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In the Name of God بسم الله

Who Has The Right To Sit First?

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Bro i feel for you, i can understand why your annoyed and hurt. Personally had i been in your situation i would have been deeply offended. Thankfully i've never seen this situation occur, from my personal experience the front seat is always offered to the eldest male in the car even if his wife is present in the car.

I have never seen a wife sat in the front seat of the husband car while a man be it a friend or relative is present in the back, not only is it rude but its also degrading for the gentleman.

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  • 3 months later...
  • Advanced Member
Bro i feel for you, i can understand why your annoyed and hurt. Personally had i been in your situation i would have been deeply offended. Thankfully i've never seen this situation occur, from my personal experience the front seat is always offered to the eldest male in the car even if his wife is present in the car.

I have never seen a wife sat in the front seat of the husband car while a man be it a friend or relative is present in the back, not only is it rude but its also degrading for the gentleman.

Lolllllll i can almost hear the 1700's! :lol:

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Bro i feel for you, i can understand why your annoyed and hurt. Personally had i been in your situation i would have been deeply offended. Thankfully i've never seen this situation occur, from my personal experience the front seat is always offered to the eldest male in the car even if his wife is present in the car.

I have never seen a wife sat in the front seat of the husband car while a man be it a friend or relative is present in the back, not only is it rude but its also degrading for the gentleman.

How is it not degrading for the women to have to sit at the back?

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  • 1 year later...
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I am obviously late in responding to this topic but seriously this is the most feminised (or shall I say men's cowardice) thread I have read on an Islamic forum.

As for the question of OP: it is entirely the fault of the older brother, the woman has nothing to do in this. So there is only one solution for him: either he changes and respects his not-so-younger brother or the younger brother says goodbye to this situation and exit it for good.

Courtesy of bro Bhooka Bhairiya, there IS hadith asking women to not sit in the "upper portions of their homes". And I think this upper portion of the house refers to the room's (floor) sitting place arguably the farthest from the door (in a traditional sense) which has a symbolic status due to its bird-eye view on the rest of the room (?). However, in modern houses (with sofas and everything else) you wouldn't get this kind of hierarchical sitting places in the room. Anyway, the point is a car(or its front seat) is not a bedroom (as lots of people have stated it to be a private thing between the husband and the wife) but a public means of transport, and the back seat and the front seat definitely do have hierarchical status positions.

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I am obviously late in responding to this topic but seriously this is the most feminised (or shall I say men's cowardice) thread I have read on an Islamic forum.

As for the question of OP: it is entirely the fault of the older brother, the woman has nothing to do in this. So there is only one solution for him: either he changes and respects his not-so-younger brother or the younger brother says goodbye to this situation and exit it for good.

Or... he gets his head out of his butt and grows up. Seriously, its a car seat not politics.

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Or... he gets his head out of his butt and grows up. Seriously, its a car seat not politics.

come on sister, lets face it, when it comes to family, it's all politics :Hijabi:

@op, it's complicated, in a way, yes she is rude, but in another way, it is her husband's car.

Edited by ShahHussain
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Or... he gets his head out of his butt and grows up. Seriously, its a car seat not politics.

It is a car seat but it is in the real world nonetheless. I think if it wasn't because of hijab there wouldn't be any difference between a man and a woman. However, the relationships of humans(husbands and wives) are preserved, Islamically, in such a way that it requires the women to have minimum contact with male strangers and any non mahrams. To maintain this harmony, any situation that exposes the woman unnecessarily therefore should be avoided, and sitting in the front does expose a person more than sitting in the back of the car, especially to the non mahram person/s sitting in the back (as it is not easy for most men to shut their eyes (and imaginations) to a woman who is sitting in front of them, even if it is only her back showing). But this is my own opinion, which I think might explain why we are supposed to uphold certain differences between men and women.

Also for other situations, assuming it is a five seater car, if there was two non mahram persons then I would rather see the husband sit in the back with his wife and let one of the guys drive the car. And if it was more than two then it is a must that she sits in the front as it is less exposing than sitting right next to them. Salam

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It is a car seat but it is in the real world nonetheless. I think if it wasn't because of hijab there wouldn't be any difference between a man and a woman. However, the relationships of humans(husbands and wives) are preserved, Islamically, in such a way that it requires the women to have minimum contact with male strangers and any non mahrams. To maintain this harmony, any situation that exposes the woman unnecessarily therefore should be avoided, and sitting in the front does expose a person more than sitting in the back of the car, especially to the non mahram person/s sitting in the back (as it is not easy for most men to shut their eyes (and imaginations) to a woman who is sitting in front of them, even if it is only her back showing). But this is my own opinion, which I think might explain why we are supposed to uphold certain differences between men and women.

Also for other situations, assuming it is a five seater car, if there was two non mahram persons then I would rather see the husband sit in the back with his wife and let one of the guys drive the car. And if it was more than two then it is a must that she sits in the front as it is less exposing than sitting right next to them. Salam

The relationships of humans (husbands and wives) are preserved, Islamically, in such a way that it requires the men to have minimum contact with female strangers and any non-mahrams. To maintain this harmony, any situation that exposes the man unnecessarily therefore should be avoided, and sitting in the front does expose a person more than sitting in the back of the car, especially to the non-mahram person/s sitting in the back (as it is not easy for most women to shut their eyes (and imaginations) to a man who is sitting in front of them, even if it is only his back showing). But this is my own opinion, which I think might explain why we are supposed to uphold certain differences between men and women.

Also, hijab was encouraged to allow women to interact normally in society, not in their homes, and not to hide from society. With the wife wearing her proper Islamic hijab, the man in the back should not be distracted by his own brother's wife and therefore should sit in the back to respect her superior status as the wife, as opposed to forcing the woman to sit in the back and be able to see a man with exposed hair, neck, ears, and possibly even arms w00t.gif

Grow up. And get a life.

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This is how Iv seen it played out...

If the Women is Driving, Then usually the other Female sits up front and Vice Versa

Unless there is a Huge Difference in age, that's pretty much how its played out

If there all direct/intimidate family to each other (brothers, Sisters, Mom's and Dad's) then I think they usually sort it out themselves. Though it is usually the two parents who sit together up front if the children are young or of the same age and are still not considered adults yet.

If not (they are considered adults) the Males usually sit with the father while the Females usually sit with the Mother.

However, The Father and (especially as per hadith and Quran-when talking about respect) The Mother are given first preference on where they want to sit in the car REGARDLESS of the child's age. And yes, that's without Sweet talking her/him into letting you sit up front or trying to influence her/him in any way.

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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhaha

honestly, i am going to kill myself laughing

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

why dont all three of you try squeezing in the front?????? as the OP obviously cannot sit with the sis in law....... he should try sitting alongwith his brother in the drivers seat

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

OMG

my sides are aching

wait ............. i just thought of more solutions.............

maybe you should do the musical chair thing each morning.............to see who gets to sit in the front......... your bro can control the music that way you will know where he really wants you to sit......

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahhahaha

or maybe you should try racing your sis in law to the front seat each morning............like make a grab for it and see whoever gets it.........................

Edited by ayla
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  • 2 weeks later...
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My sister-in-law is 26 and my brother is 33. I'm 32 years old. My sister-in-law in the morning sits infront of the car with my brother without offering me to sit infront.

Who has priority to sit in the front seat? Does she have to offer me? Is she rude?

jeee.... this sounds like a paki issue right off the bat w00t.gifw00t.gif AHAHAHAHAH !!

well ... umm i think she the wife soo she has the piorty... if it was ur mom rather then u then she's being rude not to offer her the front seat.... but seriously... stop picking up littel things sis... just let it goo ... :rolleyes:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhaha

honestly, i am going to kill myself laughing

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhhahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

why dont all three of you try squeezing in the front?????? as the OP obviously cannot sit with the sis in law....... he should try sitting alongwith his brother in the drivers seat

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

OMG

my sides are aching

wait ............. i just thought of more solutions.............

maybe you should do the musical chair thing each morning.............to see who gets to sit in the front......... your bro can control the music that way you will know where he really wants you to sit......

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahhahaha

or maybe you should try racing your sis in law to the front seat each morning............like make a grab for it and see whoever gets it.........................

AHAHAHAHH same here m like cracking up... these are called "typical paki issues" NO KIDDING!! LOVE THEM !!! w00t.gifw00t.gif OHHHHHH MY STOMACH HURTZZZZZZZZZzz!!!

Edited by lover of imam(a.t.f.s)
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  • Advanced Member

(salam)

I believe there are no ahadith in our books specifying who has the right to sit first. I would advise you to practise obligatory precaution and make sure you and your sister-in-law divide the opportunities to sit first between yourselves i.e if one time she gets to sit first, the next time you should sit first. But to be completely fair, if all three of you know how to drive, then you shouldn't make your brother drive all the time. You should probably contact your marja about this matter.

(wasalam)

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  • 3 weeks later...

My sister-in-law is 26 and my brother is 33. I'm 32 years old. My sister-in-law in the morning sits infront of the car with my brother without offering me to sit infront.

Who has priority to sit in the front seat? Does she have to offer me? Is she rude?

In the US we have unwritten rules about that.

#1. Upon leaving a building the seat goes to the first who" calls it". This person says "shotgun" loud enough for those concerned to hear it.

#2. If no ones "calls it" it verbally it goes to whoever put their hand on the door handle.

If there is some dispute about verbalizations the person who gains the door handle first is awarded the seat.

I hope this settles the matter.

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I (man) like to sit in the back, less chance of dying in an accident. However, whenever I hop along with my brother and his wife, I sit in front because she wants to sit with her kids or something. I don't like that. Do you she is being rude to me for not asking whether I want to sit in the back first?! :P j/k... But I do enjoy sitting in the back, really.

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