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In the Name of God بسم الله

Men are the reason

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Us, Arab Men... or let me say eastern muslim men in general... are hypocrites...or just ignorant to say the least...

Most of us, say 95%, spend our youth chasing girls... and getting into relationships with mainly, EASTERN MUSIM girls.. then when we decide to get married, we try to find a girl who has never been touched... so we convince ourselves. And we complain that there arent any good girls around anymore... well... since 95% of men are engaging in such relationships before marraige, what men fail to realize, is that they are engaging in those relationships with WOMEN. it takes 2 to tango...

Women are in need of physical and emotional connections just as we are in need of them... just cuz a girl has had a past relationship and maybe committed some sins in her life,does not mean that she would make a bad wife. Marriage is an issue related to the essence of the person, whether the 2 r compatible mentally, intellectually, physically etc... whether they could see themselves with each other... I know of men who leaves girls they LOVE because she agreed to get physical with HIM. he loves her, convinces her to love him, makes a move on her when shes in her most vulnerable situation... and then leaves her cuz she agreed to touch him... and then goes for another girl whom he knows nothing bout her past. And just cuz his mother says this girl is from a good family, he assumes she has never been touched... i say, if ure in love,and u commit a mistake, ask for forgiveness and marry the girl if she loves u,and get over our stupid cultural ideas.

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The circumstances are getting more and more bad in Pakistan/Lahore but i do not think that the situation has become so grave. However, a man crosses the limit when the woman allows it. I do not say that we can not blame men, rather i am seeing both of them are equally involved.

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Dude you're saying it like the girls are being raped, they're also part of the whole decision-making process. If a young man or young woman has sinned, they've come to the decision mutually. Unless one has been raped, it's ridiculous to place the entire blame on the guy, females aren't exactly totally innocent.

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Us, Arab Men... or let me say eastern muslim men in general... are hypocrites...or just ignorant to say the least...

Most of us, say 95%, spend our youth chasing girls... and getting into relationships with mainly, EASTERN MUSIM girls.. then when we decide to get married, we try to find a girl who has never been touched... so we convince ourselves. And we complain that there arent any good girls around anymore... well... since 95% of men are engaging in such relationships before marraige, what men fail to realize, is that they are engaging in those relationships with WOMEN. it takes 2 to tango...

Women are in need of physical and emotional connections just as we are in need of them... just cuz a girl has had a past relationship and maybe committed some sins in her life,does not mean that she would make a bad wife. Marriage is an issue related to the essence of the person, whether the 2 r compatible mentally, intellectually, physically etc... whether they could see themselves with each other... I know of men who leaves girls they LOVE because she agreed to get physical with HIM. he loves her, convinces her to love him, makes a move on her when shes in her most vulnerable situation... and then leaves her cuz she agreed to touch him... and then goes for another girl whom he knows nothing bout her past. And just cuz his mother says this girl is from a good family, he assumes she has never been touched... i say, if ure in love,and u commit a mistake, ask for forgiveness and marry the girl if she loves u,and get over our stupid cultural ideas.

Ok, so it's the girls too. Thanks for your insightful message.

Every so often some guy joins this website, and starts off telling us how men are the scum of the world, no ulterior motives of course.

Edited by Dirac Delta function
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Ok, so it's the girls too. Thanks for your insightful message.

Every so often some guy joins this website, and starts off telling us how men are the scum of the world, no ulterior motives of course.

Umm.. no it isn't the girls - it is the MEN. -_- If you take the proper time to read further and more thoroughly on the Shiachat forum, you will find that women are pretty much flawless. :angel:

Edited by Maryaam
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Dude you're saying it like the girls are being raped, they're also part of the whole decision-making process. If a young man or young woman has sinned, they've come to the decision mutually. Unless one has been raped, it's ridiculous to place the entire blame on the guy, females aren't exactly totally innocent.

I think the originator is correct that the men pressure girls when they are most vulnerable. How many of us men have said stuff like "You love me don't you" or "Please I can't stand it any more" and the threatening "Just being around you makes me crazy for it and being around you is more than I can bear" the threat to put out or I have to move on. It takes two to tango but the women don't put the presure on like men.

Peace

Satyaban

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I think the originator is correct that the men pressure girls when they are most vulnerable. How many of us men have said stuff like "You love me don't you" or "Please I can't stand it any more" and the threatening "Just being around you makes me crazy for it and being around you is more than I can bear" the threat to put out or I have to move on. It takes two to tango but the women don't put the presure on like men.

Peace

Satyaban

Absolutely. However, when you have women parading themselves around town, they're pretty much begging to be 'pressured' into something. And it's kind of difficult to prove the girl's innocence when she's ready to give in so quickly...

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Absolutely. However, when you have women parading themselves around town, they're pretty much begging to be 'pressured' into something. And it's kind of difficult to prove the girl's innocence when she's ready to give in so quickly...

I think a lot of these girls are not fully aware of what they are parading other than it gives them some sense of power. They are not sure what they want other than attention from men (probably dont have a strong dad or committed brothers). By the time they figure it out, they have gone over to the dark side...

On the other hand, men (boys?) have a very clear idea of what they want.

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^I agree, attention from men is exactly what they want. The part where our opinions differ is that you're making excuses for them parading themselves around. Power is exactlty it, they understand how to get the power and understand quite clearly what it can be used for. Unfortunately in our society, in the end that power works out for both genders.

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All i was trying 2 say,is that a girl who sinned is not worse than a man who sinned... men are tempting to women exactly like women are tempting to men and both are equally involved when they get carried away. But our societies tend to view a girl who sinned once in her life worse than a man who has sinned numerous numbers of times. In Islam, both have sinned equally,and this is why they have equal punishments. Some people forget that women also have sex drives and men can seduce them exactly like women seduce men.

I am just trying 2 point out that certain sexual sins related to our desires, i find are worse than backbiting people, stealing, cheating, etc. and our societies should become less harsh in judging people who could be great human beings and treat people respectfully and are loved by every1, but have sinned some time in their life due to late marriage, sexual pressure, strong attachment.. etc.

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^I agree, attention from men is exactly what they want. The part where our opinions differ is that you're making excuses for them parading themselves around. Power is exactlty it, they understand how to get the power and understand quite clearly what it can be used for. Unfortunately in our society, in the end that power works out for both genders.

I wasn't making excuses - just thinking why they would degrade themselves like that and the girls I knew that were like that did not have a strong male in their life. I think that fathers and brothers need to play a strong role in the lives of the women in their family as girls are more influenced by emotional rather than physical need and can be very vulnerable. When one feels they have little power or importance they go looking for it from someone else...sometimes not in the smartest ways.

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When men give women just a little bit of attention they go a bit :wacko: and thats it they want more of it, I've seen it happen to people I know and it's really strange how they can change just like that especially when they were the quite ones! :!!!: Some women however can control themselves and not let it get to their heads

Men could blame the way women dress but really it doesn't matter what the girl dresses like I know Hijabi's who dress pretty decent who date men!

Plus men are very forward when it comes to stuff like this, not saying women aren't but men do set the ball rolling.

On the other hand there are women who will go around looking for this kind of attention usually the ones who don't have an ounce of decency in them!

It's not really clear who is to blame because not everyone's situation is the same :)

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