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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Midnight Garden

I'm curious... payback!

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(salam)

I guess I'll join.

First let me state there is no one that is perfect, but I think we should try to be the best we possibly can.

My positive list:

1. Loves to Read Quran and Prays on Time

2. To See Him Smile, instead of frowning, makes me think I’m making him happy

3. Tells me what he really wants, instead of letting me guess

4. Loves to Share His Thoughts and Feelings About Islam to his Wife (and to the people if he wants)

5. He comes for me to heal his wounds, after he has gone to Allah of course

6. Lets me in on his honest thoughts

7. Provides me Islamic comfort, such as, Noticing that he loves to remain on his prayer matt after his finished his prayer, instead of leaving it as soon as his said the last note of prayers.

8. Loves to share knowledge, his thoughts, and feelings with his wife, and is willing to discuss them

9. Appreciates his wife for providing him with comfort and peace

10. Speaks Arabic

11. Understands your point of view, and is willing to consider a change when the wife recommends it (ditto for the wife)

12. Does all he can to provide a healthy lifestyle for the wife, (children), and himself

13. Loves to listen to the Quran or recite it during the day

14. Loves to cuddle

15. Takes care of himself Mentally and Physically, of course lets me help :P

16. Speaks to me, instead of speaking down at me

17. Doesn’t mind taking long nice walks outside

18. Doesn’t hate rain, because I love rain, especially when you’re sleeping and you can hear it outside hitting the glass of your window.

19. Appreciates Art, since I paint I wouldn’t want a man who dislikes art

20. Respects others when they are present or not, by not speaking ill of them

21. Doesn’t mind being caught in the rain, :) I start walking when that happens.

22. Looks at life optimistically, instead of “I’m the victim”

23. Knows how to be in control

24. Knows how to make me feel safe

25. If he keeps his body hair, instead of removing it, men look their best natural

26. Likes to be surprised and is an easy laugher

27. Knows, however, when to be serious

28. Allows me to be the pilot instead of the co-pilot when the time is needed

29. Loves Hot Chocolate

30. Tells me his favourite type of food, and is willing to try new recipes, and gives me his Honest thoughts on my cooking

31. Likes to make Chocolate Chip Cookies, and is willing to act a little silly and child-like sometimes

32. Remembers that the one thing that makes me happy is seeing him happy

33. Putting his Shia Islam before his culture

34. Remembers to :) smile, I repeated this one, because I think it is very important.

They are in no particular order.

(wasalam)

we are very simple woman.

34 bullet points... n u call ur self a simple woman, man im wondering how long of a list a complicated one wud have :P

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I don't believe you guys are talking about hair! That's a discussion I'll never have with a guy! EH! And guys should try waxing sometimes just to get a feel of how much women sacrifice for them.. lool.. Laser is the best for both! Start saving money :P

Anyway An'nisa'.. the list is sooooo sweet! It'll be amazing if a guy does some nice stuff from time to time.. but believe me over romance will get annoying! My ex used to be super romantic and sensitive.. it was cute for a little while then he started getting on my nerves!

And u know An'nisa I thought of 2 meanings; miss or the girl's name anisa.. loool.. now it makes sense.. :)

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I don't believe you guys are talking about hair! That's a discussion I'll never have with a guy! EH! And guys should try waxing sometimes just to get a feel of how much women sacrifice for them.. lool.. Laser is the best for both! Start saving money :P

LOL true... there is anything wrong with guys waxing...its not ''unmanly''.

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Salam.

Trust me if anyone is mature here, its me, I thought it went without saying since I added a bunch of lolss and smiley faces, but I was only joking.

Wasalam

Oh - OK - my mistake :) I was worried that you were serious about all this :P And thought it was going to happen....

I found this and I wanted to share, a bunch of Romantic things to do. To keep Islamic Relationships strong (no more fights girls and guys) Feel Free to add to the list!

1. Watch the sunset together.

2. . Take showers together.

3. Back rubs/massages.

4. Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark or with backlight.

5. Hold your wife with hands inside the back of her shirt.

6. Whisper to each other.

7. Cook for each otherPost #145

8. Make out in the rain.

9. Dress each other.

10. Hold hands.

11. Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each other, Clean talk)

12. Sit and talk.

13. Buy gifts for each other.

14. Roses.

15. Wear your life mate’s favourite cologne/perfume every time you’re together.

16. Wear your husband’s clothes.

17. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the stars.

18. Incense/candles/oils/backlights and music make for great cuddling

19. Kiss at every chance you get.

20. Kinky is bad…Blindfolds are good.

21. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their jawbone just below the ear, then whisper “I love youâ€.

22. Bubble baths.

23. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.

24. Write poetry for each other.

25. Kiss and smell your wife’s hair.

26. Hugs are the universal medicine.

27. Say “I love youâ€, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.

28. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry, etc.

29. Tell your wife that she’s the only girl you ever want. Don’t lie.

30. Spend every second possible together.

31. Tell your wife that she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to. And mean it.

32. Look into each other’s eyes.

33. Very lightly push up your wife’s chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.

34. Talk to each other using only body language and your eyes.

35. Walk behind your wife and put your hands in her front pockets.

36. Put love notes in your life mate’s pockets when they aren’t looking.

37. Buy your wife a ring.

38. Keep something special of your wife’s/your husband’s somewhere where you see it every day.

39. Read to each other.

40. Take advantage of any time alone together.

41. Tell your wife about how you answered every question in math with her name. (Assuming you’re continuing your education).

42. Draw. (If you can.)

43. Let your wife sit on your lap.

44. Go hiking and camp out together in the woods or on a mountain.

45. Spaghetti… (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)

46. Hold your wife’s hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.

47. Tell your life mate you love the way they look right after they’ve fallen asleep, with their head in your lap.

48. Carry your wife to bed.

49. Waterbeds are fun.

50. Do cute things like write “I love you†in a note so that they have to look in the mirror to read it.

51. Make excuses to call your life mate repeatedly in one day.

52. Call from your business trip to tell your life mate you were thing about them.

53. Remember your dreams and tell your life mate about them.

54. Sit in your car in the driveway, honk, then blow your life mate a kiss as you leave for work.

55. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.

56. Share your deepest convictions.

57. Act out mutual fantasies together

58. Brush your wife’s hair out of her face for her.

59. Learn to listen.

60. Take your wife to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.

61. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear night.

62. Learn from each other and don’t make the same mistakes twice.

63. Everyone deserves a second chance.

64. Describe the joy you feel just to be with your life mate.

65. Make sacrifices for each other.

66. Really love each other.

67. Write a fictional story about how you met/fell in love, etc. and give it to your life mate.

68. Hot tubs are great.

69. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages, including sign language.

70. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.

71. Stand up for your life mate when someone says unkind things about them.

72. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say, �Sweet dreams.�

73. Shave your husband�s face.

74. Buy 11 real roses and one fake one�leave a note that says I�ll love you until the last rose dies

75. Kiss your mate on their forehead

Edited by Maryaam

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Nothing wrong with guys waxing? How about we try and share your pain by taking 4 hours to dress also, and do our hair for eternity and spend a good 50 min trying to match our outfits and run around the neighborhood for hours asking people if our outfits look perfect. That's whats wrong with waxing, and IT IS un manly. Just because your freakish Hollywood attitude calls out for shaved chests, DO NOT try to fool the majority into thinking that there is NOTHING un manly about it.

And WONDERER, women do not sacrifice for us, trust me a woman can stay single all her life, she will still wax the [Edited Out] out of herself. Not that im complaining, but please, there is no need for us to return the favor, cuz it ain't a favor in the first place, its just nature taking its course...

OMG ROFL AT AN NISAS second on the dot MABAGAZILLION long list of things that would GUARANTEE DIVORCE...

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Hustler! U have some experience with women.. two choice u either had like a real demanding wife or couple of annoying sisters�loooooooool.. and I can't have the hair convo with u on public.. looool.. :P but I have some good replies that'll keep to myself for the moment..

And dan you too seems that u had a weird relationship before.. but let me tell you this everyone is VERY DIFFERENT.. so you can't generalize

Edited by wonderer

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(salam)

I guess I'll join.

First let me state there is no one that is perfect, but I think we should try to be the best we possibly can.

My positive list:

1. Loves to Read Quran and Prays on Time

2. To See Him Smile, instead of frowning, makes me think I’m making him happy

3. Tells me what he really wants, instead of letting me guess

4. Loves to Share His Thoughts and Feelings About Islam to his Wife (and to the people if he wants)

5. He comes for me to heal his wounds, after he has gone to Allah of course

6. Lets me in on his honest thoughts

7. Provides me Islamic comfort, such as, Noticing that he loves to remain on his prayer matt after his finished his prayer, instead of leaving it as soon as his said the last note of prayers.

8. Loves to share knowledge, his thoughts, and feelings with his wife, and is willing to discuss them

9. Appreciates his wife for providing him with comfort and peace

10. Speaks Arabic

11. Understands your point of view, and is willing to consider a change when the wife recommends it (ditto for the wife)

12. Does all he can to provide a healthy lifestyle for the wife, (children), and himself

13. Loves to listen to the Quran or recite it during the day

14. Loves to cuddle

15. Takes care of himself Mentally and Physically, of course lets me help :P

16. Speaks to me, instead of speaking down at me

17. Doesn’t mind taking long nice walks outside

18. Doesn’t hate rain, because I love rain, especially when you’re sleeping and you can hear it outside hitting the glass of your window.

19. Appreciates Art, since I paint I wouldn’t want a man who dislikes art

20. Respects others when they are present or not, by not speaking ill of them

21. Doesn’t mind being caught in the rain, :) I start walking when that happens.

22. Looks at life optimistically, instead of “I’m the victim”

23. Knows how to be in control

24. Knows how to make me feel safe

25. If he keeps his body hair, instead of removing it, men look their best natural

26. Likes to be surprised and is an easy laugher

27. Knows, however, when to be serious

28. Allows me to be the pilot instead of the co-pilot when the time is needed

29. Loves Hot Chocolate

30. Tells me his favourite type of food, and is willing to try new recipes, and gives me his Honest thoughts on my cooking

31. Likes to make Chocolate Chip Cookies, and is willing to act a little silly and child-like sometimes

32. Remembers that the one thing that makes me happy is seeing him happy

33. Putting his Shia Islam before his culture

34. Remembers to :) smile, I repeated this one, because I think it is very important.

They are in no particular order.

(wasalam)

Sa, InshAllah u r well,

Might be a lot to take in but atleast its a good insight.

Ahsant

I was talking to my friend about this and he said ofcourse we all want a religious wife including many of the above points the sister has listed(note that we have to be religious ourselves hence "compatibility") but all that can come in later. "Go for someone with good akhlaq", my friend said.

Duas greatly needed,

Ws.

Edited by YaMahdiAdrikni

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LOL omg

that list was just soooo :squeez:

Mann, some women are just so picky...

Nothing wrong with guys waxing? How about we try and share your pain by taking 4 hours to dress also, and do our hair for eternity and spend a good 50 min trying to match our outfits and run around the neighborhood for hours asking people if our outfits look perfect. That's whats wrong with waxing, and IT IS un manly. Just because your freakish Hollywood attitude calls out for shaved chests, DO NOT try to fool the majority into thinking that there is NOTHING un manly about it.

well thts jsut cuz women dress to impress and wanna actually work hard to look good

plus its always harder for a girl to find the right clothes to wear rather than just men -_-

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i am not those girls that will give u a list of hundred things because if u are picky then u might not get much and a guy isnt gonna come on ur terms.. but for me honestly a good muslim shia would be more than enough and that is the hardest thing to find in a guy... so i dont care how he dresses, how he talks but all i can care for is his fear of Allah (SWT)

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10. Hold hands.

I don't know, that's asking a little too much.

Agreed.

I am going to Lebnan either this summer or next and bringing back a wife.

Translation: If I marry someone from the U.S. she might want me to wax my chest :cry:

:lol:

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Translation: If I marry someone from the U.S. she might want me to wax my chest :cry:

:lol:

LOOL

Bonafide's worst nightmare!

Dan why don't you practice what you preach to your friends and do the same for yourself then? :P

;) you know what I'm talking about :Hijabi:

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(bismillah)

(salam)

THE GUYS FIGHT BACK :P :P

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

( I must admit, it's pretty good.) 

We always hear" the rules"

>From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. 

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!  1.  Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one: 

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something 

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. 

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SOCCER, the shotgun formation,

or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.. 

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 1. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. 1. All points are marked as point no. (1), becoz all points are equally Important. There is no thing as More Important or less Important.

Pass this to as many men as you can -

to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh 

Wasallam( the views mentioned above are not of this poster, its just a copy paste job.....LOL....... :lol: :lol: )

Edited by fahim

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1. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work!

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

I agree!

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LOOL

Bonafide's worst nightmare!

Dan why don't you practice what you preach to your friends and do the same for yourself then? :P

;) you know what I'm talking about :Hijabi:

zahroo.... u know too much abt me :P

iA iA :)

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Next week there is a lecture about boy and girl relationship in Islam. And last friday, we had these kids coming in with a video camera and interviewed a few people on what they think about marriage. One of the people that they interviewed was our khatib. So he asked whether if his wife is going to watch this video (cause the video is going to be aired on the day of lecture). So then he said if my wife watch this then Oh my God marriage is the best thing in my life and I am so happy about... but if my wife is not watching then.... it's okaaaayyyyy

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Guest Zahrah
PAYBACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! loljk!!!!!!!!!!11111ONEONEONE

Women, what do you look for in a husband? Feel free to list as many likes and dislikes.

Example:

Likes:

1. Pays me $1000 every week

2. Extra hairy

3. Cooks everyday, three times a day

4. Does all the housework while I do nothing

Dislikes:

1. Doesn't pay attention to me 24/7

2. Doesn't give me $1000 every week

3. Insults my cooking :mad:

Ready? :!!!: (all jokes aside, try to be as honest as possible. And no, this is not meant to be payback lol)

A true lover, captive and slave of Ahlolbayt A that never puts anything in priority but Ahlolbay A and their orders, without any biased, justifying excuses.

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i used to think like you :) But now that I am (feel) 99 years old - have some wisdom and have had a reality check.

I know it is just posts on a forum - but - it is helpful to read some of the threads written by married women in the sisters and family forum. You also need to read the thinly veiled jokes about women by men...I am surprised at how far they go to get their point across. Asphyxiated and some-dude are being honest and up front.

The best you can do is to develop your life to the best of your ability and have strategies and plans to meet your own needs for love and companionship and sense of fulfillment. It is possible that you wont get these in marriage from your husband. I think the biggest mistake is entering a marriage expecting this - you need to meet your own needs. If you get these needs met within marriage, it is a bonus. I am not saying that you won't and you will do your best to bring that romance into your marriage, but please dont set yourself up for a fall.

Very wise. I was going through the posts and feeling depressed because the sisters with the lists will have to wake up to the reality one day and the longer your list, the worse it is gonna be for you.

But sis Maryaam, how can anyone fulfill the need for love/ companionship on their own? What do you mean by that?

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i gave up on woman a loooooong time ago.

so im sitting with my proffesor having lunch and she tells me '' you're paying?'' im like yes, she goes like ''how much do you get paid a week?''

i wanted to pick up the dishes and throw it on her face. cant believe she said that infront of my professor.

Edited by lion

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Very wise. I was going through the posts and feeling depressed because the sisters with the lists will have to wake up to the reality one day and the longer your list, the worse it is gonna be for you.

But sis Maryaam, how can anyone fulfill the need for love/ companionship on their own? What do you mean by that?

What I meant was not to set yourself up for a fall...as you are saying here as well. By fulfilling love and companionship on your own, I meant to ensure that you have these needs met through others in your life, at your own initiative - through your friends and family if you have them.

Nurture and support relationships in addition to your spouse. I think women get a lot of support through other women, participants in activities and interests that you share. I didn't mean that you would meet these needs in isolation by yourself - I guess that is how it sounded LOL Women often marry hoping that one's spouse would be their best friend and closest confidante and supplier of unconditional love - but that is not always the case...and perhaps a little on the romantic side. For many (not all) men, a marriage is closer to a business arrangement or life necessity or an accepted responsibility, nothing more.

It is important to maintain your own interests and friendships.

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