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Fatima_25

Need A Sisters Advice...

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(salam)

Salaam,

First of all, I think the “feelings” you have are correctly called “infatuation” and NOT love. But, if you are going to argue with me that these are “your” feelings and you know them more and better than I do, then be it! Here is an incomplete checklist for you to think about whether you actually love him or not or whether you are both loving each other or not or whether you want a relationship with him or not or whatever is in your mind: :)

Have you guys been working together and individually to reach God? Because, love is when two people work in righteousness and help each other to reach and connect with GOD individually and together.

Do you guys have humility before each other and before God? Because, love is to have humility before each other and for each other and both of you have humility before God. Does that make sense?

Can you guys sit in silence without having to say a word and walk away from that experience with the total feeling of contentment?

Are you or he helping each other or working together to help each other reach individual potential and collective potential?

Do you know all his disgusting habits? Because, love is when each partner is comfortable with each others disgusting habits and wanting to see more of those habits. Are you wanting to see and willing to be get accustomed to all his disgusting habits?

Are you willing to do boring mundane chores with him? Because, love is wanting to do and finding pleasure in boring mundane chores of the relationship but enjoy doing them together or individually (for the relationship).

Love is when one has humiliated the other publicly but still remained together. Have you ever done something this or has something like this happened? What did you guys do? If so, is he still with you? Or are you still willing to be with him? Or is your reputation too important than being together?

Has he (or you) stood by you when you have fallen so deep in the dark and hit the walls but stood by to pull you up?

Do you have lust for him? If so, then it’s not love. Love is when two people can sleep (after marriage) next to each other without lusting for each other.

Do these apply to your “feelings”? If not, then this is NOT love and you need NOT reveal your feelings to him, because trust me, this is just temporary. It will go away soon, inshallah.

Second, you should not at all reveal your “feelings” to him just so you could stop other girls (who are probably too immature and shallow!) stealing him from you. That would be ABSOLUTELY a wrong reason for revealing your feelings and establishing relationship with him. If he TRULY loved and CARED for you, he would not put himself in those circumstances where he would have to be with other non-mahram women and secretly try to make you feel jealous (when you are probably not at all jealous!). He would also not put you in this situation where you have to want to “possess” him so other girls don;t steal (since men tend to treat women as “object”, you might as well just do the same to him). If he TRULY cared for you, he would preserve himself for you and make the environment and circumstances comfortable for you and for himself so you both could discuss matters openly and sincerely. Also, if you go after him to prevent girls from stealing him, then a life with him would not be a happy life for you. Because, men like this don’t usually change, and they are usually “ego-boosting capitalist” and don’t truly care for you. Is a man like that worthy of your time, energy and love? NO. If he truly cared and wanted a relationship with you, he would make the first move and you don’t have to do anything. But, you can also be proactive about it!

By the way, if this boy you have crush on comes to SC, here are more things to look out for: :)

INVESTIGATE him thoroughly before you reveal your feelings and establish relationship! :) :)

Look out for signs of BAD character. Here are some examples:

If he is talking to you about how is all for social justice, human rights, women’s rights and all that, you know trying to impress you? Investigate whether he is actually doing this in real life or not or just sits in front of the computer and brags about himself but has NOTHING to prove in REAL life except for a part time job where he doesn’t do anything. :)

Check out all the posts he has ever posted under all and any usernames and see whether he is making racist, sexist, bigoted comments and chasing any girls (you do this by observing where he is posting, look for patterns and if you don’t know how to look for patterns let me know I’ll teach you). If he is, then you know he is NOT right for you and you know you could NEVER love and have a relationship with a guy like that. Because a person who makes that type of comments (and chases women) means that he believes and practices those practice, and he only demonstrates his LOW, WEAK IMAAN and UN-Islamic lifestyle. So, in other words, this person can NEVER bring you closer to GOD. A man like this doesn’t usually change! Neither you nor any other woman would ever be happy with a man who runs after every living and breathing woman! They have the tendency to cheat and hurt as well. So ditch him and find somebody else to love and build your relationship. :)

Check all the muslim chat rooms and including SC, and watch how he flirts, runs after, lies, and PMs immature and shallow teenage girls (29 running after 19 years olds) all night so he could boost his ego. Examine his disgusting behaviors in chat rooms and see how lowly his character is and how he lies that he does not know you so he could flirt with immature teenagers! Do this and you will know better whether to have a relationship with such a low life! You could never be happy with a LIAR, could you? Untill you see changes in his behaviors, HE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE and TRUST, innit? :)

May Allah guide you and the rest of us.

peace out!

P.S. You should take my word over any one's here, because I am an EXPERT in human behavior studies and I KNOW the patterns of gendered behaviors and what these mean. TRUST ME. :) :)

Edited by hippiehijabi

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Sister, I feel that u are very young, u r jus 12 years old. And its a fact that once we are growing up, we feel attracted to poeple. especailly the ones who give us some attention. but thats actually not love. and I pormise that once u grow older, u'll realise that it was jus a crush. so give urself sometime and think about all the pros N cons of this before stepping forward.

umm im not twelve but still thank you

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(salam)

Salaam,

First of all, I think the “feelings” you have are correctly called “infatuation” and NOT love. But, if you are going to argue with me that these are “your” feelings and you know them more and better than I do, then be it! Here is an incomplete checklist for you to think about whether you actually love him or not or whether you are both loving each other or not or whether you want a relationship with him or not or whatever is in your mind: :)

Have you guys been working together and individually to reach God? Because, love is when two people work in righteousness and help each other to reach and connect with GOD individually and together.

Do you guys have humility before each other and before God? Because, love is to have humility before each other and for each other and both of you have humility before God. Does that make sense?

Can you guys sit in silence without having to say a word and walk away from that experience with the total feeling of contentment?

Are you or he helping each other or working together to help each other reach individual potential and collective potential?

Do you know all his disgusting habits? Because, love is when each partner is comfortable with each others disgusting habits and wanting to see more of those habits. Are you wanting to see and willing to be get accustomed to all his disgusting habits?

Are you willing to do boring mundane chores with him? Because, love is wanting to do and finding pleasure in boring mundane chores of the relationship but enjoy doing them together or individually (for the relationship).

Love is when one has humiliated the other publicly but still remained together. Have you ever done something this or has something like this happened? What did you guys do? If so, is he still with you? Or are you still willing to be with him? Or is your reputation too important than being together?

Has he (or you) stood by you when you have fallen so deep in the dark and hit the walls but stood by to pull you up?

Do you have lust for him? If so, then it’s not love. Love is when two people can sleep (after marriage) next to each other without lusting for each other.

Do these apply to your “feelings”? If not, then this is NOT love and you need NOT reveal your feelings to him, because trust me, this is just temporary. It will go away soon, inshallah.

Second, you should not at all reveal your “feelings” to him just so you could stop other girls (who are probably too immature and shallow!) stealing him from you. That would be ABSOLUTELY a wrong reason for revealing your feelings and establishing relationship with him. If he TRULY loved and CARED for you, he would not put himself in those circumstances where he would have to be with other non-mahram women and secretly try to make you feel jealous (when you are probably not at all jealous!). He would also not put you in this situation where you have to want to “possess” him so other girls don;t steal (since men tend to treat women as “object”, you might as well just do the same to him). If he TRULY cared for you, he would preserve himself for you and make the environment and circumstances comfortable for you and for himself so you both could discuss matters openly and sincerely. Also, if you go after him to prevent girls from stealing him, then a life with him would not be a happy life for you. Because, men like this don’t usually change, and they are usually “ego-boosting capitalist” and don’t truly care for you. Is a man like that worthy of your time, energy and love? NO. If he truly cared and wanted a relationship with you, he would make the first move and you don’t have to do anything. But, you can also be proactive about it!

By the way, if this boy you have crush on comes to SC, here are more things to look out for: :)

INVESTIGATE him thoroughly before you reveal your feelings and establish relationship! :) :)

Look out for signs of BAD character. Here are some examples:

If he is talking to you about how is all for social justice, human rights, women’s rights and all that, you know trying to impress you? Investigate whether he is actually doing this in real life or not or just sits in front of the computer and brags about himself but has NOTHING to prove in REAL life except for a part time job where he doesn’t do anything. :)

Check out all the posts he has ever posted under all and any usernames and see whether he is making racist, sexist, bigoted comments and chasing any girls (you do this by observing where he is posting, look for patterns and if you don’t know how to look for patterns let me know I’ll teach you). If he is, then you know he is NOT right for you and you know you could NEVER love and have a relationship with a guy like that. Because a person who makes that type of comments (and chases women) means that he believes and practices those practice, and he only demonstrates his LOW, WEAK IMAAN and UN-Islamic lifestyle. So, in other words, this person can NEVER bring you closer to GOD. A man like this doesn’t usually change! Neither you nor any other woman would ever be happy with a man who runs after every living and breathing woman! They have the tendency to cheat and hurt as well. So ditch him and find somebody else to love and build your relationship. :)

Check all the muslim chat rooms and including SC, and watch how he flirts, runs after, lies, and PMs immature and shallow teenage girls (29 running after 19 years olds) all night so he could boost his ego. Examine his disgusting behaviors in chat rooms and see how lowly his character is and how he lies that he does not know you so he could flirt with immature teenagers! Do this and you will know better whether to have a relationship with such a low life! You could never be happy with a LIAR, could you? Untill you see changes in his behaviors, HE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE and TRUST, innit? :)

May Allah guide you and the rest of us.

peace out!

P.S. You should take my word over any one's here, because I am an EXPERT in human behavior studies and I KNOW the patterns of gendered behaviors and what these mean. TRUST ME. :) :)

ok thanks alot :) salam

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(salam)

Salaam,

First of all, I think the “feelings” you have are correctly called “infatuation” and NOT love. But, if you are going to argue with me that these are “your” feelings and you know them more and better than I do, then be it! Here is an incomplete checklist for you to think about whether you actually love him or not or whether you are both loving each other or not or whether you want a relationship with him or not or whatever is in your mind: :)

Have you guys been working together and individually to reach God? Because, love is when two people work in righteousness and help each other to reach and connect with GOD individually and together.

Do you guys have humility before each other and before God? Because, love is to have humility before each other and for each other and both of you have humility before God. Does that make sense?

Can you guys sit in silence without having to say a word and walk away from that experience with the total feeling of contentment?

Are you or he helping each other or working together to help each other reach individual potential and collective potential?

Do you know all his disgusting habits? Because, love is when each partner is comfortable with each others disgusting habits and wanting to see more of those habits. Are you wanting to see and willing to be get accustomed to all his disgusting habits?

Are you willing to do boring mundane chores with him? Because, love is wanting to do and finding pleasure in boring mundane chores of the relationship but enjoy doing them together or individually (for the relationship).

Love is when one has humiliated the other publicly but still remained together. Have you ever done something this or has something like this happened? What did you guys do? If so, is he still with you? Or are you still willing to be with him? Or is your reputation too important than being together?

Has he (or you) stood by you when you have fallen so deep in the dark and hit the walls but stood by to pull you up?

Do you have lust for him? If so, then it’s not love. Love is when two people can sleep (after marriage) next to each other without lusting for each other.

Do these apply to your “feelings”? If not, then this is NOT love and you need NOT reveal your feelings to him, because trust me, this is just temporary. It will go away soon, inshallah.

Second, you should not at all reveal your “feelings” to him just so you could stop other girls (who are probably too immature and shallow!) stealing him from you. That would be ABSOLUTELY a wrong reason for revealing your feelings and establishing relationship with him. If he TRULY loved and CARED for you, he would not put himself in those circumstances where he would have to be with other non-mahram women and secretly try to make you feel jealous (when you are probably not at all jealous!). He would also not put you in this situation where you have to want to “possess” him so other girls don;t steal (since men tend to treat women as “object”, you might as well just do the same to him). If he TRULY cared for you, he would preserve himself for you and make the environment and circumstances comfortable for you and for himself so you both could discuss matters openly and sincerely. Also, if you go after him to prevent girls from stealing him, then a life with him would not be a happy life for you. Because, men like this don’t usually change, and they are usually “ego-boosting capitalist” and don’t truly care for you. Is a man like that worthy of your time, energy and love? NO. If he truly cared and wanted a relationship with you, he would make the first move and you don’t have to do anything. But, you can also be proactive about it!

By the way, if this boy you have crush on comes to SC, here are more things to look out for: :)

INVESTIGATE him thoroughly before you reveal your feelings and establish relationship! :) :)

Look out for signs of BAD character. Here are some examples:

If he is talking to you about how is all for social justice, human rights, women’s rights and all that, you know trying to impress you? Investigate whether he is actually doing this in real life or not or just sits in front of the computer and brags about himself but has NOTHING to prove in REAL life except for a part time job where he doesn’t do anything. :)

Check out all the posts he has ever posted under all and any usernames and see whether he is making racist, sexist, bigoted comments and chasing any girls (you do this by observing where he is posting, look for patterns and if you don’t know how to look for patterns let me know I’ll teach you). If he is, then you know he is NOT right for you and you know you could NEVER love and have a relationship with a guy like that. Because a person who makes that type of comments (and chases women) means that he believes and practices those practice, and he only demonstrates his LOW, WEAK IMAAN and UN-Islamic lifestyle. So, in other words, this person can NEVER bring you closer to GOD. A man like this doesn’t usually change! Neither you nor any other woman would ever be happy with a man who runs after every living and breathing woman! They have the tendency to cheat and hurt as well. So ditch him and find somebody else to love and build your relationship. :)

Check all the muslim chat rooms and including SC, and watch how he flirts, runs after, lies, and PMs immature and shallow teenage girls (29 running after 19 years olds) all night so he could boost his ego. Examine his disgusting behaviors in chat rooms and see how lowly his character is and how he lies that he does not know you so he could flirt with immature teenagers! Do this and you will know better whether to have a relationship with such a low life! You could never be happy with a LIAR, could you? Untill you see changes in his behaviors, HE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE and TRUST, innit? :)

May Allah guide you and the rest of us.

peace out!

P.S. You should take my word over any one's here, because I am an EXPERT in human behavior studies and I KNOW the patterns of gendered behaviors and what these mean. TRUST ME. :) :)

WOOOOW !!!!

why dont you make your own website and become a guidance councilor ..you gooo girl :!!!:

&&&& thank you very much Jenneh 19 for agreeeiing with me haha

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Im 12 so this will sound super retarded coming from me but imam Jafri Sadiq A.S has said: love the one you marry dont marry the one you love . Credit to whoever taught me that someone on shiachat.

You don't need to downplay yourself bro...Why the need to tell the age if what you're saying is right anyway? :) it'll only make ppl look down even though they shouldn't be!

i also think you should consult your parents... you dont want to bring a 3rd person into this and ask them to talk to the guy for you and then your parents finding out from people about your little relationship and not from you...

be wise and think carefully hun...

FOR SURE! I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned the parents till this post.

For all the people telling the sister to do a mutah with the guy if he likes her too...you should have also mentioned that her father's permission would be necessary.

Sis, do NOT do anything behind your parents backs. Keep them involved, as much as you may hate that...In these situations if you want to go any further in the relationship with this guy, it is absolutely necessary that you keep your parents involved--for religious reasons (fathers permission), reputation, as well as respect towards your parents. The guy should also have respect for you and your family by approaching them (his parents approaching too).

And I think Sis hippiehijabi made the best post in this thread :)

Give yourself some time and space from the guy...think about everything..work on getting closer to Allah swt and see what happens..I wouldn't suggest approaching the guy yourself btw...I don't think that would be good personally.

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Give yourself some time and space from the guy

I agree that that will be the best therapy. Because clearly, she is totally smitten by him. Seeing him or confiding her love for him could be outright dangerous. He could easily abuse her confidence.

I wouldn't suggest approaching the guy yourself btw...I don't think that would be good personally.

Spot on !

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(salam)

you want islams advice?

in islam when a girl likes aguy they get married... either temporary or permenant

many people will tell you early marriage is bad but they base thier talk on thin air

you will get 45 times more reward being married than single,,,,

the reason guys and girls are not approaching eachtoher properly is because there is no culture promoting marriage

just like what you see here.,,,, they tell you to leave him instead of study to marry him. and he might be the best person you will ever meet you would never know unless you study and think seriously.

they say 12 is too early, fatimat alzahra married around that age,

and you not 12 anyway and you are already late for marriage

i read yesteray in scince that the best age for fertility is 17 - 25

and the best ages for pregnancy are the young teens,,,,

experts say that the reason why we have a huge divorce rate today is the abandence of teen marriage.

but youll see people here saying " oh marrying young will cause diovrce"

opposite to the reality and the statistics that show the early marriages as more successful and todays late marriages as a big failiure

they want our genrations to become like this :

and islam is innocent from thier lies,

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Sis, do NOT do anything behind your parents backs. Keep them involved, as much as you may hate that...In these situations if you want to go any further in the relationship with this guy, it is absolutely necessary that you keep your parents involved--for religious reasons (fathers permission), reputation, as well as respect towards your parents. The guy should also have respect for you and your family by approaching them (his parents approaching too).

I am sorry, I missed out and I thought I had mentioned, grave mistake. :wacko: It is very imp to bring your parents in picture if you decide to go ahead with anything. I did suggest halal relationship, but also didn't mention its baggages.

Either forget him, or be sure for a commitment, if you can't commit then NOTHING DOING,RUN AWAY FROM HIM FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT.

And commitment means, ASK MARRIED PEOPLE :!!!:

Taking care of a house(Grocery, Laundry and all)

Financial Responsibilities

Relatives Managing

ETC, ETC, ETC

if you can do it, May Allah Help you, if you think not, then RUN............

But please (thts a request, coz I care) do not express yourself to him(irrelevant whether he says YES or NO), unless you plan to convert this into a HALAL relationship with parents knowledge, you will be falling in a bottomless pit and hurting yourself very badly in the bargain.

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you will be falling in a bottomless pit and hurting yourself very badly in the bargain.

I agree she needs to be very careful what she does. When one is in love, it is so easy to make a fatal mistake, which one regrets for ever.

May God help her.

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(salam)

sister get a mediator, a third party involved, as I said already. People might tell you it's too young to be in love etc, that's [Edited Out] IMO. You're 12, you're mature, just make sure you make the right decision and that's all. Make sure he's a momin guy who will help you strengthen your faith if you're ever with him in the future.

Get your parent's advice on the matter or a couple of your friends and see what they have to say. Inshallah things will turn out fine.

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(salam)

sister get a mediator, a third party involved, as I said already. People might tell you it's too young to be in love etc, that's [Edited Out] IMO. You're 12, you're mature, just make sure you make the right decision and that's all. Make sure he's a momin guy who will help you strengthen your faith if you're ever with him in the future.

Get your parent's advice on the matter or a couple of your friends and see what they have to say. Inshallah things will turn out fine.

Just to correct something, she said she was between 15 and 17 years old, the 12 year old was one of the posters who gave her advice.

I don't believe she's too young to be in love either, it's just more often than not, situations like this just turn out to be infatuations or crushes, that's just how teens are.

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yes you already fel into haraam and all of what your doing is haraam and i have a feeling you will be so hesitant to make it hallal

first of all you cant have boyfriends in islam...

secondly you must make a contract with the man if you are getting close to him ,,, contract doesnt mean he will sleep with you but its just to avoid the haraam,,,

and if your socity is savage about temporary marriage just do it secretly or move away from him

i dont advice you to go and fornicate with him or comit other forms of evil because you will regret and have alot of fire waiting for you...

by the way you said your very young ,,, are you 25 years old ????

because thats not very young for marriage thats very old.... thats 15 years late.....

today i red medical reports that the best age for pregnancy is 17 - 25

and the younger age is better

walslaam alaikum

In my opinion... the best post was by the 12 yr old! after that there's no need to discuss what she should or shouldn't do.

and Brother Alimohammad :donno: u scare me!

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Seeing him or confiding her love for him could be outright dangerous. He could easily abuse her confidence.

(salam)

Absolutely agree. He could abuse not only her confidence in herself, but he could also abuse the trust and emotions she has for him. Some immature guys like to just embellish and dwell in their own ego when they know and find out a girl likes them and abuse her-- a very unspiritual and un-islamic behavior.

I think what you could do is not think about him or things you can do to help you to not think about him are (not in any order):

pick a hobby :)

hang out with other friends

concentrate on your studies

obtain more islamic knowledge

become an islamic scholar

engage in voluntary social work

feed the poor-- do this every week

spend a day with a homeless person, learn about life without shelter, you will appreciate yours more and ditch the guy because you will find more meaning in your life without him in the picture, hopefully :)

get phds- several ones REALLY! :) and start using big words when you talk to people and confuse them, do this intentionally :)

smile at everybody :)

snap at everybody who tells you what you should do :)

Talk to God instead of talking to people, just make sure you are okay when people call you crazy. :)

Talk to your parents and start nagging how they have made your life miserable blame them for your inability to talk the guy about your emotions and form a relationship :) just tell them the truth. It’s their fault! Really :)

and blame Islam for everything else going wrong in your life coz you know it's a TOUGH religion :) but do this after you have obtained your 'phd' in it that way you can pull out your 'hot references' to support your position and win any debate :)

come to shiachat and vent your life problems and start snapping at anyone who disagrees with you :)

Do yoga daily

Take kungu, karate and other self defense classes so next time you have these feelings, you can kick the hell out of a guy "_

oh and PM me I will give you other "good" advices. :)

:) CHEERS! :)

Edited by hubbe_fatima110

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:!!!: that was hilarious!!!

(salam)

Absolutely agree. He could abuse not only her confidence in herself, but he could also abuse the trust and emotions she has for him. Some immature guys like to just embellish and dwell in their own ego when they know and find out a girl likes them and abuse her-- a very unspiritual and un-islamic behavior.

I think what you could do is not think about him or things you can do to help you to not think about him are (not in any order):

pick a hobby :)

hang out with other friends

concentrate on your studies

obtain more islamic knowledge

become an islamic scholar

engage in voluntary social work

feed the poor-- do this every week

spend a day with a homeless person, learn about life without shelter, you will appreciate yours more and ditch the guy because you will find more meaning in your life without him in the picture, hopefully :)

get phds- several ones REALLY! :) and start using big words when you talk to people and confuse them, do this intentionally :)

smile at everybody :)

snap at everybody who tells you what you should do :)

Talk to God instead of talking to people, just make sure you are okay when people call you crazy. :)

Talk to your parents and start nagging how they have made your life miserable blame them for your inability to talk the guy about your emotions and form a relationship :) just tell them the truth. It’s their fault! Really :)

and blame Islam for everything else going wrong in your life coz you know it's a TOUGH religion :) but do this after you have obtained your 'phd' in it that way you can pull out your 'hot references' to support your position and win any debate :)

come to shiachat and vent your life problems and start snapping at anyone who disagrees with you :)

Do yoga daily

Take kungu, karate and other self defense classes so next time you have these feelings, you can kick the hell out of a guy "_

oh and PM me I will give you other "good" advices. :)

:) CHEERS! :)

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(salam)

Absolutely agree. He could abuse not only her confidence in herself, but he could also abuse the trust and emotions she has for him. Some immature guys like to just embellish and dwell in their own ego when they know and find out a girl likes them and abuse her-- a very unspiritual and un-islamic behavior.

I think what you could do is not think about him or things you can do to help you to not think about him are (not in any order):

pick a hobby :)

hang out with other friends

concentrate on your studies

obtain more islamic knowledge

become an islamic scholar

engage in voluntary social work

feed the poor-- do this every week

spend a day with a homeless person, learn about life without shelter, you will appreciate yours more and ditch the guy because you will find more meaning in your life without him in the picture, hopefully :)

get phds- several ones REALLY! :) and start using big words when you talk to people and confuse them, do this intentionally :)

smile at everybody :)

snap at everybody who tells you what you should do :)

Talk to God instead of talking to people, just make sure you are okay when people call you crazy. :)

Talk to your parents and start nagging how they have made your life miserable blame them for your inability to talk the guy about your emotions and form a relationship :) just tell them the truth. It’s their fault! Really :)

and blame Islam for everything else going wrong in your life coz you know it's a TOUGH religion :) but do this after you have obtained your 'phd' in it that way you can pull out your 'hot references' to support your position and win any debate :)

come to shiachat and vent your life problems and start snapping at anyone who disagrees with you :)

Do yoga daily

Take kungu, karate and other self defense classes so next time you have these feelings, you can kick the hell out of a guy "_

oh and PM me I will give you other "good" advices. :)

:) CHEERS! :)

LoooLLL.. OK i make my amendments.. After the 12 year old.. this is the most amusing reply! Sister Hubbe Fatima.. can i PM u too to ask for advice? I would really like to know if i can push any other blames on other pple.. :P

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hohohohohoh that was funnyyyy. ... sis hubbe fatima...how come u didn't give me the same advice to my problems? tho i actually also liked the advice you gave me in my post. thanx

and sis fatima25, ive taken up some hobbies.. i m taking sewing and cooking classes alongside my studies.. it keeps me busy...

(salam)

Absolutely agree. He could abuse not only her confidence in herself, but he could also abuse the trust and emotions she has for him. Some immature guys like to just embellish and dwell in their own ego when they know and find out a girl likes them and abuse her-- a very unspiritual and un-islamic behavior.

I think what you could do is not think about him or things you can do to help you to not think about him are (not in any order):

pick a hobby :)

hang out with other friends

concentrate on your studies

obtain more islamic knowledge

become an islamic scholar

engage in voluntary social work

feed the poor-- do this every week

spend a day with a homeless person, learn about life without shelter, you will appreciate yours more and ditch the guy because you will find more meaning in your life without him in the picture, hopefully :)

get phds- several ones REALLY! :) and start using big words when you talk to people and confuse them, do this intentionally :)

smile at everybody :)

snap at everybody who tells you what you should do :)

Talk to God instead of talking to people, just make sure you are okay when people call you crazy. :)

Talk to your parents and start nagging how they have made your life miserable blame them for your inability to talk the guy about your emotions and form a relationship :) just tell them the truth. It’s their fault! Really :)

and blame Islam for everything else going wrong in your life coz you know it's a TOUGH religion :) but do this after you have obtained your 'phd' in it that way you can pull out your 'hot references' to support your position and win any debate :)

come to shiachat and vent your life problems and start snapping at anyone who disagrees with you :)

Do yoga daily

Take kungu, karate and other self defense classes so next time you have these feelings, you can kick the hell out of a guy "_

oh and PM me I will give you other "good" advices. :)

:) CHEERS! :)

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