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In the Name of God بسم الله

How Should A Muslim Woman Propose To A Male

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  • Veteran Member

How should a Muslim woman propose to a male, she is interested in??

Kindly plz explain it in an Islamic Way/Manner

Could any one explain about its method or ways in the Light of Islamic Teaching?

(salam)

from what i recall, and i may be wrong, khadija sent a invitation to prophet Muhammad (pbuh) i would suspect this would mean she asked someone to speak to him and tell him that she has asked if he was interesting in marrying her, please someone correct me if i am wrong.

(wasalam)

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(salam)

A good question which is not often asked. Women are free to accept or refuse some one's proposal similarly they have the right to propose some one in a decent manner. But this would be a bold step from her side which may not be liked and may be considered against the Islam (when it is not as it was done by Syeda Khadija (as)). I think the most appropriate method is to use a close relative for this purpose like may be cousin or some other relative. That person may indirectly ask the man about the marriage and i personally think the clear intention of woman should not be exposed to him.

Wallahu alam.

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How should a Muslim woman propose to a male, she is interested in??

Kindly plz explain it in an Islamic Way/Manner

Could any one explain about its method or ways in the Light of Islamic Teaching?

its very simple,

muslima : salam

moslim : ws

muslima : are you married ?

moslim : unfortunately not :dry:

muslima : cant we remove our UN ?

moslim :

Edited by khuram
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(salam)

Actually regarding bibi Khadija - She asked a MUTUAL person (who was a close friend/relative of the prophet) to go to the prophet and SUGGEST HIM to propose to her (and that she would be willing to offer support that he required at the time for his mission).

The name of this mutual person was, Nafisa bint Munyah, who was a close friend of Khadija (as) and also knew Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and his character well.

(Details of the event, and those of before the marriage took place, can be found here: Khadijatul Kubra; The Marriage)

wa (salam)

Basim Ali Jafri

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The fact that Khadijah proposed the Prophet through a mutual friend doesn't mean it is the only or optimal way for women. The only lesson from this example is that it is perfectly fine for women to propose men for marriage. How you go on about doing it will be dictated by the time and space you happen to be living in. If the preferred, culturally preferred that is, method for women is to find a middleman to make a proposal than so be it. But no one has the slightest bit of right to call names to a woman who, due to a different understanding of things, is brave and confident enough to tell a man that she likes/love him and that she wants to propose him for marriage. There is no 'most appropriate' method around trust me.

If things are simple, let's keep them simple.

Edited by Marbles
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Continued......

muslima : salam

moslim : ws

muslima : are you married ?

moslim : unfortunately not   :dry:

muslima :  cant we remove our UN ?

moslim : :freaks out: :wacko:

moslim: :deletes and blocks muslima from MSN/Yahoo/AIM/Facebook: :D

molima: :what a jerk!!!!:

Don't be so direct.... get help from someone you can trust. Send your proposal/intent through a friend.

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Continued......

muslima : salam

moslim : ws

muslima : are you married ?

moslim : unfortunately not   :dry:

muslima :  cant we remove our UN ?

moslim : :freaks out:   :wacko:

moslim: :deletes and blocks muslima from MSN/Yahoo/AIM/Facebook: :D

molima: :what a jerk!!!!:

Don't be so direct.... get help from someone you can trust. Send your proposal/intent through a friend.

muslima :  cant we remove our UN ?

moslim : really :wub: par Ami say poch kar bataonga

muslima: i didnt know that u r mama's boy , i better find someone else  :dry:

moslim : aray sono to  :cry: . . . 

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(salam)

This is merely an opinion.

Even though being direct is always a good approach, I am not entirely sure you need to be very direct when proposing to a man (or woman) especially when you do not know how this will be taken.

Too lessen the chances of being rejected, it is best to find out through mutual person or third party how the proposal will be received.

It is important to make sure none of the party will lose face.

Edited by Zareen
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(salam)

what if the man is too shy to say anything? and the woman likes him and wants to marry him? this is another good reason why a woman can propose.

(wasalam)

where does this creature live ?

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where does this creature live ?

(salam)

lol, i do not think i could be able to go up and ask a girl to marry me, it would take me months or a long time before getting away with the shyness to do that. and to get comfortable with knowing her. if i seen someone i considered to want to marry i would become extra shy. although Allah knows best how it would be. i once seen a girl i was interested in at the masjid, i could not even say "salam alaykom" for the first night lol. it took me a long time til i asked my friend about her to find out, it was a not possible one. but shyness really is around some men. i am sure there must be others. i would not mind it at all if i had one day, a woman walk up to me and say would you like to marry me, i would in fact praise Allah for it.

(wasalam)

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Ask your mum or some aunty to get you arranged marriage :P

(salam)

nah not possible for me, but a good idea for those who's moms and aunts are in islam deep. my mom is just getting into islam and starting out so she has not made many friends yet. i am a convert or revert brother ;)

(wasalam)

Edited by theunknownpreacher
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LOL@ above converstions, funny :P

A.s.A

On a serious note, I would suggest talk to your close relative, or a maulana at the mosque, so he may talk to the man you are interested in. I think it shouldn't be against Islam if it's done lawfully.

Good luck and have its good that you have some courage to make a proposal.

Jazakallah.

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muslima :  cant we remove our UN ?

moslim : really   :wub: par Ami say poch kar bataonga

muslima: i didnt know that u r mama's boy , i better find someone else   :dry:

moslim : aray sono to   :cry: . . . 

thoray dino baad

moslim : salam

muslima : ws , kia hay

moslim : wo maynay Ammi say poch leya

muslima : uff  :angel: , to kia kaha MOHTARMA nay ?

moslim : she saik k "usko kaam wam bhi aata hay ghar ka ya wo bhi khud he karogay ? :blush: "

muslima : ohh :mad: unsay kaho k apna bayta apnay pass rakhain , balkay simbhal kar rakhain 

moslim :

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  • 1 month later...
  • Advanced Member

Salam.

THE AQD OF NIKAH

The aqd for those who recite themselves:

FEMALE

I have done nikah with you on an agreed mahr.

MALE

I have accepted the nikah on the agreed mahr.

The aqd for the ‘wakeel’ (agent)

FOR THE FEMALE

I have given my client to your client in nikah on the agreed mahr

FOR THE MALE

I have accepted this nikah for my client on the agreed mahr

The thing is that at the times of marriage the woman is the proposer and the man is the acceptor. :angel: :wub: LOL

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  • 4 weeks later...
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After few months

moslim: salam

muslima : g unsure.gif

moslim: salam

muslima: ws

moslim : maynay soch liya hay !

muslima: kia ?

moslim : mujhay aapki sari shartayn manzoor hain wub.gif

muslima : Suneaaaay ! Zara daykhain to ye mohtaram kuch farma rahay hain . .. . realmad.gif

moslim: ohmy.gif aray ye kon araha hay

muslima: ye hamaray door k rishtaydar hain kehrahain k shadi may to aa nahi sakay ab dawat karna chahrahay hain

moslim: G ohmy.gif , g zaroor

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  • Advanced Member

ask ur local mowlana or muslim friends??

or go to a muslim marriage website?

(bismillah)

(salam)

Local mullani would be more proper. (Just possible local moulana may have other ideas)

Marriage websites do not give the proper picture, one can be taken for a ride.

Best to find out the other person's views through mutual acquaintances who are reliable.

ali

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(salam)

from what i recall, and i may be wrong, khadija sent a invitation to prophet Muhammad (pbuh) i would suspect this would mean she asked someone to speak to him and tell him that she has asked if he was interesting in marrying her, please someone correct me if i am wrong.

(wasalam)

Yes, it was Khadijah (SA) who asked RasulAllah (pbuh), the method I am not sure.

In our day and age the (proxy) chaperone is really an ideal,

I can't see why you can't just ask the person, it's for a halaal

matter anyways.

There is no prohibition on asking directly is there?

Was-Salaam

Haha. :lol: Men are supposed to propose, duh!

According to what jahilliyyah's unwritten rules?

Continued......

muslima : salam

moslim : ws

muslima : are you married ?

moslim : unfortunately not :dry:

muslima : cant we remove our UN ?

moslim : :freaks out: :wacko:

moslim: :deletes and blocks muslima from MSN/Yahoo/AIM/Facebook: :D

molima: :what a jerk!!!!:

Don't be so direct.... get help from someone you can trust. Send your proposal/intent through a friend.

You don't know the dynamic, you are assuming a common occurrence,

what if they know each other, like cousins as is common in our communities.

muslima : cant we remove our UN ?

moslim : really :wub: par Ami say poch kar bataonga

muslima: i didnt know that u r mama's boy , i better find someone else :dry:

moslim : aray sono to :cry: . . .

LOL!

By the way kebabs, if you remove the UN,

it will be "fortunately not" :lol:

Edited by JawzofDETH
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  • Advanced Member

How?

Maybe do something as radical as actually telling him as it is, that you respect the guy and want to know if he is at all interested to check whether it can go anywhere. Going via maybe a third party, or someoen who knows him. Last resort can be an old-school letter, signed by "anonymous" haha. Then he can leave a response at secret place if he's interested (which you would then go pick up at night)....romantic

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  • 1 year later...
  • Advanced Member

How should a Muslim woman propose to a male, she is interested in??

Kindly plz explain it in an Islamic Way/Manner

Could any one explain about its method or ways in the Light of Islamic Teaching?

Get either a parent, a relative, or a close friend to propose for you.

This is the formal way.

Edited by ShiaBen
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