Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
ShiaChat.com
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

Having a wife who does not wear Hijab

Rate this topic


Recommended Posts

(salam)

If a Man sincerely tries to convince his wife to wear Hijab and she refuses, is the man obligated to divorce her?

Is it considered a sin to marry a woman who does not wear hijab in the first place?

I dont understand the logic of this reasoning and i question wether this reason would be legitimate !

Hypthothetically it would come to this :

Guy marries a girl of whom he knows that she isnt wearing the hijab (before marriage ) he still decides to get married to her and after a while whatever the reason may be (cultural or religious or familly pressure ) he realises hijab is a must he himself doesnt grow a beard he wears halve sleeves t-shirts but does expect her to change herself because he ''Sincerely'' wants to?

He tries to convince his wife ,,,the wife doesnt want to because it was never a problem when they got married and the guy himself doesnt observe the proper hijab !

The guy sees his wifes mates in abayas and thinks oh i want that too or he just is fed up with her and decides to go dump her convincing himself that he is divorcing her coz she isnt wearing hijab!

I would say to any man to take a close look in the mirror first! and question yourself how'' hijabi'' or ''ho-jabi'' you actually are!

IF the man wishes his wife to observe hijab why didnt he mention this before they got married or was he expecting that she would change according to his wishes ? Isnt wearing hijab because of serving Allah?

Where is the free will in this situation ? You can not force some 1 to do something this would be actually unislamic! Should she do it because her husbands wants it to ? *without having any meaning and purpose ? or should she wear it because she wants to wear it for herself and her lord?

Whats your definition of hijab? i know many women who may not wear the veil but are true muslimahs in deen , heart, akhlaq , proper modest dressing but are far more ''hijabi'' compared to the hijabis i see in multi color headscarfs and unfortunatly i see many ho-jabis who do the proper veil and everything yet doing things that goes totally against all odds not to mention crossing all islamic limits!

I wear hijab out of personal conviction , i am absolutly not saying that a woman should not do hijab and neither am i demeaning hijabis! In fact in my personal opinion hijab is a liberation which gives more freedom for women!

If you want your wife to serve Allah by observing hijab? then ask yourself how hijabi/islamic is the environment you are living in , how hijabi or islamic are you living ?

Isnt talaq the most disliked by Allah . as he has said that it angers Allah from the arsh of his throne? So how can u demand your wife serving Allah while you dont or even make the upmost effort and having sabar? Not only as a muslim but also as a partner.

It would be a different question suppose if your wife would take of her hijab after you get married to her , or doesnt hijab in modesty ,, manners and akhlaq *gossiping thinking evil about others '* , cheating the spouse or showing herself to other men !

i just feel a shame that in this time and age talaq seems to be the easiest sollution to get rid of a problem!

*btw ignore all the grammer mistakes*

Question :

Is it a sin to marry a man who does not hijab! ?

come 1 be more specific what do you actually mean with hijab?!

Edited by Queen_Punk
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
(salam)

If a Man sincerely tries to convince his wife to wear Hijab and she refuses, is the man obligated to divorce her?

Is it considered a sin to marry a woman who does not wear hijab in the first place?

Salam,,,

My opinion ... No it is not obligated to divorce her .... try with her and try to convince her but to divorce her only for this NO, and i dunt think it is a SIN to marry a non-hijabi woman as long as she is good in akhlaq and all.Also i dint read any where that this is a sin or to divorce if she doznt want to wear hijab but they prefer to marry with one hijabi (correct me friends if am wrong)

Queen-Punk, I agree with you. You explained exactly what i wanted to say :)

Allah Hafiz

Edited by fari
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Well I'm no sheikh so I can't say 100%...but I think if she does not observe hijab before marriage, yet agrees to you that she will observe hijab after marriage...I think that is quite technically a contract and not allowed to be broken. But if it's not specified, I don't think it's WAJIB to divorce her....

Link to post
Share on other sites
(salam)

If a Man sincerely tries to convince his wife to wear Hijab and she refuses, is the man obligated to divorce her?

Is it considered a sin to marry a woman who does not wear hijab in the first place?

I dont think thats a legitimate reason to divorce your wife... remember Allah(swt) is the One Who will judge her for its her individual sin ... hijab is for women for her protection and by not observing that she is hurting herself along with the attention she is getting also... let Allah(swt) judge her, you keep your good akhlaq with her and fulfill your responsibilities... in End everyone will be subject to their own choices...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Sometimes its very difficult for women to wear hijab. i know it was for me then i started thinking about it asked Allah to help me and he made it easy.

maybey you should let your wife think about this herself. wearing hijab is between her and Allah and if you try to force her to wear it by saying you will divorce her then she won't get the reward from Allah for thinking of putting it on herself.

just let her think about it, and don't pressure her show her how beautiful (spiritually) hijab is and Inshallah she will wear it on her own.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

(salam)

First of all, I would like to clarify one thing: I am not married, this is just a hypothetical scenario.

Now, the reason I started to wonder about this is because I remember reading a hadeeth one time stating something along the lines of:

"A woman takes three people with her to hell: her Father, her Brother and her Husband"

I can't for the life of me remember where the hadeeth was from, and I'm not even sure of it's validity, I just remember that I read it somewhere :S

Maybe someone who has come across this hadeeth can provide a reference.

Anyway, after thinking about that hadeeth I started thinking about a husband's responsibility towards his family.

Obviously, the husband (as well as the wife) are obligated to "Al Amr Bil Ma'roof wal Nahy 'an al Munkar", in other words: to preach what is obligatory and to forbid what is haram.

So it's clear a husband is obligated to TRY and convince his wife about wearing a hijab, but the question is; will he be off the chain if he fails or is he still obligated to do something about it in accordance to the above stated hadeeth?

Come to think about it, the wife of Prophet Lut (as) was not a believer, but he (as) was never ordered to divorce her (the Quranic story informs us that she was handed punishment along with all the other non-believers)

Furthermore, a muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian or a Jewish woman, as long as he ensures the kids get an Islamic upbringing.

So I guess, according to that fact, logic states that if a man is allowed to marry a non-muslim he sure is allowed to marry a muslim non-hijabi.

I hope someone with knowledge on the subject can shed some light on this.

w.salam

Edited by MAK
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Salam aliekum. No one would have to go through this kind of situation if he marries a pious muslimah to begin with. I think it's important to have a partner who observes Islam as a whole especially when it comes to matters of modesty and hijab. My mother used to know a sister who refused to observe proper hijab until her late thirties and now her daughters refuse to do it even though the mother is now encouraging them.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

One thing the older, married people always say is that you cannot expect to change your spouse, and one thing the younger, unmarried people hope is that they can change the one that they marry. Listen to the married people, they say it for a reason!

Also, men are an integral part of hijab. Nowadays, there are more and more males marrying non-hijabis. They need to consider that the reason they might be attracted to non-hijabis is precisely because she is committing haram by not wearing hijab. Hijab is an important part of a woman's dignity, so do they really want to start their marriage this way? Also, if the religious men don't marry the hijabis, then who will? This will just send the message to the next generation that to get married, one must not wear hijab. There are already girls who have grown up wearing hijab, but then take it off so that they can attract a man and get married-- that defeats the purpose of hijab! Let's not add to that group of girls by exacerbating the problem and marrying non-hijabis. And the men, by marrying non-hijabis, are imho not doing their part to support hijab.

One more thing-- it's not about what's allowed but what's optimal. Is it really optimal for your future children if you marry a lady who may not wear hijab in the future?

Edited by BabyBeaverIsAKit
Link to post
Share on other sites

marryin a non hijabi will affect the decending generations afterwards. ex: if a man who observes hijab marries a woman who does not observe hijab and they have a daughter, the wife might not want the daughter to wear hijab either, (and by wht ur all sayn, since the man didnt have to divorce his wife bc she didnt wna go by his words nd wear the hijab after marriage) then the daughter cud potentially go on the path of her mother and even worse off she cud do the same with her daughter etc etc.

Look how much wrong doing has been caused all bc the man thot it okay if his wife dusnt wear hijab...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Its a husband's responsibility to make sure his wife wears the scarf. But if he does everything in his power to make her put it on and she still refuses, i dont think he gets blamed if she continues to not wear it? (unless he's meant to forbid her from going out?)

I'm going to throw this spanner in for people who are only assuming women who weren't wearing the scarf before marriage, what about the instance where the chick is originally a hijiabi but takes it off after the marriage?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

It's not impossible for a woman to wear hijab before marriage and then take it off afterward but it's not as likely as the situation where a woman wears hijab before marriage and maintains it after marriage.

Edited by BabyBeaverIsAKit
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
It's not impossible for a woman to wear hijab before marriage and then take it off afterward but it's not as likely as the situation where a woman wears hijab before marriage and maintains it after marriage.

Really? Come to Australia and see how common its become :(

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
"A woman takes three people with her to hell: her Father, her Brother and her Husband"
I have been biting my tongue all day, but I cannot continue. That is one of the most misogynistic things I have ever read on this site. And you don't even have a cite for it!

How can you even think such a horrible thing about half the people in the world?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

^Methinks you misunderstood it. It doesn't insinuate that all women are heading to hell, or that every single brother, father, and husband of those women who go to hell will share the same fate. It insinuates that those women that don't lead proper lives drag the men closest to them in their lives down with them. Is this a matter of hatred of women? Not at all. The message of the saying is that ladies have tremendous sway over their husbands, their brothers, their fathers, etc. Ladies who have pure intentions have positive effects on them, and those who have dubious intentions have negative effects on them. This is how I understood it, and regardless of whether the saying has a sound foundation or not (I don't know), I don't think it can be denied that women have considerable sway over the men closest to them. God knows all the women in my family do...

Gosh, and to think ... All that tongue-biting for nothing. Poor tongue....

Anyway, back to the topic, no it is not required that one divorce their wife if she refuses to wear a headscarf. However, a man should not fool himself into thinking that he will be able to change the ways of his wife after marriage if he cannot succeed in doing so before marriage. What a man can do, however, is raise a family in an Islamic environment that is conducive to Islamic behavior and habits. If your and your wife regularly socialize with non-Muslims, take part in social gatherings and activities that are not appropriate for Muslims, etc, and then expect your wife to dress in a manner that contradicts both your lifestyles, then your expectations are misplaced. Conversely, if you and your wife socialize with people who do wear proper hijab, enjoin Islamic values, go regularly to mosque, emphasize things like moderation, modestly, tahara, etc, then your wife would be more inclined to adopt hijab simply because it fits in with the atmosphere around her. Most women who do not want to wear hijab do so for social acceptance reasons, and many women who find no problems in wearing hijab do so because their lifestyle does not contradict their choice to wear it. Also, one should think of the example that parents set for their children. More important than your wife wearing hijab for the sake of hijab, is your children being raised in accordance with correct Islamic practices and values, and the foremost motivator and source of emulation and influence for children, when it comes to matters of faith and lifestyle, is their parents and environment at home.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Cypress, yes you misunderstood the hadeeth, bro Learned touched upon it nicely. Also, bro Learned, as I have also understood it, is that those three men, father, brother, husband, also have great responsibility towards their daughter, sister, and wife. If those women go astray and lead kaffir lives, those men will also be held accountable for their deeds, and asked why they did not help them...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Unregistered

and first of all , have all the hijabi girls died ?

"A woman takes three people with her to hell: her Father, her Brother and her Husband"

It is true, and its the responsibility of the father to ask his daughter its the responsibility of brother to ask his sister and its the responsibility of a husband to ask his wives to do "Hijab e Fatimi" or at least normal hijab that covers her and doesn?t highlights her physique other wise they should be ready to give her a company in the hell.

Edited by Beloved
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Ñæì ÇáÚáÇÁ Èä ÑÒíä¡ Úä ãÍãÏ Èä ãÓáã Úä ÃÈí ÌÚÝÑ Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã ÞÇá: " ÞÇá ÑÓæá Çááå Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå æÓáã: ÃæÕÇäí ÌÈÑÆíá Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã ÈÇáãÑÃÉ ÍÊì ÙääÊ Ãäå áÇ íäÈÛí ØáÇÞåÇ ÅáÇ ãä ÝÇÍÔÉ ãÈíäÉ "

http://www.yasoob.com/books/htm1/m012/09/no0993.html

Edited by Jondab_Azdi
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
Actually, based on your discussion of the issue, I didn't misunderstand anything. It's always about the women, isn't it?

Oh so now you think that what I wrote is misogynistic too? That's interesting. I'm curious, do any other female members of the site feel the same way?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

^

No.

I interpreted it how you explained it as well. I think it puts women in a pretty powerful position actually. From my observations, women have a lot of influence over a man's spirituality. A woman who is a strong believer can really change all the men who are part of her household. That is why I think Sayeda Fatima (as) was so important. She was around the best of men, and yet, they all did look to her for comfort. It's also why I think, in hadith Kisa, Allah (swt) refers to those under the cloak as: Fatima, her father, her husband, and sons. Subhan'Allah, as if their relationships all centered around her.

Just my observation though. I could also be a misogynist... who knows?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

There is also the hadith that whenever a woman goes out of her house without the hijab, the angels curse her husband until the time she returns.

Any pious man would take this hadith very carefully and would naturally do his best to convince his wife to wear hijab. It is also understandable that any pious man would feel ashamed to see his wife go out of her house bare-headed.

As far as Islamic "jurisprudence" is concerned, a man is obligated to provide his wife with the cloth that she would need to use as her hijab. If he fulfils that duty and at the same time tries his best to convince his wife to wear hijab, he has done his islamic duty.

As a further step, the man has the right to disallow his non-hijabi wife to step outside the house if she refuses to wear the hijab. But I guess a woman who is not religious enough to wear the hijab, would also give no importance to the fact that she would be doing another sin by going out of the house when her husband had disallowed her to do so.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Salam Alaikum

One of the main conditions a momin should ask before he marries someone is whether she wears hijab.

If after marriage she no longer wears the hijab, the man has tried his best to bring her back to the right path, he has every right to send her back.

He is just as responsible in ensuring his wife wears the hijab in terms of clothing as well as action, as she is herself.

A woman who does not wear hijab will also have an effect on the whole household.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
So according to muslims of islamic religion anyone who is responsible for the shamelessness resultant in a woman deserves as the woman does herself. OMG what a great sense of Humor :)

No. A person is given a sin or blessing due to another's actions only to the extent of his involvement/responsibility. Ultimately, though, a person is responsible for his/her own actions. This is actually the basis of Islam, no other person can pay for your sins (or for that matter, your blessings) because that would not be fair, we do not have the "whipping boy" concept in Islam, just as we do not have that in society. A person only pays for your sins (or blessings) if they were somehow involved or responsible. A husband does have a responsibility to his family, but he does not get 100% of the blame if he tries his best and is unable to succeed in bringing his family to the right path. A person also has a partial responsbility to his friends as well. Christians evangelize because they feel that it is their responsibility to try to bring others to the Christian path. In the same way, Muslim people have responsibilities towards their families and friends.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 years later...
  • Basic Members

There is also the hadith that whenever a woman goes out of her house without the hijab, the angels curse her husband until the time she returns.

Any pious man would take this hadith very carefully and would naturally do his best to convince his wife to wear hijab. It is also understandable that any pious man would feel ashamed to see his wife go out of her house bare-headed.

As far as Islamic "jurisprudence" is concerned, a man is obligated to provide his wife with the cloth that she would need to use as her hijab. If he fulfils that duty and at the same time tries his best to convince his wife to wear hijab, he has done his islamic duty.

As a further step, the man has the right to disallow his non-hijabi wife to step outside the house if she refuses to wear the hijab. But I guess a woman who is not religious enough to wear the hijab, would also give no importance to the fact that she would be doing another sin by going out of the house when her husband had disallowed her to do so.

No one has the right to tell me if I can leave the house or not. Im an adult last time i checked and I don't need anyones permission to do what I please. I am a wife a mother, and I work. I take my kids to the doctor, i go to work, run errands, visit friends and family. You men need to get over yourselves, stop being so insecure about your wives. She is not your child, but your wife and partner. Respect her the same way you want to be respected.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Basic Members

You cannot force a woman to take up hijab it is the subjective choice of the woman and it is the responsibility of the husband to support her through the decisions she makes and do the best he can to help her. The world would be a better place if everyone tried to emulate the mercy and compassion of Allah, something many people forget everyday.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...
  • Advanced Member

(salam)

If a Man sincerely tries to convince his wife to wear Hijab and she refuses, is the man obligated to divorce her?

Is it considered a sin to marry a woman who does not wear hijab in the first place?

I dont think so Akhi, because we are allowed to marry Ahlul Kitab women, but still a good husband will say that yes, Hijab in public is a must and at least have a long talk about it and convince her...but divorce is a little too far.

Allahu 'Alim

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...