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UseF

Distance Between A Woman!

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I will get straight to the point,

I have great friends (alhumduallah),and they are girls. I mean.... is it Haram for me to have friends (that are girls) that i talk to and hang out with, in big groups at restaurants and movie theaters?

Also, is it haram to drive a girl home if she is the only one in the car? or if there are 2 girls in the car?

finally, I have a friend that is going through a hard time with personal issues, and she is starting to revert to Islam, and i am teaching her many things... I always talk to her on the phone for HOURS! Is that permissible in Islam or am i going to far?

My friend says I shouldn't talk to them... but i would feel bad cutting them out of my life.

WHAT SHOULD I DO!!! Give ME a QUOTE FROM THE QURAN!

Thank you.

Edited by UseF

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WHAT SHOULD I DO!!! Give ME a QUOTE FROM THE QURAN!

Ok.............

“Slay the idolators [non-Muslims] wherever ye find them, and take them captive, and besiege them, and prepare for them each ambush. Fight against such of those who have been given the Scripture as believe not in Allah nor the last Day…. Go forth, light-armed and heavy-armed, and strive with your wealth and your lives in the way of Allah! (Sura 9:5,29,41).

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Ok.............

“Slay the idolators [non-Muslims] wherever ye find them, and take them captive, and besiege them, and prepare for them each ambush. Fight against such of those who have been given the Scripture as believe not in Allah nor the last Day…. Go forth, light-armed and heavy-armed, and strive with your wealth and your lives in the way of Allah! (Sura 9:5,29,41).

Nice... Thanksss you solved my problem.

jk

ummmm.... I want someone to tell me their opinion, and Then Site proof to back up their claim.

Yabny... what do you think?

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I will get straight to the point,

I have great friends (alhumduallah),and they are girls. I mean.... is it Haram for me to have friends (that are girls) that i talk to and hang out with, in big groups at restaurants and movie theaters?

Also, is it haram to drive a girl home if she is the only one in the car? or if there are 2 girls in the car?

finally, I have a friend that is going through a hard time with personal issues, and she is starting to revert to Islam, and i am teaching her many things... I always talk to her on the phone for HOURS! Is that permissible in Islam or am i going to far?

My friend says I shouldn't talk to them... but i would feel bad cutting them out of my life.

WHAT SHOULD I DO!!! Give ME a QUOTE FROM THE QURAN!

Thank you.

Salaams usef, I think you should ask someone knowledgeable about this..... perhaps an elder...inshallah things will work out soon...

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Friendship with a non-mahram is not allowed.

Please state the obvious brejrin!!!! i KNOW IT'S NOT ALLOWED BUT I'M ASKIN FOR A SOLUTION .......IM 15 AND I LIVE IN THE WEST AND QUITE FRANKLY MY LEVEL OF IMAN IS WEAK AKKI !!!!!!! You can tell me all you want that its haram ......but in this day and age Haram means nuttin to me right now...my parents are so religious theyve told me to stay away from bacon, and I do that! But women are more attractive to me than bacon (some !!) ....but then again if all you're lookin for is "YES IT'S HARAM" kind of answers to your questions then are you really gonna stop being friends with them after you know what they say????

Let us all know Usneff

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-Give the girls a ride home. Are you planning to leave a girl stranded where she is, instead of seeing that she safely returns home? That is despicable.

-Befriend Muslim girls. That is the way to get to know them so you can eventually marry. If you're worried about haram, just act like your mom is sitting with you.

-Please do use your judgment and don't get carried away doing something you will eventually regret.

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-Give the girls a ride home. Are you planning to leave a girl stranded where she is, instead of seeing that she safely returns home? That is despicable.

-Befriend Muslim girls. That is the way to get to know them so you can eventually marry. If you're worried about haram, just act like your mom is sitting with you.

-Please do use your judgment and don't get carried away doing something you will eventually regret.

When a man and a woman are alone, shaitaan is the third.

I do not think this is a good idea at all.

I was raised christian (practicing) and converted to Islam later in life, so I know what goes on in a girls head.

With youth, it is very hard to stop feelings from growing when you are someone's friend.

do not drive them home. Even if there are two. If the choice is giving them a ride and them being stranded, call a cab and wait near them to make sure they are safe, but dont do this brother.

Do not befriend muslim girls. this is terrible advice. If you want to get married, or get to know a girl for marriage, actually have your mom sit with you. this is better.

As for teaching the girl islam, it is better for her to learn from another girl. trust me.

I converted to islam when I was 20, and already had guy friends. my best friend in high school was a guy. it was hard cutting them out, and i did not do it in a mean way, but it had to be done. alhamdulillah, Allah swt made it easy for me.

Please, trust me when I say this. I am not saying it because i am super conservative, or because I was raised this way... i totally get it. guys and girls are not that different. and hormones run like crazy at this age, and it is easy to make a mistake and not realize the consequences until it is too late. May Allah swt make things easy for you, ameen.

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I dont see how its bad to do that. As long as your not meaning any sexual intentions, merely dropping them off. Friends just friends.

But we are told not to, that is why. I don't understand the disagreement here... men and women are separated for a reason... a GOOD reason... speak with a sheikh. That will be better for you. And remember everything you say/type is being recorded. Do not give someone advice you are unsure of, you will be held responsible for that information on the day of judgement.

Guys and girls are no different... they both have urges and hormones, and two alone or even being friends will cause tension. and lust. We are told, no, COMMANDED to lower our gaze! are you telling me that you never look at the girls you hang out with? THIS IS IN QURAN! There is no debating this! Yes, it is hard, and yes, it is sometimes no fun, but this is ISLAM! You cannot pick and choose which parts you will listen to and which you will ignore! Subhanallah!

May Allah swt guide us all... ameen!

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But we are told not to, that is why. I don't understand the disagreement here... men and women are separated for a reason... a GOOD reason... speak with a sheikh. That will be better for you. And remember everything you say/type is being recorded. Do not give someone advice you are unsure of, you will be held responsible for that information on the day of judgement.

Guys and girls are no different... they both have urges and hormones, and two alone or even being friends will cause tension. and lust. We are told, no, COMMANDED to lower our gaze! are you telling me that you never look at the girls you hang out with? THIS IS IN QURAN! There is no debating this! Yes, it is hard, and yes, it is sometimes no fun, but this is ISLAM! You cannot pick and choose which parts you will listen to and which you will ignore! Subhanallah!

May Allah swt guide us all... ameen!

TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU DEAR SISTER.

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Friendship with a non mahram female is haram and you should stay away from it as it is what’s best for you and for the girl, don’t forget the hadith which states that when you are alone with a girl there is always a third person with you, the Shatan which answers you question about giving her a ride home. As it is very easy to fall into sin when your always in contact with the girl. There are also many other reasons but this should be enough for now.

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Salaam,

"Say to the believing men that they cast down their glance and guard their private parts; that is purer for them . God is aware of the things they do." (24:30) MEN ARE FIRST ON THIS ISSUE THINK BOUT IT WHY ARE MEN FIRST?

"Say to the believing women that they cast down their glance and guard their private parts and reveal not their adornment except such as is outward and let them cast their veils (khumar) over their bosoms and reveal not their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, or their husbands' fathers or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons or their women or what their right hands own, or such men as attend to them, not having sexual desire, or children who have not yet attained knowledge of women's private parts nor let them stamp their feet, so that their hidden ornament may be known. And turn all together to God, O you believers, so you will prosper." (24:31)

In the phrase, "Say to the believing men that they cast down their glance," there are two words which we have to define. One isghadh and the other is absar. A person who might say absar, the plural of basar, needs no explanation because it means eyes but absar essentially means 'sight'. If it had said 'ain asin ghamdh'ain it would have meant 'close their eyes'. It would have had a particular meaning in this case. What does ghadh basar mean? Ghadh means 'lower', 'cast down', not 'cover' or 'close'. We see this in another verse, "Be modest in thy walk and lower (yaghaddwu) thy voice; the most hideous of voices is the ass's." (31:19) This does not mean to be silent. A person's voice should be moderate. In the same way, 'to cast down one's glance' means not to look in a fixed way, not to stare.

In a famous tradition of Hind ibn Abi Halah which describes the Holy Prophet, it is recorded, "When he was happy, he would cast down his glance." [1] It is clear it does not mean he closed his eyes.

Another issue is shaking hands. Of course, all of these issues arise only when there is no lust or fear of deviation present; otherwise they are clearly not permitted. Again, the traditions and religious edicts confirm one another in this matter. The Imam was asked if it is permitted to shake hands with a non-related woman. He said, "No, unless the hands be covered or the woman be mahram." One must not shake the hands with a woman who is not mahram unless her hand is covered and even then, pressure should not be applied.' [7]

As quoted from Modesty of Hijab from Murtaza Mutahharilink

Side note....If we can't shake hands with women and can't look at them in a lustful manner...then i'm very sure talking for hours on the phone...driving them around....is well over the line of shari'ah...sorry bro thats Islam.....thats why we love Islam :) PROTECT THE SOCIETY! By the way bro I live in London so dnt gve the excuse I live in the west and there are more 'modern'.....and the rest of the excuses.....Alhumdulillah I stayed away from girls living in the west since I was born.

Peace and blessings

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there are some actions that are not haram but best be avoided like talking to girls

the talking itself is not haram but what is said and why and how is important

i heard many men who helped new reverts to islam , the guid them at firs show them the books and all and the introduce them to some women of their family or community who would tak over the teaching

driving girls home is not haram per se but better be avoided , specially at night specially alone

2 or more girls in the car with the intention of driving them home no more is allowed as a group of women considered mahram to each other

it is all about intentions brother , better be honest with yourself there , your feelings and desires and all

going to theaters though ermm , dont you have boys around you whom you hang with ?

as brothers and sisters said , befriending is not allowed , helping yes , teaching yes , driving them home yes if 2 girls or more plus not more than driving them home is there ( a girl alone also may be permissible but better be avoided )

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Listen To Me Very Closely! ISLAM DOES NOT FORBID FRIENDSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX!!! but as long as none of the following happens: looking at the girls with direct eye contact, touching (such as shaking hands), and having bad ententions is haram (you know what I mean). other than that u are allowed to have friends that are girls.

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(salam)

As for driving a girl home there is no problem in it as long as neither of you fears that you will fall into haram acts and there is no issue regarding social scandal.

Making friends with women is a dangerous proposition as either one of you run the risk of becoming attached to the other person in manner that can lead to destructive feelings and/or haram actions.

Talking for hours on the phone with a girl who is having emotional issues and telling her about Islam is a horrible idea unless you intend to marry her, (since you are 15 I do not think you intend to do so). It is highly likely that this girl will become attached to you, and if she becomes Muslim and things do not work out between the two of you romantically that she will leave Islam. I have witnessed this far to many times.

(wasalam)

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(wasalam)

Lets not foul ourseleves. Men and women can never become friends without one or the other having bad intentions. Trust me thats impossible, theres no such thing.

No, genuis. Unless you approach them for friendship with "bad" intentions you are not destined to be in each other arms believe me. It's not rocket science to maintain a respectable distance. And even despite that, it is a different matter if you start liking the person and end up marrying them with their full consent. In that case it wouldn't really be "bad". It's very human.

Edited by Marbles

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(wasalam)

No, genuis. Unless you approach them for friendship with "bad" intentions you are not destined to be in each other arms believe me. It's not rocket science to maintain a respectable distance. And even despite that, it is a different matter if you start liking the person and end up marrying them with their full consent. In that case it wouldn't really be "bad". It's very human.

No need to use mockery language to get your point across, we can understand when someone types with respect. Friendship can not be formed between a male and female and if you ask any scholar or majia or any learnered person they will tell you that and tell you to avoid that. Lets not bring the western mentality onto the table. Friendship can not be formed and all the scholars advise us against it. Even if nothing happens, a bad thought can pass in one of your heads, if not yours then hers and thats when the danger starts. Yes many relationships may be innocent and nonthing happens but can you really control someones thoughts. Lets stick to what the scholars and those who are more knowledge then us tell us. Lets not foul ourseleves and our souls

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(wasalam)

No need to use mockery language to get your point across, we can understand when someone types with respect. Friendship can not be formed between a male and female and if you ask any scholar or majia or any learnered person they will tell you that and tell you to avoid that. Lets not bring the western mentality onto the table. Friendship can not be formed and all the scholars advise us against it. Even if nothing happens, a bad thought can pass in one of your heads, if not yours then hers and thats when the danger starts. Yes many relationships may be innocent and nonthing happens but can you really control someones thoughts. Lets stick to what the scholars and those who are more knowledge then us tell us. Lets not foul ourseleves and our souls

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(wasalam)

Lets not foul ourseleves. Men and women can never become friends without one or the other having bad intentions. Trust me thats impossible, theres no such thing.

Not true. Friendships are many and varied, and intense and not so intense. Just use common sense and respectable behaviour so as not to give the wrong impression. Sometimes you have no choice but to be in close proximity and you need to be prepared. I have to work closely with men in my position and it is not a problem - you gradually chat and get to know them as they speak about their families and children, etc and grow to care about them and their families - all halal and above board.

Edited by Maryaam

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(salam)

Not true. Friendships are many and varied, and intense and not so intense. Just use common sense and respectable behaviour so as not to give the wrong impression. Sometimes you have no choice but to be in close proximity and you need to be prepared. I have to work closely with men in my position and it is not a problem - you gradually chat and get to know them as they speak about their families and children, etc and grow to care about them and their families - all halal and above board.

Sister i do not agree with you, im telling you we can not have close female friends. Its impossible

You are commiting a great sin for having femail friends. EIther marry them or keep your distance. Such freindships are not permited and will lead to sin.

Well said

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(salam)

Sister i do not agree with you, im telling you we can not have close female friends. Its impossible

Well said

Please define "close female friends". Explain what do you do with them.

You are commiting a great sin for having. . .

"Great sin" or gunah kabeerah is a technical term in Islam. It shouldn't be thrown around without justification.

femail friends.

Interesting. That must be some other gender methinks.

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Not true. Friendships are many and varied, and intense and not so intense. Just use common sense and respectable behaviour so as not to give the wrong impression. Sometimes you have no choice but to be in close proximity and you need to be prepared. I have to work closely with men in my position and it is not a problem - you gradually chat and get to know them as they speak about their families and children, etc and grow to care about them and their families - all halal and above board.

Whilst that is true, we shouldn't consider our na-mahram colleagues as friends. I'm sure you don't socialise with them outside the workplace like you would with a girl friend, or buy them a birthday gift.

Edited by keys2paradise

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Interesting. That must be some other gender methinks.

What is the meaning of this? Why do you mock my english? English is not my first laguage and yet I try to use it in order to guide you and prevnet you from falling to the doings of sheitan rajeem and instead of thanking me for tryoing to bring you salvation you focus on my spelling? Sobhanallah and may Allah guide us all!

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