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In the Name of God بسم الله
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ahlulbayt16

Happy Marriages Do's And Donts

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Happy Marriages

For any marriage, whether arranged or not to survive forever and be happy at once, it requires hard work by both the wife and the husband. It needs Love and understanding to the highest calibre.

I have listed below some sayings about ‘love’. Please ponder over them as love in marriage is the key ingredient for success.

‘A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.’ Mahatma Ghandi

‘it is not necessary to love, it is necessary to say so’ French saying

‘The first duty of love is to listen’ Paul Tillich

‘Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love does not fail”

Imam Reaza (as) said “some women are blessings for their husbands who express their love and affection”

Imam Ja’far Sadiq (as) said “when you love someone , let the person know”

The Holy prophet of Islam (pbuh) said “the best of you among women are those who possess love and affection”

“The words of a man who tells his wife ‘I love you truly’, Should never leave her heart”

“The more one becomes faithful the more one expresses love and kindness to his spouse”

I have listen below some Do’s and Don’ts’ to keep a marriage alive, happy and everlasting:

First the Do’s

Do try to have an evening once a week a week for just the two of you

Do listen with your eyes when your partner is talking to you. The first duty of love is to listen. What many people crave is not somebody to talk to them but somebody who will actually listen. When you get home, try to speak to your partner before doing anything else.

Do make time for each other

Do hold hands more often. Practise touching in a non sexual way. Let your relatives see that you respect your partner.

Do keep your promises

Do take a trip down memory lane: have an evening with your old photographs. Revisit some of the places that were favourite when you first met. Eat a meal by candlelight occasionally. Develop a pastime that you both enjoy. Try to laugh more together. When your partner says ‘I love you’ don’t discuss it- accept it.

Do make time for sex. Couples say that they don’t have time for sex, but so often its because they don’t make time. Sex is an important part of marriage, but don’t see it as a measure of love.

Now the Don’ts:

Don’t confuse your partner’s need for space with rejection

Don’t be selfish in your marriage. A woman who marries a man with the ridiculous notion that she can change him, and he with the foolish idea that she will be the same forever are inviting failure. The trouble comes when we want our partner to become something they cannot be.

Don’t go to sleep not talking to each other. (it may be a long night!)

Don’t bring your partner down in public

Don’t ignore your partner. Give your partner a flower when it’s not their birthday or your anniversary. Have a television-free evening occasionally.

Once a month sit down together with your bank statements, credit card slips and any outstanding bills, and assess how you are doing.

Don’t pick up faults in each other

Don’t pay attention to derogatory whispers about your partner by any of your relatives or friends

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wow,..i enjoyed reading them and to be honest me and my husband have so much of the things you mentioned except for the following

oneOnce a month sit down together with your bank statements, credit card slips and any outstanding bills, and assess how you are doing.

we both hate remembering our debt and bills that need to get paid as we try to do them individually and we never discuss them deeply, just roughly and occasionly,... :P

and we have always been happy and so deeply in love,...alhamdulillah :wub:

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ahhh, will singing the Barney and Friends song help?

Do hold hands more often. Practise touching in a non sexual way. Let your relatives see that you respect your partner.

we can hold hands when singing the barney song. and how about touching the eyes? thats non sexual eh?

Don’t go to sleep not talking to each other. (it may be a long night!)

Does loooong night mean nightmare?

Don’t ignore your partner. Give your partner a flower when it’s not their birthday or your anniversary. Have a television-free evening occasionally.

Do carnivorous flowers exist?

I dont watch TV anyways.

Don’t pick up faults in each other

so how else will they reach a stage of perfection?

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ahhh, will singing the Barney and Friends song help?

we can hold hands when singing the barney song. and how about touching the eyes? thats non sexual eh?

Does loooong night mean nightmare?

Do carnivorous flowers exist?

I dont watch TV anyways.

so how else will they reach a stage of perfection?

LOL :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

ROFL ahahahahahahahahahah

that has got to be the one of the best posts ever on shiachat lol

A Television free night.. NEVER!

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For a happy marriage it is necessary to satisfy one's wife sexually.

So what are the ways to to satisfy one's wife sexually (within the boundaries of sharia).

Edited by Jannati

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"The farmer sows the seed in order to reap the harvest, but he does not sow it out of season or cultivate it in a manner which will injure or exhaust the soil. He is wise and considerate, and does not run riot." (Afzalur Rahman, Quranic Sciences, London 1981, p.285)

Likewise, in the case of husband and wife, the husband should not just:

“Take hold of his wife and rub the seed and finish the business of procreation. The damage in this case could sometimes be irreparable, because a woman, unlike a farm, is very sensitive and has emotions, feelings, and strong passions which need full satisfaction and attention in a proper and appropriate manner.” (Afzalur Rahman, Quranic Sciences, London 1981, p. 286)

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For a happy marriage it is necessary to satisfy one's wife sexually.

So what are the ways to to satisfy one's wife sexually (within the boundaries of sharia).

It is important, but it is not all about it! I don't know how many things I will be doing to keep my wife happy :squeez:

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“Take hold of his wife and rub the seed and finish the business of procreation. The damage in this case could sometimes be irreparable, because a woman, unlike a farm, is very sensitive and has emotions, feelings, and strong passions which need full satisfaction and attention in a proper and appropriate manner.” (Afzalur Rahman, Quranic Sciences, London 1981, p. 286)

Best not to make hard and fast rules. You are at a relative's house, getting ready to go to a wedding and you're both feeling really horny - sometimes the excitement of doing it, when you're under time pressure, when you really shouldn't and there are people waiting to attend an important function, more than makes up for the above risks.

IMHO.

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“Take hold of his wife and rub the seed and finish the business of procreation. The damage in this case could sometimes be irreparable, because a woman, unlike a farm, is very sensitive and has emotions, feelings, and strong passions which need full satisfaction and attention in a proper and appropriate manner.” (Afzalur Rahman, Quranic Sciences, London 1981, p. 286) [/b]

I'd rather just zip up and watch TV.

Best not to make hard and fast rules. You are at a relative's house, getting ready to go to a wedding and you're both feeling really horny - sometimes the excitement of doing it, when you're under time pressure, when you really shouldn't and there are people waiting to attend an important function, more than makes up for the above risks.

IMHO.

LOL, I know what you mean. But some times you can take these things a bit too far. :Hijabi:

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If we neglect our wives, we will surely reap what we sow.

That's an unfortunate choice of words, I think dirac is talking about sowing nothing. ;)

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