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mo87_11014

Does Getting Married Stop The Bad Habit

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Sallamun Alaykum

there was a lecture i was listening to and it got me thinking.

what the lecturer was saying was that after people get married they think they will stop the bad habit but after a while they see that they cant despite getting married.

personally i don't know anyone that has been through it i thought that the reason they were doing it is bcz they didnt have a wife or husband.

what is your view and has a friend relative or even you been through it?

ws

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Sallamun Alaykum

there was a lecture i was listening to and it got me thinking.

what the lecturer was saying was that after people get married they think they will stop the bad habit but after a while they see that they cant despite getting married.

personally i don't know anyone that has been through it i thought that the reason they were doing it is bcz they didnt have a wife or husband.

what is your view and has a friend relative or even you been through it?

ws

yes my brother geeting marrriage in a early age you can be save from bad habit bad thinking .

i give you a some example if you are thirsty and you wants a water your mother will try all my best to give youa a water and try to remove your thirsty .she canot see you in a thirsty form so, in the early age of marrriage you can remove your thirts of human(------) young power.and dont go towards the bad habit and bad thinking .so your parent should to made your marriage as soon as possilbile so that you remove of thirstyness.

Edited by MuhammadHusnainRaza

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sallamun alaikum

we all know at a young age before the bad habit comes if someone gets married they will probably never do the bad habit but were talking about someone who passed it and got married.

ws

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Umm... which bad habit? Or just bad habits in general? Marriage is no cure for problems.

"People don't change." - Dr Gregory House

He's talking about the bad habit. The one that every time you do it, somewhere, some time, a kitten dies.

Yes, people who get married will profess to ridding themselves of the bad habit.

"Everybody lies" - Dr Gregory House

Edited by Dirac Delta function

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You mean... masturbation? *cue ominous music*

OMG the word even causes a kitten to die! ... not really. It is okay to say the word, you know. Wank, jack, jill, whatever. It's not going to infect you with, like, something bad.

Answer: No. People continue to wank. It's not kitten-slaughter-worthy, either... don't freak out, it's normal. In fact, in women, the presence of a regular partner demonstrably increases masturbation frequency for reasons that relate to fertility (it increases the chance of impregnation after intercourse, for one). And masturbation is recommended by doctors to men for reasons of health: it can significantly reduce prostate problems and is a preventative against prostate cancer. "A wank a day keeps the big C away."

House is creepy because he's so darn accurate in his misanthropy.

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(bismillah)

Dear cypress,

I dont think that is accurate what you are saying because all islamic scholars say that masturbation is ''haram'' and one should not get into that habit. I think it tends to affect a person spiritually as well as physically in the future.

Ws

Edited by Mommin

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You mean... masturbation? *cue ominous music*

OMG the word even causes a kitten to die! ... not really. It is okay to say the word, you know. Wank, jack, jill, whatever. It's not going to infect you with, like, something bad.

Answer: No. People continue to wank. It's not kitten-slaughter-worthy, either... don't freak out, it's normal. In fact, in women, the presence of a regular partner demonstrably increases masturbation frequency for reasons that relate to fertility (it increases the chance of impregnation after intercourse, for one). And masturbation is recommended by doctors to men for reasons of health: it can significantly reduce prostate problems and is a preventative against prostate cancer. "A wank a day keeps the big C away."

House is creepy because he's so darn accurate in his misanthropy.

I like you, shame we drive on the same side of the road....

before your post gets shot to pieces by the mod squad, I think that there is some truth in the affirmative in people with Islamic upbringing. Once you are married, you really have no excuse (and why would you need one - it's halal when your partner does the driving?)

And yes, it's disturbing quite how often he is right, but sometimes he is also wrong, bless his curmudgeonal cotton socks....

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I like you, shame we drive on the same side of the road....
LOL. I actually never heard that one before.

Yeah, o and didn't you say something about book recs a while back? PM me, I have some new ones fresh outta Harvard... White Banners is quite fabulous, it's about Abbasid Syria and its odd rebels. They had a kind of Shi'at Mu3awiyah, believe it or not... creepy but fascinating.

before your post gets shot to pieces by the mod squad, I think that there is some truth in the affirmative in people with Islamic upbringing. Once you are married, you really have no excuse (and why would you need one - it's halal when your partner does the driving?)
Still, it doesn't serve the same function. I stand by my statement that no, it is no "solution" - which doesn't invalidate someone's less-than-satisfying solution to sexually starve-and-binge themselves into "happiness". It ain't healthy.

The reality is that sexuality - even married, which is the kind we endorse! - isn't just about tab A and slot B. The reason women masturbate more when partnered with a partner they rate well specifically increases pregnancy rates. Viability of pregnancy with a good partner is much higher when the woman orgasms some X period of time after intercourse, and yes, the man can come back and re-satisfy her then, but there's nothing wrong with self-service. I mean, it's a private sexual activity. So long as you aren't addicted to porn, it's no more evil than a hot bath (err... okay, hot baths can encourage said activity for the women, but) or a hot shower or a soft sweater or a chocolate bar. Indulgence isn't the same as obsession. Eating alone isn't bad for you, for example, although it's better with other people and bad when you are obsessed with it.

If you wank all day, it's a problem. If you have one off during siesta, I think it's pretty normal. Then again, there are people who don't feel the urge - but for men, that's like <1% of people. In men, it's a fairly crucial biological function: Bad Things Happen when you don't, uh, throw out the "old coffee" and let a new cup brew, and "wet dreams" are insufficiently frequent for longterm health issues.

Anyway, cheers.

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LOL. I actually never heard that one before.

Yeah, o and didn't you say something about book recs a while back? PM me, I have some new ones fresh outta Harvard... White Banners is quite fabulous, it's about Abbasid Syria and its odd rebels. They had a kind of Shi'at Mu3awiyah, believe it or not... creepy but fascinating.

I don't think that was me, but then I don't remember what I did 5 minutes ago. I imagine it was someone who was prompted by your interest in alevis or kizilbash..., sounds interesting nevertheless. I've got a non-work-related reading to-do list about a mile long, starting with Flowers for Algernon, which someone recommended to me....but I'll look into white banners....

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At any rate, the Shi'a Ja'fari position is that this act is haraam, and it is wajib for a person engaging in haraam acts to marry and find ways to fulfill themself in a halaal way.

Since this is SHIAchat, we should not encourage members to do things that are absolutely prohibited according to Jafari fiqh. We should also not place the latest trends in pop sexual culture above the teachings of our Imams (as) who have clearly prohibited this act.

There are a number of hadith encouraging men and women to do what they can to ensure the fulfillment of their partners (beyond Cypress's textbook description of tabs and slots). If a man or woman does not feel physically fulfilled within their marital relationship, they need to find ways to improve that relationship, not engage in a haraam act. However, that sort of discussion is too explicit for this board and would be inappropriate here. Anyone who has any personal concerns about their own marriage may consult the Brother's Consultancy Group or the Sister's Consultancy Group. They could also consult a marriage counselor or other professional or look for some relevant literature.

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