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um.murtada

do you think it's ok or not ? and why ?

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hi

do you think it's ok for a girl to study in other countery far from her famialy ( scholership ) ? what about if she nows girls will go with her ?

why do you think it's ok ? or not ok ?

and i have a Q ,, is their any of shai in canada ?

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(as)

do you think it's ok for a girl to study in other countery far from her famialy ( scholership ) ?

Yes, it's ok! It's actually quite good (depending on the girl) - if the parents can trust her not to go crazy then it's a very valuable experience.

what about if she nows girls will go with her ?

Even better!

why do you think it's ok ? or not ok ?

It's ok because it's halal :)

and i have a Q ,, is their any of shai in canada ?

Plenty!

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hi

do you think it's ok for a girl to study in other countery far from her famialy ( scholership ) ? what about if she nows girls will go with her ?

why do you think it's ok ? or not ok ?

and i have a Q ,, is their any of shai in canada ?

salaam

religiously it's ok, but she should be sure she is ready to live alone in another country, especially if she has never lived alone before and is not strong or independent.

it is dangerous to go somewhere new and live by yourself, you don't know what to be careful of, you are unstable and sometimes do unsafe things you wouldn't ordinarily do (like getting lost at night and walking 3 hours in the middle of nowhere).

it is easy to get taken advantage of too. a person who is alone is vulnerable. young people are sometimes more trusting of acquaintances than they should be and sometimes that leads to bad consequences. or sometimes they are taken advantage of financially.

when you are young you don't usually think of all the things that could happen and you are not always as alert about them. girls are physically more vulnerable than boys although i would say the same for both.

i am not saying NOT to do it.... but i am saying there are risks that should be considered too. i think it is important to see whether the benefits are greater than the risks.

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^ You have just scared the hell out of the girl and you are saying that you are not saying that don't do it?

I think a girl with half a brain would be cautious at a new place. And then it is upon parents/guardian to educate their girls of potential dangers of moving alone to an unknown country. If the socio-political conditions in the host country are fine, like as in developed countries in the West, then I think taking general cautionary measures would suffice. Not if you are intending to go to a [Edited Out]hole where you are more likely to get killed in a blast than eat your dinner.

Edited by Marbles

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There is no standard "right or wrong" answer to your question because it really depends on the person, on the girl. In the same family, siblings raised the same way but each have a different personality, parents can allow one girl to go study in another country and at the same time forbidding her biological twin to study in the nearest city. The same rule goes for guys too. If the girl is independent, knows how to manage her life alone wisely and is not scared or vulnerable, if she is trust worthy, mature, organized and knows right from wrong, then I see nothing wrong in sending her to study on another country or planet.

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There is no standard "right or wrong" answer to your question because it really depends on the person, on the girl. In the same family, siblings raised the same way but each have a different personality, parents can allow one girl to go study in another country and at the same time forbidding her biological twin to study in the nearest city. The same rule goes for guys too. If the girl is independent, knows how to manage her life alone wisely and is not scared or vulnerable, if she is trust worthy, mature, organized and knows right from wrong, then I see nothing wrong in sending her to study on another country or planet.

That'd be a little too 'liberal' :angel:

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I think a girl with half a brain would be cautious at a new place. And then it is upon parents/guardian to educate their girls of potential dangers of moving alone to an unknown country. If the socio-political conditions in the host country are fine, like as in developed countries in the West, then I think taking general cautionary measures would suffice. Not if you are intending to go to a [Edited Out]hole where you are more likely to get killed in a blast than eat your dinner.

people don't always recognise what 'generaly cautionary measures' are in a new place, and sometimes people are too trusting if they haven't been independent before.

i don't think it is true that the west is safer than other places. it depends on where you are. some areas have a high crime rate and some have a low crime rate. in the US they often advise parents to check on the crime rate around a university before sending their son or daughter there as there are always sad stories of crimes happening to students.

it's not about 'half a brain', it's more to do with general awareness and also life experience.

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people don't always recognise what 'generaly cautionary measures' are in a new place, and sometimes people are too trusting if they haven't been independent before.

i don't think it is true that the west is safer than other places. it depends on where you are. some areas have a high crime rate and some have a low crime rate. in the US they often advise parents to check on the crime rate around a university before sending their son or daughter there as there are always sad stories of crimes happening to students.

it's not about 'half a brain', it's more to do with general awareness and also life experience.

I see your point bint but I linked safety with the socio-political situation of the host country. Some countries are safer than others. Is Canada not safer than Pakistan? Or Switzerland than Lebanon? It also depends on existing support networks and 'user-friendliness' of the host country's public institutions which people have to deal with on day-to-day basis. It is easier to get settled in developed countries than in underdeveloped ones - and Western countries are better at that. Remember we are talking about young females here, not machos like me who can deal with any country.

I think US is quite an exception in the developed world. I don't know. Things are not so pretty everywhere in the US.

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Remember we are talking about young females here, not machos like me who can deal with any country.

I'm female and I'm speaking from a female perspective. I don't think it is advisable for parents to send daughters who do not have a lot of life experience (including experience with men) to live alone, unless they are sure they will have a mahram or a female relative or acquaintance there who will be able to watch over them, or unless the benefits greatly outweigh the risks (as I said above).

Having good personal morality (e.g. knowing right from wrong) is different from being street smart and recognizing a stranger is trying to take advantage of you (whether sexually, financially, or some other way). Of course that can happen anywhere but, as I said, when you are alone, you are more vulnerable, and are perceived as more vulnerable.

It also depends on what you consider 'safety'. Obviously no one is saying that it is safe to move into a war zone.

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I'm female and I'm speaking from a female perspective. I don't think it is advisable for parents to send daughters who do not have a lot of life experience (including experience with men) to live alone, unless they are sure they will have a mahram or a female relative or acquaintance there who will be able to watch over them, or unless the benefits greatly outweigh the risks (as I said above).

Having good personal morality (e.g. knowing right from wrong) is different from being street smart and recognizing a stranger is trying to take advantage of you (whether sexually, financially, or some other way). Of course that can happen anywhere but, as I said, when you are alone, you are more vulnerable, and are perceived as more vulnerable.

When I mentioned "know right from wrong" and how "it depends on their personality" I was also talking about the street smartness and to not be vulnerable etc , that is why I said two twins both raised well are not always both allowed to live on their own in a different country, because(sometimes) one is weaker(can't manage her life by her own, can easily be taken advantage of , can't make wise confident decisions etc) than the other. So we're more or less trying to explain the same view.

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I see your point bint but I linked safety with the socio-political situation of the host country. Some countries are safer than others. Is Canada not safer than Pakistan? Or Switzerland than Lebanon? It also depends on existing support networks and 'user-friendliness' of the host country's public institutions which people have to deal with on day-to-day basis. It is easier to get settled in developed countries than in underdeveloped ones - and Western countries are better at that. Remember we are talking about young females here, not machos like me who can deal with any country.

True, but how often would people even think to send their children to study in Iraq, Lebanon or Pakistan in the first place? So that's not the real problem as almost no one think of Eastern countries when they send their daughter/son , they usually chose between US, Canada, UK and maybe a few other European countries..Hence we're not focusing on the safety of the political status quo of the countries but rather on a young female who's always lived with her family but is not sure whether she can make it or not to live in a Western country alone(for studies purpose), and why yes or why not.

Edited by Calm

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It also depends on what you consider 'safety'. Obviously no one is saying that it is safe to move into a war zone.

No, not in a war zone but in countries with less socio-political stability than others. Even if there is no war in Northern Pakistan, it would still be unsafer compared to Canada. Lebanon is not in a state of war. Safety there can't be equated with Switzerland. As I said, developed countries with strong public institutions are generally safer for a lone individual than less developed. It can't be denied.

Edited by Marbles

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No, not in a war zone but in countries with less socio-political stability than others. Even if there is no war in Northern Pakistan, it would still be unsafer compared to Canada. Lebanon is not in a state of war. Safety there can't be equated with Switzerland. As I said, developed countries with strong public institutions are generally safer for a lone individual than less developed. It can't be denied.

I don't think Bint or anyone is denying this fact however she's saying not only because it's a Western country, it would automatically mean safety..She's not talking about the same kind of safety you're talking about, so her concern is different than the one you're pointing out.

Edited by Calm

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True, but how often would people even think to send their children to study in Iraq, Lebanon or Pakistan? So that's not the real problem as almost no one think of Eastern countries when they send their daughter/son , they usually chose between US, Canada, UK and maybe a few other European countries..Hence we're not focusing on the safety of the political status quo of the countries but rather on a young female who's always lived with her family but is not sure whether she can make it or not to live in a Western country alone(for studies purpose), and why yes or why not.

I have seen hundreds of people from the East who go to other Eastern countries for studies. Many many Arabs and Iranians go to India for education in medical and engineering/IT. There are many Chinese students in universities in Pakistan of all places. Students from African countries like Nigeria, Sudan, Egypt etc studying in Pakistani universities outnumber Chinese. Many Pakistani students are studying in universities in China, Kazakhstan, Turkey etc. This was for "secular" education. We have many more people from the Subcontinent who send their daughters to study in hawzahs in Iran and Syria although Iraq is not an option these days due to the war-like situation. Sunnis go to Al-Azhar (maybe only men) in Egypt and Saudi Arabia. There are plenty of Westerners who go to study in Middle Eastern countries for religious education.

But I agree, most traffic is from East to West.

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I have seen hundreds of people from the East who go to other Eastern countries for studies. Many many Arabs and Iranians go to India for education in medical and engineering/IT. There are many Chinese students in universities in Pakistan of all places. Students from African countries like Nigeria, Sudan, Egypt etc studying in Pakistani universities outnumber Chinese. Many Pakistani students are studying in universities in China, Kazakhstan, Turkey etc. This was for "secular" education. We have many more people from the Subcontinent who send their daughters to study in hawzahs in Iran and Syria although Iraq is not an option these days due to the war-like situation. Sunnis go to Al-Azhar (maybe only men) in Egypt and Saudi Arabia. There are plenty of Westerners who go to study in Middle Eastern countries for religious education.

But I agree, most traffic is from East to West.

Interesting. I forgot (or was not fully aware of..)about all those cases when I was reading this thread, don't know it seemed to me we're all talking about East to West for studies. Thanks for the reminder though, although still it seems the OP is considering Canada for studies, so I assume if it's not Canada it would be another Western country, just guessing. Nonetheless, I take back what I said earlier about the rarity of Easterners to study in another Eastern country.

Edited by Calm

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I don't think Bint or anyone is denying this fact however she's saying not only because it's a Western country, it would automatically mean safety..She's not talking about the same kind of safety you're talking about, so her concern is different than the one you're pointing out.

Pardon me if I have failed to get my point across this time but actually, I am talking about the same general safety in a country not in a war zone. I also don't think every place is safer in the West. For instance, I am happy to send my daughter to Canada but I will think twice before sending her to the US. Here in Europe, I'm fine if she goes to Switzerland but I have reservations when it comes to Southern Italy. But on the other hand, I am just not ready to send my daughter to any country in the Middle East or in the Subcontinent, on her own and by herself, if there is no one to take care of her.

To all haters. Come on! I have some more posts for you to rate negative. Please help me become the worst poster on SC. ;)

Edited by Marbles

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Pardon me if I have failed to get my point across this time but actually, I am talking about the same general safety in a country not in a war zone. I also don't think every place is safer in the West. For instance, I am happy to send my daughter to Canada but I will think twice before sending her to the US. Here in Europe, I'm fine if she goes to Switzerland but I have reservations when it comes to Southern Italy. But on the other hand, I am just not ready to send my daughter to any country in the Middle East or in the Subcontinent, on her own and by herself, if there is no one to take care of her

That's very understandable, I wouldn't either. My conclusion is: it depends on the country AND on the girl herself (personality wise etc).

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hi

do you think it's ok for a girl to study in other countery far from her famialy ( scholership ) ? what about if she nows girls will go with her ?

why do you think it's ok ? or not ok ?

and i have a Q ,, is their any of shai in canada ?

There's no absolute harm in it if she's gonna keep in mind her soul purpose and ultimate goal. She should be well aware of her boundaries and limitations. She should take care of her family's honor and veneration. There are good many shias in Canada especially in Toronto.

Edited by saba fatima naqvi

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hi

do you think it's ok for a girl to study in other countery far from her famialy ( scholership ) ? what about if she nows girls will go with her ?

why do you think it's ok ? or not ok ?

and i have a Q ,, is their any of shai in canada ?

Personally as a westerner and someone who has both an undergraduate and a graduate education I can say...sure why not. The only concern I have is that many young people, particularly young people from the Gulf countries are not raised with much responsibility and they tend to be more immature compared to their western counterparts (both Muslim and non-Muslim) and so sometimes going abroad, particularly to a western country can be a bit shocking. Ive seen some Gulf students go absolutely bonkers...both the girls and the guys. They try partying, drinking, dating and some even act ashamed of their faith.

So be careful, if you're a mature young woman who can handle herself in a responsibly manner in a variety of situations than yeah. About Canada...well there are a lot of Muslims in Canada...but it depends on the area you're going too. If youre going to a rural area then there might not be many Muslims and the locals might not be used to Muslims.

For posterities sake...what country r you from? I'm in KSA now and back when I was in Univ we got a sudden HUGE influx of Saudi and Emirati students.

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^ You have just scared the hell out of the girl and you are saying that you are not saying that don't do it?

I think a girl with half a brain would be cautious at a new place. And then it is upon parents/guardian to educate their girls of potential dangers of moving alone to an unknown country. If the socio-political conditions in the host country are fine, like as in developed countries in the West, then I think taking general cautionary measures would suffice. Not if you are intending to go to a [Edited Out]hole where you are more likely to get killed in a blast than eat your dinner.

I think what BintAlHoda said was pretty accurate...unfortunately women in many countries are raised to be completely dependent, like a child on the men in their family, they have absolutely no street smarts and no experience with doing such simple things as paying a bill, they are also extremely immature and have no sense or little sense of responsibility, this is basically what BAH is saying, that these kinds of young people can get easily taken advantage of without them even really realizing whats going on. I'm not saying THIS sister, the OP is like this...but I'm just stating a fact that is well known. en'shallah the OP is a mature and responsible young woman.

I live in KSA now and my husband teaches at a local University and it would shock you to learn how immature many of the young people are here.

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I'm female and I'm speaking from a female perspective. I don't think it is advisable for parents to send daughters who do not have a lot of life experience (including experience with men) to live alone, unless they are sure they will have a mahram or a female relative or acquaintance there who will be able to watch over them, or unless the benefits greatly outweigh the risks (as I said above).

Having good personal morality (e.g. knowing right from wrong) is different from being street smart and recognizing a stranger is trying to take advantage of you (whether sexually, financially, or some other way). Of course that can happen anywhere but, as I said, when you are alone, you are more vulnerable, and are perceived as more vulnerable.

It also depends on what you consider 'safety'. Obviously no one is saying that it is safe to move into a war zone.

I generally agree with what you're saying, but regarding the bolded parts, how would you expect a chaste girl to have experience with men, especially as moral strength is something one should consider when sending a girl abroad.

Regarding life experience, it has to start somewhere, I think a lot of Muslim kids are so immature exactly because their parents are overprotective and don't let them their kids acquire life experience.

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hi

do you think it's ok for a girl to study in other countery far from her famialy ( scholership ) ? what about if she nows girls will go with her ?

why do you think it's ok ? or not ok ?

and i have a Q ,, is their any of shai in canada ?

Salam... perfect example here.. I'm a shia girl living in canada.. + just to make u feel better there's alot of shias in Canada... wat ever provinces u go to.. ottawa, toronto, montreal, halifax, ect...

so dont weary inshallah u'll find a nice place in canada...

where are u planning on studying in canada?

It actually depends of the girl.. and how much she;s independent.. i was actually plannig on finishing my studies outside the city from where i live but I'm to dependent of my mom.. so its not gonna work with me... but if ur eable to leave and live on ur own then why not.. go for it...

i dont think there's anything wrong with it since ur moving out from the house for an amount of time... u know....

well good luck deciding

Edited by Ya_Zahra2

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