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abba

Is Falling In Love Haraam?

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omg..i always wondered about tht..

but wen ever i talk 2 ma mum about it.she makes it seem all haram..n its forbidden..but i dont rly see the problem..i mean as long as u noe ure limites.n ure agreein 2 gettin married 2 each other in the future.n not jus a two day or month datin process then i doubt tht being haram..also if u dont have desires towards the opposite sex..thtll cause 2 do sumthing haram wit em.

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i fell in love with a girl after talking to her a couple of times and we usually talked religious matters and shared very little personal information and i want to marry her now, but i have some history that im afraid she either already knows or she will come to know and reject me. :( yes i think you can fall in love with someone just talking to them a few times. its like you get attracted to their mind rather than beauty but mind is beauty as well. but for me i dont know if she will reject coz i had some mutah relationships which were not love for me although i told these girls i loved them but they were not for me but they were more fun and for experience.

i know she feels the same way about me coz i have very very strong feelings for her like i always think about her and want to talk to her and hear her voice and be with her. but have this problem and i dont talk to her anymore because she is religious and i know she wouldnt want to further our talks and relationship un-islamically. i dont know what to do. i am afraid to pop the question of marriage coz i dont want her to reject me. :( love hurts.

awww hun..well i understand wut mean..i mean i was in luv wit a guy..but i was scared he might find out about ma past..but u noe wut..if she rly luvs u..she will understand u hun..n let it go by..but i dont rly see the big problem i mean u did it in an Halal way..so its all good..inshala he wont mind..n trust me luv does hurt..been there done tht..

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Guest fatima2003
i fell in love with a girl after talking to her a couple of times and we usually talked religious matters and shared very little personal information and i want to marry her now, but i have some history that im afraid she either already knows or she will come to know and reject me. :( yes i think you can fall in love with someone just talking to them a few times. its like you get attracted to their mind rather than beauty but mind is beauty as well. but for me i dont know if she will reject coz i had some mutah relationships which were not love for me although i told these girls i loved them but they were not for me but they were more fun and for experience.

i know she feels the same way about me coz i have very very strong feelings for her like i always think about her and want to talk to her and hear her voice and be with her. but have this problem and i dont talk to her anymore because she is religious and i know she wouldnt want to further our talks and relationship un-islamically. i dont know what to do. i am afraid to pop the question of marriage coz i dont want her to reject me. :( love hurts.

at this point I would say your best course of action is to ask her father for marriage to her........

I do not think you have to disclose past mutah relationships but it might be better if you generically say that you have been in a mutah marriage before..... if she ask details tell her you do not feel it is right to disclose the identity of a woman who has been in a mutah marriage or say any of the details and leave it at that......she will respect you for this stance.....

If she says no then she is not for you..... yes it will hurt your heart but it is a temporary hurt and never knowing whether or not she could have been your wife will hurt more than if she says no.... and besides... maybe she will say yes.....

and if she says no someday you will forget all about this because someday you will be married to a very nice wife and have children and be very happy.... don't worry akhi....

barakallah feek

Ma3as salaama

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I will love someone with my heart and soul and everything whose love and presence will make me more obedient to Allah.

Any other type of love is " haram "

This is the most beautiful thing I have read on this thread. It really rings true to the heart (no pun intended).

Thank you! :angel:

Edited by abba

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There is only one type of love: love for Allah. This is true love Let me explain.

If you do everything for the pleasure of Allah, without fear of hell or anticipation of reward, this is love. It is unconditional. When you are kind to your parents just to please Allah, this is love. When you are kind and respectful to your wife because this is what Allah wants, this is love. It is a very deep love, and it is the only thing that can be called love. True love. Everything done out of "love" but not for the unconditional love of Allah is not love let alone true love.

Keeping this in mind: I don't think "falling in love" makes sense. That's why Imam Sadiq says "Don't marry the woman you love, love the woman you marry." This means that love, if it ever comes, comes afterwards. The only way this love can come about is if everything good you do to and for your spouse is purely for the pleasure of Allah. This is true love.

Perhaps I am wrong.

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This question will benefit someone I know very well.

Hypothetically speaking, what is the religion's opinion on falling in love with someone?

If there is no Haraam committed at all, and all the conversations between the two parties have been within religious boundaries. Is it still Haraam to fall in love with someone?

Thanks

Everthing's haram.

There's no point in asking....just assume everything in the whole entire world is haram (everything good and enjoyable).....you're a lot safer that way.

Muslims usually live their life according to this belief - seems to work for them :)

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everything is legal for non muslims.

There's no point in asking....just assume everything in the whole entire world is legal and kosher (everything bad and lustful... homosexualism..nudity...pedophilia..rape..animal sex.. abortion.... ).....you're a lot safer (in your country) that way.

Non Muslims usually live their life according to this belief - seems to work for them

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everything is legal for non muslims.

There's no point in asking....just assume everything in the whole entire world is legal and kosher (everything bad and lustful... homosexualism..nudity...pedophilia..rape..animal sex.. abortion.... ).....you're a lot safer (in your country) that way.

Non Muslims usually live their life according to this belief - seems to work for them

LOOOL

nice one

respect blad B)

Though there is no need to get all defensive, why'd you use the word kosher....im not Jewish (unfortuinatley)

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Though there is no need to get all defensiv

i am not defending anyone. its true. many muslims go overboard wahhabi style calling everything haram.

why'd you use the word kosher....im not Jewish

who cares.

(unfortuinatley)

fortunately you dont see to be muslim either, but who am i to pronounce shirk biddah kaffir BS? i am not practisign what i am preaching if i say that, but i am gonna say it anyway.

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That's why Imam Sadiq says "Don't marry the woman you love, love the woman you marry."

do you have a reference for that?

in reply to the person who started the thread: from what you describe and i presume, i dont see why it would be haram, but again depends on who you are and who that person is. and whether the feelings which you call love may in fact lead to haram, although none has been committed yet. its almost like asking is it halal to hate someone although no haram has been commited.

as you can clearly see, peoples concept of love differs greatly. its more of a subjective word, than an objective one.

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Asalamualakum,

Imam sadiq (as) says: "Do not marry the one you love, Love the one you marry"

"A Bundle of Flowers" vol. 1 pg.147-155

I don't think there is anything wrong with falling in love, but whose advice better to take then one's own Imam (as)?

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hmm

thanks for that. but i dont remember reading that in bundle of flowers. my copy is in boxes, and i really cant be bothered fishing it out. but as far as i knew it doesnt come in volumes. in addition, the book itself gives references under each hadith. so, which refernce does your edition give under the above hadith?

i was unable to find it in the online version. though i must admit i wasnt thorough in my search.

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hmm

thanks for that. but i dont remember reading that in bundle of flowers. my copy is in boxes, and i really cant be bothered fishing it out. but as far as i knew it doesnt come in volumes. in addition, the book itself gives references under each hadith. so, which refernce does your edition give under the above hadith?

i was unable to find it in the online version. though i must admit i wasnt thorough in my search.

Salam,

You are right, the book gives references under each hadeeth. When i put vol. i was looking at bihaar il anwar...there was so many ahadeeth about marriage in general i put the page numbers. I have to go back and check specifics but i remember it being there.

ws

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(bismillah)

(salam)

May Allah (swt) guide us to His straight path, and may He allow us to serve the Imam of our time Imam Al-Mahdi (atfs).

There is nothing inherently "haram" with love, just as there is inherently "haram" about money, the internet, or power. It just depends how you use them. As for love, Allah (swt) has approved for it lawful channels. Whatever falls within these lawful channels and boundaries is acceptable, and even recommended at times. On the other hand, whatever exceeds those lawful boundaries will be considered "haram."

In your case, if you have fallen in love with a faithful Muslim, you have not done anything "haram." However, you must be careful how you will pursue this. You can pursue this appropriately by approaching him or preferably his parents to explain your feelings towards him and seek to marry him.

If you have no intentions of marrying him, then you must be careful with your love. Often times, developing love for someone whom you have no immediate intentions of marrying causes significant problems and often leads to corruption. This is why Islam advises us against premarital love. As the saying goes, love blinds. When you fall in love with someone, you become blinded to the reality. Your outlook on everything becomes very narrow and shallow. Islam wants you to find the right spouse first, by determining whether your spouse has the right qualities, then once you get married allow the love and chemistry to set in. This way, you will almost guarantee yourself a successful marital life.

Unfortunately, many people are taken by the physical features, or any other feature, of someone and they fall deeply in love. Consequently, they decide to get married. Soon after, when that chemistry begins to subside, they come to realize that they have made a mistake and have not chosen the right spouse. Therefore, one must be very careful when it comes to loving someone else. First find the right person who will make Allah (swt), yourself, and your future family happy, then make the sincere intention of marrying that person, and finally allow the love to set in. If we have firm faith in Allah (swt), He will create a bond in their hearts.

As for Prophet Shu'ayb's (as) (Job) daughter, we don't know whether or not she fell in love with Prophet Musa (as). Since she learned that Prophet Musa (as) was an honest and strong man, and because she was not married, she asked her father to get her married to him. And this is perfectly acceptable because first of all, she did not do anything inappropriate (meaning that she did not attempt to establish a covert relationship with him); second, she learned that he had the right qualities before thinking of marrying him; and third she went to her father first.

As for Zulaykha, she committed a sin! We cannot use her as an example. She was initially very corrupt, then later on in her life she repented. She wanted to commit adultery with Prophet Yousef (as), but he refused and as a punishment to him she got him imprisoned. She accused him of trying to harass or rape her. So what Zulaykha did was completely "haram" and unacceptable. Now that's the type of love you should avoid because it gets you in trouble.

So love is not haram in Islam. You should keep it within the lawful channels and boundaries that Allah (swt) has approved. You can go ahead and ask his hand in marriage. If one is married, the more one loves his/her spouse more, the greater the reward he/she will receive from Allah (swt). We have numerous traditions stating that it is from the manner/ethics of the prophets (swt) and believers to love their wives.

Wassalam.

M. Baqer Al-Qazwini

--------------------

Sayed Mohammad Baqer Al-Qazwini

I thought I would be helpful and just copy and paste the answer form this link, thank you sister F for such a great find...... this should clear the matter up insha'Allah

Edited by Imed14

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lol! agree! jus coz people have had a bad experience in love doesnt mean Love is not worth it.

Love is the best thing on earth :wub:

I totally agree with you sister! I couldn't live a full life without love. :wub: But it hurts alot when f.ex the one you love is hurting you. Worse feeling I know. :(

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I don't know if i fell in love with my husband before we got married,but I got strong feelings for him which I think I can call "crush on him". That crush has developed to fallen in love hehe.

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