Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
Meisam786110

What Do You Shia Girls Look For In A Guy?

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

(bismillah)

(salam)

Also, most women don't want someone who's insecure, so don't worry about it and focus on God Almighty ;)

they'll come to you when the time is right

was salam

^ Very true. Also, I have been doing this marriage thing for a while now, and I've learned a few things that I think might be helpful for the brs.

There are some women and some parents who are only looking for strictly material success ($ in the bank, profession). They are out there,

but they are the minority, maybe a big minority, but a minority all the same, IMO. If someone believes in Allah(s.w.a), the Teaching of Our Prophet, and actually glances at the Holy Quran from time to time, they are very aware that $ of money or profession, or reputation are very fleeting and not permenant and people with money, power, and reputation are condemned in the Holy Quran and Hadith much more than they are praised (see Surat At Tawba, Surat At Munafiqfin, Surat Al Ankabut, and many others). If you find out that a girl or a family is ONLY interested in material wealth and resources and this is the subject of the majority of their questions and concerns, RUN FAR, RUN FAST, and don't ever consider marrying their daughter. It will end badly either for her or you and her. Also, if they demand a large maher, payable at or before the wedding, then you should serious consider whether you should marry her or not. I am not saying this is always bad, and sometimes there is a legitimate reason or reasons for it, but most of the time it is just greed. You need to clarify with them what is their purpose for asking for a large maher (many thousands or dollars or equlivalent in property, etc) before proceeding.

The majority of parents and girls/women are looking for strength of character and also spiritual qualities, and this is sometimes confused with materialism. They want to know that a guy is ambitious and determined when it comes to supporting his family and that he will protect their daughter and provide for her and that he is capable of doing this.

They don't place a specific dollar amount on this, but they want their daughter to be happy and well cared for. They want to know that a man has the intention of developing himself education and career wise, because in today's world this is a requirement and not an option. Also, a girl from a poor or middle class background will require a lot less to keep her 'happy' than a girl from a wealthy background. That is why there is ahadith to the effect of you shouldn't marry a girl from a wealthy background unless you have the means to maintain her at the level she is used to. The vast majority of girls/women out there are from a poor or middle class background and they are not hard to find so usually this issue is not a problem and also the wealthy ones tend to marry within their own small communities or families.

So most parents and girls are looking for qualities, general strenght of character, determination, focus, education, and taqwa and Iman. So they know that whatever happens, their daughter will be safe and she will not starve or be homeless or in a great deal of hardship. This is what most logical parents want for their daughter. This dunya is a world of change and impermenance and we are always being tested with our wealth and other things. Most realize this and take it into consideration

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sorry for describing my sexy self to the Shia girls ! Lol I better be careful , ive already been locked out once ! Lol ;P

By the way, I use shiachat on my iPhone ... And I got some messages from the brothers concerning this topic , how do I access it on

my iPhone ?

Thanks for all the information guys , I'm 17 so that's why I'm discussing it , because time

flies and before you know it I'll be 20 ! Omg ...

My family will probably expect me to marry some "Khodja" girl .. But ... It's just getting old .. I wanna mix cultures a bit .. I don't mind any culture (although I'll probably go for Lebanese lol) but as long as the lady is VIRTUOUS ... or "Special" , qualities being "perfection" "guide" "wisdom" "a mother and a wife" "beautiful smell and angelic appearance and atmosphere around her" the whole package in one ...

Oh god , I hope I'm not in LaLA land .. I hope this sort of lady exists ... Lol

w salam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL minnie, the 5th requirement in your list is too much to ask for. You should lower the bar a bit more.

Seriously considering doing just that!!

^ Very true. Also, I have been doing this marriage thing for a while now, and I've learned a few things that I think might be helpful for the brs.

There are some women and some parents who are only looking for strictly material success ($ in the bank, profession). They are out there,

but they are the minority, maybe a big minority, but a minority all the same, IMO. If someone believes in Allah(s.w.a), the Teaching of Our Prophet, and actually glances at the Holy Quran from time to time, they are very aware that $ of money or profession, or reputation are very fleeting and not permenant and people with money, power, and reputation are condemned in the Holy Quran and Hadith much more than they are praised (see Surat At Tawba, Surat At Munafiqfin, Surat Al Ankabut, and many others). If you find out that a girl or a family is ONLY interested in material wealth and resources and this is the subject of the majority of their questions and concerns, RUN FAR, RUN FAST, and don't ever consider marrying their daughter. It will end badly either for her or you and her. Also, if they demand a large maher, payable at or before the wedding, then you should serious consider whether you should marry her or not. I am not saying this is always bad, and sometimes there is a legitimate reason or reasons for it, but most of the time it is just greed. You need to clarify with them what is their purpose for asking for a large maher (many thousands or dollars or equlivalent in property, etc) before proceeding.

The majority of parents and girls/women are looking for strength of character and also spiritual qualities, and this is sometimes confused with materialism. They want to know that a guy is ambitious and determined when it comes to supporting his family and that he will protect their daughter and provide for her and that he is capable of doing this.

They don't place a specific dollar amount on this, but they want their daughter to be happy and well cared for. They want to know that a man has the intention of developing himself education and career wise, because in today's world this is a requirement and not an option. Also, a girl from a poor or middle class background will require a lot less to keep her 'happy' than a girl from a wealthy background. That is why there is ahadith to the effect of you shouldn't marry a girl from a wealthy background unless you have the means to maintain her at the level she is used to. The vast majority of girls/women out there are from a poor or middle class background and they are not hard to find so usually this issue is not a problem and also the wealthy ones tend to marry within their own small communities or families.

So most parents and girls are looking for qualities, general strenght of character, determination, focus, education, and taqwa and Iman. So they know that whatever happens, their daughter will be safe and she will not starve or be homeless or in a great deal of hardship. This is what most logical parents want for their daughter. This dunya is a world of change and impermenance and we are always being tested with our wealth and other things. Most realize this and take it into consideration

Salam brother, I agree completely with what you said.

Please would you be able to tell us what a boy and his family are looking for??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sorry for describing my sexy self to the Shia girls ! Lol I better be careful , ive already been locked out once ! Lol ;P

By the way, I use shiachat on my iPhone ... And I got some messages from the brothers concerning this topic , how do I access it on

my iPhone ?

Thanks for all the information guys , I'm 17 so that's why I'm discussing it , because time

flies and before you know it I'll be 20 ! Omg ...

My family will probably expect me to marry some "Khodja" girl .. But ... It's just getting old .. I wanna mix cultures a bit .. I don't mind any culture (although I'll probably go for Lebanese lol) but as long as the lady is VIRTUOUS ... or "Special" , qualities being "perfection" "guide" "wisdom" "a mother and a wife" "beautiful smell and angelic appearance and atmosphere around her" the whole package in one ...

Oh god , I hope I'm not in LaLA land .. I hope this sort of lady exists ... Lol

w salam

Seriously dude. Get over yourself.

The way you sound; you'll be lucky to find anyone.

Edited by shiasoldier786

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sorry for describing my sexy self to the Shia girls ! Lol I better be careful , ive already been locked out once ! Lol ;P

By the way, I use shiachat on my iPhone ... And I got some messages from the brothers concerning this topic , how do I access it on

my iPhone ?

Thanks for all the information guys , I'm 17 so that's why I'm discussing it , because time

flies and before you know it I'll be 20 ! Omg ...

My family will probably expect me to marry some "Khodja" girl .. But ... It's just getting old .. I wanna mix cultures a bit .. I don't mind any culture (although I'll probably go for Lebanese lol) but as long as the lady is VIRTUOUS ... or "Special" , qualities being "perfection" "guide" "wisdom" "a mother and a wife" "beautiful smell and angelic appearance and atmosphere around her" the whole package in one ...

Oh god , I hope I'm not in LaLA land .. I hope this sort of lady exists ... Lol

w salam

Unless your this guy, forget it:

YOUTUBE LINK REMOVED: Please do not post video of ads with an indecently clad guy.

Edited by Zareen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seriously dude. Get over yourself.

The way you sound; you'll be lucky to find anyone.

Ok ok ! Geez take a chill pill lol ... Everyones just clawing at me and I'm like EDITED ? Lol

Mod's Note: Do not use vulgar words even in its short form.

Edited by Zareen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...