"Mum, Im a Muslim, But please dont kick me out!"

[MissShiaMuslim]

Assalam 3laikum wr wb

Im a revert to Islam since April08, alhumdulilah, my parents know of my interest, and i told my mum i wanted to become a Muslim, but they have totally ignored all of it. They have seen me in abaya and Hijab,helped me get to and from the mosque, but i have a feeling that if i go for it "full time" that i wouldnt have a home anymore.

Im scared of losing my family, scared of not having a home to go to.

Any advice on this?

im 18, and i dont have a job.. so i wouldnt have any money to support me. There is a job opportunity, but im waiting for to get back to me, so im not totally "bumming" around haha.

Please, any advice?

JazakAllah Kheir

Salams

[Gypsy]

(salam)

Please hide your faith until the time that you can become independent and has a mean to support yourself.

[baradar_jackson]

(salam)

Please hide your faith until the time that you can become independent and has a mean to support yourself.

That would be hard to do, considering that she wears her faith on her head

[BintAlHoda]

Salam

I think you will be in a better position to discuss this with your family if you are in a position of strength (for instance, you can support yourself). Otherwise when you are dependent or in need, you are more limited in what you can say, and also people look at a person who is independent differently than a person who is dependent. So it is good to make wise decisions in this regard.

BTW it doesnt sound like she is wearing hijab at this time so perhaps the faith is not 'on her head'

[MissShiaMuslim]

No, i dont wear Hijab yet, but i pray to Allah that i could!

Everytime i go to pray my prayers, my family knock on my door, and i have to restart them over and over. But atleast I'm attempting them. They know I go to Ashura, and have seen me in full BLACK abaya and Hijab. Which is probably not the image they want to see their daughter, their reaciton was "this is not our daughter, who are you?", it hurt to hear that. But once i got out of the house, i was happy, because to walk the street with the abaya and hijab, was magnificent subhanAllah the feeling.

I'm just hoping Allah gives me more strength.

My friend is thinking about moving out around April/May, and she said i can go with her if i like, shes a revert of 6 years mashaAllah. By then, I should have a full-time job inshaAllah.

All i can say is InshaAllah! Im still hoping everyday, that I get to where I want to be, but im taking things day by day, as tomorrow isnt promised, and I do the most I can do in that day.

thanks so much for your replies!

Sis. Emma

[gogiison2]

imam al asr madad

bismillah

WA wr wb..

tell your parents that you may want to dress like the nuns and always carry a bible around and make a 'friend' who can act like she is a religious christian as well. i don't know, sorry i dont have any better advice but iA you'll get rewarded for your struggles to seek nearness to Allah. try your best to always have a plan B.

Edited December 15, 2009 by gogiison2

[Shabbar-E-Shabbir]

I admire you for your struggles, and I also pray for you that you are successful in your struggle, as you will be. InshAllah ^_^ :D :)

[Z.M]

just act like a neautral Muslim, don't let them know you do Ashura or see you in full Islamic dress. You must understand there point of view, and all the media attack on muslims you can't really blame them for being uncomfortable. It's gonna take alot of time for them to adjust, so just show them how nice Islam is by being 10X more respectful to them then you usually are, quit any bad or old habits they don't like.

Maybe telling them islam beleives in 1 God and we love jesus and even beleive he will come at the end of time with Imam Medhi, to restore justice (keep out the Imam Mehdi) lol.....

Good luck sister, this isn't an easy journey.

[Sehnsucht]

Salaams sis... my prayers and thoughts are with you. Jazak'Allah khair at your courage and perseverence in the face of tough odds. :wub:

I think you should follow Islam to the best of your ability right now, within whatever boundaries your parents would be comfortable with- even if that means you don't get to practice as openly and entirely as you'd like. Allahu 'alim, but under the circumstances, it seems like you may have legit grounds for doing taqiyyah. God loves those who struggle in His way, and He knows our burdens and our challenges better than we ourselves do; He is oft-forgiving and would not expect more of you than you are capable of... insh'Allah He will make the path clear and easy. Just give it time and worship within your current means, and God willing you'll be able to secure your religious independence more completely when the time is right- moving out with your revert friend may be precisely what you need.

Also, I don't know if it'll feel entirely relevant, but scroll down to the section called 'Secrecy':

http://www.al-islam.org/LWM/tabatabai_4.htm

Best of luck, sis. :) If you need support or encouragement, please feel free to ask.

[Qa'im]

(salam)

May Allah reward you on your reversion.

Try to take some slow steps towards this. I think what may be best is if you sit down with one of your parents and tell them you're a Muslim. Take them out to dinner and have a talk about it with your mother or father (usually talking to one at a time is better than both at the same time). If you can show them that this faith has made you a better person, and clear up any misconceptions they have of Islam, they may end up accepting this fact. Remember that if you and your parents live a normal life, they will continue to be a big part of your life for decades to come insha'Allah.

And of course surround yourself with fellow Muslim friends to support you through this. A lot of people here are reverts of sorts as well, so be sure to ask for help when you need it.

[MissShiaMuslim]

Thank you so everyone for your responses, they all make a lot of sence to me, and really are helpful.

Just wanted to add, I've been a Muslim year and a half, maybe a little more, and i just want burst out with it, but i know it will hurt my family, so i try not to be selfish.

I put myself in their shoes, and i totally understand.

I sometimes think of my brother coming over with a Hindu dot on his head saying hes a hindu now, I'd laugh and tell him to stop following others and wake up. So i kind of understand their view point.

I love my parents very much, they are my world <3 Im very close with my mum, she was the one i spoke to about me becoming close to Islam.

Im very shy when i talk about Islam to my family, as they poke fun at me and say racist comments a lot.

My mum told me she understands that Islam is close to Christianity, but she doesnt believe fully into christianity, she believes in a God... kind of... but "christianity" is more ofa tradtion to the family, no religious aspects behind it at all. So that makes it harder, They have no believe at all!

inshaAllah ya Rabb this gets better for me. inshaAllah ya Rabb i become who i am to become in the near future!

JazakAllah for ALLL your responses! Deeply appreciated.

[Bonafide Hustler]

What you gots to understand sista is that although islam is supposed to dominate all facets of life, your faith and the extent of your believe in god is a personal matter. The hijab, the situation with your family, that is all secondary. If your heart has settled on islam, just pray in peace and go about with your daily live. Do not stress, eventually a few years down the road as you become more independent, everything will naturally become clearer with respects to how to deal with people who give you a hard time. We face similar situations for being one way or another and it doesn't even have to be religion. I would recommend you stay integrated with your friends and family, keep up normal relations, work on inner strength and keep praying to Allah.

[Zahra Ruhullah]

Assalam 3laikum wr wb

Im a revert to Islam since April08, alhumdulilah, my parents know of my interest, and i told my mum i wanted to become a Muslim, but they have totally ignored all of it. They have seen me in abaya and Hijab,helped me get to and from the mosque, but i have a feeling that if i go for it "full time" that i wouldnt have a home anymore.

Im scared of losing my family, scared of not having a home to go to.

Any advice on this?

im 18, and i dont have a job.. so i wouldnt have any money to support me. There is a job opportunity, but im waiting for to get back to me, so im not totally "bumming" around haha.

Please, any advice?

JazakAllah Kheir

Salams

your story reminds me of Salman e Farsi of his struggle to remain steadfast in his belief in Islam despite his parents repeatedly threatened him to denounce it. They even locked him up. If you have the time, read up on the life of this great man inshallah.

My opinion is to get your friends, people from the mosque, imambargah to give you support and help in the best that they can. I'm quite positive that some of our shiachatters here live within your area, maybe they can be of help. I believe your parents should be informed of what is Islam etc..

then again, your akhlaq is the most important of all. very important, sis.

Do your best, God does the rest

wassalam

Edited December 16, 2009 by Zahra Ruhullah

[SayYaAli]

Hey Sister Emma.

Not to repeat what's been said, but I agree. Take it step by step and see which way the wind is blowing. That's important if you're dependent on them. If they are semi-atheist types like you said then perhaps you could appeal to freedom of thought. Atheists pride themselves on it. Say it's an experience you'd like to have.

Good luck and congratulations on your reversion. Maybe seeing you as a Muslim will be an inspiration to your family and pull them towards the idea of Islam.

I'll be praying for you.

[sukaina_08]

Salaam sis,

I'm also a revert - I reverted just around the same time you did! That's great that your parents at least KNOW the direction you are going (I don't live at home so my parents still have no clue). Even though your parents don't like it, they seem to still be accepting of you and still love you just the same. It's also good that they've seen you wearing hijab - the next step would be to start to wear it more often. Toss it on sometimes when going out... and slowly work up to wearing it full time. As for Muharram, you don't need to go all out and risk freaking them out. Just wear a simple black scarf. Step by step. Or, when you leave the house, change later so that they don't see it.

In reality, you may be surprised to find that once you come out as being a full Muslim, they may not disown you after all. They already know that you're inclined in that direction, which to me would be the crucial point at which you would most risk being kicked out, or be threatened of it. But, it sounds like as long as you continue to take it step by step, they may not react as harshly as you might think. Plus remember that above all, they love you and wouldn't want you to be out on the streets!

It's good to have a plan, but don't get so far ahead of yourself that you suddenly move out and they're left wondering what on earth happened - before you've even given them a chance to react to your news! You also don't want to close your life up into a small box - leave yourself options. What about college?

Good luck sister, may God give you strength and wisdom to make the right choices. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more!

[smak786110]

Those who struggle on the way of Allah..Allah himself helps them out from the way they didnt even imagine !

My prayers are always with you dear sister.... !

Allah Karim inshallah !