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shoelace

woman complexes

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Salaam…

This idea popped up in my head whilst surfing the internet. The media has much of an influence on our society today. I was checking my mail and then I saw this advert on the side talking about breast enlargement (special price for Christmas). Hijab and covering ourself as muslims is very important and the word of Allah. However some men do not stop themselves from gazing and especially in the western part of the world whereby you may find many women flaunting themselves in front of the opposite sex.

I then began to think about the affect this may have on muslim sisters and there husbands. I mean every woman would want to look “sexy” in the eyes of her husband. But then this raises problems and complexes or insecurity about looks, body shape and size and how they appear to look in front of their spouse. The media creates a modal look for woman to be slim with curves. Which in fact is not always the case.

Having treatments such as nose jobs, breast enlargement etc etc. is frowned upon in islam (unless health reasons) for reasons such as attracting more attention towards yourself, plus you should be happy with the body you were given and also wasting money. On the other side the amount of failing marriages (knowledge that can be backed up with sociological references) are increasing as many couples loose interest in each other (probably as husbands have issues with wives beauty *sigh*) and many other reasons.

So as muslims (women) what do you think about being attractive for your spouse and isit right to undertake such treatments to save marriages and to prevent loosing interest in one another. Or are there other ways to boost self confidence about yourself and your looks.

Mrs Ali (shoelace)

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Salaam

I think you hit the main problems:

1) Women are held to the 'standards' of models on TV and magazines (whose pictures are photoshopped most of the time anyway) and expected to meet those standards, both inside themselves, and by other people in society

2) Women feel the need to 'compete' more in these things

Anyway I was not aware that there was actually any fiqh ruling saying these things are discouraged although I wouldn't consider them wise because they have dangers and side effects and usually aren't necessary. Of course, the 'procedures' someone does are not important; what is important for women is that they observe proper hijab. What is not visible to the outside world isn't the outside world's business.

I don't know if it would really 'save' a marriage for most normal people but if it did I could see why someone might do it. But often women try to solve their life problems by altering their physical appearance but it really doesn't solve the underlying problems. However I really dont think plastic surgery would reduce the rate of failing marriages for the most part.

But yes of course there are plenty of other ways to boost one's self confidence and appearance. Self confidence can come from achievements, taking new challenges, and prayer. Appearance.... well most women are experts at that anyway.

Salaam…

This idea popped up in my head whilst surfing the internet. The media has much of an influence on our society today. I was checking my mail and then I saw this advert on the side talking about breast enlargement (special price for Christmas). Hijab and covering ourself as muslims is very important and the word of Allah. However some men do not stop themselves from gazing and especially in the western part of the world whereby you may find many women flaunting themselves in front of the opposite sex.

I then began to think about the affect this may have on muslim sisters and there husbands. I mean every woman would want to look “sexy” in the eyes of her husband. But then this raises problems and complexes or insecurity about looks, body shape and size and how they appear to look in front of their spouse. The media creates a modal look for woman to be slim with curves. Which in fact is not always the case.

Having treatments such as nose jobs, breast enlargement etc etc. is frowned upon in islam (unless health reasons) for reasons such as attracting more attention towards yourself, plus you should be happy with the body you were given and also wasting money. On the other side the amount of failing marriages (knowledge that can be backed up with sociological references) are increasing as many couples loose interest in each other (probably as husbands have issues with wives beauty *sigh*) and many other reasons.

So as muslims (women) what do you think about being attractive for your spouse and isit right to undertake such treatments to save marriages and to prevent loosing interest in one another. Or are there other ways to boost self confidence about yourself and your looks.

Mrs Ali (shoelace)

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Anyway I was not aware that there was actually any fiqh ruling saying these things are discouraged although I wouldn't consider them wise because they have dangers and side effects and usually aren't necessary. Of course, the 'procedures' someone does are not important; what is important for women is that they observe proper hijab. What is not visible to the outside world isn't the outside world's business.

Actually there are no ruling discouraging plastic surgeries unless they are dangerous. However I was thinking that most of the plastic surgeries doctors are males, so for Muslim women to undergo a beauty plastic surgery to their bodies is not always an option. I do agree that failed marriages are not usually due to lack of beauty however I still think women should take care of their looks to at least be in shape and look decent(and so should men), there is no need for plastic surgeries but dressing well, a healthy diet and regular exercise will do. Of course these things comes second to the achievements you spoke about but are still not to be neglected. We have plenty of ahadith encouraging women as well as men to take care of their look for their spouses . I've read narrations of Imam AlRedha how he used to beautify himself for his woman: dresses nice , perfumes himself and shapes his beard before he goes to his wife. Beautifying oneself is good , risking ones health for plastic surgery to look like X or Y Hollywood star is lack of self esteem.

The media, TV, magazines brainwashed us no doubt. I have a 5 years old female cousin who is very very skinny, I was shocked to hear her saying "I don't want to eat I don't want to become fat or have an ugly belly". She does not watch too much TV or know what magazines are but it's sufficient what she hears from her surroundings(who happen to be brainwashed adults).

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Salaam…

This idea popped up in my head whilst surfing the internet. The media has much of an influence on our society today. I was checking my mail and then I saw this advert on the side talking about breast enlargement (special price for Christmas). Hijab and covering ourself as muslims is very important and the word of Allah. However some men do not stop themselves from gazing and especially in the western part of the world whereby you may find many women flaunting themselves in front of the opposite sex.

Many women flaunt themselves for other women as well. Come on, you know you totally feel amazing when you're around your ugly friends. There is nothing wrong with breast implants by the way. For many women, implants and other versions of plastic surgery make them feel good about themselves, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Maybe you too should consider that Christmas special you're contemplating... :P

I then began to think about the affect this may have on muslim sisters and there husbands. I mean every woman would want to look “sexy” in the eyes of her husband. But then this raises problems and complexes or insecurity about looks, body shape and size and how they appear to look in front of their spouse. The media creates a modal look for woman to be slim with curves. Which in fact is not always the case.

Having treatments such as nose jobs, breast enlargement etc etc. is frowned upon in islam (unless health reasons) for reasons such as attracting more attention towards yourself, plus you should be happy with the body you were given and also wasting money. On the other side the amount of failing marriages (knowledge that can be backed up with sociological references) are increasing as many couples loose interest in each other (probably as husbands have issues with wives beauty *sigh*) and many other reasons.

Again, women like to look sexy for themselves too. There is nothing wrong in attempting to achieve your ideal body image. Yes, women are subjected to many complexes and insecurities, but they're also not as weak as you make them out to be. Not all women who want breast implants are really insecure about themselves - but having big boobs might just give them more confidence. Besides, being brown is a total disadvantage in that department. It certainly is not a waste of money. My question to you is, why not enhance our goodies - its called being proud of your femininity.

So as muslims (women) what do you think about being attractive for your spouse and isit right to undertake such treatments to save marriages and to prevent loosing interest in one another. Or are there other ways to boost self confidence about yourself and your looks.

Mrs Ali (shoelace)

Nothing wrong in being attractive for your spouse, and nothing wrong with being attractive for yourself either. I do think you underestimate the depth of many men out there too. As much as I consider myself a feminist, I know for sure most men out there aren't as daft as you describe them. Men naturally are more attracted to the women they love.

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Guest Zahratul_Islam

Salaam…

This idea popped up in my head whilst surfing the internet. The media has much of an influence on our society today. I was checking my mail and then I saw this advert on the side talking about breast enlargement (special price for Christmas). Hijab and covering ourself as muslims is very important and the word of Allah. However some men do not stop themselves from gazing and especially in the western part of the world whereby you may find many women flaunting themselves in front of the opposite sex.

I then began to think about the affect this may have on muslim sisters and there husbands. I mean every woman would want to look “sexy” in the eyes of her husband. But then this raises problems and complexes or insecurity about looks, body shape and size and how they appear to look in front of their spouse. The media creates a modal look for woman to be slim with curves. Which in fact is not always the case.

Having treatments such as nose jobs, breast enlargement etc etc. is frowned upon in islam (unless health reasons) for reasons such as attracting more attention towards yourself, plus you should be happy with the body you were given and also wasting money. On the other side the amount of failing marriages (knowledge that can be backed up with sociological references) are increasing as many couples loose interest in each other (probably as husbands have issues with wives beauty *sigh*) and many other reasons.

So as muslims (women) what do you think about being attractive for your spouse and isit right to undertake such treatments to save marriages and to prevent loosing interest in one another. Or are there other ways to boost self confidence about yourself and your looks.

Mrs Ali (shoelace)

If the stability of my marriage is hinging on whether or not my boobs grow a a size bigger.. pretty sure I am better off without that blithering idiot. Take care of yourself, EAT WELL, drink plenty of water, and get plenty of exercise for yourself and for your partner as well. There is some nobility in wanting to be the best you can be for your family, but when it becomes critical to the happiness of your marriage.. perhaps there are underlying issues that need to be explored.

Btw Mehvish.. you are freggin hilarious :lol: I am beginning to really enjoy your posts.

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staaay far away from any cosmetic work....8 out of 10 times, the patients I saw on my plastic surgery rotation were repeats who had something go wrong after the fact...so youre looking at more cutting just to fix unforeseen changes since the first surgery. Also, the whole body looks very unnatural and therefore less appealing to men, ofcourse you dont see this on tv because everything is adjusted so well for those few minutes that it looks great...but thats rarely the case in real life, people can tell a mile away that another person has had work done, so all in all, I dont think its worth it. Better off going to the gym and getting a personal trainer, she can get u where u want, and believe me your face/body will look tighter and 10x better than with surgery - and on top of that, u will feel better mentally becuase exercise is a huge anti-depressant/mood stablilizer...join lucille roberts, all women gym, avoid co-ed gyms like the plague, the discomfort of all the men looking might not make it the best environment for someone already conscious of their body.

Edited by basha

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Better off going to the gym and getting a personal trainer, she can get u where u want, and believe me your face/body will look tighter and 10x better than with surgery - and on top of that, u will feel better mentally becuase exercise is a huge anti-depressant/mood stablilizer...join lucille roberts, all women gym, avoid co-ed gyms like the plague, the discomfort of all the men looking might not make it the best environment for someone already conscious of their body.

Much better idea than having someone have a go at you with a knife or suction tube while paralyzed under anaesthesia. Once you get into a physical workout, you will feel the need for exercise every day...because exercise lifts your mood, sculpts your body and give you a radiant complexion. I dont think there are effective artifical ways of doing this.

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Guest Zahratul_Islam

Much better idea than having someone have a go at you with a knife or suction tube while paralyzed under anaesthesia. Once you get into a physical workout, you will feel the need for exercise every day...because exercise lifts your mood, sculpts your body and give you a radiant complexion. I dont think there are effective artifical ways of doing this.

Very true. Working out daily makes me much easier to get along with :squeez:

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Agreed...in particular the bold part. I think it kind of gives you a self confidence boost and makes you happy with what you are rather than trying to be like someone else....both physically and emotionally.

wow im so glad so many shias are with it, for me it goes hand in hand with my religion, I think Shaikh Jaffer Muhibullah in one of his lectures mentioned a hadith by Imam Hasan Askari a.s., that there are 4 parts that u should divide the day in, the first is alone time for yourself, second is for your family, third is for your friends (amr bil maroof/nahi anil munkar) and the last part is to have fun, period. And then Imam Hasan a.s. continues that the last part will determine all the other parts because without fun, you will not be able to carry out the other responsibilities for too long. Alhamdulillah. Exercise = best halal fun money can buy! lol.

Edited by basha

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Women complexes,Wat a misogynist title?Ya should rather name it as," Women insecurities".That sounds better.This topic is mainly concerned with married women so my answer is in that regard. There's no absolute harm in grooming yourself but the question that holds much importance is that Why married women are so busy day and night to enhance their beauty?The answer to this perplexed question is that they're compelled to do so 'coz of their husbands.They do know that if they wouldn't groom themselves then their husbands would get an excuse to throw them out of their lives like a trash.Such a blokish attitude from the domineers of society,[Edited Out].I dunno why women are so interested in marrying such men who're so concerned about their looks,figure,complexion etc? Wat's the reason of their craving for perfectionism,which never ends?

To hell with such men who're not gonna compromise on their wives shortcomings.Its pretty good to work-out regularly,to eat veggies,to drink lot of water,to cut on fats in-order to make yourself much more presentable for Ur spouse but my question is how many husbands do groom themselves for their wives? How many of them do regular work-out? How many of them are trying to cut down on smoking 'coz their wives don't like it? How many of them don't forget to visit dietitian to get rid of obesity and to look much more presentable for their wives? I guess,0%. Why? 'coz they've much more busy schedules and there's no need of wasting Ur precious time in such attributes.Wat's the need of grooming yourself ?for that homely,garden-variety. no not at all.

Stop twisting Ur words.One can't deny the fact that they do so 'coz they think their marriage is unraveling. This is the truism,the hidden reality.

Regarding the usage of breast-enlargement creams so many of them do cause cancer but if ya don't have the family history of cancer so ya can switch to a herbal formulation.They're quite safe and have no side-effects.

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Salaam…

This idea popped up in my head whilst surfing the internet. The media has much of an influence on our society today. I was checking my mail and then I saw this advert on the side talking about breast enlargement (special price for Christmas). Hijab and covering ourself as muslims is very important and the word of Allah. However some men do not stop themselves from gazing and especially in the western part of the world whereby you may find many women flaunting themselves in front of the opposite sex.

I then began to think about the affect this may have on muslim sisters and there husbands. I mean every woman would want to look "sexy" in the eyes of her husband. But then this raises problems and complexes or insecurity about looks, body shape and size and how they appear to look in front of their spouse. The media creates a modal look for woman to be slim with curves. Which in fact is not always the case.

Having treatments such as nose jobs, breast enlargement etc etc. is frowned upon in islam (unless health reasons) for reasons such as attracting more attention towards yourself, plus you should be happy with the body you were given and also wasting money. On the other side the amount of failing marriages (knowledge that can be backed up with sociological references) are increasing as many couples loose interest in each other (probably as husbands have issues with wives beauty *sigh*) and many other reasons.

So as muslims (women) what do you think about being attractive for your spouse and isit right to undertake such treatments to save marriages and to prevent loosing interest in one another. Or are there other ways to boost self confidence about yourself and your looks.

Mrs Ali (shoelace)

Salam

I'm very confident about myself, and I don't compare myself to other women. Why? Because I know who I am - that I'm unique. I see how majority of women I bump in to are extremely boring (sorry but that's my opinion...lol) and have no special personality at all. They think they do but they don't. The bimbos, sarcasmos, feminists, wannabe hippies, the ghetto chicks, tough chicks, the obedient weaklings, the quiet reading horse...what's so special about any of that? Every woman you meet applies to onw of the mentioned personality types...I'm not arrogant but I don't fall into any of them...so I feel like I'm unique. Actually, everyone who meets me, especially men, tell me I'm like no one they've ever encountered - alhamdulellah.

That was the internal bit. There's obviously a physical bit too but I haven't mentioned it so much because I've come to learn that beauty for men is NOT what's on the outside only - it's just a small part of it (if it's serious relationships we're talking about here). I've noticed that it's really just stupid (yes, literally dumb/stupid = low IQ) men who find plastic attractive, or very young boys/underdevelopped men. Sorry but I don't envy women who have those type of men in their fan base LOL. But men aside, I don't aspire to look like models and actresses. I ahve a very different FIXED idea of what a woman should look like: she should have curves. Not talking fat here, just some meat on the bones...women are supposed to have breasts, thighs, hips and butts...those curves are what seperates us from the male body...so I don't at all understand why women these days are so busy with hiding their womanhood...trying to get slim hips, slim thighs. There's a reason why most women can't naturally achieve that kind of tooth pick body: we're not supposed to be that way!

I'm personally very content and proud of my physical appearance...I'm proud to be FEMININE and the curves that I'm supposed to have. I don't care that I can't squeeze my butt into a size 2...the day I can, I'd know that I need to eat an extra burger. I care about fashion, I care about make-up, I care about grooming...and take ½ hour every morning to put myself together. It's important to me to keep up my appearances and look my best - but because it makes me feel good. Like I'm doing what's naturally in me...as a woman. And yes, it also feels good to know that a man is enjoying it too. I'd never not make myself attractive for my husband. And I wouldn't get a husband who finds plastic attractive...so I'd probably not go under the knife without a very good reason for it.

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Salam

I'm very confident about myself, and I don't compare myself to other women. Why? Because I know who I am - that I'm unique. I see how majority of women I bump in to are extremely boring (sorry but that's my opinion...lol) and have no special personality at all. They think they do but they don't. The bimbos, sarcasmos, feminists, wannabe hippies, the ghetto chicks, tough chicks, the obedient weaklings, the quiet reading horse...what's so special about any of that? Every woman you meet applies to onw of the mentioned personality types...I'm not arrogant but I don't fall into any of them...so I feel like I'm unique. Actually, everyone who meets me, especially men, tell me I'm like no one they've ever encountered - alhamdulellah.

Wow, seriously get over yourself, the fact that you mentioned all these men consider you one of a kind completely contradicts the picture you are trying so helplessly hard to point to. Come back down to the surface for a change, there's less carbon around.

WOW I JUST READ THE REST OF UR POST

LMAOOO are u kidding me????? GIRL UZ OUT OF UR DAYMM MIND, INFACT UVE LOST IT.

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Salam

I thought this was the sisters' section only and only women would read this

:!!!: LMAO

anyway you should not generalize their full qualities should not be apparant to you, that is a celebrity culture. your observations are what they choose to present so you are foolish to think that is everything they are. and it only proves you try to present everything you are so you judge others to be behaving like you.

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Salam

I thought this was the sisters' section only and only women would read this

If you're expecting them to stop intervening into our very own forum then you're seriously mistaken.No-one can stop them from poking their nose into our forum.

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Guest Zahratul_Islam

Sorry I did not mean to insult you, however I am finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that an islamic forum is an appropriate setting to carefully analyze shrinking and bloated butt sizes.

So NOW its an Islamic forum? Your selective moral outrage is convenient. :dry:

Edited by Zahratul_Islam

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w00t.gif LMAO

anyway you should not generalize their full qualities should not be apparant to you, that is a celebrity culture. your observations are what they choose to present so you are foolish to think that is everything they are. and it only proves you try to present everything you are so you judge others to be behaving like you.

Salam

I'm not saying they present all of their personality but they present a big part of it and it's boring. And no, I don't want anybody to be like me or copy me, where did I say that? wacko.gif Please don't put words to my mouth. I was just stating my own opinion. If you think women are hilarious and interesting then fair enough but I don't feel that way. Female company bore me because females are boring. Even here, the female members almost just chitchat about useless things with one another so nobody else can join in to their conversation..that's how it works in real life too unfortunately

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Guest Zahratul_Islam

Salam

I'm not saying they present all of their personality but they present a big part of it and it's boring. And no, I don't want anybody to be like me or copy me, where did I say that? wacko.gif Please don't put words to my mouth. I was just stating my own opinion. If you think women are hilarious and interesting then fair enough but I don't feel that way. Female company bore me because females are boring. Even here, the female members almost just chitchat about useless things with one another so nobody else can join in to their conversation..that's how it works in real life too unfortunately

Keep better company :unsure:

I have met a lot of women on here (tempted to name names.. but you know you are :wub:) who I find funny and interesting and whose thoughtfulness I have really come to respect even if we happen to disagree. I have met women on here who are truly admirable and always have something intelligent to say whether the conversation is about politics, religion, philosophy, science, or the countless deficiencies of men (joking.. kind of) . Maybe these conversations went over your head, but that says more about you than it does about these women.

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Salam

I keep great company thanks ;)

Maybe these conversations went over your head, but that says more about you than it does about these women.

Whatever. I actually had you specifically in mind when I wrote that women are boring in here. All you do is being rude, sarcastic and joke around and chitchat with your little e-girl friends..so boring

I've too met intelligent women. But they still lack personality and excitement

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Salam

I keep great company thanks ;)

Whatever. I actually had you specifically in mind when I wrote that women are boring in here. All you do is being rude, sarcastic and joke around and chitchat with your little e-girl friends..so boring

I've too met intelligent women. But they still lack personality and excitement

This is ShiaChat. What do you expect them to do for you, tap dance?

Edited by Shia & Proud

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Salam

I keep great company thanks ;)

Whatever. I actually had you specifically in mind when I wrote that women are boring in here. All you do is being rude, sarcastic and joke around and chitchat with your little e-girl friends..so boring

I've too met intelligent women. But they still lack personality and excitement

Funny how she was just defending a select few here instead of attacking you, and weirdly enough that prompted you to reveal your nature. Again as she said, your response speaks volumes about you but says absolutely nothing about her. Knowing Zahratul, I doubt she will bother responding to you. Honestly from reading half your posts here, you seem to come off a bit insecure and I assure you, seeking attention on sc won't help you get rid of these insecurities.

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This is ShiaChat. What do you expect them to do for you, tap dance?

thats my point, also :)

also I wondered what was the point of the avatar of a woman with her hair out lying on a bed all about?

Edited by Mohammed-W

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Salam

I'm very confident about myself, and I don't compare myself to other women. Why? Because I know who I am - that I'm unique. I see how majority of women I bump in to are extremely boring (sorry but that's my opinion...lol) and have no special personality at all. They think they do but they don't. The bimbos, sarcasmos, feminists, wannabe hippies, the ghetto chicks, tough chicks, the obedient weaklings, the quiet reading horse...what's so special about any of that? Every woman you meet applies to onw of the mentioned personality types...I'm not arrogant but I don't fall into any of them...so I feel like I'm unique. Actually, everyone who meets me, especially men, tell me I'm like no one they've ever encountered - alhamdulellah.

Actually all women (and I will also extend this to men and children) are unique in their own right. However, those that need to shout from the rooftops about their uniqueness, perhaps they are the ones who suffer from some sort of complex.

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Actually all women (and I will also extend this to men and children) are unique in their own right. However, those that need to shout from the rooftops about their uniqueness, perhaps they are the ones who suffer from some sort of complex.

+1

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"Beauty Lies in the Eyes of a Beholder"

I think outer beauty is not all what counts. If there is really inner beauty then most of the time the outer self gets hidden by it.

And all such kinds of artificial surgeries only makes one attractive for short time. Its better to stay healthy and fit which r the secrets of long term beauty.

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(salam)

I think the OP wanted to know the impact of the "sexy" woman presented by media on the husbands of regular women who have a hard time finding "ME" time. (esp in the case of South Asian women). It is unfortunately true that some men actually force their wives to change or alter their appearance. This force is not physical mind you but rather verbal. I don't think any woman would like being compared to another woman. I know I wouldn't like being told " Did you see so and so? She was looking so great in that dress!" or "Did u notice so and so? She has lost weight I think and is looking great!" or a more direct approach.. " I think you should eat less. You're putting on weight!" it feels like a silent warning.. hmmm... time to do something... husband's looking at other women!

And I have seen this in reality that the poor woman had to undergo god-knows how many surgeries just because her husband thought... hmmm the fashion is for bigger boobs.. u should get them! or hmm.. I think ur stomach is getting a bit flabby.. y not get a lipo?

This trend is disturbing to say the least. Most married women are comfortable with thier bodies no matter the size. The only reason they are made to feel uncomfortable is when their husbands praise other women.

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thanks God i dont need any surgeries (what is that for), make up (hate the toxin inside), or chemical cosmetic to look good being an ex model ahahaha (partly joking please dont PM me for this)

please, just search a good hubby, the one that doesnt love you for the way you look, but love you for the way you are

you are lovable in every way, your mind, your akhlaq, your smile, your talking.. search for that man

if you choose someone that love you for the way you look, every pretty thing em woman sorry, will vanish in time, no mater how much you prevent it. with age skin wrinkled, boobs flattened, stomach larged (as soon as you have baby),

will you discard your spouse if her/his looks flail? but see the mirror, you cant even stop time from biting at yourself! will you ready if YOU that the one banished because of your face?

need recipes to look good? see my post (sharing beauty recipes

Edited by ananda.zahra

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(salam)

I think the OP wanted to know the impact of the "sexy" woman presented by media on the husbands of regular women who have a hard time finding "ME" time. (esp in the case of South Asian women). It is unfortunately true that some men actually force their wives to change or alter their appearance. This force is not physical mind you but rather verbal. I don't think any woman would like being compared to another woman. I know I wouldn't like being told " Did you see so and so? She was looking so great in that dress!" or "Did u notice so and so? She has lost weight I think and is looking great!" or a more direct approach.. " I think you should eat less. You're putting on weight!" it feels like a silent warning.. hmmm... time to do something... husband's looking at other women!

And I have seen this in reality that the poor woman had to undergo god-knows how many surgeries just because her husband thought... hmmm the fashion is for bigger boobs.. u should get them! or hmm.. I think ur stomach is getting a bit flabby.. y not get a lipo?

This trend is disturbing to say the least. Most married women are comfortable with thier bodies no matter the size. The only reason they are made to feel uncomfortable is when their husbands praise other women.

this is true, and i think it's good for men to think about this

one of the advantages of hijab when it is practiced in an entire society (not just individually) is that it reduces this sort of 'comparison' between women so that a husband does not go out and compare his wife to this lady and that lady, and it makes for a healthier relationship

however....... if there is something reasonable that a lady can do to make her husband happier with her appearance, why not. there is nothing wrong with him verbalizing his request. otherwise how should she know what he is thinking. (same thing with women too, there is no problem with women telling men how they could improve their appearance)

as long as he is willing to do what it takes to get it - for instance, if he wants her to dress nicer, he actually needs to be willing to pay for new clothes. or make sure she has more free time to spend on her apeparance. nothing comes for free in life!

otherwise if he keeps asking and she keeps ignoring him, it is not surprising if he would look at others. some women really do not take care of themselves at all and that is wrong, even hadith remind us that both men and women should take care of their appearances for the sake of their spouse. there should be a balance

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It only bugs me when i'm having a 'fat' day, but hubby has never compared me to a celebrity - a good thing because i'll probably go into an overdramatic rage which ends with hysterical crying and burning of magazines lol.

If a dude wants you to look like Halle Berry, he'd better look like James Dean!

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