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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Rawshni

Will You Marry Him?

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In reality, men are more likely to adopt children than women. They adopt at twice the rate women do.

that is in regards to stepchildren. ie theyre already married to the woman, and she already has these kids which presumably dont have a father in the picture. the survey (at least in the first couple links i scanned) is not talking about unmarried guys and their wants. besides the survey may also be skewed by gay men couples. lol even the titles of your news articles back up my pseudopoint, that men adopting (i.e. wanting to) more than women is surprising.

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I would accept this proposal. It is so much thawaab and I think such a situation would teach all my children (both biological and adopted) many good values.

As for the hugging issue, here are the options:

1. Don't hug <-- Islamic but not emotionally fulfilling

2. Flout the rule and hug anyway

3. Group hugs (like a football huddle)

I don't know the technical extent of touching that is allowed, but would it be so bad for a girl to hug her adopted father as long at she doesn't have skin-to-skin contact and doesn't hug tightly?

If I adopt a son, I would not be so arrogant as to presume that he is now part of my blood. Things just don't happen that way. I believe that is the main reasoning behind the rulings.

I don't think arrogance is the issue. The issue is what makes a family. Islamically, it's blood, whereas another way of thinking about it is that love is what makes a family. This may be blasphemous but I think sometimes Islam does not give enough weight to feelings and emotions (ex. mutah if there is already a permanent wife, and in the case of the adopted child).

Edited by BabyBeaverIsAKit

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that is in regards to stepchildren. ie theyre already married to the woman, and she already has these kids which presumably dont have a father in the picture.

Ah ! the ifs and buts.... ^_^

Ofcourse a lot is going to be in regards to stepchildren. Women often take away all the kids in a divorce. Later, men marry single mums and embrace the kids without fathers. But lets not complicate the issue.

the survey (at least in the first couple links i scanned) is not talking about unmarried guys and their wants.

What does it matter if the guys are married or unmarried ? The important thing is that the guys are, contrary to your claim, more compassionate and mindful of reality.

besides the survey may also be skewed by gay men couples. lol even the titles of your news articles back up my pseudopoint, that men adopting (i.e. wanting to) more than women is surprising.

Ofcourse it's surprising. Its challenging the stereotypes. Men are not that evil afterall :squeez:

Fi-Amanillah

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Ah ! the ifs and buts.... ^_^

Ofcourse a lot is going to be in regards to stepchildren. Women often take away all the kids in a divorce. Later, men marry single mums and embrace the kids without fathers. But lets not complicate the issue.

i didnt know it was customary to adopt your step children if they still had a father who was playing that role (whether they were in his full time custody or not). and complicate what issue? adoption is not a complex issue? or reasons why men adopt is not a complex issue?

What does it matter if the guys are married or unmarried ? The important thing is that the guys are, contrary to your claim, more compassionate and mindful of reality.

yes its relevant. guys here are largely unmarried and young. this group also were largely those to respond to the mirror thread in the bros forum, and i made a comment in regards to their responses. i said guys werent hot on the idea of adoption, or being told what to do. how does that translate to compassion and mindful of reality?

Ofcourse it's surprising. Its challenging the stereotypes. Men are not that evil afterall :squeez:

i dunno, are you just trying to argue, or be some sort of champion of guys/men? becuase either way youre doing a lousy job at it.

Edited by Cary Grant

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yes its relevant. guys here are largely unmarried and young. this group also were largely those to respond to the mirror thread in the bros forum, and i made a comment in regards to their responses. i said guys werent hot on the idea of adoption, or being told what to do. how does that translate to compassion and mindful of reality?

Yes, you made the following comment in regards to their responses:

Guys arn't so hot about the idea of adoption as the girls are. really no surprises there.

So basically you made a pathetic attempt, or so it seems, to prove that guys are less compassionate just because they are not hot about a dumb hypothetical idea of adoption in the two threads. So I thought I'd surprised you by stating the contrary practise via stats. Now ofcourse the guys in those studies (who were between the age of 18 to 44) are not the ones on shiachat. So if that makes you 'win the argument', so be it.

i dunno, are you just trying to argue, or be some sort of champion of guys/men? becuase either way youre doing a lousy job at it.

:huh:

I dunno, are you just trying to impress me, or depress me ? Becasue either way youre doing a lousy job at it.

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why do you want to adopt a child when you both are marrying and can born a child.

Maybe because it's a wonderful thing to do :) You'd be giving a child an opportunity of having a great life, which he/she may otherwise not have! A proper education, love, care, the chance to be a Shia! Etc.

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That condition would actually be a dream come true; definitely a yes!

In order for the given description of the guy to be 100% true (ie. pious), his intentions in the situation would presumably be pure by default.

Jazak'Allah x 10 @ Zuljie's responses. :wub:

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I would marry him.At least I would know he loves kids and that's important to me since I have 3 hehe.This is a MUCH better condition than if the guy says he doesn't wanna have kids at all.Having that as condition... :huh: Sisters would u accept THAT?

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^ Nope -_- Wutss the point... You'l die a lonely death without the kids around :squeez:

Anyways, when i read the original question, i did not even have to think twice about the answer...

Yes i definitely would :Hijabi: That would be soo cool infact :!!!: Id love to adopt like an african and chinese child :Hijabi:

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^

What if they are infants and breatfed?

thts wht i said .. they 'will' become na€ mehram.

If this persons's wife breastfeeds the adopted infants they be mahram to both

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