mut'ah - which is actually mustahab. Two-faced, poorly informed twits.

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I've heard that having a lustful look at a female invalidates ur fast while fasting, where does watching porn come into the question?

So you're defending the idea that watching porn doesn't invalidate the fast?

it contradicts basic modesty. forget invalidating the fast, its pathetic, don't argue against it. And if you feel you need to be assertive so that you can allow yourself to watch it while you're fasting go ahead and do it you don't need to come on here and give us arguements to waste our time. You know its wrong, don't argue for it.

Imam Ali a.s says:

Angels have been created to contain intelligence, animals have been created to contain desires. The human is created to contain both, his whose intelligence rules over his desires is higher than an angel, his whose desires overrule his intellect, is lower than an animal.

Of course iam not defending watching porn...you are right it is pathetic and there is no argument for it....i was just making the claim of what the fatwa actually says.

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Ah, I see. I'm with you there. I am against those who call themselves Shi'a and then feel it's better for someone to watch porn or to masturbate than to engage in mut'ah - which is actually mustahab. Two-faced, poorly informed twits.

You're right, but resorting to masturbation/pornography is a much easier option to mut'ah though isn't it? there is a long-winded process to undergo mu'tah, to the OP, how would you advice him to take this step?

once again, examining the practicality of it, how many people go into mut'ah? I mean, i haven't heard much about it so i'm pretty new to the issue, someone mind explaining it a bit more and what the legalities of it are?

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You're right, but resorting to masturbation/pornography is a much easier option to mut'ah though isn't it? there is a long-winded process to undergo mu'tah, to the OP, how would you advice him to take this step?

once again, examining the practicality of it, how many people go into mut'ah? I mean, i haven't heard much about it so i'm pretty new to the issue, someone mind explaining it a bit more and what the legalities of it are?

It's not a long-winded process unless you make it one. Check the risalah of your marja if you want to learn about mut'ah. I don't deny that pornography and masturbation are easier, my problem is with people who 'disagree' with it and then call themselves Shi'a.

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Salam,

Throughout many years, I have been secretly watching porn. I am now 17, and pleading to Allah (swt) for help. After watching Porn, i quickly get back to my senses and do Guhsul and ask Allah for forgiveness. However, today I watched porn during Ramadan, while fasting....istagfurallah. I am trying to plead to Allah, I am trying to connect with Allah so he can forgive my sins and give me another chance for a Tawbah, it seems though that I can't make that connection. As if my heart is like stone, and pleading my heart out for no one. I can no longer feel my lord watching over me, as if he had forgotten me...

I am prepared to quit, and god forbid to return to this lethal sin...So if anyone, has any methods of curing this discussing sin...and helping me regain connection with Allah. Please Help.

You will be in my prayers, In the merciful and glorious month of Ramadan.

Wow Bro

You have worked yourself into quite a fix. You say you are addicted to porn, okay but what happens when you go without it? Any negative consequenses? What negative consequences have you experienced persisting in this habit? I feel safe assuming masturbation is a big part of it and your negative consequences are a guilty conscious.

When I was seventeen there wasn't much porn around but getting together with girls wasn't forbiden either. You are at the age when hormones start raging and the biologic imperative is pushing you and you don't understand what is happening to you. Take heart it happens to all men. To put this burden in its place you need to understand it and then it comes manageable. Whatsmore you need to replace one habit with another more productive one. I suggest meditation.

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Bro this fatwa deals with ejaculation/masterbation.....nowhere does it say that watching porn invalidates the fast...you just threw that part in yourself....i think you need to check that...i also dont know where you got the 40 day rule from....the ruling is 60 days...please do not post your own fatwa;s.

Salams,

OK. So let me post a correction, according to Sayyid Sistani(ha), here are the things which invalidate the fast

1581. There are nine acts which invalidate fast:

1. Eating and drinking

2. Sexual intercourse

3. Masturbation (Istimna) which means self abuse, resulting in ejaculation

4. Ascribing false things to Almighty Allah, or his Prophet or to the successors of the Holy Prophet

5. Swallowing thick dust

6. Immersing one's complete head in water

7. Remaining in Janabat or Haidh or Nifas till the Adhan for Fajr prayers

8. Enema with liquids

9. Vomiting

Maybe it doesn't invalidate fasting, according to the hukm of Sayyid Sistani(ha), but it is still a sin (haram). So one who does this is liable for punishment by Allah(s.w.a) And my original point was (this was for the OP) that even if one took this all the way to the extreme (masturbation with ejaculation during fasting in Ramadan), there is still hope to gain the mercy of Allah(s.w.a) after this and there is a procedure that must be followed, and this was outlined in the previous fatwa I posted.

Edited by Abu Hadi

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Abu hadi,

please dont get me wrong...iam in no way approving of pornography or saying that it does not invalidate the fast....it is a sin and obviously defeats the purpose of fasting if one were to look at it while fasting....i was merely just stating what the fatwa said which did not include anything about lustful glances invalidating the fast even though i have read a hadith which said that lustful glances invalidates the fast. I hope you dont take the wrong way i was not trying to attack you....this situation does not affect me because i dont have the problem which the op has but i just wanted to bring out the fatwa. Thanks bro

Edited by thatguy33

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Well the act of masturbation and ejaculation is considered as ZINA, so of course mutah is a much better option.

Even if it's mutah with ahlul kitab and is not formalized as a mutah. That may be zina in some people's definition but at least it will put an end to porn addiction, if a man learns how to attract women with his personality instead of the 6 B's (Begging, Bragging, Bullying, Buying, Booze, and BS). Guess what, developing attractive/alpha male personality is easier than you think. There are websites and forums that help you with this for free. Though I suggest at least waiting until the ends of the month of Ramadan before seducting anyone all the way into bed. Once you have a woman you will see that its not some golden treasure. And then the addiction will take care of itself. Unless of course what the guy really has is the beginnings of a SEX addiction....

P.S. if you want to zap her use a wrapper. :lol:

Edited by Shia Shahid

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THis is why i recomended dua and told him to pray as much as he can so Allah(swt) would help him... like seriously u think that's possiable for him to get marraied at this age... i don't even think his parent would agree... nor he has ever told them abt it ...this stuff is too embarasing to talk to parents about... this is tuff time for him so i think it's better he avoid watching it n consantrate on praying and seek guidance from Allah(swt) most merciful .... n this is only for the teenage years wen he get's 20 i'm sure it'll b no porblem for him... thou 17 is really young ... n just becuse of this you ppl r encouging him to marry mad.gif tha's not the solution n even he said it's not possiable for him... n on top of that i don't think any girl would marry either .... how would he start the family? ... wen he still in middel of his studies n he's not even graduated yet... guys can only think of 2 things marry n mutahs... dry.gif ... having Patience is the key... this is how Allah(swt) test u ...

ya Allah save all of us from the shytan(la)

I don't recall it being too difficult in High School (or Junior-High for that matter) to find somebody with whom one could engage in intimate relations.

Personally, I wouldn't do mutah. I don't agree with it as a personal view, not so Islamic, I know it's allowed.

And to be really honest, I do think lover-of-imam makes a fair point that now adays marriage is just seen as something that is a shelter to sin, which undoubtedly it is - but that is the only thing its depicked as.

So many people encourage marriage and give the hayho talks about it. No one ever talks on the aftermath of marriage, how it is going to influence your life, how it makes you complete and such, all that is left out, only seen as a protection from sin, which is the right image but not the entire image of it.

But you also have a point about mu'tah being preferable over zina. If I went to my masjid right now and said 'im looking for a spouse' I guarentee you - no one would give me their daughter. Thats how harsh it is, I can't face my desires by marriage when im young. I have to control myself and thats the way to go about it. Even go and ask a sheikh for his daughters hand in marriage at your teenage years (16-19 peak of your hormones), even with him knowing the situation on marriage and why youth need it, will say no to you, I guarentee you.

You are correct in your analysis of the Muslim community, brother. I however read that mut'ah does not require the girl to be Muslim; at least the poor guy can find somebody to help him committing all this haram during high school. God save us...

P.S. if you want to zap her use a wrapper. :lol:

And we wonder why sisters got beef with brothers...

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Abu hadi,

please dont get me wrong...iam in no way approving of pornography or saying that it does not invalidate the fast....it is a sin and obviously defeats the purpose of fasting if one were to look at it while fasting....i was merely just stating what the fatwa said which did not include anything about lustful glances invalidating the fast even though i have read a hadith which said that lustful glances invalidates the fast. I hope you dont take the wrong way i was not trying to attack you....this situation does not affect me because i dont have the problem which the op has but i just wanted to bring out the fatwa. Thanks bro

Salams,

Like my Aussie friends say, no worries bro,

When you posted, I checked my own facts (which is usually a good thing). It turns out that it is not on the list. So I wanted to be accurate.

It is interesting that other things that I have seen in ahadith about thing that invalidate fasting like doing gheeba, lying, etc are also not on the list.

Maybe those ahadith are daieef. I need to look at that again when I have time.

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There have been around 49 posts on this thread :unsure: ....members giving their views n suggestions :angel: .....seems to b a HOT topic ^_^ ....but sadly this guy dint turn up after 2 posts :Hijabi:

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Salam,

Throughout many years, I have been secretly watching porn. I am now 17, and pleading to Allah (swt) for help. After watching Porn, i quickly get back to my senses and do Guhsul and ask Allah for forgiveness. However, today I watched porn during Ramadan, while fasting....istagfurallah. I am trying to plead to Allah, I am trying to connect with Allah so he can forgive my sins and give me another chance for a Tawbah, it seems though that I can’t make that connection. As if my heart is like stone, and pleading my heart out for no one. I can no longer feel my lord watching over me, as if he had forgotten me...

I am prepared to quit, and god forbid to return to this lethal sin...So if anyone, has any methods of curing this discussing sin...and helping me regain connection with Allah. Please Help.

You will be in my prayers, In the merciful and glorious month of Ramadan.

I know what it is like brother. I have experienced the same situation you are going through (though not the part about watching during Ramadhan). I am not that much older than you and have similar experiences. I was able to overcome the addiction of porn and you too can leave this bad habit behind.

My advice to you my brother:

1. try to minimize the time you spend alone. spend more time w ur family and "GOOD" friends.

2. 17 years of age... ur on the hormone roller coaster... it's a tough battle but you have to control yourself. It's all SELF CONTROL! You have to be determined: YOU WILL stop this habit from taking over your life! Although marriage would be great, I just don't think you would be financially stable to run a family (that's the problem w me too)

3. this has worked for me w one of the bad habits i've had... Try placing a "bet" sort of speak w one of your really close friends. Try to go porn-free for a month or so and who ever loses must pay a certain amt to charity or sumtn.... BUT you both MUST be honest.

4. Keep your self busy w some halal activities....get invovled w ur masjid, join a sports team or sumtn.

Alhamdullilah I have left the porn addiction behind... The next step for me is to quit masturbation for good.

May Allah guide us all!

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^^^ People are not willing to give their daughters to those who have houses on rent. They say least the boy should have his own house. In addition to this the people have become very greedy and materialistic. They do not want a religious Halal earning guy but a secular and good earning (whether halal or haram) guy. The only option left is to try to secure yourself. Meaning thereby fight the nature and at last erupt and start the struggle again.

You know what everyone? What this guy says is true. Everyone remember, no one who rents is getting married- NO ONE!

If a family is willing to let you marry one of their girls even if you don't own a house, be advised- this family has no standards and has moved away from the Quran and the Ahlul Bayt (as).

Islam is all about SECURING YOURSELF. Don't think outside the box, don't seek means to travel in the world, and by all means don't do social work. All you need to do is SECURE YOURSELF. I used to think Islam was very easy and the rules were in place to protect us, but in fact it is all about fighting your God-given nature, leading to an eventual eruption (see quote above-yuck), and starting the struggle again.

Allah save us from ignorance!

In all seriousness, a good scholar once said, if you feel like doing this kind of sin you will necessarily think to yourself "you know what, I'll just do it once more." If you ever feel like this, say to yourself "you know what, I'll just not do this one more time." It is a simple trick that works wonders.

Brother what are your talking about.... do u think families would give there daughters to someone at this age... ... he's not even established yet ....we don't live in the prophet's era ..... n i don't think at this age he has even established himself or he's even fully mature enough to b married .... i would only agree with you if this was a girl.... infact even girls don't get marry at this age nowadays .... Why don't everyone take marriage seriously... marriage is not about fufiling your sexual desiers .... you have a family to feed and look after for ... this is a very big responsibilty .... nowonder why soo many divorces happen ... becuase people especially guys rush into marriage n then after can't take the responsibilty... this is not a joke realmad.gif no offence to you but stop giving such advices to young one... there is someting called "Patience" this how Allah(swt) test's you...

What would you want your son or your brother to do, marry early or WATCH PORN??? I would break my back to get my son a wife if he was struggling with this sin. Even if, God forbid (sarcastically), he would have to marry into a family from another country or income level. The world is big and some people still get married young.

If you think watching porn has no worldly effects, ask a psychologist about what happens to a person with porn addiction. When you condition yourself a certain way don't expect it to be easy to remove the conditioning.

Masturbation is something natural, yet addicting. My best advice is what many before me have said. Always preoccupy yourself with many activities.

If you're in school, read your books, do your hw etc.

If you don't have hw, go to the gym, exercise, some physical activity

Learn some foreign languages, learn some new hobby in general

Any of these things will do, join some club at your school, get a job, etc.

If you do all these things, assuming you do them, and they fill up your 7 days of the week, you will be so exhausted, and so much energy will be depleted that, you won't even turn into those sinful acts anymore.

The best of everything I've mentioned above is simply exercise, it's the best one, but the others combined with exercise really help cut that habit.

Masturbation is not natural. Arousal should only occur before a halal sex act. Thinking of a girl and masturbating is not natural. Doing everything in your power to have halal sex is natural.

On a side note, watching strangers have simulated sex and masturbating to that image is strange (even if it is done). Naturally people don't want others to watch them have sex (simulated or not) and men do not want to see their sisters and daughters behaving in a loose way, nor do they want to see men have sex.

I guarantee that if people pondered the mercy Allah (swt) has on them, they would fear this so-called natural act. The world is filled with opportunities more natural than masturbation.

While I agree that things such as one's financial position mustn't prevent one from getting married, I feel that if a boy of 17 is not mentally mature and ready to marry, he should not do so. Divorce is not a small thing; you seem to have overlooked the fact that these are people that we are talking about. You wouldn't want him to go and ruin some poor girl's life, surely?

Yeah.... hopefully the families will help guide the new couple, right? You act like their is an absolute formula for how divorces work. Many adults are not mentally mature and they are happily married.

In Islam we shouldn't tell the youth they are too young because of their age.

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Yeah.... hopefully the families will help guide the new couple, right? You act like their is an absolute formula for how divorces work. Many adults are not mentally mature and they are happily married.

In Islam we shouldn't tell the youth they are too young because of their age.

:huh:

You either have difficulties in reading or difficulties in comprehending that which you read. I didn't say it's about age, I said it's about maturity. Incidentally, maturity often comes with age but this isn't always necessarily the case. Though I really don't know what you mean when you say that many adults are not mentally mature but happily married. You think that people who cannot handle responsibilities and are childish are ready for marriage simply because they cannot keep it in their pants? Oh, good thing you said so before we go too far into this discussion - I won't waste any more time with you. :)

Edited by Psychopath

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Pardon me I dont hv the motivation to read the whole thread.

I have a miracle that will work 4u but you have to work towards it.

Presuming you are Muslim, please recite Sura Ghafir as often as possible, once in 3 days or when you are tempted to do a vice thing. It takes 25 mins to recite with good tartil.

Trust me. Sura Ghafir is a proven miracle!

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Salam,

Throughout many years, I have been secretly watching porn. I am now 17, and pleading to Allah (swt) for help. After watching Porn, i quickly get back to my senses and do Guhsul and ask Allah for forgiveness. However, today I watched porn during Ramadan, while fasting....istagfurallah. I am trying to plead to Allah, I am trying to connect with Allah so he can forgive my sins and give me another chance for a Tawbah, it seems though that I can’t make that connection. As if my heart is like stone, and pleading my heart out for no one. I can no longer feel my lord watching over me, as if he had forgotten me...

I am prepared to quit, and god forbid to return to this lethal sin...So if anyone, has any methods of curing this discussing sin...and helping me regain connection with Allah. Please Help.

You will be in my prayers, In the merciful and glorious month of Ramadan.

do these

1. try to have wazoo all the time .

2. don't lock your room and don't sit alone

3. don't watch tv (whether there is an islamic program)

4. don't see non mahram woman twice

5. all the time recite dorood and astagfaar

6. set your pc desktop wallpaper an islamic one

7. try to read islamic books

8. dont use mobile phone for people out of family

9. try to be punctual in namaz

10. and if possible ask your parents to arrange a marriage for you.

last point is not very effective as i m 24 and my parents are not interested in my marriage ,they still think that i am a kid "wow"

try to work out these things and never feel olone as all the time Allah swt ,Rasool Allah (s.a.w.a.w) and imams (a.s) are watching you.

so feel that thing that you are doing and the ones you love are watching

you will definitely leave that bad habit.

Allah swt may help you out.

Ya Ali Madad

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Guest adilrizvi

Thanks for the quick responses....marriage is not option, especially where I live.

as Aabiss said, I have to fight it, which is not going to be easy. I have been doing dua for about ~2 hours now trying to regain the connection with Allah.

I'm afraid that i have committed a sin that is blocking all my duas from reaching him, because this is a merciful month in which we ask Allah for forgiveness.

It's a shame that i feel this way in this month...What Duas do you guys recommend?

Thank you and Ajrakal Allah

First of all, start going to the mosque more often.. It'll bring a very positive change in your life. Secondly.. remember.. manliness is a quality which means you won't do anything when you are alone which you won't do when someone is looking.. so start respecting that and be a man. Third.. remember.. You only feel you are alone, Allah hears and sees everything.. last but not the least.. Namaz.. pray as often as you could.. it keeps you from sins.

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