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In the Name of God بسم الله

Need some help...

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Someone_1

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Salaams...

Well I am new to this forum...Actually i didnt know where to ask this question exept to my best friend so I though why not here..

Well..I am a Uni student and since this year there is a new student here who for months tried to get my attention but i wasnt really interested and ignored him for months...We never spoke or something but i just saw that, if you know what I mean. Anyway since a couple of weeks I saw him somewhere at uni and i dont know but somehow he had all my attentions..And from that day I started having feelings for him...Now I am not ignoring him anymore and yes I do look sometimes he started ignoring me..but the problem is he is like not seeing me anymore and im desperatly confused..He is Shia by the way...so do you guys change like that? or is it because i ignored him first..having guys replying would be awesome

My best friends said that I should leave it but I like this guy and dont know why he changed of all sudden..I mean how do guys think when they like a girl?

before anyone starts judging me I have never had a relationship of any kind with a guy..never..I dont want people lecturing me if what I did is good or wrong I just want your thoughs about him and the way he is acting..

Thanks and salams.

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No lecturing whatsoever.You're not doing any haraam.Its quite natural to have feelings like that but i dunno why he's ignoring ya?May be he's pretending to ignore ya or he's a flirtatious guy who might have developed his interest somewhere-else.Sometimes ya can't really get Wat the other person is thinking about ya so its better to make it very clear before developing affection for anybody.If he's avoiding ya then its better for ya to stop thinking about him 'coz he does sound like an egotist.

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Asalam Alaikum.

Well he seems to be a guy you wanted your attention. He I think realized that you are not giving it to him so he stopped trying.

Now since you noticed that he stopped trying, you are getting curious about him and thus are having feelings about him. That is like an 'emotional illusion' that happens.

In my opinion he is just a guy who was like "ugh...she is not paying attention to me, I'll just stop".

He might be taking revenge on you, if he is that type of a person. If he is a nice and simple guy by character than he might have just decided to move on and not really care about revenge and stuff.

Keep updating.

Take care.

Allah Hafiz.

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My best friends said that I should leave it but I like this guy and dont know why he changed of all sudden..I mean how do guys think when they like a girl?

Salam

Well there is many type of guy. Some are shy and will never go to a girl, and some (like me lol) will go directly and talk to the girls.

Maybe this guy had all your attention but it wasnt his intention , and when he noticed that you like him he decided to avoid you because simply he dont want a relation or he doenst wanna make promess to you.

That would be my reaction, it happened to me in the past.

Now that being said, i remember once, i girl ''liked'' me and i noticed it from the way she looked at me , we also had some discussion. But i was not ''interested'' to be with her in a relationship so after 2 week i spoke with that girl and explained her the situation and told her that i jus wanna be a friend not more. She was a litte sad, but she understand the point. And now we are good friend.

You know sometime friend from the opposite sex are very good.

So my advice is to move on :) its hard the first time but you will be ok dont worry.

If you have any question im here to help you

salam

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Salams

To be honest the thing that girls dont realise is we can be pretty sensitive you know :blush: Basically if you show an interest in a girl and really like her and she doesnt seem to pay that much attention then you automatically think "hmmm i dont think she likes me" and feel pretty [Edited Out] so instead you just ignore the girl. BUT heres the prob. If she is shy and you are shy, maybe she actually does like you but because you now ignore her she thinks that YOU also dont like her. Hope this is making sense LOL :!!!: So it can happen where the true feelings are both sides like each other, but both think the other doesnt like them.

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ooh, girl-boy issue, falling in love with first glance,.....

look deeper, and ask about him from his friends.... and we all change fast or slow and the change speed is dependant to the condition and causes o the changes, sometimes it is more important and useful to look at change causes

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Salams

To be honest the thing that girls dont realise is we can be pretty sensitive you know :blush: Basically if you show an interest in a girl and really like her and she doesnt seem to pay that much attention then you automatically think "hmmm i dont think she likes me" and feel pretty [Edited Out] so instead you just ignore the girl. BUT heres the prob. If she is shy and you are shy, maybe she actually does like you but because you now ignore her she thinks that YOU also dont like her. Hope this is making sense LOL :!!!: So it can happen where the true feelings are both sides like each other, but both think the other doesnt like them.

I think thats the case here too then lol..When he stopped ''looking'' everytime we saw eachother a friend of him looked, always the same guy, who is (i think) his best friend. They are always together. So his friend startes a lil bit and then says something to him :S

I never knew guys could be sensitive...I dont know why but i cant imagine how a guy could have feelings for a girl..

@Leb Cool..Lol the situation you described is not the same as mine here..Women know when a man stares at them and wants their attention so its not my imagination :P

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Salaams...

Well I am new to this forum...Actually i didnt know where to ask this question exept to my best friend so I though why not here..

Well..I am a Uni student and since this year there is a new student here who for months tried to get my attention but i wasnt really interested and ignored him for months...We never spoke or something but i just saw that, if you know what I mean. Anyway since a couple of weeks I saw him somewhere at uni and i dont know but somehow he had all my attentions..And from that day I started having feelings for him...Now I am not ignoring him anymore and yes I do look sometimes he started ignoring me..but the problem is he is like not seeing me anymore and im desperatly confused..He is Shia by the way...so do you guys change like that? or is it because i ignored him first..having guys replying would be awesome

My best friends said that I should leave it but I like this guy and dont know why he changed of all sudden..I mean how do guys think when they like a girl?

before anyone starts judging me I have never had a relationship of any kind with a guy..never..I dont want people lecturing me if what I did is good or wrong I just want your thoughs about him and the way he is acting..

Thanks and salams.

Sallam!

In your case two possiblites are normally common.

1. Most of serious boys think, if you love or like someone give her much importance and care, if she is ignoring or trying to stay away from you just leave her, when she will come back to you, then she will be always yours and will never leave or ignore you.

But this is the concept of serious boys not flirters. Lol

2. Second is may be he thinking from your behavior of ignoring him, that you are either engaged or already in love with some one else. Thats why he got fedup and left his struggles.

Here i would like to give you 1 advice. You dont know that guy closly, dont know about his attitude, his behavior, and you also dont know that he realy loves you ar just wanted friendship with you to kill time, so it will be better for you not to show him your intrest. This will increase respect and love for you in his heart if he is realy sreious in you. Normally such cases are not in the favour of girls. So be becareful. Thanks and Allah NIGHEBAN

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Sallam!

In your case two possiblites are normally common.

1. Most of serious boys think, if you love or like someone give her much importance and care, if she is ignoring or trying to stay away from you just leave her, when she will come back to you, then she will be always yours and will never leave or ignore you.

But this is the concept of serious boys not flirters. Lol

2. Second is may be he thinking from your behavior of ignoring him, that you are either engaged or already in love with some one else. Thats why he got fedup and left his struggles.

Here i would like to give you 1 advice. You dont know that guy closly, dont know about his attitude, his behavior, and you also dont know that he realy loves you ar just wanted friendship with you to kill time, so it will be better for you not to show him your intrest. This will increase respect and love for you in his heart if he is realy sreious in you. Normally such cases are not in the favour of girls. So be becareful. Thanks and Allah NIGHEBAN

Thank you for the advice, I was thinking about ignoring him so thank you again :)

But so what if he is ''shy'' and I keep ignoring him? Isnt that demotivating for him to take action? And are there man who ignore the girl sometimes just because they are shy?

Maaaaaan, you guys are so complicated :P

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Sallam!

In your case two possiblites are normally common.

1. Most of serious boys think, if you love or like someone give her much importance and care, if she is ignoring or trying to stay away from you just leave her, when she will come back to you, then she will be always yours and will never leave or ignore you.

But this is the concept of serious boys not flirters. Lol

2. Second is may be he thinking from your behavior of ignoring him, that you are either engaged or already in love with some one else. Thats why he got fedup and left his struggles.

Here i would like to give you 1 advice. You dont know that guy closly, dont know about his attitude, his behavior, and you also dont know that he realy loves you ar just wanted friendship with you to kill time, so it will be better for you not to show him your intrest. This will increase respect and love for you in his heart if he is realy sreious in you. Normally such cases are not in the favour of girls. So be becareful. Thanks and Allah NIGHEBAN

I was going to say something along those lines..

Maaaaaan, you guys are so complicated :P

Tell me about it! w00t.gif

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I saw him today..I was walking with my best friend and we saw him..I never look into his eyes and try not to look to him but my best friend said that he looked and smiled..thats a good sign right?

Sister! if he realy loves you, he will must try to approch you through your friends bt if he realy loves u, i mean true love. Because for real sincere guy it is not possible to throw away all his efforts so quickly, for true and sincere guy its too hard to live without or forget his love.

But if he wanted you just for friendship and time killing, he will not come to your friends.

Its my personal experience sister, believe me. I have seen 2 many flurters and very very few sincere guys. Even if he is shia, it doesnt mean that he will must be sincere. Further if you have some more questions about guys attitude and behavior, i can help you. Thanks

Your brother

Raza

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Sister! if he realy loves you, he will must try to approch you through your friends bt if he realy loves u, i mean true love. Because for real sincere guy it is not possible to throw away all his efforts so quickly, for true and sincere guy its too hard to live without or forget his love.

But if he wanted you just for friendship and time killing, he will not come to your friends.

Its my personal experience sister, believe me. I have seen 2 many flurters and very very few sincere guys. Even if he is shia, it doesnt mean that he will must be sincere. Further if you have some more questions about guys attitude and behavior, i can help you. Thanks

Your brother

Raza

You are right. I should stop thinking about it and see if he takes action..If he doesnt, everything will be clear...Thank you :)

But what about the smile? I know there is something because i notice that he changes when we see eachother but I am not sure if he feels the same way.

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You are right. I should stop thinking about it and see if he takes action..If he doesnt, everything will be clear...Thank you :)

But what about the smile? I know there is something because i notice that he changes when we see eachother but I am not sure if he feels the same way.

Nothing forbids you from taking the first step and talking to him you know?

Remember it was Khadijah who first thought about marrying the Prophet, who first took action and sent him a marriage proposal. Muhammad did not do anything or show signs of interest beforehand.

So if you truely like him and he's too shy to even do anything, why don't you go to him and get to know him ?

" He doesn't take action, same for me then! " is not gonna help you.

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You are right. I should stop thinking about it and see if he takes action..If he doesnt, everything will be clear...Thank you :)

But what about the smile? I know there is something because i notice that he changes when we see eachother but I am not sure if he feels the same way.

Oh my GOD! Sister you are so innocent. Never believe/trust in boys smiles. Always smiles of flurters are more attractive than sincere ones. You dont know boys attitude, I am not sure about him but i have passed uni life, i know each n everything. You will shock to know this that in uni more than 95% guys try to catch girls just for time pass, Even many of my shia friends did like this and even doing now. I think you are mature girl, you should think about this.

1 thing more i want to tell you, which is very very common, if in case he will try to approach you through your friends, you should ask him 1 question that if you are intrested in me and want to marry me just send your mom to my home, then you will see his face, and even then you can guess how sincere he is. If he is realy sincere his face will glow up due to happiness, if not then he will say ok i will tel to my mom, i will try, yes but not now, etc etc. So becareful sister. All these are my personal experiences and i have seen such type of many cases. I am telling you all these to protect you just like my own sister from flurters. Some time i will tell you attitude of real sincere boys or real true lovers. Now best of luck and take care.

Yours brother

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Nothing forbids you from taking the first step and talking to him you know?

Remember it was Khadijah who first thought about marrying the Prophet, who first took action and sent him a marriage proposal. Muhammad did not do anything or show signs of interest beforehand.

So if you truely like him and he's too shy to even do anything, why don't you go to him and get to know him ?

" He doesn't take action, same for me then! " is not gonna help you.

Oh miss naro or whatever! Why you are putting her on a wrong way, she is so innocent, she doesnt knows any thing about guys character, and please for GOD sake dont give example of our beloved PROPHET MUHAMMED (S.A.W.W), HE was and is Maasoom, you should know this, here is the case of sincere and flurt, you are saying that our sister should go and talk to him to damage her image and respect, i cant understand what the hell you are saying, i dont know you are giving her advise and want to throw her in hell, unbearable, you are making me crazy. OH GOD, show the right way to all girls. I dont know how can iexpress my anger. Just ssshhhuuttt uuupppp! :angry:

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salaam

it depends on what u want... if u r looking to get married, i'd say just leave it. if u don't know each other very well and don't have much of a relationship, it's just a crush, and u don't even know what he's like on the inside. there's plenty of other guys out there and u'll forget him soon enough. he sounds like he's not mature enough for the commitment of marriage anyway if he's just looking and smiling and then the other day his attention is somewhere else. maybe he doesn't really have a reason for what he's doing and he's just acting natural and this is what comes out.

it's better not to waste time and to save ur energy for someone who is ready for a committed relationship and who says that is what he is looking for.

it's not enough for him to like u, there are tons of guys who probably like u but they aren't ready for commitment.

otherwise u'll just get a headache!

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Oh miss naro or whatever! Why you are putting her on a wrong way, she is so innocent, she doesnt knows any thing about guys character, and please for GOD sake dont give example of our beloved PROPHET MUHAMMED (S.A.W.W), HE was and is Maasoom, you should know this, here is the case of sincere and flurt, you are saying that our sister should go and talk to him to damage her image and respect, i cant understand what the hell you are saying, i dont know you are giving her advise and want to throw her in hell, unbearable, you are making me crazy. OH GOD, show the right way to all girls. I dont know how can iexpress my anger. Just ssshhhuuttt uuupppp! :angry:

seriously, i have to agree with this one

nero, first of all hazrat khadijah was in her 40's, not a girl at college or uni

second, she didn't just go up to him and 'get to know him', she sent someone with a marriage proposal. she said basically "i am interestd in a committed responsible relationshp, are you?"

it wasn't just about liking, it was about commitment and responsibility. there are a lot of college-age guys who would love to have a girlfriend but aren't ready for commitment and u know that i'm sure

there is a lot of wisdom in islamic morality and having the family or other involved in marriage.

of course it's not haram to get to know him but he might take that the wrong way too.

and as was said, if he is seriously interested in something serious, he'd let her know. and if he's too shy to let her know or have anyone else approach her... well maybe he's not ready for all the challenges of a committed responsible marriage!

I never knew guys could be sensitive...I dont know why but i cant imagine how a guy could have feelings for a girl..

imho, guys are more sensitive than women!!

(sorry guys :) )

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I saw him today..I was walking with my best friend and we saw him..I never look into his eyes and try not to look to him but my best friend said that he looked and smiled..thats a good sign right?

(salam)

Not to discourage you but a smile doesn't really say anything. He might have given the exact smile to many other girls or boys.The real question is, are both of you ready for a long term commitment. If yes, then there should be a way to find out if both of you are suitable for each other.

If you guys are not ready, then why even go there. Just focus on something else and pray for a spouse in the future.

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@Naro. I would never go to him myself and take the first step. In his dreams. I never did it before and will never do it. I think the man has to take the first step.

Thank you Raza Amir and everyone else for the advice. I will take it, I will try not to think about it and ingore him. if he takes action it will be khair if he doesnt then so be it :)

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So lets say this guy im talking baout notices my attention..

What would you guys do if you notice a girl you like/liked looks/wants your attenions?

Hhhmmmm good question! How can i explain this! Okay, most of the guys just think about friendship when they noticed girls attentions, then they think about dates, then try to come close to kiss, etc etc, and finally finish the relation and find another. I swear i am telling u the true and real nature of boys. Sister you are new in this field so thats why i want to keep you stay away from such things, i swear you will suffer later. And the guy about whome you are talking, he is new in university, he is not mature, he can never accept you 4 ever, if you are thinking that i am hurting u or discourage you, then you can try, you will see the end very soon.

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Hate to break it to yah, but most boys are like the bro mentioned above, I personally wouldnt get into the gf/bf business untill after im almost done with uni and looking for a job so that you have more stability etc.

What would you guys do if you notice a girl you like/liked looks/wants your attenions?

I normally give some attention back to the person.. or just keep away.. trust me, you don't want to be in the gossip business :angel:

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Hhhmmmm good question! How can i explain this! Okay, most of the guys just think about friendship when they noticed girls attentions, then they think about dates, then try to come close to kiss, etc etc, and finally finish the relation and find another. I swear i am telling u the true and real nature of boys. Sister you are new in this field so thats why i want to keep you stay away from such things, i swear you will suffer later. And the guy about whome you are talking, he is new in university, he is not mature, he can never accept you 4 ever, if you are thinking that i am hurting u or discourage you, then you can try, you will see the end very soon.

I am not stupid. I have feelings for him but I would never have a relationship with him. I would never go so far, I cant even look him in the eyes let alone get myself so low to speak to him. And like you said, if he is really interested ill tell him to come and bring his parents to see if he is serious. Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. We will see what happens, Allah Kareem :)

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I am not stupid. I have feelings for him but I would never have a relationship with him. I would never go so far, I cant even look him in the eyes let alone get myself so low to speak to him. And like you said, if he is really interested ill tell him to come and bring his parents to see if he is serious.

Thats the right approach. Through his perents, as you dont know what their parents have in store for him for his future. So do not waste your time, thinking much on this issue. Wait and watch and try to divert your attention to study Deen and how to reply to the comments of anti- shia ideology. It will help and you will like it.

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you are saying that our sister should go and talk to him to damage her image and respect, i cant understand what the hell you are saying, i dont know you are giving her advise and want to throw her in hell, unbearable, you are making me crazy. OH GOD, show the right way to all girls. I dont know how can iexpress my anger. Just ssshhhuuttt uuupppp! :angry:

hahaha you're so funny, what are you, some kind of guy that thinks his own image and body becomes completely dirty when he talks to a girl or something

I bet you never talk to girls directly and have to ask someone to deliver a message everytime for you.

oh god oh god you're so angry when you see a girl go talk to a guy oh god they re all going to hell for sure

truely a pathetic but unfortunately a cultural behavior in many muslim countries.

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hahaha you're so funny, what are you, some kind of guy that thinks his own image and body becomes completely dirty when he talks to a girl or something

I bet you never talk to girls directly and have to ask someone to deliver a message everytime for you.

oh god oh god you're so angry when you see a girl go talk to a guy oh god they re all going to hell for sure

truely a pathetic but unfortunately a cultural behavior in many muslim countries.

MIss naro i think you are not living in pakistan, for your kind information to be a muslim you should follow the rules of islam, dont compare it with modernsim. You people forget the message of islam, so it is better for you to shut your mouth.

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MIss naro i think you are not living in pakistan, for your kind information to be a muslim you should follow the rules of islam, dont compare it with modernsim. You people forget the message of islam, so it is better for you to shut your mouth.

Sooo, you live in Pakistan?

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No, I live in Europe and I am Arabic...What made you think Im Pakistani?

Oh so you are not Pakistani. Even I dont know why i was feeling that you are from Pakistan. Anyhow, whatever every where boys character is almost same, so its my responsibility, as a shia and as a brother i have to guide/show you the right way and to give you advice to stay away from such stuff. Realy i am extremist about the respect and value of shia girls. I swear to GOD i cant bear miss use or flirt with my sisters. And i dont know why now-a-days most of shia girls are very very modern and doesn't care about their respect. Why they don't understand that they are the most valuable and most precious. Realy this makes me crazy. So dear sis i also dont know that why i was thinking that you are pakistani. Even for an instance i was feeling that you are a girl from my own university. Ok sis, just take care and also try to give advice to other shia girls to stay away from flirters. its your duty as a true muslim and true shia. Thanks

Your Brother

Raza

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Oh so you are not Pakistani. Even I dont know why i was feeling that you are from Pakistan. Anyhow, whatever every where boys character is almost same, so its my responsibility, as a shia and as a brother i have to guide/show you the right way and to give you advice to stay away from such stuff. Realy i am extremist about the respect and value of shia girls. I swear to GOD i cant bear miss use or flirt with my sisters. And i dont know why now-a-days most of shia girls are very very modern and doesn't care about their respect. Why they don't understand that they are the most valuable and most precious. Realy this makes me crazy. So dear sis i also dont know that why i was thinking that you are pakistani. Even for an instance i was feeling that you are a girl from my own university. Ok sis, just take care and also try to give advice to other shia girls to stay away from flirters. its your duty as a true muslim and true shia. Thanks

Your Brother

Raza

Lol brother dont worry. Just because girls have feelings for guys doesnt mean they are ''modern'' and dont care about their respect. Its nice to show how you care for your shia sisters :)

Anyway just because he stares doesnt mean he is a flirter. I know he is not and time will tell InshAllah. Brother dont worry, living in the west doesnt mean we forgot our religion, culture or respect. Nor does love let us forgot them.

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