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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Adam++

Dialouge With Maula Dha Mallang

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(salam)

You seem like a very interesting and cool guy, so hopefully you can answer our questions, if you may.

1) I can tell from reading several of your post you're a pretty tough guy. How many people have you beat up? Who was your biggest challenge, if there even was?

2) Would you ever consider joining the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship)?

3) You remember when Mike Tyson bit a piece of Evander Hollyfield's ear. How did you react to that scene? Do you think fining Mike Tyson $3 million and having his license revoked for a short time served him justice?

Watch the ear bite video here!

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(wasalam)

wow...im flattered :blush:

(salam)

You seem like a very interesting and cool guy, so hopefully you can answer our questions, if you may.

1) I can tell from reading several of your post you're a pretty tough guy. How many people have you beat up? Who was your biggest challenge, if there even was?

i remember my first fight, it was when i was 8 years old. my parents wanted me and my brothers and sisters to be taught by sunnis and shias at the same time so in my early years we split our time equally between them, i was taught by famous sunni scholars such as qari ghulaam rasool (the official quran recitor from radio pakistan) and shia ones such as ayatollah ghadiri (back when he was a maulana lol), maulana muhammed ali shomali (when he was a teenager he was leading jamats in 404 and the first to give english majalis) and others. qari ghulam rasools madressa was entirely sunni except for me and my brothers, he treated us like his own sons, he knew we were shia so never hit us or scolded us or made us read tarawih etc, his underling maulvis and our peers resented us for this treatment so tried to alienate us.

when i was 8 there was this guy, im not messing he looked like an adult to me he already had facial hair, after masjid he said i stole his masjid topi and threw it on top of the ceiling fan (i did) and tried to fight me. me and my brothers jumped him and the soft git burst into tears cos my bro pulled the dudes pants down in front of all the girls coming down the stairs.

on top of that we live in a roughneck area of manchester, you know its a bad area when the police dont come to your streets unless theyre in riot gear lol. my mammu didnt want us to become victims so he forced us all to go to karate lessons for AGES. i hated karate but my love for fighting started from there, i went on to do judo (up to yellow belt; i was too scrawny for the hip throws), taekwondo, kung fu, wrestling then the holy grail muay thai kickboxing.

how many guys have i beaten up? theres no way i could say. ive had my ass WHUPPED plenty too, dont think im undefeated lol. id say ive won around half ish of my fights. one time i got hit so hard every time i moved my chest creaked, absolute torture man.

2) Would you ever consider joining the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship)?

the only person i will ever roll around with with next to nothing on is my wife. id love to do k-1 tho.

3) You remember when Mike Tyson bit a piece of Evander Hollyfield's ear. How did you react to that scene? Do you think fining Mike Tyson $3 million and having his license revoked for a short time served him justice?

Watch the ear bite video here!

lol i love tyson. i thought holyfield deserved it, throughout the whole fight he was moving in to clinch and headbutting tyson right in front of the referee! am i the only one who noticed this! tyson probs got frustrated and knew he wasnt gonna win no matter what so snapped and took a chunk.

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Where can I get a job like yours (i.e my dream job)? :P

i didnt deserve it, the only reason anything in my life has been successful is because of my parents dhuas for me. NEVER let ur mum even frown at you.

and i was originally meant to have this job for 3 months, then they re advertised the vacancy, i was at work when my rivals for this job came for their interviews, i sabotaged all of them so i could keep this job, including meeting one potential at the door and pretending to be the interviewer...but thats a long story lol.

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bro i work for the NHS, im in charge of overseeing efficient purchasing for all the hospitals within the north west UK. i dont wanna say too much more about it on a public forum lol :blush: but alhamdulillah its a great job for someone my age, experience and colour to have in this country.

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What would you like to improve on yourself?

Any goals for the future?

If you could visit any place in the world, where would you go?

Whats your favourite Disney movie?

Dogs or cats?

Ferro Rocher or Tolberone?

Where do you wanna be buried?

Edited by _zahra

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What would you like to improve on yourself?

lose some weight man its embarrasin for me. i want to do the MA in comparative philosophy but may have to do the BA first, guess inshallah ill do the BA then.

Any goals for the future?

nah i dont really plan that far ahead lol. save money? get married? nothing really major im pretty happy where i am at the mo alhamdulillah

If you could visit any place in the world, where would you go?

lol is that even a question? kerbala man, then shaam, then lalamusa, then this place called "doc tarn". i did duke of edinburgh scheme in high school so went camping/ hiking LOADS. one of the places i visited, it was pure jannat. miles from any road. when i close my eyes sometimes i see that place, im hoping one day to visit that place, climb that same hill, and watch the sun rise over the purple mountains alone and at peace with the world again.

Whats your favourite Disney movie?

man thats a tough one, alladin? if not then lion king mufasa died *sniff* lol

Dogs or cats?

dogs man. ive got this MONSTER rottweiler, around 80kg, it can pull jeeps. i love that damn animal.

Ferro Rocher or Tolberone?

feereo rocher! dont u love the way it melts in ur mouth?

Where do you wanna be buried?

near to my grandmother. she converted over 2000 salafis into mallang shias completely single handed. my earliest memories are of waking up in the middle of the night and knowing she would be sat on her janamaz crying and beating her chest and thighs saying "ya hussain" while reading ziarat ashura

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What's your education ?

B.Sc. (hons) biomedical sciences, Masters degree in business enterprise when i won a fully paid scholarship from the EU.

only "formal" (if you can call it that) islamic education was from the 7 years i spent at the sunni madressa learning "ahle sunnat wal jammah aur quran". i was taught shia stuff in a sort of hodge-podge way, moving from maulana to maulana every once in a while. the longest stretches were under maulana (ayatollah) ghadiri where we studied tafsir of the quran for about 3 or 4 years around 3 times a week, and maulana (ayatollah?) mohammed ali shomali learning the history of the imams lives, i think hes a dean of a university in qum? im not sure but hes a big guy in iran now mashallah hes written loads of books. were going back more than 15 years now he didnt look older than 20 at the time but he knew more even then then all the pakistani aalims in manchester put together. whenever he would come to our house we had to endure boiled spiceless food because he got sick if he tasted ANY spices lol so we had to get used to a diet of boiled rice and yoghurt.

there was another pakistani aalim, i think his name is maulana raza hussain? hes the current resident aalim at idara e jafferia in london. he used to stay in our house for months on end when i was very young, he would teach us as often as he could, he taught me how to read quran and so on. i remember he used to take me and my brothers with him when he used to do manazara with the local sunni maulvis. the only one he respected was qari ghulaam rasool for some reason, they were great friends.

What sports do you play other than boxing?

basketball, the inevitable cricket (im a bowler), footie and swimming

Do you find little kids annoying?

nah, theyre always doing something to make u laugh

Are you big on education?

absolutely. i collect letters after my name like other people collect stamps lol

MDM, where does your parents hail from in Pakistan?

Lalamusa in gujraat, but we are not originally pakistani; we are afghani and before that iranian. we are not sayyed but we have traced our family back and noticed that wherever the imams emigrated to, our family moved at the same time to wherever they were. technically we are decendants from imam alis uncle abbas but we dont talk about it because of our relationship with the maloon harami abbasids

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My turn ^_^

1- What's your favourite drink?

2- How many siblings do you have? Older or younger?

3- What are the qualities for your perfect wife?

4- Which chocolate do you like best from the Quality Street collection... here take a dip

5- Have you ever eaten mud? How does it taste?

6- What's your favourite food?

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1- What's your favourite drink?

ice cold lassi...rooh afzah in a jaloos....elaichi mixed chaa...7up....coke/ pepsi with pizza

2- How many siblings do you have? Older or younger?

lol this is complicated...ive got 1 older brother, 1 older sister, 1 younger sister and 1 younger brother, but our family owns about 6 houses within 5 square miles of each other so the count goes up to the 20-somethings of siblings plus we are all within the same age group so were all raised together at the same time.

3- What are the qualities for your perfect wife?

mallangani...able to help us sharpening/ cleaning zanjeers...good cook, someone i can protect and provide for and look after who looks after me.

4- Which chocolate do you like best from the Quality Street collection... here take a dip

the purple one...oh god i love the purple one!!!!

5- Have you ever eaten mud? How does it taste?

once while playing rugby, the scrum collapsed and i was underneath face down. tasted kinda grainy, kinda like grass smells.

6- What's your favourite food?

roast chicken, pilau, any sallan, paalak gosht, keema naan, briyani, pizza hut pizza, fish and chips, the dixy fried chicken double chicken burger, french fries, hot desserts.

(not all at once tho lol)

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(salam)

Do such incidents occur frequently with muay thai fighters? Whats ur take on them and advice on avoiding such goof ups? --> ouch1 ouch 2

quite often yes bro. not usually broken legs tho cos ur meant to toughen up ur shins and knees. in my first week i saw a guy break his back right in front of me, it sounded like, u know when u click ur knuckles? only louder,lost count of the broken noses, teeth, ribs and knock outs. ive been ok so far, only smashed my nose twice, right eyebrow once (stung like crazy) and broken my ribs once. was hit across the head by a black guy with a crowbar once but the faggot didnt do it properly so it was just a scalp cut.

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Lalamusa in gujraat, but we are not originally pakistani; we are afghani and before that iranian. we are not sayyed but we have traced our family back and noticed that wherever the imams emigrated to, our family moved at the same time to wherever they were. technically we are decendants from imam alis uncle abbas but we dont talk about it because of our relationship with the maloon harami abbasids

Lala musa is located in district Gujrat not in Gujrat. :D

Don't worry if you are Abbasi. Say it with pride. After all you are the descendant of Abbas b. Abdul Muttallib and therefore a Hashmite and a Qureshiete. I know a family friend of mine who changed his surname from Abbasi to Hashmi. He says its the same thing but sounds better.

Wow man, you and your family have a great history of migration. We on the other hand have been living on the same lands for 1600 or for even more years.

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quite often yes bro. not usually broken legs tho cos ur meant to toughen up ur shins and knees. in my first week i saw a guy break his back right in front of me, it sounded like, u know when u click ur knuckles? only louder,lost count of the broken noses, teeth, ribs and knock outs. ive been ok so far, only smashed my nose twice, right eyebrow once (stung like crazy) and broken my ribs once. was hit across the head by a black guy with a crowbar once but the faggot didnt do it properly so it was just a scalp cut.

Man you're violent. :o

I don't remember fighting with anyone. Ahh peaceful me.

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Lala musa is located in district Gujrat not in Gujrat. :D

Don't worry if you are Abbasi. Say it with pride. After all you are the descendant of Abbas b. Abdul Muttallib and therefore a Hashmite and a Qureshiete. I know a family friend of mine who changed his surname from Abbasi to Hashmi. He says its the same thing but sounds better.

Wow man, you and your family have a great history of migration. We on the other hand have been living on the same lands for 1600 or for even more years.

lol you know what i mean bro!

to be honest being ashamed of our link to the abbasids/qureish is intrinsic to our family, to us we are worse than ummayads because of our ancestors persecution of our imams. usually when someone asks us what caste/ bloodline we are from we have always been told to say we dont know. even tho historically we have actually been the sahabi of all the imams.

we were lucky to know our family history, we have got all kinds of relics, diaries, stories, geneology trees and vast swathes of land we own all over afghanistan and the middle east as a record so its good to teach our kids and actually show them physical proofs. however we cant deny that people who have the same blood we have were responsible for the suffering and murder of the ahle beyt :( i cant believe ive even told you THIS much so far

whats your history? love to know

Man you're violent. :o

I don't remember fighting with anyone. Ahh peaceful me.

lol i make no lies about it, i enjoy violence and feel satisfaction in fighting. i hope imam mehdi needs people like me in his army and not just fill it with scholars lol.

What are you looking to achieve in Comparative Philosophy?

i find it fascinating, the starting point was a book on tawheed by ayatollah mutahari (before i even knew who he WAS), ive always wanted to be a "thinker" lol. i see a massive difference between "religion" and "spirituality" in islam these days, i feel almost as though people have made islam into mindless repetitions of things they dont fully understand. i want to go on a journey of knowledge, and i think that starting with philosophy is the best place to start. who knows where it will take me?

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Thanks bro. I feel i know you well enough to know that you are one genuine bloke and may Allah sustain that spirit in you.

A few more questions

1 - Suppose if you feel that Philosophy in reality is inadequate to cope with certain modern challenges, will you debunk the journey?

2 - If you could get one special gift from Allah, what would that gift be?

3 - How much money would it take to bribe you to support man citeh?

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Thanks bro. I feel i know you well enough to know that you are one genuine bloke and may Allah sustain that spirit in you.

thanks bro :) i hope so too.

A few more questions

1 - Suppose if you feel that Philosophy in reality is inadequate to cope with certain modern challenges, will you debunk the journey?

i think so, my life isnt really planned out. i want a BA and an MA after my name so inshallah i want to at least finish the courses, but after that? mawla varis ill go where my heart takes me

2 - If you could get one special gift from Allah, what would that gift be?

the ability to fly like sakhi shahbaaz qalandar, or being there on the plains of karbala when imam hussain called to the world

3 - How much money would it take to bribe you to support man citeh?

i would say the 800 million dollars the head honcho had frozen in thailand ;)

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Why do you hate soccer?

because it doesnt exist. i love footy. cheerleaders, commentators who dont understand the offside rule, teams with gay ass names (galaxy?? wtf??), dumb american accents and sub standard footie skills are an insult to the beautiful game.

What's the most violent thing you have ever done?

beaten out a guys eyeball with a wicket stump, fought in numerous gang streetfights, fought in pubs for money, smashed a guys head through the glass of a car door, beat a guy into a lump of bloody meat for whistling at my sister while she was crossing the street alone and tried following her to talk to her.

How much do you eat in a day?

not much, i have only 1 meal a day when i get back from work, usually sallan roti or chawwal, nibble on sandwiches throughout the day tho.

Were you ever bullied?

yes, i was kicked out of 2 of my primary schools and in my third one which was a strict church school, thanks to my religious education i could mess with teachers and students heads when they started sprouting rubbish from the bible. the teachers hated me so bullied me terribly, the students saw the teachers doing it and did it themselves.

What's the meanest word anyone has ever called you?

its not what they called me, its why they called it me. i felt like they had stabbed me in the chest cos i know i deserved it.

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Do you have many british friends?

i have a handful yeah. ive also got various shades of black, far eastern, non shia muslims and iranians both pro and anti knomeini. i dont really mix with hindus or wahabbis though.

my biggest circle of friends are all shia tho.

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Whats your favourite-est pringles flavour?

oooh sour cream and chives, u know the light green one? or texas BBQ. have to have the whole damn tub lol

Are you scared of anything (on earth)?

a few things, in 404 there used to be two insane, i mean it INSANE guard-geese that were absolut thugs. they used to chase, squawk, hiss and bit anyone and everyone. one time my mate was teasing them and running away, they chased after him and bit a chunk out off his ass, when i say bit, i mean RIPPED, since they dont have teeth. i was terrified of those two bloody minions of the devil.

oh and i hate going up ladders cos i develop properties with my uncle so a lot of my free time i have to go up and down rickety and badly placed ladders on scaffolding to see progress our workers are making. everyone knows i hate the ladders so they wait till im halfway up and start shaking it lol.

What's your favourite biscuit?

erm...chocolate bourbons, chocolate hobnobs, any of those plain paki ones u get in bags from asian shops, digestives, malted milk and those germanny sounding ones, u know the shortcake ones that are half covered in chocolate and half plain?

What time did you sleep last night?

pretty early actually, i was waiting for someone to ring me around 11ish but they never did so i fell asleep. usually its later tho. im up at 6 every day so i catch up with my sleep when im at work lol

Are you a psychologist?

nope but i was in uni with a girl who was a psycology GENIUS, she properly taught me all these funky tests and tricks and stuff, and was the one who told me about project monarch and the CIA cos she did an assignment on it.

Enjoy answering them ^_^

of course ;) nothing better than talking about yourself is there lol

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