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In the Name of God بسم الله

Adding Non Mahrams As Friends

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Explain why, if indeed it is a sin then it should be easy to explain.

...

areyou afraid of girls or something ?

(bismillah)

(salam)

Brother, it isn't about being afraid, or being unable to control ourselves, as some of the people in this thread have questioned.

Due to our limited knowledge, both individually and collectively, we can't claim to be able to fully explain any law, but we can attempt to do so partially.

Regarding the question of friendship between genders, here is how I understand it:

-Islam is a preventive religion, it doesn't wait for the problem to appear, rather it attempts to avoid the problem altogether. For example, some may argue that they can drink certain quantities or types of alcohol without getting intoxicated. However, Islam doesn't wait for somebody to get drunk and THEN stop drinking, rather we are instructed not to drink at all!

You find a similar idea with male-female relationships. Instead of entering grey areas between friendship and possibly something else, we find that potential problems are prevented by not having friendship in the first place.

-The second point that comes to mind is marriage. This isn't only a physical need, but also a social need. The relationship between a married couple is something very sacred and I believe it can be best appreciated when it is exclusive. What I mean by this is that couples appreciate each other's companionship less when they have already experienced several relationships to the point where marriage is no longer something special. This is one of the social problems faced in the West today. The physical relationship between a couple is no longer something special, because a lot of people have experienced it before and similarly, the social relationship isn't special either because usually men have known lots of women (without necessarily dating them) and vice versa. Note that friendship is an important part of marriage and therefore if it is exclusive then it will be more appreciated.

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Sorry but comparing the law on alcohol and this so called "forbidden-friendship" is ridiculous.

It is very easy to become drunk, two or three beers and you're drunk and ready to commit many sins. That is why it is EXPLICITELY said in the Quran that drinking alcohol is COMPLETELY FORBIDDEN. One becomes drunk against his own will. One does NOT engage in illicit relations with a girl against his own will.

But do you think every men out there who is friend with a woman ends up in bed with her ? The men that do aren't religious, they are impure and misguided souls without ethics.

If it was as dangerous as drinking alcohol, then why isn't there such a law in the Quran aswell " You cannot have non-mahram as friends " ? Only one thing can relate to the subject : everything is in your intent.

To what extent can you invent laws hiding behind " Islam is a preventive religion " ?

I have had PLENTY of female friends BUT I am a muslim and I would never engage in a physical relationship, it is clearly written in the Quran that to have sex before marriage is forbidden, therefore why would I even think of it ? Such law is ENOUGH for me not to go further, there is NO reason for me to stop befriending girls and have a nice talk with them if I follow what is in the Quran already. I don't need a " PREVENTIVE LAW ".

Due to our limited knowledge, both individually and collectively, we can't claim to be able to fully explain any law, but we can attempt to do so partially.

Complete joke. The Quran is a book for humans with laws for humans. We can understand and explain any law in it. If you can't understand your invented law, maybe it is because it's a stupid law.

Edited by naro
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Reading through the OP's posts what concerns me more is from where he has so much insight into what type of conversations people get into on fb. you would have had to had first hand experience to know EXACTLY what sort of stuff is talked about. There is having a general IDEA of what will be talked about and there is knowing exactly what is talked about in detail. That is what i am reffering to. I can be pretty sure that the OP has loads of females on his fb account, and then comes here complaining of promiscous woman. Trying to make out like he is the poor, defenceless victim. Bombarded by these types of crazy, hijabis. It takes two to tango. The responsibility lies on both male and female, not just women.

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(bismillah)

(salam)

Thankyou for your reply.

It is very easy to become drunk, two or three beers and you're drunk and ready to commit many sins. That is why it is EXPLICITELY said in the Quran that drinking alcohol is COMPLETELY FORBIDDEN. One becomes drunk against his own will. One does NOT engage in illicit relations with a girl against his own will.

It was only an example to explain the concept of prevention instead of waiting until the problem occured and THEN regretting it.

But do you think every men out there who is friend with a woman ends up in bed with her ? The men that do aren't religious, they are impure and misguided souls without ethics.

No, of course not. But a lot of people also drink alcohol on a regular basis, some with most of their meals, without getting drunk. Like I said before, it's not a question of waiting UNTIL someone commits fornication, but rather to block off the very starting point. People do not usually randomly commit fornication, but instead get to know one another first. This is where Islam keeps a precaution and prevents friendship altogether. Similarly, people do not become drunk instantly. They have to drink a certain amount first, and Islam doesn't wait for them to keep drinking until it's too late, rather it says no alcohol, full stop.

If it was as dangerous as drinking alcohol, then why isn't there such a law in the Quran aswell " You cannot have non-mahram as friends " ? Only one thing can relate to the subject : everything is in your intent.

I'm not saying it's as dangerous, but to answer your question, I will ask a few people who are well versed in the Qur'an and the narrations if they can point out some references and will come back with them, insha'Allah.

To what extent can you invent laws hiding behind " Islam is a preventive religion " ?

The laws aren't invented, brother, they are derived.

I have had PLENTY of female friends BUT I am a muslim and I would never engage in a physical relationship, it is clearly written in the Quran that to have sex before marriage is forbidden, therefore why would I even think of it ?

Brother it's not just a matter of sex, rather even physical contact is disallowed, albeit a handshake. Also, note that prevention is only one reason, there was also another reason I mentioned in my post.

Complete joke. The Quran is a book for humans with laws for humans. We can understand and explain any law in it. If you can't understand your invented law, maybe it is because it's a stupid law.

Maybe you misunderstood me. What I meant to say was that when explaining something, we can't claim to have complete knowledge. We can discuss a few reasons but for all we know there might be several other reasons that we haven't recognized yet. As you know, the Qur'an is an eternal book and there are some aspects we can understand better today than 100 years ago, and similarly we might understand other aspects better in another 100 years.

Edited by Mahdavist
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Explain why, if indeed it is a sin then it should be easy to explain.

are you afraid of girls or something ?

Hahahhahha!!! It would be very difficult for me to be afraid of girls! You see I live in a female body, I'm a girl myself...hehhhe... My point was to explain to the brother that it's not necessary for him to have girls on his FB.

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(bismillah)

(salam)

Thankyou for your reply.

It was only an example to explain the concept of prevention instead of waiting until the problem occured and THEN regretting it.

No, of course not. But a lot of people also drink alcohol on a regular basis, some with most of their meals, without getting drunk. Like I said before, it's not a question of waiting UNTIL someone commits fornication, but rather to block off the very starting point. People do not usually randomly commit fornication, but instead get to know one another first. This is where Islam keeps a precaution and prevents friendship altogether. Similarly, people do not become drunk instantly. They have to drink a certain amount first, and Islam doesn't wait for them to keep drinking until it's too late, rather it says no alcohol, full stop.

I'm not saying it's as dangerous, but to answer your question, I will ask a few people who are well versed in the Qur'an and the narrations if they can point out some references and will come back with them, insha'Allah.

The laws aren't invented, brother, they are derived.

Brother it's not just a matter of sex, rather even physical contact is disallowed, albeit a handshake. Also, note that prevention is only one reason, there was also another reason I mentioned in my post.

Maybe you misunderstood me. What I meant to say was that when explaining something, we can't claim to have complete knowledge. We can discuss a few reasons but for all we know there might be several other reasons that we haven't recognized yet. As you know, the Qur'an is an eternal book and there are some aspects we can understand better today than 100 years ago, and similarly we might understand other aspects better in another 100 years.

Once again I applaud your reply very sharp indeed!

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You should minimize the contact with the opposite gender. Is it necessary for your survival do add girls on FB? No it's not, therefore it can't be allowed. The person who started this thread is worring about himself/herself that is what nahi anil munkar is. You must tell people not to do what is forbidden; thats a part of his/her obligation in our religion.

So what kind of society do you live in? When you go to school or work your mates aren't of the opposite gender? Yes, some of us have girls on facebook that doesn't mean we are doing haram. It doesn't mean we are thinking of unlawful acts.. Facebook is online, can you imagine what it's like in real life? You're telling me we should minimize contact are you insane or what? The society I live doesn't help that idea too much. Yes, one should mantain his or her modesty and lower their gaze but to completely avoid the opposite gender is impossible and there is nothing wrong with opposite gender contact just as long as your intentions are pure.

Of course it's not necessary but some girls of mine are "friends" and we will always be "friends" so don't you dare judge people telling us were doing right and wrong.

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Ignoring the fact that Sistani's English office has an history of giving vague replies, I have seen people interpret the same fatwa in different ways. I have mine and I have reasons for it.

The answer is addressing the nature of friendship asked about in the original question. That is: a boy of fifteen making friendship with a girl and taking her as girl friend. Notice the emphasis on fifteen years. it is assuming that a young guy who is waking up to his sexuality now wants to take a girl friend for company, if not for romance and sex, and therefore it is haram for him to make friendship with a girl. It could lead to sin if they are not married. So far so good. But one may ask, what if a man is 30 years old? and what if the friendship is due to a shared interest or activity? From an organisation? workplace? school? etc?

I don't think such general statements that 'friendship with a non-mahram isn't allowed" cover each and every scenario. In this case, if you are a person with strict morals, it is your common sense that is your marja.

Sure you can say that, if you want to ignore the fact that every question you ever send sayed sistani regarding a personal problem, his office replies back with the general fatwa regarding that issue.

For example, is dancing at my school prom allowed if there will only be girls there? His reply will be : dancing is haram under all circumstances.

OR: Is listening to rap music haram if the guy is using language that isn't offensive? Hi reply will be: any form of ghina or lahw is haram to listen to.

The kid asks about g/f b/f in this situation and they reply with the general ruling about having male/female friendship.

I took the time few years ago to clarify what he really means by sending them a question saying they contradict themselves several times and what is the exact fatwa. I posted it on shiachat in a thread i made specifically for that purpose and i remember Ali Imran using it too. Feel free to search for that topic because i don't feel like it.

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Sure you can say that, if you want to ignore the fact that every question you ever send sayed sistani regarding a personal problem, his office replies back with the general fatwa regarding that issue.

For example, is dancing at my school prom allowed if there will only be girls there? His reply will be : dancing is haram under all circumstances.

This is the problem IMO. Specific questions should not be answered with general answers. It is ambiguious and confusing. I might as well see a representative 'aalim to discuss my issue instead of e-mailing the marja's office. Not very helpful.

I took the time few years ago to clarify what he really means by sending them a question saying they contradict themselves several times and what is the exact fatwa. I posted it on shiachat in a thread i made specifically for that purpose and i remember Ali Imran using it too. Feel free to search for that topic because i don't feel like it.

Thanks. Will look.

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This is the problem IMO. Specific questions should not be answered with general answers. It is ambiguious and confusing. I might as well see a representative 'aalim to discuss my issue instead of e-mailing the marja's office. Not very helpful.

I agree, it sucks, but what can we do. lol.

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I don't think adding someone for the purpose of academic or work related communication is unislamic as long as the shara limits are maintained. fb has a lotta options for separating lists of friends, it only becomes wrong once you start poking the other person, sending hearts, flowers etc, commenting on their pictures and activities. I have my class mates on my accnt but only communicate for some purpose and not for random convo. fb is a good place to make people aware about your beliefs, exchange news/current event infor etc. For example if in muharram i post a link on the reality of ashura...many sunni's might go and read it. its the way you use something. Even on SC many people indulge in flirtatious conversations or use phrases that might not be normally exchanged between a male and a female...so does that mean that even forums, blogs etc are wrong.

Another issue is that male cousins are also na-mehram...so does that mean family is not added as well?

When studying in co-ed is not haram, and one can exchange views about academic stuff etc., then how does doing the same on web become haram?

Well this is just my opinion...May Allah(swt) forgive me if i have written some thing wrong.

This is the problem IMO. Specific questions should not be answered with general answers. It is ambiguious and confusing. I might as well see a representative 'aalim to discuss my issue instead of e-mailing the marja's office. Not very helpful.

Don't you think when something is haram in its totality, all the subsets would be haram as well. For example if the main category of ghina is haram, then all its subsets would follow as well. in a way isn't it good that we are not spoon fed and are forced to use our fikr to probe further?

Edited by farwa
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i have a lot to respond to but this hadith will suffice for now:

1123- Imam Sadiq (a.s) said: "God's Prophet (a.s) used to greet women and return their greetings. Ameer al-Momineen used to greet women and return their greetings, but did not like to greet young women and said that he was afraid that hearing their voices might cause him to go into a state of mind which brings him more loss than the reward he expected to get from greeting them."

http://rafed.net/english/books/narrations/mishkat/24.html#119

i would like to see some responses to that one.

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Don't you think when something is haram in its totality, all the subsets would be haram as well. For example if the main category of ghina is haram, then all its subsets would follow as well. in a way isn't it good that we are not spoon fed and are forced to use our fikr to probe further?

This is the point. These things are not haram in their totality but depend on the situation at hand. See an example below.

It also depends on the phrasing of the question, the context of the terms used and the meaning attached to those terms. Not to mention the difficulties of translating a fatwa into an alien language. For example it is asked if interaction with non-mahram females for the purposes of work, study etc are allowed. You get the answer that yes it is allowed as long as their is no intention of getting into sin. So it is conditional. I now ask the question if friendship with non-mahram females is allowed. I get the answer that isn't. Here, the operative word is "friendship". What if I am thinking of friendship as interaction for the purposes other than idle talk, romance or sex, as in the previous question? The answer to this question should be the same. It is allowed as long as. This would avoid spoon feeding and one would be able to have space to think for themselves. On the other hand declaring that a concept as varied and broad as "friendship" is haram in its totality, in my opinion, is spoon feeding.

Also, the purpose of consulting the marja' for a particular issue is to get his opinion on that issue. It does not pay off to get general answers cos people already know it. There is a reason why so many people find such rulings ambiguous and unhelpful.

Edited by Marbles
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So what kind of society do you live in? When you go to school or work your mates aren't of the opposite gender? Yes, some of us have girls on facebook that doesn't mean we are doing haram. It doesn't mean we are thinking of unlawful acts.. Facebook is online, can you imagine what it's like in real life? You're telling me we should minimize contact are you insane or what? The society I live doesn't help that idea too much. Yes, one should mantain his or her modesty and lower their gaze but to completely avoid the opposite gender is impossible and there is nothing wrong with opposite gender contact just as long as your intentions are pure.

Of course it's not necessary but some girls of mine are "friends" and we will always be "friends" so don't you dare judge people telling us were doing right and wrong.

I never meant to absolutely judge you and say that you are absolutely wrong bro. I can recall you pointing a finger on the person starting this thread when actually they are only doing what they have to do. So I agree more with the person opening this thread than with you; that's my opinion and it differs from yours that's all. By the way people will judge you in every step of your life whether you like it or not bro that's a part of life and human nature. I do live in a big City with loads of people no one in this mixed society can force me to put people of the opposite gender on my FB thats an active choice you made and no one else made it for you. Yes I do admit their are some crucial things we are bound to do like going to work or school there are people from the opposite gender but then you only speak to them what is absoultely necessary. Having girls as your "friends" according to my opinion on FB is not necessary for your lifecycle and that's solely my opinion.

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I never meant to absolutely judge you and say that you are absolutely wrong bro. I can recall you pointing a finger on the person starting this thread when actually they are only doing what they have to do. So I agree more with the person opening this thread than with you; that's my opinion and it differs from yours that's all. By the way people will judge you in every step of your life whether you like it or not bro that's a part of life and human nature. I do live in a big City with loads of people no one in this mixed society can force me to put people of the opposite gender on my FB thats an active choice you made and no one else made it for you. Yes I do admit their are some crucial things we are bound to do like going to work or school there are people from the opposite gender but then you only speak to them what is absoultely necessary. Having girls as your "friends" according to my opinion on FB is not necessary for your lifecycle and that's solely my opinion.

No hard feelings Insha'Allah sister. I understand what you are saying, but I believe FB is very insignificant and irrelvant that simply having the oppoiste gender as friends won't affect your deen (unless of course you want it to by flirting, and doing other unnessary stuff).

I feel the real world is more imoortant and means more then an online social networking site. I just think we're making a big deal out of it.

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This is the point. These things are not haram in their totality but depend on the situation at hand. See an example below.

It also depends on the phrasing of the question, the context of the terms used and the meaning attached to those terms. Not to mention the difficulties of translating a fatwa into an alien language. For example it is asked if interaction with non-mahram females for the purposes of work, study etc are allowed. You get the answer that yes it is allowed as long as their is no intention of getting into sin. So it is conditional. I now ask the question if friendship with non-mahram females is allowed. I get the answer that isn't. Here, the operative word is "friendship". What if I am thinking of friendship as interaction for the purposes other than idle talk, romance or sex, as in the previous question? The answer to this question should be the same. It is allowed as long as. This would avoid spoon feeding and one would be able to have space to think for themselves. On the other hand declaring that a concept as varied and broad as "friendship" is haram in its totality, in my opinion, is spoon feeding.

Also, the purpose of consulting the marja' for a particular issue is to get his opinion on that issue. It does not pay off to get general answers cos people already know it. There is a reason why so many people find such rulings ambiguous and unhelpful.

I still don't get it, i mean isn't it part of principle of communication that one clearly communicates the purpose of a question? If a child asks an elder, can i jump? the elder will say yes you can as long as you don't harm yourself. Now if the same child asks, can i jump off the terrace? the elder will say, you can't. the marja's can't read our minds, so i guess they can only answer according to the question. What i meant as the room they leave for fikr is that, by putting in a condition we can search why that condition is applicable.

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I still don't get it, i mean isn't it part of principle of communication that one clearly communicates the purpose of a question? If a child asks an elder, can i jump? the elder will say yes you can as long as you don't harm yourself. Now if the same child asks, can i jump off the terrace? the elder will say, you can't. the marja's can't read our minds, so i guess they can only answer according to the question. What i meant as the room they leave for fikr is that, by putting in a condition we can search why that condition is applicable.

LOL. That's I'm saying. General statements like "friendship with non-mahram fe/male is haram,", "music is haram", don't give any room for fikr; they don't put any condition to the general hukm. This is not the only problem. Sometimes you have complex situation which require detailed and specific advice. Such questions are also answered with general rulings.

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Intention has to count for something, because of this there are 2 options:

1. I'll never know someone's true intention when adding/confirming them, so steering clear of the opposite gender will make sure nothing happens...... the OP mentioned 'cousins' were okay... but how do I really know what my 'cousin' is thinking?

2. I know what my intention is, and that is what Allah (swt) will judge. Unless we post tantalising/seductive pictures of ourselves, and ones intention is to purely inform, 'wave' a hello to someone across the seas (which was my intention when i first agreed after months of pestering from my best friend in London)/streets. What is the harm (or 'haram') in this?

I dont think anyone can judge either of the above. There is hijab that needs to be observed on both sides.

If the intention is to ogle, Allah (swt) will know - or if you feel that that is how people will act, dont upload photos/add non-mahrams to your list.

Edited by Iman
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  • 3 weeks later...
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Would somebody really sit around and ogle at my friends list and speculate about the relationships I have with these people and whether or not my communication with them is halal? Isn't that what God gave me 'aql and a conscience for?

I've honestly never thought about opposite gender friends on fb being viewed through such a bleak, suspicious lens by others. I can't imagine any of the males on my list trying to use it as a platform to seduce... and if they did, all I'd have to do is hit the delete button- problem solved.

Where in that does depravity, corruption, and lawlessness necessarily figure in? Each individual is personally responsible for ensuring that he/she keeps out of evil's way in any given setting; who are we to assume that others aren't doing so simply because they don't make exactly the same choices as us?

I'm not going to say that this thread is wrong to question the notion of male-female friendships- everyone is entitled to an opinion when respectful- but to categorically assume the worst of our fellow brothers and sisters on the basis of a deed that may or may not be wrong; considering we personally can't determine which privacy features and other devices each person might be using to ensure their moral safety- is rather unjust, judgmental, and almost speaks worse of us than it does of them... are we truly assuming these positions for the goodwill of our fellow Muslims, or might there be a little 'ujb or kibr involved?

Perhaps I'm new to this dimension, but my definition of 'friendship' with the opposite gender extends simply to geniality, politeness, and good old fashioned human niceness- without any emotional attachment beyond basic universal empathy. I do believe it's entirely possible to be kind to someone without wanting to procreate with them.

I've gotten through 12 years of American schooling without this approach landing me in a haram relationship, so facebook friends Alhamdulillah haven't been the moral death of me after all.

Can we all just cut ourselves a break and assume, for the goodness of humanity, that our fellow brothers and sisters *are* all looking for spouses or probably have equally plausible excuses and don't need us pointing our well-trained fingers in their direction?

This thread reminds me of the Pride & Prejudice quote-

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. "

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what stops a woman making her photos exclusive to her female friends? why take the risk of falling into a sin? how do you know that no man is looking lustfully? anyway answer me this question: what is the point of a girl showing her pictures to men? isnt there less harm in hiding the pictures than in showing them? unless she is looking for a husband .....

Where does the buck stop?

Physical hijab is just one part of controlling lust. And regardless of the extent of the hijab, lust cannot be fully controlled without a conscious effort of men to NOT LOOK LUSTFULLY.

If these women are posting pictures where they have hijab, how is that any different than simply walking outside of their house? The risk is an omnipresent one. At some point you need to concede certain things.

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Here's the problem,

You add a girl(non-mahram) as a friend on facebook. Maybe your intentions are not necessarily haram (you have a class with her and want to get updates on lectures you can't attend, or she added you as friend and you don't want to seem rude, etc). Also, maybe she wears proper hijab in all her photos. Then you go to her page, and you can see all her friends, some of whom wear convertible or no hijab or dress very immodestly. Now you are looking at their pictures, because they are on her friends list and your eyes are slowly focusing on the right side of the page. Now you have inadvertantly entered into haram territory. You may not be looking with lust, but you realize that you have crossed over a line.

So what do you do now? Delete her as a friend?

Or maybe the same girl pops up on chat and wants to chat with you. Maybe innocent stuff, about school, religion, etc. No problem yet. Then the conversation starts to get personal.

Or maybe you have a friend on facebook who is a guy, but he has friends who are girls and those girls have racy profile pics?

I am not saying any of those situations will send you to hell in a handbasket, but we must be concious of them and if we use Facebook on a regular basis (like probably 90% of you do), then we should know how to deal with the above situations if they occur. Don't wait for them to come up then make it up as you go along. All these things have happened to me, and I am hardly ever on Facebook, so I'm sure they have happened to you.

My solution is to send an email rather than add someone on Facebook. I only add people on Facebook that I am reasonably sure will not lead me into any of these situations.

Edited by Abu Hadi
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Here's the problem,

You add a girl(non-mahram) as a friend on facebook. Maybe your intentions are not necessarily haram (you have a class with her and want to get updates on lectures you can't attend, or she added you as friend and you don't want to seem rude, etc). Also, maybe she wears proper hijab in all her photos. Then you go to her page, and you can see all her friends, some of whom wear convertible or no hijab or dress very immodestly. Now you are looking at their pictures, because they are on her friends list and your eyes are slowly focusing on the right side of the page. Now you have inadvertantly entered into haram territory. You may not be looking with lust, but you realize that you have crossed over a line.

So what do you do now? Delete her as a friend?

Or maybe the same girl pops up on chat and wants to chat with you. Maybe innocent stuff, about school, religion, etc. No problem yet. Then the conversation starts to get personal.

Or maybe you have a friend on facebook who is a guy, but he has friends who are girls and those girls have racy profile pics?

I am not saying any of those situations will send you to hell in a handbasket, but we must be concious of them and if we use Facebook on a regular basis (like probably 90% of you do), then we should know how to deal with the above situations if they occur. Don't wait for them to come up then make it up as you go along. All these things have happened to me, and I am hardly ever on Facebook, so I'm sure they have happened to you.

My solution is to send an email rather than add someone on Facebook. I only add people on Facebook that I am reasonably sure will not lead me into any of these situations.

If this was facebook i would 'like' this @)

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(bismillah)

(salam)

I have a facebook account but have no friends yet. I have signed up as a fan of a few famous Muslims, and I guess I want to stay up-to-date on what they are doing!

If my friends want to contact me they already have my email.

I have a question about facebook photos. Since I don't have any friends yet I am not sure about this. If you can see pics of people who are on your friends list, can you copy these photos to your computer? Can they copy your photos to their computer? If so, this could become problematic! :o

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I have a question about facebook photos. Since I don't have any friends yet I am not sure about this. If you can see pics of people who are on your friends list, can you copy these photos to your computer? Can they copy your photos to their computer? If so, this could become problematic! :o

Yes, Quite easily.

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(bismillah)

(salam)

For me adding any random to ur frnd list is not a problem unless and until u have way to much personal info on ur profile and to be very honest I'm absolutely against having any of my or my family members pic anywhere on net let alone facebook. I dont like to show myself to the whole world for no reasons. If u r wanting to share events or occasion pics with ur family and frnd then do that via email it's way to much safe for u and others also.

One thing I need to know is as the reply of SALAM is wajib upon us then will it still be wajib when some random person PM u or mail u for no reason and in there u have his/her salam?

Wassalam.

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salaamun alaikum

Now correct me if I am wrong but in islam we are meant to have hayaa. We are not supposed to have friends of the opposite gender. So whats up with all these so called pious boys and girls with non mahrams on their friends list? I might be reacting a bit too harshly but i simply dont understand what makes one person say to themselves: "oooo let me add that girl on my list". Who are we kidding? Isnt it likely that the boy or girl making the intention to add has mixed intentions? Half the guys at my mosque have girls and on their list. If she is your cousin then ok. If you do charity work with her then email her, dont add her!

and another thing is pictures. if you are going to have pictures on your account especially if you are a muhajiba and a married one at that dont you think some guys are going to ogle at you? so aint it haraaaam? whats the point? you want to adversite yourself to someoen who is not your husband?

sorry but this is a public service announcement.

ASAK

First of all isn't it all about "Niyat?" what is the intention of the boy or girl who posts pictures or accepts non blood related men on their Facebook? I have a Facebook account but I noticed that myself and many other Muslims don't put their real pics up. Second I haven't seen any content yet that is haram. People talk politics, current events and frankly support one another in the most wonderful ways. I think you want to split hairs and make up more stuff to make us apart rather than together. One thing about Islam is we look severe and people of other religions don't want to try to know us because we have too many ways of putting them off. We don't smile, we have our heads down, we never participate in things because of something being "haram." I would say do some Dawah of the heart and mind and smile, make friends, and shake hands too at work, if you Niyat is to bring harmony to mankind and to help heal the image of Islam in the world you are okay. :angel:

Who needs bars and clubs when you got facebook... :unsure:

Gee that's pretty harsh. I use Facebook and mostly talk to my cousins and friends who I know from my Masjid. Why is that like a bar?

:unsure:

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