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In the Name of God بسم الله

Mutah And Indo-pakistani Women

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Salams, I think women should have the right to choose whether to do mutah or not. The problem is that now, they don't have that right. Their family and their cultural dogmas decide it for them, and I

(salam) Am astounded to know that every single person related muttah with sex only .......muttah can be stipulated to just holding hands or kisses or allowing everything except sex or the total int

Salam I dont think there is a big mystery here as to why young women do not engage in mut'a. Women who have done mutah are not acceptable for marriage. There are big reasons for this. Most (all?) men

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^I already read the complete post. Even if it is being misused, it is wrong to call it 'sick' or show 'negative attitude' about something recommended by Imams(a).

And BTW, Pak women are not against mutah. It's just the requirement of 'father's-permission-for-virgin', which stops them from practicing mutah. :)

w/s

Can you explain the bold part further? I don't know what it implies, care to develop that? It may be relevant to a thread I just made also. :)

Ws

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Aslam Alikum,

Good discussion here. It appears alot of sisters are against the issue however brothers favour it. I only have two questions though. How many brothers are willing to give their sisters for mutah? Everyone blames us Pakistanis for avoiding certain rules. How many brothers are willing to give their daughters for mutah? If Pakistani women are against this issue then so be it. It is not about culture but personal issue. If a girl does not want to open her self to random guys every 4-5months then it is her own choice. Those who do not follow the rule have a choices. It is not wajib but allowed if need be. Similarly in the time of Hazrat Ali (as) a woman gave her self to a man (zina) in return for some water however there are women who would rather die. Please do not accuse people of false belief and do not tell people to shut up before seeing things from their point of view. Do not assume that because smoking is mukhroo so it shall be for all because I would in deed curse my self for eternity for smoking. Please do not say this is allowed so it has to be done as divorce is also allowed even though it is disliked. Would people who agree to divorce would like to see their own sisters going through divorce? Reading the rules and understanding them are two different things. First read then think and then open your mouths.

Peace

Edited by madscientist86
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The negative attitude may be arising from the following reasons:

1. Generally, subcontinent men do NOT want to marry woman who are not virgins (unless they are the cause of it in the first place) or who have had previous relationships. Look at number of young widowed woman who find it hard to get married again. This makes a woman want to guard herself till she is permanently married.

2. Subcontinent Men (and parents-in-laws) always want to take dowry. In Mutah, they will have to give Mahr which is something incomprehensible to them.

3. There are not enough examples to look up from lives of our Imams in this regard. So the act being allowed has no practical examples to relate to. This is ingrained in all our minds. In the west, where promiscuous relations are in plenty, people find it quite normal to engage in Mutah

4. The laws in subcontinent are not favourable to woman whose husbands neglect them. Now imagine a married woman fighting for her rights and not succeeding and think of the plight of a woman whose mutah has ended and has no recourse in case she has been wronged. In developed countries, once one is married, the wife/ex-wife can claim half of her husbands property, so there is an "incentive" to get in to a mutah.

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It is protection for the women. Mutah can bring a bad relationship, unwanted children, etc. After this, permanent marriage will be very difficult, maybe impossible. A short term relationship can bring long term difficulties.

Edited by forte
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(salam)

why mutah? for a few minute excitement :huh: why? why even bother just control your self and get married it'll go well with your father especially if your a virgin ;)

i totally agree with the above post there's more disadvantages than actual advantages...and i'm not saying mutah isn't allowed i'm just saying whats the need to just be patient and you'll ahve a permanent partner.......HOWEVER if like these girls astaghfirullah want to just keep on doing mutah then moving on then doing it again and moving on gosh you need a slap :dry: :D

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(salam)

why mutah? for a few minute excitement :huh: why? why even bother just control your self and get married it'll go well with your father especially if your a virgin ;)

i totally agree with the above post there's more disadvantages than actual advantages...and i'm not saying mutah isn't allowed i'm just saying whats the need to just be patient and you'll ahve a permanent partner.......HOWEVER if like these girls astaghfirullah want to just keep on doing mutah then moving on then doing it again and moving on gosh you need a slap :dry: :D

what do you make of the ahadith that actively encourage mut'a and discourage not practicing it?

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what do you make of leaving my post alone :dry:

well, if another person is actively issuing bogus fatawa and trying to lead other muslims astray, I think other people should say something.

this whole fear of mut'a is really immature, it's like last ramadhan, this sheikh was giving a khutba about what breaks the fast, and he was listing what does, but when it came to the 'sexual' related ones, he didn't mention them, he just said, i left two out, you all need to go home and find out what they are. I don't think islam was supposed to be this closed off religion where certain issues can't be discussed in the open- not everyone can get married any time, you want to creat an ummah of catholic priests?

the fact is, it is halal, and mustahab and way better than commiting zina.

but I think it might be better if in the real world, people didn't broadcast the fact that they contracted a mut'a. (but this is the internet)

Edited by ShahHussain
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well, if another person is actively issuing bogus fatawa and trying to lead other muslims astray, I think other people should say something.

this whole fear of mut'a is really immature, it's like last ramadhan, this sheikh was giving a khutba about what breaks the fast, and he was listing what does, but when it came to the 'sexual' related ones, he didn't mention them, he just said, i left two out, you all need to go home and find out what they are. I don't think islam was supposed to be this closed off religion where certain issues can't be discussed in the open- not everyone can get married any time, you want to creat an ummah of catholic priests?

the fact is, it is halal, and mustahab and way better than commiting zina.

but I think it might be better if in the real world, people didn't broadcast the fact that they contracted a mut'a. (but this is the internet)

If you want the attitude towards mutah to change, men need to work on their attitude towards women who have been in mutah relationships. The current reality is that those mutah-ees who have not married before become undesireable used goods post mutah and their options in life diminish.

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Sunni ref. on mutah:

Jabir Ibn Abdullah and Salama Ibn al-Akwa' narrated: There came to us the proclaimer of Allah's Messenger (May peace be upon him) and said: "Allah's Messenger has granted you to benefit yourself (Istamta'u), i.e., to contract temporary marriage with women."

i. Sahih Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI (titled: Temporary Marriage), Tradition #3246

ii. Sahih Muslim, Arabic version, 1980 Edition Pub. in Saudi Arabia, v2, p1022, Tradition #13, "Kitab al-Nikah, Bab Nikah al-Mut'a"

Salama Ibn al-Akwa' and Jabir Ibn Abdullah reported: Allah's Messenger (May peace be upon him) came to us and permitted us to contract temporary marriage.

i. Sahih Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI (titled: Temporary Marriage), Tradition #3247

ii. Sahih Muslim, Arabic version, 1980 Edition Pub. in Saudi Arabia, v2, p1022, Tradition #14, "Kitab al-Nikah, Bab Nikah al-Mut'a"

Ibn Juraih reported: Ata' reported that Jabir Ibn Abdullah came to perform Umra, and we came to his abode, and the people asked him about different things, and then they made a mention of temporary marriage, whereupon he said: Yes, we had been benefiting ourselves by this temporary marriage during the life time of the Holy Prophet (may peace be upon him) and during the time of Abu Bakr, and Umar.

i. Sahih Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI (titled: Temporary Marriage), Tradition #3248

ii. Sahih Muslim, Arabic version, 1980 Edition Pub. in Saudi Arabia, v2, p1023, Tradition #15, "Kitab al-Nikah, Bab Nikah al-Mut'a"

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I do not know a single convert man who has a problem with a woman who has had a mut'ah, or is divorced. the only issue I have seen amongst converts is women who have more than two children finding it difficult to marry. The issues would therefore appear to be cultural, and let's be honest, extend to permanent marriage as well.

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Salams,

I think women should have the right to choose whether to do mutah or not. The problem is that now, they don't have that right. Their family and their cultural dogmas decide it for them, and Islam is disregarded. The main problem is that women who are previously married, either in mutah or permenant are seen as 'damaged goods'. This is not only the Indian/Pakistani culture, but other S.Asian societies and the Arabic socieities. This idea comes from the days of jahiliyah, where women were seen as not human, but merely as a 'product' or possession like a horse or goat. Their value was judged based on their physical characteristics, and this value was propagated and accepted by society. Just like a horse or a goat, they were judged based on how tender their meat was, how much milk they produced(if a goat or cow), and the quality of their wool (for sheep). They had no intrinsic value, they were simply a possession. Islam is what gave women intrinsic value and status as a human being. It is our Prophet (pbuh) that taught us that we should not kill baby girls and that we should respect women and treat they like we would want to be treated. If a women is judged based on the presence or absence of a hymen (virginity membrane), then assigned a value based on that, then that means her family, her community, and herself(if she accepts that) is still going based on the values and norms of jahiliyah and then calling it 'Islam'. If a women was not judged and commodified based on this physical characteristic, then I think that the problem would solve itself and a women would get married when she choose to and not based on these remnants of jahiliyah that are still present in our society. The least that our sisters could do is recognize this as jahiliyah and speak out against it. It seems that now many of them accept being viewed like a horse or goat, and this is the sad part.

So the service that a faithful (muslima) wife provides is unlimited in value. A wife who is kind and loving to her husband and sees to his needs while making herself anonymous to other men preserves Islam and preserves sociey. She keeps her husband from haram and also strenghtens the bonds between families and within the community. She also increases her own Iman and becomes heir to paradise in the next life. If she becomes a mother and raises good children by teaching them and guiding them without being overly harsh or abusive, then she is guaranteed paradise (paradise is at the feet of mothers, Hadith from our Holy Prophet). So she is far above what the 'pricetag' the society or community or her family puts on her hymen. She is more noble as a creation of Allah(s.w.a) than to be valued or evaluated in that way. But many of our sisters 'buy into' this jahiliya system which still dominates our communities.

If you study biology, you will see that they only difference between a virgin and a non-virgin is a very thin piece of skin, which is almost undetectable. Any part of her body that was in contact with her previous husband is no longer a part of her body after her iddah is over.

The simple reason is that the husband only comes in contact with the outermost layer of her skin (inside and outside), the epidermis.

These cells are shed off the body on a regular basis and after two to three months, they are gone completely and a new set of cells has already grown. So from a biological point of view, after the end of her iddah, and for all practical purposes, the virgin and non virgin are virtually identical. Something to think about.

Edited by Abu Hadi
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Mutah is an ordained halal act. Yet there is a totally negative attitude about among Shia women in India and Pakistan.

I would like to know the reasons.

salaam alaykum.

for shia muslim, is it ok to do muttah to chines women, non muslim; or cristian chines women?

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the only problem in pakistan regarding muath is lack of education on mutah on our mimbar(ullma)

they do not discuss those issues on mimber which are they true representation of shias or the differences of shias from others.

every man wants to do mutah but doesnt wants to give his sister or daughter in such aggreement

once a allama sahab was asked about mutah and would he allow his widow sister to do mutah?

the best answer i have heard from someone he said "i m not responsible for her deeds she can do everything she wants under the shia islamic law.

this was the only person who said something positive

yes there is mutah happening in pakistan and you can't figure out the number as it is done secretly

becoz there is sunni islamic rule all over pakistan where on there masjid speakers they used to declare shia kafar shia kafar

i have been searching a lady to do nikah e mutah for 1.5 year but still ?????

not worries Allah swt has better for me.

Ya Ali Madad

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(salam)

Am astounded to know that every single person related muttah with sex only .......muttah can be stipulated to just holding hands or kisses or allowing everything except sex or the total intimacy .

Considering these conditions temp marriage gives a lot more power to a girl than to a man .. Comparing to permanent marriage women's rights are a lot less than those they enjoy in temp marriage ... To the inherent insecurity of women about the man walking away ... am sure u have noticed the rising ratio of separations and second marriages in the subcontinent only!!

(wasalam)

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Salams,

I think women should have the right to choose whether to do mutah or not. The problem is that now, they don't have that right. Their family and their cultural dogmas decide it for them, and Islam is disregarded. The main problem is that women who are previously married, either in mutah or permenant are seen as 'damaged goods'. This is not only the Indian/Pakistani culture, but other S.Asian societies and the Arabic socieities. This idea comes from the days of jahiliyah, where women were seen as not human, but merely as a 'product' or possession like a horse or goat. Their value was judged based on their physical characteristics, and this value was propagated and accepted by society. Just like a horse or a goat, they were judged based on how tender their meat was, how much milk they produced(if a goat or cow), and the quality of their wool (for sheep). They had no intrinsic value, they were simply a possession. Islam is what gave women intrinsic value and status as a human being. It is our Prophet (pbuh) that taught us that we should not kill baby girls and that we should respect women and treat they like we would want to be treated. If a women is judged based on the presence or absence of a hymen (virginity membrane), then assigned a value based on that, then that means her family, her community, and herself(if she accepts that) is still going based on the values and norms of jahiliyah and then calling it 'Islam'. If a women was not judged and commodified based on this physical characteristic, then I think that the problem would solve itself and a women would get married when she choose to and not based on these remnants of jahiliyah that are still present in our society. The least that our sisters could do is recognize this as jahiliyah and speak out against it. It seems that now many of them accept being viewed like a horse or goat, and this is the sad part.

So the service that a faithful (muslima) wife provides is unlimited in value. A wife who is kind and loving to her husband and sees to his needs while making herself anonymous to other men preserves Islam and preserves sociey. She keeps her husband from haram and also strenghtens the bonds between families and within the community. She also increases her own Iman and becomes heir to paradise in the next life. If she becomes a mother and raises good children by teaching them and guiding them without being overly harsh or abusive, then she is guaranteed paradise (paradise is at the feet of mothers, Hadith from our Holy Prophet). So she is far above what the 'pricetag' the society or community or her family puts on her hymen. She is more noble as a creation of Allah(s.w.a) than to be valued or evaluated in that way. But many of our sisters 'buy into' this jahiliya system which still dominates our communities.

If you study biology, you will see that they only difference between a virgin and a non-virgin is a very thin piece of skin, which is almost undetectable. Any part of her body that was in contact with her previous husband is no longer a part of her body after her iddah is over.

The simple reason is that the husband only comes in contact with the outermost layer of her skin (inside and outside), the epidermis.

These cells are shed off the body on a regular basis and after two to three months, they are gone completely and a new set of cells has already grown. So from a biological point of view, after the end of her iddah, and for all practical purposes, the virgin and non virgin are virtually identical. Something to think about.

Dude, you're an awesome writer.

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