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In the Name of God بسم الله
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imranali

Would You Ever......

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(salam)

Dear Brothers and Sisters

I would like to ask you an important question. I would like to have answer with detail.

Q: Will you ever marry a female who was married before and has a child.....

Q: Will your family accept both?

Q: Will you accept child of an other man (deal / life) and gave them same love as their own father do?

Waiting for your reply

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I would like to have answer with detail.

Q: Will you ever marry a female who was married before and has a child.....

I have no problems with that.

Q: Will your family accept both?

Not sure. Maybe.

Q: Will you accept child of an other man (deal / life) and gave them same love as their own father do?

I suppose so. But you don't really know until you've been put to the test, I suppose.

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why not to all the questions.

i mean i am woman... so if i was married and got divorced or widowed and have a child.. i would like to remarry and would expect new husband to see my child as his own and expect both his family and my to accept and respect our marriage.

so there..

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honestly im 12 but yes i could think of him as my own and i could name him abbas and my other son hussain and the other one hassan and have a happy life. Sorry im random but yes i would accept him.

Lol, thats what you think now. Just wait until you grow up. But I hope you'll think the same way though.. :angel:

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It's all a matter of finding mutually compatible interests (IMHO).

I had widowed aunt in Pakistan (no kids), we knew of a Pakistani widower in the UK who had married an English lady and had 3 kids. At the point of life he was at, 'lurrve' was not high on the agenda (perhaps it was when he was younger).

They got married - she has a stable home he gets hot chappatis (the lady's family had a role in the matchmaking). Cynical/material? Maybe. I call it realistic. BTW the kids have been brought up as good Shias which was not previously on the cards.

I also know a girl in her 30s who does not need a partner's money or passport, is good looking but who has married a widower with kids. In that instance they had known each other for a long time. So in that instance attraction would have played a role, but at that age she was not getting any younger. Everyone is ok with it.

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(salam) , Bismihi Taala,

I would not have any problem and so would my family! Our Imam (as) have married to the females with children from previous marriages and they also married to western converts. I do my best to emulate my Imam (as) life and hope I can be forgiven by Allah (SWT) for my sins.........

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Salam.

To be honest, speaking from personal experience - it hasn't worked out for my family. I, personally don't think I would have any qualms but like Sister Smiley said it's easier to talk the talk than walk the walk. Everything's circumstancial. Brothers here can say, 'Yes, of course, I'll do the honourable thing...' etc. but in the real world intentions aren't always enough. IMO anyways.

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If I was in such position, and liked the female enough to marry her (not in my case of course ;) ), then I would raise the issue with my parents to see their reaction. family are everything, if they are not happy then the chances are you wont be either. I think that regarding the child, I would come to love them if my love for my partner was sincere.

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Why do I have the feeling that majority of the brothers who answer positively to all the questions are all the young- unmarried and inexperienced people who haven't met their spouses yet..and still have a long long longgg time left before they actually are old enough to get one?? :P

Like a sister mentioned before..these things are kind of easy to do in theory..but not so easy in real life!!

Well anyway..to all of you who are 'positive'..your opinions will most probably change in the future years...and if not- mashaAllah at you lol :D

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No, I wouldn't :Hijabi:

(salam)

Would it not depend on the intensity of your feelings for the girl/woman?

Or is it that you are incapable of having any loving amatory feelings for a woman who has already been married and divorced or widowed?

All theory, since you are, like me, a woman.

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(salam)

Being a woman, I cannot tell how a man would feel about a woman who has been married before. But as a woman, if I had to choose a man who was married before, I'd think and take some things under consideration before I decide.

1. I'd like to know if he's gotten over his ex. I wouldn't want to be a shadow in his life u know..

2. I'd like to know his behaviour towards his ex wife. It would give me a fair gauge as to understand how he deals with situations.

and some other things that I can't remember right now.

The child is not an issue. All children are lovable. If the child is young (less than 6 yrs) then it'd probably be easier to gain his/her trust and show him/her love so he/she can accept a new mother. If older, it might take more effort and time. So patience is required.

Edited by syeda_zaidi

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