RIGHT AMOUNT OF MAHER

[hasy]

(bismillah)

(salam)

I am going to get married very soon inshallah and i want to know what is the SHIAISM point of view regarding HAQ MAHAR.

How much is the religious legal amount for it and when you pay it.

also mention about the tradition of today's world demanding huge amounts of HAQ MAHAR, isnt it against islam/quran.

thanks

[Rubaiyat]

I clicked this link because i thought it was about bill maher

no idea sorry.

[lion]

i guess it depends on what you can afford in reasonable terms, i always thought that it should be 8-10 % of what you make a year. thats just my opinion. so if you make 100 k which is not common, you would put 10 k for maher, but if you're making 50 k a year it should be 5. if you re making 25 k it would be $2500 .

this way you dont oppress yourself nor your future wife. other than that demands that exceed normalcy should be rejected.

Edited July 10, 2009 by lion

[Tayyeb_Jaan]

(salam)

Basically, mahr should not be a burden financially.

[jund_el_Mahdi]

I was under the impression that the mahr' doesn't have to be money. For example, I know a couple who married few years ago and she received al Qur'an as mahr. It was very beautiful mashallah :)

[AkbarHassan]

(salam)

Basically, mahr should not be a burden financially.

200k..xD

Imam Ali's (as) was 500 of whatever money they had. I think it became necessary to be given a mahr of at least that much?

Edited July 10, 2009 by AkbarHassan

[siraatoaliyinhaqqun]

Salam

The ideal amount set by Allah swt for a Momina is 500 dirhams according to imam reza a.s (one dirham is equal to 12 gms of silver)

Ya Ali Madad

[Musa]

i know its mustaheb to give 1/3 of your dowry to charity and 1/3 back to your husband for his business and 1/3 for yourself to keep.

[UnknownShia]

i heard those with least maher get more baraka in their marriage

Edited July 10, 2009 by AlgerianShia

[Tayyeb_Jaan]

200k..xD

Imam Ali's (as) was 500 of whatever money they had. I think it became necessary to be given a mahr of at least that much?

xD, nah it was much less, ill see if I can find the lecture

[hasy]

no actually i want to ask is that how much SHIAISM says that it should be, please if you can tell me that plus is it allowed in SHIAISM that girl's parent can demand huge amount of MAHER.

plus i asked that when you have to pay it according to SHIAISM.

Edited July 10, 2009 by hasy

[lion]

i dont think there is a limit but the point of the maher is not to purchase a woman its supposed to help her. like i said earlier i always thought that 10% of your yearly income is a good method.

[Marbles]

I was under the impression that the mahr' doesn't have to be money. For example, I know a couple who married few years ago and she received al Qur'an as mahr. It was very beautiful mashallah :)

That's easy man. Mine one can have two. Or three copies. :D

[wayfarer.]

^ woah.. easy there, tiger! one copy is sufficient. The recession ain't over yet..

Edited July 11, 2009 by Trailblazer

[*Slave of Zahra*]

no actually i want to ask is that how much SHIAISM says that it should be, please if you can tell me that plus is it allowed in SHIAISM that girl's parent can demand huge amount of MAHER.

plus i asked that when you have to pay it according to SHIAISM.

In Islam no fixed amount has been specified as mahr...it can be anything agreed upon by the two parties.

But it has been greatly encouraged that the woman not demand a weighty mahr. This is mustahab not wajib so for example if she does ask for an expensive mahr, it is not a sin on her part but if she asks for little, Allah will be pleased with her.

The payment becomes obligatory on the husband as soon as the matrimonial alliance has been entered into and the wife has the right to claim it from him immediately.

Again, like someone said above, it does not necessarily have to be money. The woman can ask for anything... for example some women ask to be taken for hajj as mahr. :)

[Anonymous-Male]

I was under the impression that the mahr' doesn't have to be money. For example, I know a couple who married few years ago and she received al Qur'an as mahr.

This trend of giving "Quran" and a "promise for hajj" as Mahr is common in Iran and Iraq. But in Pakistan, mahr is always monetary - it is never anything else. In fact, most people here do not even know that Mahr can be anything other than money and would be extremely surprised if they were told that someone got Quran as mahr!

Edited July 11, 2009 by Anonymous-Male

[hasy]

(bismillah)

(salam)

so there is no specific money in SHIAISM for MAHER.

[lion]

look man, just buy her a kitkat bar

Edited July 12, 2009 by lion

[shia.islam.ali]

The right amount of mahr is the amount the woman asks for and you agree to. Is it right spiritually to ask for ten million dirhams even if it is not a financial burden for the man who is a dirhamionnaire? I dont know. The best guidelines are the examples given by users here about what Imam Ali gave. I dont see anything mentioned about the ring he gave though and that should be your concern if you are living in a western town. I had been told and I didnt confirm this with reading yet but I had been told he gave Fatima a simple ring that might be like a simple $50 ring you could buy at just about any bazaar or store. In a western world the girls want rings that are equal to three months salary. That can hurt you if you forget about the ring and agree to mahr that your grandchildren will be paying. Oh and Imam Ali lived in what today may be considered a studio apartment or efficiency. I tell you this because you will have to negotiate the mahr yeah? Dont forget about the living space that is expected of you in a western world. This can be valuable since you can reduce the mahr amount by increasing the size of the house you will buy for your promissory wife. Increasing the house size you buy later in life can lower your mahr but you win too because you may want a bigger house anyway so its a win for all!!! Is Islam not FAIR!

[Ali Huzaifa]

i would give a blank check with my signature ON to wify (if she wants hehehe)...you know i am a lion heart guy. :D :lol:

so basically it all depends to whome you marrying ;)

Edited July 12, 2009 by Ali Huzaifa

[shia.islam.ali]

Oh I forgot to say congratulations on your getting married soon. May Allah bless you. Dont let the mahr talk get out of hand or you lose the real reward. She can forgive part of it too in writing you know dont forget to remind everyone of that and how a pious wife would do that for her husband. Is Islam not FAIR I ask you!

[guest110]

First of many congratulations on getting married , May Allah bles the two of you and both families with a wonderfull and fruitfull marriage life , bless you and your husband with wisdom , mutual respect and love , patience and ikhlaaq.

I am not sure if you are already married by the time you read this. I wont repeat what some of the brothers and sisters have mentioned but haq e meher is every girls islamic given right and its obligated that this should be asked from the girls side of the family with the girls consent agreeing to whatever amount or symbolic you put. As some mentioned you can agree from a kitkat chocolatebar / to hajj / quran or money. rother shia_islam_ali did raise some very good points.

You know what actually disturbs me is that when it comes to the haq e mehr question the guys (grooms) side of the family is always very interested and sometimes on their toes of how much the girls father or the girl herself will put. And girls not knowing their islamic rights and the unawareness of the duties they can even put in the nikah contract! Islam has given the woman so many rights , yet we are ussually uninformed about our rights and the terms (ofcourse these should be reasonable within islamic and cultural limits) and the only right we know is about the haq e meher!

Why is there so much emphasize on the amount rather then the duties the groom has to fullfill.....as i am aware (please correct me if i am wrong) that the Maulana will ask the groom the crucial questions if he is willing to feed her , to protect her , to respect her etc etc and also ask the girl wether she accepts it or not!

Haq e mehers sometimes (very often ) can become the talk of the town and how much the girl has demanded within our afghani or pakistani community , i know an occasion of two parties arguing and bargaining about the amount (like really as if its buying and selling a cow at the meat market) really it turned out to be very nasty and hot words were exchanged...

In some cultures and countries as i know from my morrocan friends that the haq e meher is given during or before the rukhsati , it is the gift/right given to the woman and she can do whatever she likes to do with it , investing for the future of her childeren , furniture in her new house etc etc etc I didnt know untill recently that according to islamic Shia Sharia laws the girl can ask/demand this ....But ussually from what i know is that within the pakistani culture and communities is that the haq e meher will be paid at divorce. The girl will be deprived of haq e meher if she asks for divorce except if the guy initiates the divorce...Lets say god forbids a divorce takes place what actual guarantee will you have that the guy will pay you haq e meher? and he will do everything to deprive you of your right , i know from personal experience and friends that it unfortunatly happens these days!

As a marriage is for the cause of god and to give protection to the woman , and gods laws are to protect us and make our life easier..... Its very good of you that you ask this question and think of it , as your nikah will be the most important and life decision in your life! I suggest to discuss about this with your family , parents ...you can discuss about it before the maulana asks you and put them as your guardian/lawyer ...in western countries a legal pre-nup marriage contract would be very usefull.

Ofcourse many examples can be given and there is no good or right answer on how much one should ask, but the reality in life is that some men do not fullfill their duties during marriage or even after marriage , they will make what it takes to create the girls life a living hell , deprive them financially , socially, legally and emotionally in every way! it is something u can fall back on and use if u are lets say god forbid divorced and have no financial income anymore

Both girl and boy should be well informed by our religious leaders . families and prepared by the inlaws of the realities , their duties / reponsibilities towards each other and the meaning of marriage !

I read somewhere a beautiful example given about our lady zainab as, that she put 2 conditions for her nikah , 1 that she would not be seperated from her brother imam hussain (as) (that she could see her brother everytime she wished as she loved her brother dearly) and 2cnd. that she would be allowed to go wherever imam hussain would go . Again this example shows that Islam gives women the right to choose and a say in our nikah

when i read this i was like omg wowwwwwww.and didnt even know about this......my father was sick and i had to take care of him and eventhough i asked my husbands permission after doing all the house chores and he would allow me , my mother in law would try everything not to take care of my sick father and bad mouth me about it ,,,,so i eventually gave up going there :( u cant imagine how hard it was on my heart! inshallah god forbid this for you and keep you safeguarded!

Whatever amount or estate you put for the haq e meher , when you get married you dont wish , expect and its unimaginable god forbid you will divorce but it can be very usefull in certain situations....

the times during the lifes of our imams and now have changed , think of fraud etc etc etc....my two cents of advice is communicate with your parents , the maulana , your husband and inlaws before u agree to anything.

the haq e mehr is totally up to you in which currency u want to ask.

these are some usefull and informative links to read .

http://www.dancewithshadows.com/society/ai...n-nikahmana.asp

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/shia-boa...nikahnama/5491/

http://www.africafederation.org/newlook/co...mp;articleid=95

This trend of giving "Quran" and a "promise for hajj" as Mahr is common in Iran and Iraq. But in Pakistan, mahr is always monetary - it is never anything else. In fact, most people here do not even know that Mahr can be anything other than money and would be extremely surprised if they were told that someone got Quran as mahr!

Not neccessarily but it does happen very often i am from pakistan and my haq put on my behalf e meher was hajj/umrah and quran. my inlaws insisted to put money so my father let the grooms grandfather decide .... It really depends on the family

[hasy]

(bismillah)

(salam)

the tradition of today's world demanding huge amounts of HAQ MAHAR, isnt it against islam/quran.

also mention.....

when you pay it according to SHIAISM believe.