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In the Name of God بسم الله

Some Good Advice From Young Ladies

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  • Advanced Member
An acquaintance or friendship with members of the opposite sex need not be some brotherly-sisterly relationship. It can go safe without that assumption. All that is needed is understanding, proper respect, self control and your place in the larger set up and you will always behave sanely. You may end up liking the person and propose. It is but natural. It is all good as long as it is done organically without involving any artificiality or bad intentions. Some kind of acquaintance with the members of the opposite sex, especially in school and workplace, is inevitable. One cannot hide. So my point of view is that instead of running away from girls as if they bite, men should show enough confidence to stand up and behave appropriately.

I agree with most of this however how often does "it go safe"? Often men end up wanting something else deeper than a plain friendship (from what I have noticed). Yes, there is nothing wrong if they want to know each other and they end up liking each other and want to get married, but what about already married people? Your theory then applies on non married people only? There is no need to hide or anything however men and women should try their best to keep their relationship as formal as possible so that non of them develop feelings that were not meant to be between them, one of them could be already married, one of them could be engaged and so on. Also even if non of them is engaged in a relationship, to how many men can we be friends openly at the same time? Then one of them propose, what do you do to the others who have developed feelings towards you? Just cut the friendship? Continue what is to you friendship to them something deeper?. Many questions and different challenging situations could come up and thus I think cutting it from the roots is safer, in other words keep the relationship formal, there is nothing wrong with that. Again if you (any man or any woman) feel something different for someone in University or in your workplace, and you're both non married that is a different scenario , very different from our point about close friendship between non mahrams etc.

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I agree with most of this however how often does "it go safe"? Often men end up wanting something else deeper than a plain friendship (from what I have noticed). Yes, there is nothing wrong if they want to know each other and they end up liking each other and want to get married, but what about already married people? Your theory then applies on non married people only? There is no need to hide or anything however men and women should try their best to keep their relationship as formal as possible so that non of them develop feelings that were not meant to be between them, one of them could be already married, one of them could be engaged and so on. Also even if non of them is engaged in a relationship, to how many men can we be friends openly at the same time? Then one of them propose, what do you do to the others who have developed feelings towards you? Just cut the friendship? Continue what is to you friendship to them something deeper?. Many questions and different challenging situations could come up and thus I think cutting it from the roots is safer, in other words keep the relationship formal, there is nothing wrong with that. Again if you (any man or any woman) feel something different for someone in University or in your workplace, and you're both non married that is a different scenario , very different from our point about close friendship between non mahrams etc.

OMG you have pushed me to the wall with so many difficult questions. :cry:

Lol jokes apart. . .as I said, if you know your place in the bigger set up, your commitments to others and yourself, you will always stay in line regardless of whether you are married or not. When you are unmarried, you tend to be more "open" and "friendlier" towards others due to the fact that you are not bound. When you are no longer single, you cannot afford to accord the same sort of 'friendliness' to your same friends. This would be the time to behave formally and reservedly. Also, I was speaking largely in context of the emboldened part of your post. Every scenario is different and has to be dealt with uniquely.

I see posts of confused young people who wonder how can they find a suitable life partner when it is a 'sin' to look at, speak to and laugh with members of the opposite sex, and of those who, in their bid to be religiously moral, run away from women [men in women's case] as if they bite or as if something calamitous would happen. This is a very unhealthy trend and needs to be done with. [At least] men with this mentality suffer to be good husbands and fail to develop a healthy relationship with their daughters - not to mention the lack of confidence and insecurities that come along with this attitude. It is this I was talking about.

Edited by Marbles
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