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In the Name of God بسم الله

Who Am I In This Society?

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Iran24

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Salams to you brothers and sisters..

I need the help of you all,

I'm a 17 year old from Canada and everyday it seems I am getting worse and worse.

I have Allah in my heart and I thank him for getting us through hard times, but the people around me are having an affect on my deen. Every single one of my friends goes out to parties, drinks and so on. I have not 1 single friend who is a beleiver and it just makes me feel worse about myself because I am calling these people my friends.

But as everyone can Imagine, it gets harder and harder and there has been days where I have gone without prayer.

It hurts me from the inside why I do these things, but I just feel cornered right now and I feel worse and worse about myself everyday, brothers and sisters please

salams

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All i can say is keep your head up and b strong, nobody can help u but Allah through the guidance of the Quran and his Ahlul bayt......... if u just start out doing something small it willbecome big over time and that goes for good things as well as bad things. believe me i am in same situation, probably even worse and the only thing that helps me is seculsion from those things that i know will mislead me.... it might be difficult but sometimes solidarity is the only answer no matter what anyone thinks or says.

salaamz, inshaAllah will bring u to light

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Salams to you brothers and sisters..

I need the help of you all,

I'm a 17 year old from Canada and everyday it seems I am getting worse and worse.

I have Allah in my heart and I thank him for getting us through hard times, but the people around me are having an affect on my deen. Every single one of my friends goes out to parties, drinks and so on. I have not 1 single friend who is a beleiver and it just makes me feel worse about myself because I am calling these people my friends.

But as everyone can Imagine, it gets harder and harder and there has been days where I have gone without prayer.

It hurts me from the inside why I do these things, but I just feel cornered right now and I feel worse and worse about myself everyday, brothers and sisters please

salams

Salaam,

I know what this feels like, I have been feeling like that throughout my life. I don't have many Muslim friends(heck even my own father was a pork-eater/drinker and whatnot), and those ones I knew weren't practising either...they go to parties, drink, have boyfriends etc. I have been depressed at periods because of this, it's not easy when you feel like you don't have a place in the society where you're living....it makes you question things everyday and you feel like you are all alone... I was confused(still am) since of my background and then living in this society, it's really hard. Sometimes it felt like I needed to make a choice of whether to resist or go with the flow, I was struggling with this. I am a bit older now, 22, and I have realised that one has to do their best-that's what you can do as well. Always strive to do the best, Allah(swt) knows your struggle and that you are genuinely trying. I have ben thinking many times of maybe marrying or sth to just not feel so alone anymore in all this, but the solution is really to accept the situation and see it all as a test. Don't be too hard on yourself(I fear it will give you the same depressed state I was in at periods), just keep faith in Allah and know that Allah has a purpose for your life, you are where you are because of a reason. You can only do your best, try and see if you can make any new friends as well (I have heard on this board that there are many Muslims in Canada-go to the community forums and ask for support in your situation, I'm sure you will get good help). Write about it here as well, this is sth alot of young people experience dear br/sr-you're not alone in this situation.

May Allah(swt) strengthen us for each day that goes by,

Take care

Ws

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Salams to you brothers and sisters..

I need the help of you all,

I'm a 17 year old from Canada and everyday it seems I am getting worse and worse.

I have Allah in my heart and I thank him for getting us through hard times, but the people around me are having an affect on my deen. Every single one of my friends goes out to parties, drinks and so on. I have not 1 single friend who is a beleiver and it just makes me feel worse about myself because I am calling these people my friends.

But as everyone can Imagine, it gets harder and harder and there has been days where I have gone without prayer.

It hurts me from the inside why I do these things, but I just feel cornered right now and I feel worse and worse about myself everyday, brothers and sisters please

salams

It would be wise to start distancing yourself from these people if they are not having any positive influence on you. Alhamdulillah when I began university I developed much better friendships than I had in high school and in hind sight it had a massivly positive effect on me. Islamically we are encouraged to make friends with those who remind us of God and our religion, and I can see why now. The people we spend alot of time around do affect our beliefs, morals, behaviours etc.

I'm guessing you feel pretty isolated, and it's pretty hard to develop islamically when you feel like that. Do you know anyone around you that is a practising muslim? Is there a muslim community nearby that you can get involved in, say attending the local mosque regularly?

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(salam) brother,

Well you should read Ahadiths of the imam (as) and the profhets (as) . And read the Qraan wel. Thats what the bro/and sisters have gaven me as tip, to let my iman be more even if there are people around me who dont even believe there is an Allah (swt) .

Good luck ! Inshallah it will work.

ws

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Salams to you brothers and sisters..

I need the help of you all,

I'm a 17 year old from Canada and everyday it seems I am getting worse and worse.

I have Allah in my heart and I thank him for getting us through hard times, but the people around me are having an affect on my deen. Every single one of my friends goes out to parties, drinks and so on. I have not 1 single friend who is a beleiver and it just makes me feel worse about myself because I am calling these people my friends.

But as everyone can Imagine, it gets harder and harder and there has been days where I have gone without prayer.

It hurts me from the inside why I do these things, but I just feel cornered right now and I feel worse and worse about myself everyday, brothers and sisters please

salams

(salam)

Sorry to hear about that. This is the age where a lot of youth start changing and having more freedom to do what they want, and some of them use their freedom this way. And so sometimes people grow apart.

Hopefully, as you get a little older, you will also start to have more options in life and you will be able to interact with more people and choose friends who are more similar to yourself and who are a healthier influence. It is not healthy if your friends are influencing you not to do salaat. If you go off to university or go to work somewhere, you will be interacting with new people, so hopefully you will have a better chance to find practicing/believing friends. You can still keep in touch with your old friends, but you do not need to "hang out" with them if they are doing wrong things.

A hadith says it is better to be with a friend who you think is mu'min than to be alone, but it is better to be alone than with a friend who you think is not mu'min

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Salam,

Just remember that God will never put us through anything beyond our ability to handle, and that hard situations in life are a test of our character and devotion to God. It is tough to be all alone - I recently converted to Islam and am struggling now with how to handle all of my friends, who all drink and party as well. We are all still getting to know each other since we just started our graduate program last year, so I hate turning them down and being left out in classes and group work and such as a result, but the temptations are too strong if I'm in that kind of environment. At your age (I can't believe I'm saying that!), peer pressure is even more difficult to resist! But, it's better to be alone and following the right path, than to be with others who are more than eager to lead us away from God. Maybe try being involved in some extracurricular activities or community programs that will have different kinds of people there.

God knows your pain and loneliness, and He hears your prayers, and will certainly bless you if you stay strong and stick to the right path.

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Hi!

I just came across this site today, and can't believe this is one of the first topics that I've read.

I'm nearly 19, and when I was your age I was in exactly the same situation. There's no Muslim community where I live (There were three people of ethnic minorities in a school of 600!)... subsequently all of my friends were unreligious. It's okay until you reach a certain age, but when I was 16/17 they started drinking/clubbing/having sexual relations etc, and as I don't partake in those I was heavily ostracised... they hardly want to spend a Friday night at the cinema when they could be out on the pull! :unsure:

I thought things would change once I started uni but it was infact worse... Currently I'm about to start 2nd year, but I'm heavily contemplating switching uni's, and moving about 500 miles to be near where all my cousins/the bulk of my extended family are situated. :)

Some practical advice would be to keep in contact with others who are religious, be it over msn, facebook, or in person - it will strengthen you. Good luck to you, I'm sure you'll find your way :D

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