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In the Name of God بسم الله

Happy Husband

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  • Veteran Member

(bismillah) (salam)

How to make your Husband happy ?

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,

Begin with a good greeting.

Meet him with a cheerful face

Beautify and perfume yourself

Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested

Receive him with loving and yearning sentences

Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried)

3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

Take good care of your body and fitness.

Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.

Bathe regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells.

Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape

Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoos

Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes

Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and,

of course only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4. Intercourse

Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.

Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.

Exchange loving phrases with your husband.

Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.

Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g.

after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.

5. Satisfaction With What Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) Has Allotted

You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job

You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) for all that was given to you.

You should remember that real wealth lies in faith and piety.

6. Indifference to Worldly Things

You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.

You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.

Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the Hereafter

and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Al-Jannah).

Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7. Appreciation

By the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), the majority of people in Hell were women because they were ungrateful

and deny the good done to them.

The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways

The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: "Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?"

8. Devotion and Loyalty

In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy

Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9. Compliance to Him

In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram)

In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.

10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger. But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:

If you were mistaken, then apologize

If he was mistaken then:

Keep still instead of arguing or

Yield you right or

Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.

If he was angry because of external reasons then:

Keep silent until his anger goes

Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him

Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened e.g.

1) You should tell me what happened!

2) I must know what made you so angry!

3) You are hiding something, and I have the right to know!

11. Guardianship While He is Absent

Protect yourself from any prohibited relations

Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don't like other people to know.

Take care of the house and children.

Take care of his money and properties

Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijaab

Refuse people whom he does not like to come over

Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place

Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence

12. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.

You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.

You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife

Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.

Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home

Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc...

13. Admirable Jealousy

Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others disrespecting them, etc…

You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14. Patience and Emotional Support

Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.

When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, his and your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.

When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested etc.

Be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of Paradise.

When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment.

15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad

Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.

Encourage him to pray at night.

Listen and reciting the Qur'aan individually and with your husband.

Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.

Remember Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa, much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.

Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.

Learn Islamic rules (ahkaam) and good manners ('adab) for women.

Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.

Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah

Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah, subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa.

16. Good Housekeeping

Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged

Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom

Perfect food (preparation) and prepare healthy foods

Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing

Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17. Preservation of Finances and the Family

Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.

Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.

Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc.

Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed for the translator brother Abu Talhah,

and for the reviewer, brother Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors. Muslim Students' Association University of Alberta Edmonton, Canada February, 1999

The article is a summary of the book "How to Make Your Husband Happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

Taken from : Al-Haramain.org Newsletter

Edited by Shieflower
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So.... do u know if a man or a woman wrote this? To me it sounds suspiciously female

Because I think the most important opinion here is the opinion of a man!

BTW also most of us (inshallah) do not accept the 'hadith' that most of hell will be ungrateful women, this is froma sunni website

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  • Veteran Member

(bismillah) (salam)

The article is a summary of the book "How to Make Your Husband Happy"

by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

I think we shiasisters can learn a lot from this article.

When it comes to knowledge we can learn a lot even from a kafir.

Please dear sister dont make the hadith a problem.

It is the tips which is important

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  • Veteran Member

(salam) (bismillah)

Thanks for all the comments !

And YES the same author acctually has written a book on how to make Your wift happy.

Here I post some of it.

How to Make your Wife Happy

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

* begin with a good greeting.

* Start with Assalamau 'Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a

du'aa for her as well.

* Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

2. Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

* Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.

* Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.

* Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.

* Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart,

honey, saaliha, etc.

3. Friendliness and Recreation

* Spend time talking together.

* Spread to her goods news.

* Remember your good memories together.

4. Games and Distractions

* Joking around & having a sense of humor.

* Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.

* Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.

* Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

5. Assistance in the Household

* Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out,

especially if she is sick or tired.

* The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her

hard work.

6. Consultation (Shurah)

* Specifically in family matters.

* Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.

* Studying her opinion carefully.

* Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.

* Thanking her for helping him with her opinions.

7. Visiting Others

* Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great

reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time

while visiting!)

* Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.

* Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.

8. Conduct During Travel

* Offer a warm farewell and good advice.

* Ask her to pray for him.

* Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your

absence.

* Give her enough money for what she might need.

* Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..

* Return as soon as possible.

* Bring her a gift!

* Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.

* Take her with you if possible.

9. Financial Support

* The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He

should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).

* He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a

small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).

* He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.

10. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

* Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.

* Always being clean and neat.

* Put on perfume for her.

11. Intercourse

* It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)

* Start with "Bismillah" and the authentic du'a.

* Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).

* Begin with foreplay including words of love.

* Continue until you have satisfied her desire.

* Relax and joke around afterwards.

* Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram

* Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and

modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her

to do it first while he is looking on.

* Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting

pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are

heavy.

* Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as

sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.

The above is a part from the summary of the book "How to make your wife happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

http://www.islamfortoday.com/how_to_make_your_wife_happy.htm

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  • Advanced Member

(salam) (bismillah)

Thanks for all the comments !

And YES the same author acctually has written a book on how to make Your wift happy.

Here I post some of it.

How to Make your Wife Happy

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

* begin with a good greeting.

* Start with Assalamau 'Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a

du'aa for her as well.

* Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

2. Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

* Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.

* Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.

* Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.

* Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart,

honey, saaliha, etc.

3. Friendliness and Recreation

* Spend time talking together.

* Spread to her goods news.

* Remember your good memories together.

4. Games and Distractions

* Joking around & having a sense of humor.

* Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.

* Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.

* Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

5. Assistance in the Household

* Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out,

especially if she is sick or tired.

* The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her

hard work.

6. Consultation (Shurah)

* Specifically in family matters.

* Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.

* Studying her opinion carefully.

* Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.

* Thanking her for helping him with her opinions.

7. Visiting Others

* Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great

reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time

while visiting!)

* Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.

* Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.

8. Conduct During Travel

* Offer a warm farewell and good advice.

* Ask her to pray for him.

* Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your

absence.

* Give her enough money for what she might need.

* Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..

* Return as soon as possible.

* Bring her a gift!

* Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.

* Take her with you if possible.

9. Financial Support

* The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He

should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).

* He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a

small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith).

* He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.

10. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

* Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.

* Always being clean and neat.

* Put on perfume for her.

11. Intercourse

* It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)

* Start with "Bismillah" and the authentic du'a.

* Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).

* Begin with foreplay including words of love.

* Continue until you have satisfied her desire.

* Relax and joke around afterwards.

* Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram

* Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and

modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her

to do it first while he is looking on.

* Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting

pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are

heavy.

* Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as

sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.

The above is a part from the summary of the book "How to make your wife happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

http://www.islamfortoday.com/how_to_make_your_wife_happy.htm

Salam,

Though I generally think both lists are very well done, I find the bolded parts laughable and a bit offensive? Repeat words until her pretty little head understands? lol...I chose to believe women are smarter than such advice, and honestly shake hands?! Come on!

May God bless you all with pious, warm and understanding partners that will help you reach your spiritual potentials, ameen.

M3a thalek my prayers to those who put the effort into the lists, they are helpful and effective!

salaam

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  • Advanced Member

Salam,

Though I generally think both lists are very well done, I find the bolded parts laughable and a bit offensive? Repeat words until her pretty little head understands? lol...I chose to believe women are smarter than such advice, and honestly shake hands?! Come on!

May God bless you all with pious, warm and understanding partners that will help you reach your spiritual potentials, ameen.

M3a thalek my prayers to those who put the effort into the lists, they are helpful and effective!

salaam

Took the words right out of my mouth haha!

It has some decent points, but others made hubby and I laugh heaps!

I think there should be a more modern guide made because many women work or study now, and that'll take up a substantial amount time.

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  • Advanced Member

It has some decent points, but others made hubby and I laugh heaps!

:!!!: Me and my hubby were reading this yesterday and laughin about it too...:lol:

By the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), the majority of people in Hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.

When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment.

"Advice" [read : horseshi*t] like this was suitable for times when women were considered commodities and inferior to men. Doesn't make any sense today. Not at all.

Edited by Whizbee
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  • Veteran Member

"Advice" [read : horseshi*t] like this was suitable for times when women were considered commodities and inferior to men. Doesn't make any sense today. Not at all.

Now be ready to be called a dirty feminist. :P

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  • Advanced Member

:!!!: Me and my hubby were reading this yesterday and laughin about it too...:lol:

"Advice" [read : horseshi*t] like this was suitable for times when women were considered commodities and inferior to men. Doesn't make any sense today. Not at all.

Haha amen sister! It reminded me of this:

goodwifeguide.gif

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  • Banned

whizbee, shut up and get back in the kitchen before i reach for my miswak, disobedient woman!

:Hijabi:

nothin wrong with bein nice to your husband man

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  • Veteran Member

(bismillah) (salam)

Jazak Allah for all Your comments.

A hot discussion is going on here I see.

All of the advices does not fit everybody.

The article from shay confirms that even

the west used this guidelines !!!!

Have a nice day with Your family ! :) :) :)

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  • Advanced Member

nothin wrong with bein nice to your husband man

Nothing wrong but there is a limit. When you say that "most women will be in hell" (Sunni tradition BTW) and that women should always tolerate bad behavior from their husbands, that leads to a lot of oppression of women.

I was reading Daughters of Shame and my head was spinning as to the extent of abuse and oppression that women are made to put up with. I personally would never tell any girl that they are going to hell if they don't obey anything and everything their husband says and for whatever he does, that they will have no option but to just suck it up.

It's time sane people spoke out against [Edited Out] being doled out as advice to women.

The article from shay confirms that even

the west used this guidelines !!!!

Have a nice day with Your family ! :) :) :)

Yeah that was like in 1955 and as I said, such advice is now obsolete.

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  • Banned

whizzie out of interest, lets say you were the woman in the other thread, mrs "zanjeer is wrecking my marriage", what would be your position in that situation?

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  • Advanced Member

That was hillarious. To be honest its easy to make a list on paper of what to do in a marriage. But if only marriage was as simple as keeping to a list.

brush hair - check

put on perfume - check

dinner ready - check

open the door smiling sweetly - not check

sitting on the couch grumpy chewing with your mouth open - check.

woops, you fail today, better luck tomorrow!

i wouldnt let this fall in the hands of a certain man, that would be the end of it for me. :angel:

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Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoos

:cry: Hell , i have tattooed my arm for the love of ahlulbayt! If my husband cant apprecieate the zulfiqar on my right shoulder and the butterflies on my right ankle and the lanats on yazid on the left shoulder then he can burn himself in hell !

This list has been made up by a man theres no doubt in that !

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