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In the Name of God بسم الله
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shiaofhussayn

A Pious Sunni Vs. Carefree Shia

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(salam)

Okay brothers and sisters. As I have already told you, I am getting married Alhamdulillah. But during the last few weeks, there were quite few shias friends that were not happy with my decision to marry this sister. Why? Because she is not a Shia. Well, one she is Somali, just like me, and she is also my cousin. She is very religious and practicing. She is few chapters away from completing the memorizing of the Quran, she is almost a hafidh of Quran. She has a wonderful personality and is Hijabi. So all these and much more attracted me to her and plus, I was trying to earn my mother's pleasure who told me bout her and wanted me to marry her. Her family knows that I am a Shia and they are okay with it (to my surprise). But anyway ... here is the deal

I hope I do not offend anyone first of all but what would you have done? Will you ever a choose a Sunni over a Shia, even if the Sunni is more pious from the Shia (at least of what is apparent since we cant judge what is inside one's heart)? Or is that a no-no no matter what the situation is? Interested to hear your opinions.

Thank you. :)

wasalaam

fi amanillah

Br. Abdul-Mahdi

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Even if the sunni was a pious one i would definately choose the shia one...as a female i say i wouldnt wanna be the reaso in more sunis or sryy that was rude...i meant maybe the not so pious shia will change..and that way more shias

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(salam) Congratulations on your wedding plans bro. Insha'Allah you will have a great wedding and you can eventually guide your bride to be to the path of the Ahlulbait (as)

ws

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Interesting replies.

Well pious, one who fears Allah, obeys Allah and Rasul, prays, fasts, observes Hijab (both sexes), is well mannered, educated and knowledgeable. Of course the Sunnis do not believe in the teachings of Ahlulbayt (as), but some of them do love them.

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Interesting replies.

Well pious, one who fears Allah, obeys Allah and Rasul, prays, fasts, observes Hijab (both sexes), is well mannered, educated and knowledgeable. Of course the Sunnis do not believe in the teachings of Ahlulbayt (as) , but some of them do love them.

Given those three attributes, a person would be steeped in mawwadat fil qurba, and hence Hubbe Ahlal Bayt. In that case he would not be revering the enemies of the Ahlal Bayt. In simple terms, he would be a Shia. Khalaas.

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I would choose the shiite girl who is not religious..But...

Dont worry about converting her, let her stay sunni

Doesnt matter really what she believes

Just make sure and what is very dangerous to make absolutely 100% your kids will be shiites and never let her indoctrinate them and if she does make sure you always have the answer ready

You are married to her now, she is your wife, but she is not the future

your kids are

Edited by Rubaiyat

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(salam)

Im a Sunni and if it was the other way round, and if i had a choice neither. BUT if i had to choose between the 2, i would marry the impious Sunni. People do change.

I cannot under any circumstances see me marrying a Shia. Unless there was no Sunni females in the world.

I think your case is different though. You were a Sunni and she is your cousin, and so its probably easier for you. The same reason probably why her parents accepted the proposal.

Edited by Kaka

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(salam)

im actually surprised her family are ok with it. i personally am on the opinion that sunni/shia should not mary (sorry, if i have offended anyone).

anyway, brother marry the one who fears Allah. the girl who is pious and will teach the deen of Allah to your kids...dont rely on the shia girl to change...what if she doesnt..

and as for love of ahlel bayt...if she fears Allah and follows the prophet muhammed (pbuh)..then of course she will love ahlel bayt.

inshaAllah there will be khair...

(wasalam)

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Salam

^That is very kind of you brother, saving a shia rose from marrying somebody who loves the killers of the prophet and his family members.

Wasalam =)

I know im a nice person!

But anyhow i dont believe such marriages are permissable/conducive your comments, mine, and the sister agreeing with you are indicative of why.

If a Shia guy thinks like you its better if he marries someone from the ahlul kitab (By the way if he does think like you why on earth would he marry a Sunni?)

(salam)

im actually surprised her family are ok with it. i personally am on the opinion that sunni/shia should not mary (sorry, if i have offended anyone).

anyway, brother marry the one who fears Allah. the girl who is pious and will teach the deen of Allah to your kids...dont rely on the shia girl to change...what if she doesnt..

and as for love of ahlel bayt...if she fears Allah and follows the prophet muhammed (pbuh)..then of course she will love ahlel bayt.

inshaAllah there will be khair...

(wasalam)

No-one will be offended we all agree with you lol!

However you make that comment and then say its ok to marry someone pious if they are Sunni??? She may be pious but according to you Shias (look above) she would not only be misguided, a munafiq even worse love people you dislike and who you believe killed the ahlul bayt. How can such a marriage be justified?

Edited by Kaka

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No-one will be offended we all agree with you lol!

However you make that comment and then say its ok to marry someone pious if they are Sunni??? She may be pious but according to you Shias (look above) she would not only be misguided, a munafiq even worse love people you dislike and who you believe killed the ahlul bayt. How can such a marriage be justified?

lol!

i am sunni- Wa AlHamdulilah

i wouldnt even call a shia a munafiq.....i dint knw them to judge them, i leave that judgement to Allah alone.

and for those who call this sister a munafiq....wallah, this is not the adhab our beloved prophet muhammed (saw) has taught.

Edited by ukht al~muslimeen

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lol!

i am sunni- Wa AlHamdulilah

i wouldnt even call a shia a munafiq.....i dint knw them to judge them, i leave that judgement to Allah alone.

and for those who call this sister a munafiq....wallah, this is not the adhab our beloved prophet muhammed (saw) has taught.

LOL! Sorry. Still no-one will be offended the feelings on Shia-Sunni marraige is reciprocated by Shias on here. Atleast we can agree on something!! lol

Nobody called this Sister a Munafiq! Just all of us Sunnis are, and she's a Sunni. Unless she converts she cant get rid of that tag :lol:

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Will you ever a choose a Sunni over a Shia, even if the Sunni is more pious from the Shia

A pious Sunni may very well be nearer to God than many Shias might like to believe. So if she is as pious as you say, do go ahead and marry her.

However, you must also think about the children. Do you wish to raise them as Shias or Sunnis ? Because you cannot raise them as both.

I believe your decision to marry any given person, Shia or Sunni, should take the fact of your children's upbringing into consideration.

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I believe your decision to marry any given person, Shia or Sunni, should take the fact of your children's upbringing into consideration

I agree. One of the most important

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lol!

i am sunni- Wa AlHamdulilah

i wouldnt even call a shia a munafiq.....i dint knw them to judge them, i leave that judgement to Allah alone.

and for those who call this sister a munafiq....wallah, this is not the adhab our beloved prophet muhammed (saw) has taught.

(salam) As some posters in thread have demonstrated, being shi'a does not automatically refine someones akhlaq. That said, I would probably marry the sunni assuming that by pious you mean more than just her adherance to fiqh, but mainly her akhlaq. Virtues such as honest, loyalty, good manners, trust and basic friendliness are much harder to impart in someone than is the method of prayer.....She would of course have to recognise that tawalla and tabarra are important aspects of my Shi'i beliefs and not stand in the way of that.....

WS

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I want to say that it shouldn't matter because they are both Muslim and yadda yadda yadda. But no one is going to see it like that. When you get married and it's just the two of you it's all fine and dandy, once you bring a kid into it, that's when it gets a little tricky. Shiites will want to the children to grow up as a Shia, and Sunnis will want the children to grow up as Sunnis. That may cause conflict and a lot of resentment towards both parties. If they are both pious and have a good relationship with Allah then this wouldn't be a problem. It may work, but it also may not.

If you work on the marriage and try for the sake of Allah to make it work, then inshallah it will go easy. You will need mad patiences when you get kids. I wish you the best of luck brother and Inshallah may Allah bless you and your wife to be. Have fun with the Somali wedding. The dancing in those weddings are usually fun.

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it's his decision to do whatever he feels is best

and i might add it is hard for a person who does not have shia relatives to marry another shia person. even if you have sunni relatives or non ithna ashari relatives it can be a real challenge to find a spouse. so i am not surprised when shia people without shia relatives marry people who are not shia beacuse the options are very limited.

btw since you've already decided to marry, why are you asking for opinions on SC? opinions are always free and plentiful, but rarely useful unless someone knows all the people in real life.

Edited by BintAlHoda

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(salam)

Once again, thank you all for your replies and opinions. Which, by the way, me hearing your opinions was not meant to have any influence or impact on my decision regarding this marriage. I knew very well and still decided to marry her. And as you said sister, it is very hard to get married to a Shia when first, there are no Shias around in the relatives. All the Shias in the family are males. And secondly, the Shias I know are very racist, no need to mention their races (they know who they are). And the reason I keep talking bout the Shias is not because I careless about other sects in Islam, or even other religions, rather, from all the creations of Allah, from the Jinn, the Insaan, the animal kingdom and the Angles, 14 STOOD OUT FROM ALL OTHERS. So we Shias are the ones to claim the ones who love them; we the Shias are the ones who claim to follow them, yet, we, Shias, are the ones who do live by Their principles'. Ahlulbayt (as) were not racist, yet you find their so called Shias acting in that way. Anyway, on top of all this, for me, it was an act of obedience to my mother as it is very difficult for me to say no to my mother for ANYTHING she asks of me (of course so long as it is in the boundaries of Islam). So brothers and sisters, your opinions was not going to affect my decision nor have any influence in it.

I just wanted to hear your opinions about the Shias views and outlooks in this matter because the few public speakers (very well known around the Shia world) I had talked to actually differed in the opinions that was mostly shared in this topic. Kinda gives me an idea of where, we, as Shia, stand in this topic, of course I do not mean to generalize.

Anyhow, thats that and thank you once again for your opinions. Appreciated it. :)

Please do keep me in your prayers.

waslaaam

fi amanillah

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... why are you asking for opinions on SC? opinions are always free and plentiful, but rarely useful unless someone knows all the people in real life.

(salam)

Even then rarely of any worth

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(salam)

I believe that as long as a couple find that they will not have problems in the future by marrying a sunni or shia then its fine.

However i also think about the couples kids and whether they would be sunni or shia.

Im shia and my 1st cousins are sunni and it can be difficult sometimes to interact with them due to different beliefs.

I have also seen in many cases that sunnis and shias marry one another and then their grandchildren are neither but wahabi and have complete different or no beliefs in many cases where they are SYEDs.

Zainab ^_^

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(salam)

Im shia and my 1st cousins are sunni and it can be difficult sometimes to interact with them due to different beliefs.

Zainab ^_^

(wasalam)

Becomes even more difficult and problematic when the issue is raising children according to a particular set of beliefs

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Neither, but if (God Forbid) I'm put in a situation where I'm forced to choose between these two and there is no other option, I'd opt for the carefree Shia.

Hats off [figuratively]!

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well for me, since im a women, if i would have to marry a pious sunni or a carefree shia, i would choose a pious sunni. I wont want my hubsand to be carefree since he is the role model of the family and is the teacher just like the mother. I dont want my childrens to be carefree and do haram things. Also Muslims men can marry a christian women or a jewish women. So i dont see a problem about a shia men marying a sunni women. You just have to make sure that she respect ur beliefs and to teach the childrens correctly.

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