Are Non-Segregated Weddings Haram?

[w.b.]

Salaam,

I was just wondering, if non-segregated weddings are haram? If the bride is wearing a hijab and no makeup, and the reception is set where families sit together, but there are separate areas where food can be taken for men and women... is there anything haram about that?

Thank you

[Guest Zahratul_Islam]

Salaam,

I was just wondering, if non-segregated weddings are haram? If the bride is wearing a hijab and no makeup, and the reception is set where families sit together, but there are separate areas where food can be taken for men and women... is there anything haram about that?

Thank you

erm.. why wouldn't that be halal?

[Marbles]

Salaam,

I was just wondering, if non-segregated weddings are haram? If the bride is wearing a hijab and no makeup, and the reception is set where families sit together, but there are separate areas where food can be taken for men and women... is there anything haram about that?

Thank you

Do you see anything haram about that?

[lion]

NO , is existing haram?

[w.b.]

But will it be haram, if some of the guests come to the wedding, dressed in a manner that is not Islamic. And if certain guys notice them and look at them, will the sin be on the host of the wedding for not segregating the reception to begin with? and wouldn't it be the same situation as to why the Prophet separated the doors to the mosque for men and women?

[Gypsy]

(salam)

I am unsure what the answer is. I would suggest referring to an Islamic scholar.

There are also other situations. What if you already segregated the wedding but few individuals decided they wanna "mix" around. And how do you control what others would be wearing? :unsure:

[Calm]

I don't think it's haram in itself however I find a segregated wedding more comfy and fun for the bride and her guests...I mean dressing loose on her wedding? No make up on her wedding? No dancing on her wedding? Even if it was 100% halaal to have a mix wedding I would definitely chose the segregated one even if it costs more! Having said that, I have attended a few Islamic mix weddings, they were OK...

Edited December 17, 2009 by Calm

[Maryaam]

I don't think it's haram in itself however I find a segregated wedding more comfy and fun for the bride and her guests...I mean dressing loose on her wedding? No make up on her wedding? No dancing on her wedding? Even if it was 100% halaal to have a mix wedding I would definitely chose the segregated one even if it costs more! Having said that, I have attended a few Islamic mix weddings, they were OK...

I dont know about non segregated weddings being outright haram - there are too many variables to lump them all together like that. Having said that I, like Calm, have been to both, and hands down the segregated wedding is the absolutely the most FUN for women. I dont think the men have much fun though - I think they just eat...

[Marbles]

I dont know about non segregated weddings being outright haram - there are too many variables to lump them all together like that. Having said that I, like Calm, have been to both, and hands down the segregated wedding is the absolutely the most FUN for women. I dont think the men have much fun though - I think they just eat...

:lol:

What do you expect us to do? Like you folks wear tight clothes and walk around showing off to aunties and cousins expecting them to praise the hell out of your beautiful and very very expensive dress? I crack when women compliment each other on their make ups. LOL You hide your real face under layers of stuff and here is Salma telling Sarah. "Oh you are looking sooo pretty tonight". You couldn't make it up lol. As for dance, there is no fun if you have no female to dance with. I don't understand why you folks even bother working so hard on yourself in segregated marriages.

We have important matters in the world to sort out. We are busy discussing foreign policy, business mergers, cricket matches, latest model cars and talk about driving them, and then there are always a few items who peeks into the men area. SO MUCH FUN.

Edited December 17, 2009 by Marbles

[baradar_jackson]

We have important matters in the world to sort out. We are busy discussing foreign policy, business mergers, cricket matches, latest model cars and talk about driving them, and then there are always a few items who peeks into the men area. SO MUCH FUN.

Foreign policy? Yes

The rest? naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

I don't know anybody who conducts actual business.

Nobody outside of Pakistan cares about cricket.

My family owns [Edited Out] Iranian cars like Peykan and Samand, it's not very fun to talk about driving them.

And yes Maryaam, weddings are very boring. As for the food: it is seemingly infinite but somehow I never get full. That makes me very angry.

[Marbles]

Foreign policy? Yes

The rest? naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

I don't know anybody who conducts actual business.

Nobody outside of Pakistan cares about cricket.

My family owns [Edited Out] Iranian cars like Peykan and Samand, it's not very fun to talk about driving them.

LOL baradaram. Middle Easterners are dumb about Cricket. I don't blame them. They have never tasted the joys of Imperial Britain. Cricket is the most widespread game such that it is played in every single continent except on glaciers.

Peykan and Samand :sick: I was talking about Audis and Mercs.

And yes Maryaam, weddings are very boring. As for the food: it is seemingly infinite but somehow I never get full. That makes me very angry.

Seemingly infinite wow man. . .and we in Pakistan endured a ban on wedding dinners for around, what ....ummm, ...I think 5 or so years. They have eased it now. These days we have one-dish-party style wedding dinners. This is better than no food. I used to take my own foodbox to weddings. :(

Edited December 17, 2009 by Marbles

[Shia & Proud]

I dont think the men have much fun though - I think they just eat...

That is fun. :dry:

Edited December 17, 2009 by Shia & Proud

[_jen_]

But will it be haram, if some of the guests come to the wedding, dressed in a manner that is not Islamic. And if certain guys notice them and look at them, will the sin be on the host of the wedding for not segregating the reception to begin with? and wouldn't it be the same situation as to why the Prophet separated the doors to the mosque for men and women?

Lol, i dont understand why u'd be so worried. Its just ONE day in ur life. So why not just have it mixed, enjoy urself.....and if you are still worried then repent afterwards....i mean it highly unlikely u will drop dead during the wedding so u'll have time to repent.

[w.b.]

Lol, i dont understand why u'd be so worried. Its just ONE day in ur life. So why not just have it mixed, enjoy urself.....and if you are still worried then repent afterwards....i mean it highly unlikely u will drop dead during the wedding so u'll have time to repent.

If it is unlikely that I will drop dead during the wedding, it does not mean it is impossible. Although that is not the point. You should try to prevent sin, not just look forward to repenting afterwards.

My point for asking the question was just to get educated on the matter in term of what is haram and halal. I was not particularly looking for people to advise me as to what I should or shouldn't do.

Thanks for those who replied :) Looking forward to more fiqh relating to this topic.

[baradar_jackson]

LOL baradaram. Middle Easterners are dumb about Cricket. I don't blame them. They have never tasted the joys of Imperial Britain. Cricket is the most widespread game such that it is played in every single continent except on glaciers.

"Joys" of Imperial Britian? :squeez: :dry:

Peykan and Samand :sick: I was talking about Audis and Mercs.

Hey... stop making fun of Iranian cars. :cry:

Seemingly infinite wow man. . .and we in Pakistan endured a ban on wedding dinners for around, what ....ummm, ...I think 5 or so years. They have eased it now. These days we have one-dish-party style wedding dinners. This is better than no food. I used to take my own foodbox to weddings. :(

Wait what? Are you serious? Why would they do that?

[Marbles]

"Joys" of Imperial Britian? :squeez: :dry:

I know LOL. Cricket is a beautiful gift of Imperial Britain - the only thing I like about it :D

Hey... stop making fun of Iranian cars. :cry:

Aw lol. But they aren't so bad especially when you have nothing to drive except donkey carts. :P

Wait what? Are you serious? Why would they do that?

I'm 101% serious man. We had a ban on wedding dinners for years. We are still restricted to one dish. It apparently saves a lot of money to the economy. Back then our premier popped on television screens and advised the nation to drink only half filled cup of tea. His exchequer told him that it would also save revenues. You couldn't make it up LOL.

Edited December 17, 2009 by Marbles

[Envir-Islam]

I do not believe that a non-segregated one is haram. I have been to several weddings and engagement parties. I have also attended both types... I have come to a conclusion as no. If the bride is no wear no make up and all I do not believe so. I have been to it wear the bride wears loads of make up. Even then apparently is was ok. I do not know… I have also been told that music during weddings is fine… I do not personally think so. I just think that classical and molid is fine and the others are no, but this is just my personal opinion.

Thank you,

Drema

[BabyBeaverIsAKit]

I don't think mixed weddings are inherently haraam. If the hosts attempt to keep it as Islamic as possible on their end, that is fine. I don't think they are held liable for their guests' actions. I think it would help our community to have more mixed Islamic weddings, because that would give people more opportunities to find spouses.

[Envir-Islam]

I don't think mixed weddings are inherently haraam. If the hosts attempt to keep it as Islamic as possible on their end, that is fine. I don't think they are held liable for their guests' actions. I think it would help our community to have more mixed Islamic weddings, because that would give people more opportunities to find spouses.

I agree with that. It gives people chances to see others and ask about them... It is fun also to see others.

[Haji 2003]

I think it would help our community to have more mixed Islamic weddings, because that would give people more opportunities to find spouses.

That's what Muharram majalis are for.

Plus any moral degenerate can turn up to a wedding, but if you see someone regularly coming to majalis, then at least they tick some religious observation boxes.

[Laraib]

^ eh... a lot of the times those are the only times people show up at a mosque though. A few days in Muharram and apparently religious obligations are set for the rest of the islamic year. Prayer? Fasts?

"Nah man... I went to the Chehlum majlis" ....

As for the OP- You can't control the actions of your guests if you do the best to keep an islamic environment, your duty is done :) (Although segregated weddings ARE more fun!)

[Haji 2003]

^ eh... a lot of the times those are the only times people show up at a mosque though. A few days in Muharram and apparently religious obligations are set for the rest of the islamic year. Prayer? Fasts?

"Nah man... I went to the Chehlum majlis" ....

That's why I took care to say, some religious observation boxes are ticked. Also if a Shia steadfastly does NOT turn up to majalis, it is unlikely IMHO that they'll be praying and fasting! Plus girls who take part in observances and rituals are also more likely to do the same in their own households when they are married.

[monsieur]

something to say:

1- islamic fiqh, is not something about my feelings or believes, it is a knowledge with its own regulations.

2- conditions as of those times of Rasul Allah sawa is totally diffrent from as of ours, so u can't say if Rasul Allah did so, unless is a sin....

3- It is a very complicated question, and what is the porpuse of this question? what is the pratical usage of the answer? reply me and i will reply u... the question needs much more clarification before getting a precise answer!

[ananda.zahra]

we in Pakistan endured a ban on wedding dinners for around, what ....ummm, ...I think 5 or so years. They have eased it now. These days we have one-dish-party style wedding dinners. This is better than no food. I used to take my own foodbox to weddings. :(

[Haji 2003]

chuckle.. ban on wedding dinner? thats something.. i thought our facebook ban is the funniest rules ever

That ban was quite reasonable IMHO.

Pakis have this hang-up about needing to maintain *face* (nothing to do with religion BTW), so during weddings people *have* to provide elaborate meals. This had two repercussions, less well off people would fall into debt or have their savings demolished, society as whole would suffer because the price of basics would be artificially high due to demand from people buying for weddings (which is a big industry).

The ban was good since it gave people an excuse for not providing such meals. There were ways and means around it, but I do know of grooms etc. being carted off to the police station. Perhaps the one dish compromise will work. But underlying all of this is an important social malaise, one that means that people with daughters find it difficult to marry them off, people delay marriages etc. The more ways in which this is addressed, the better.

[Marbles]

That ban was quite reasonable IMHO.

Pakis have this hang-up about needing to maintain *face* (nothing to do with religion BTW), so during weddings people *have* to provide elaborate meals. This had two repercussions, less well off people would fall into debt or have their savings demolished, society as whole would suffer because the price of basics would be artificially high due to demand from people buying for weddings (which is a big industry).

The ban was good since it gave people an excuse for not providing such meals. There were ways and means around it, but I do know of grooms etc. being carted off to the police station. Perhaps the one dish compromise will work. But underlying all of this is an important social malaise, one that means that people with daughters find it difficult to marry them off, people delay marriages etc. The more ways in which this is addressed, the better.

Exactly. The ban did a lot of good to the less well off of the society. Rich families who could afford massive dinners usually commanded enough influence with the law enforcement/police to circumvent the ban and organise secret multi-dish dinners at their weddings. This continued even when the ban was enforced very strictly.

The other reason for the ban was that it would save money for the ailing economy. It also brought down the prices of basmati [rice] and banaspati [cooking oil]. Chicken and other meat went down to almost half of pre-ban prices, which was all good.

Some women activists proposed a ban on dowry. I wondered how it would be implemented. :unsure:

[ananda.zahra]

, less well off people would fall into debt or have their savings demolished, society as whole would suffer because the price of basics would be artificially high due to demand from people buying for weddings (which is a big industry).

But underlying all of this is an important social malaise, one that means that people with daughters find it difficult to marry them off, people delay marriages etc. The more ways in which this is addressed, the better.

:o is that so? i didnt know about that.. i wonder how elaborate the dinner are...

but on second thought, i just remember that here in my country its happen too (delaying wedding because of money, n falling to debt etc). hmm

[Haji 2003]

:o is that so? i didnt know about that.. i wonder how elaborate the dinner are...

We are not talking about quail's eggs, pâté de foie gras and caviar, if you were wondering. It's the sort of food you would get at an Indian restaurant, pilau rice, with mutton, chicken korma, tandoori naan bread, nothing spectacularly expensive. More exotic weddings may even have fusion Desi/Chinese, with the emphasis on the Desi, rather than the Chinese.

What bumps up the bill are the sheer number of guests, hundreds. Bear in mind if anyone is left off the guest list, this can be a big social faux pas, with possibilities for family enmity continuing for some generations. Also the food is not served by waiters, it is buffet style i.e. eat as much as you can...which most people tend to take literally. If the food runs out that's also not seen as reflecting well on the hosts.

Though I have heard that some tight-fisted people tell the caterers to either use a lot of oil and/or chillis in the cooking, thus reducing the amount anyone is able to eat.

I've seen a lot of wastage at the end of weddings, and hoped that perhaps they give it away to the poor.

Edited January 2, 2010 by Haji 2003

[Musa]

Salaam,

I was just wondering, if non-segregated weddings are haram? If the bride is wearing a hijab and no makeup, and the reception is set where families sit together, but there are separate areas where food can be taken for men and women... is there anything haram about that?

Thank you

Basically what you have to do is try to make sure as much as possible that nothing haram goes on. When you hold a gathering like a meeting, wedding, etc... everything is on you. Say on your wedding card hijab is mandatory, and try to assign seats by family so people dont intermingle in haram ways. If you do choose to have a separate wedding i would still recommend the women having their hijab on, as there are sisters who

take pictures of everyone and dont really care if a non mehram sees the picture.