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In the Name of God بسم الله

Public show of affection

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Muslim couple????

no wayyy

Don't pass your own rulings.

Question: On embarking on a journey or coming back, a Muslim traveller embraces and kisses his wife in public. Is this permissible for him?

Answer: It is not harãm to do that, if the rules of appropriate covering [of the clothes] and hijãb are observed and as long as it does not entice lust [in other people]; it is preferable to refrain from this kind of behaviour.

http://www.najaf.org/english/book/5/

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Whatever the ruling, I think that PDA is rude. I know that it's acceptable in American culture, but I also know (from talking to other non-Muslim people) that the single people (some, not all) in the American culture don't necessarily appreciate PDA. It's just uncomfortable.

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Whatever the ruling, I think that PDA is rude. I know that it's acceptable in American culture, but I also know (from talking to other non-Muslim people) that the single people (some, not all) in the American culture don't necessarily appreciate PDA. It's just uncomfortable.

I don't think people are uncomfortable with couples holding hands, or a quick kiss hello/goodbye, the same way you might embrace a friend. Personally I think it's weird if couples don't do those things. Anything much more than this is inappropriate. I think the ruling is quite straight forward.

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^Some people still are uncomfortable with that. I would hate to see that kind of PDA from my parents.

It's definitely weird if couples don't do those things, but it's only weird if they don't do them at all-- this includes in private. I know that a lot of older generation folks only do those types of things in private-- it doesn't mean they don't do them. I personally prefer couples to act like brothers and sisters in front of me.

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There is nothing wrong with holding hands. It is a natural feeling to show the most basic of affection to your spouse, and Islam does not clamp down on such feelings when it comes to affection and 'warmth'.

However, Islam draws the line when it comes to feelings of intimacy and passion one may have with the spouse, keeping in mind the well being of others in the society such acts of lust should absolutely be avoided in public areas.

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That's cultural. It would seem weird to me if a couple didn't at least hold hands in public, and even greet each other with a quick kiss

How strange!

It would seem weird to me if a couple DID hold hands in public!

The most important thing is that it is forbidden to engage in this kind of behavior if you believe it will cause others to lust, and even if you dont think it would do so, it is still preferable to refrain from this kind of behaviour. Decency and modesty are the hallmarks of our religion.

But it is understandable that people living in the west are exposed to so much indecency and immorality in their socities that for them, couples merely holding hands or kissing is just a norm and nothing shameless. Islam however teaches us that such acts be avoided because it is our duty to make sure that we do nothing which can excite the slightest bit of lust in others.

Edited by Miqdad Zaidi
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^That's cultural. It would seem weird to me if a couple didn't at least hold hands in public, and even greet each other with a quick kiss, but I am annoyed and offended by those people who seem to not distinguish between public and private.

The extent of my anti-PDA preference began culturally for me, but evolved into personal preference-- not borne from my cultural upbringing but from my singleness and my desire not to be reminded on a daily basis about my singleness. Before I didn't used to mind PDA as much as I do now, only because my singleness is becoming more and more salient as I grow older.

Edited by BabyBeaverIsAKit
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^That's cultural. It would seem weird to me if a couple didn't at least hold hands in public, and even greet each other with a quick kiss, but I am annoyed and offended by those people who seem to not distinguish between public and private.

Agreed. I like seeing a muslim couple holding hands, it makes them seem less caveman and cold.

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i hate when people put their cultures above Islam

If a person believes others will lust over his wife if he kisses her in public, then it is HARAM for him to do so.

Now, if someone doesnt believe such action will cause others to lust, then sure he can go ahead do whatever he likes! But do keep in mind that even in this case, Islam advises against such PDA - as the marja has said in the fatwa quoted above.

If there is nothing wrong in PDA, then why is it forbidden when there is danger of others lusting.....and why is it discouraged even when you think others will not lust?

This shows that refraining from PDA is not merely cultural; it is a part of Islamic modesty and shame.

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No PDA? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_digital_assistant

That is rediculous. I refuse to marry a woman without a PDA. If she is not into technology she is not worth it.

Seriously, if ones Marja's says public displays of affection is fine so long as it does not lead to lust in others, lol, whatever that means

then what Islam says goes and what our cultures say should take a back seat.

Honestly what does this "lust" restriction mean anyway? There is fear of people looking at your wife with lust even if she walks down the street so what, she shouldn't walk down the street?

How would one even know if you kiss your wife in public that it creates lust in others? Now if other women are lusting after me that is understandable. lol.

I agree, this anti-PDA culture is cold and caveman like. In some cultures women walk behind their husbands!

When I see my wife off at the airport I always give her a big hug and a kiss. If that makes your lusts go through the roof then move

back to Pakistan and chew some pan. lol.

It is abnormal for PDA to create lust in people unless you are undessing each other or something in public. lol.

PDA is fine in Islam in most situations among normal people. If you are among abnormal people, like around most people

in the Pakistani grocery store, yeah you better have your wife walk behind you. can't take a chance with pakistani lusts.

don't want to give the impression to the desis that your wife is a loose woman. lol.

on a side note, if your parents don't display their affection for one another in front of their kids, then how will the kids learn how to show affection to their spouses in the future?

i grew up in a very affectionate family. i guess that is why i am very affectionate too. i don't shy away from hugging and kissing my wife in front of my kids or even wrestling with her if she is being bad. lol.

i want my kids to see that. i want them to learn that women are affectionate creatures and they need to constantly be reminded that they are loved.

sorry to say this but if your culture is anti-PDA your culture is anti-Islam. Drop your rediculous culture and adopt Islam as your way of life.

if Islam says something is allowed you must learn to tolerate and respect that even if it goes against your culture.

i hate when people put their cultures above Islam, don't u?

PDA may be allowed in Islam, but so is being anti-PDA. Both are Islamically correct. Culture and Islam are not in disagreement in this case. (PDA=public display of affection-- doesn't mean you can't do it privately.)

As for hand-holding, what about disabled persons? What about in crowded environments in which there is risk of separation? Holding a person's hand can be affectionate, or it can be protective or seeking protection. Personally, I get very nervous in crowded places and would appreciate my husband taking my hand, and I would do the same for my child regardless of age especially if I know he doesn't do well in crowds.

I'm not entirely against all hand-holding, I'm just not comfortable with the kind where a husband and wife do it publicly (or where someone else can see them, like me) out of affection. (That doesn't mean I wouldn't do it once I got married, lol. I know, hypocritical, I just don't like being reminded regularly that I am single. It's selfish, I know. But I know I'm not the only one who feels like this, and I think couples should be sensitive to other people's feelings. It's not like they're restricted from never displaying affection, it's just not necessary to do it in front of a single person. You wouldn't do it in front of a person who just broke up with their boyfriend or in front of someone who just went through a divorce, so why do it in front of a person who has had a hard time in the area of love?) It's also kind of worse if it's someone I know who is doing it while I'm hanging out with them because then I feel like the third wheel-- then I think it borders on rude. Of course, it also depends on how the husband and wife behave in the presence of single people in social situations-- whether they ignore them or include them in their conversations. I don't mind husbands and wives having their own private conversations, but there is a time and place for that.

Edited by BabyBeaverIsAKit
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alslaam alaikum

Without reading any rulings on this manner its obvious that if the so called affection is a lustful one then it would arouse lust in others so its haraam.

Even if its not lustful and wouldnt arouse lust in others I have allways avoided such actions in my life because we have to consider the feelings of the other people...

There are unmarried, deprived and misfortunate people who can not find marriage walking in the street so its not the nicest thing to create envy or hurt in thier hearts. plus you can hold and kiss your wife as much as you want in your own privacy.... why do you HAVE to do it in public??? is it to do with other people seeing you ??? show off maybe? ego? is that the only cjhance youll ever get to kiss ??? or you cant hold your feeling for a little bit until you go home?

you cant go in a park or empty place and do it ?

its similar to eth concept of eating food in public. if i go to Zimbabwe's street and just hold choclates or pizza in my hands and start eating infront of the kids,,

of course the general answer is yes its hallal because its not lustful but in our situations today with our marriage systems so currupted the people are deprived and it would cause bad effects.

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alslaam alaikum

Without reading any rulings on this manner its obvious that if the so called affection is a lustful one then it would arouse lust in others so its haraam.

Even if its not lustful and wouldnt arouse lust in others I have allways avoided such actions in my life because we have to consider the feelings of the other people...

There are unmarried, deprived and misfortunate people who can not find marriage walking in the street so its not the nicest thing to create envy or hurt in thier hearts. plus you can hold and kiss your wife as much as you want in your own privacy.... why do you HAVE to do it in public??? is it to do with other people seeing you ??? show off maybe? ego? is that the only cjhance youll ever get to kiss ??? or you cant hold your feeling for a little bit until you go home?

you cant go in a park or empty place and do it ?

its similar to eth concept of eating food in public. if i go to Zimbabwe's street and just hold choclates or pizza in my hands and start eating infront of the kids,,

of course the general answer is yes its hallal because its not lustful but in our situations today with our marriage systems so currupted the people are deprived and it would cause bad effects.

ahaahah how considerate of you brother.

I don't see the big issue, so long as it isn't excessive, I would not get uncomfortable at all. I don't see how being single is really relevant here, you either find the beaviour offensive or not.

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