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In the Name of God بسم الله

Hajj - Share Your Stories

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hashmo

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[Mod Note: Replies that are not a member's hajj stories/experiences will be removed. Thank you.]

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(salam) Brothers and Sisters,

Alhamdulilah I returned from my Hajj journey last week. It really was quite an eye opening experience that has taught me alot about patience, thankfulness to Allah, brotherhood, forgiveness and remembering our Islamic Principles and keeping them close to heart to help put our daily trials into perspective.

Has anyone on the forum got back recently from Hajj this year? How do you feel upon returning home and going back to your daily routine? What's changed?

I'm missing the Muslim brothers and extended family that I made in my Hajj group. I've never felt such closeness and friendship and kindness before. Its kind of strange and unsettling returning to my relatively solitary life. I feel like I'm going to return to my self-centred ways without having the good moral example of other Muslim guys around me 24/7.

I've found it hard to re-adjust back to my daily chores...after three weeks of sleep, eat, pray, sleep, eat, pray, its a bit overwhelming coming home to job, chores, groceries etc...

I also feel a bit disconnected...after seeing the really poor sleeping on the streets in Mina and outside the Haram in Makkah (even myself having stayed in pretty basic conditions but having been quite happy and contented and provided for alhamdulilah) to coming home and seeing everyone splashing out over Xmas shopping and the post Xmas sales. Also coming back from a place where even the odd stray hair poking out from under a lady's hijaab is something which needs to be adjusted and corrected coming back to a country where I can't even buy a copy of the Sunday Times without seeing a naked body on the cover of one of the supplements is unsettling. Or even walking into a newsagent/suppermarket to do my groceries I'm confronted with cleavage on the magazine stalls. After wearing really simple clothing and living out of a rucksack in a tent in Mina, i returned home and felt overwhelmed and choked by all the possessions and 'junk' accumulated in my house.

At the same time I missed my family so much. I appreciate them so much more. Being around other Muslims taught me so much about selflessness and being kind to others and generous and helpful. I missed my home so much and I am so thankful for the roof over my head. Allah has been so merciful to me, I did nothing to deserve his Marcy and blessings. Never again do i want to complain about life - we have it SO easy compared to others. Never again do I want to complain about trivial things like decor or clothing - they won't matter on the Day of Judgement. I am so so blessed and so so thankful to Allah for having lived/living the life I have.

Also coming back from a place where you are reminded of your role models and making your 'contract' with God to live a life devoted to him, its feeling strange to return to a workplace where all social functions seem to rotate around alcohol, where people get stressed over meeting budgets and targets and people quite openly flirt or engage in relationships outside marriage. I'm not really sure how to handle it all.

Just random things like how do I tell my mum/sister/neice that I think they should be observing a stricter hijab. How do I handle female work colleagues who I used to have lunch with/walk down to the shops with at lunch. I know might all sound like me being really overly cautious about things....but after having spent the last three weeks or so living in a ultra-Muslim environment promising God that I am going to return home and live a life with Him as my focus/goal.....I'm just feeling a bit disconnected.

Any comments/help/advice/insight would be appreciated.

Hashim

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Assalamu Alaykum, brother Hashmo-

May your hajj be accepted insha'Allah.

I was blessed and fortunate enough to be able to make this journey this year, alhamdullilah.

There are just no words to describe how I felt during this trip. Someone in my caravan who had been for hajj before told me during our trip that when I return home, this all will appear like a dream. I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that, but now that I am home, those words keep finding their way back to me.

There is nothing I can say to describe the beauty of the Kaaba, or the grief that I felt when searching for the soul of Fatima Zahra (as) in Medina. Or the love that one feels when gazing at Jannatul Baqi, or the brotherhood/sisterhood that is shared when everyone is in Arafat wearing their white clothing. It's as if everything happened in one fluid motion, and all that's left of the journey is a collective set of memories that can only be felt in the heart.

I have felt a little disconnected since I've come back, since it is so difficult for people to know what I experienced. My thoughts all find their way back to fragments of my journey, and my heart feels so intense with longing that I'll burst into tears at random times of the day.

I think what helps is to surround yourself with people who have also gone on the journey- having that connection can be very helpful. Also, just having a support system of people who are good mu'mins is truly important. I am truly blessed- I have a very small community of people, but the women who I am friends with truly bring me closer to Him... that has truly helped me to adjust to life post-hajj.

More thoughts later insha'Allah...

Wasalaam

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(wasalam)

Alhumdullilah, I was able to complete my first Hajj this year.

I am thankful to Allah SWT that I got the opportunity to do Hajj. It is an incredible journey. It is unique to our religion. Every ritual has a secret behind it. A metaphor for life. When I completed my first tawaf. It was a crazy experience. I thought to myself that I probably wouldn't want to do this again. But people would say you really dont know until you leave how much you will miss Hajj. By the end, I didnt even have to leave Mecca to miss it. The last day I was at the Kaaba and I sat there for hours and hours and I did not want to leave.

It is difficult going from what we've experienced to going back to our lives back in the states. But I think, I have definately become a better person. One of the aspects of hajj is to look at your negative attributes and try to fix them. I thought a lot about it cuz you know yourself more than anyone. When we stoned the big shaitan I really wanted to change and not the things that i did before and rid myself of those negative attributes. I think the real hajj starts when we come back into "Life". With our responsibilities of work, school, groceries, etc. we have to try to be a good human being and a good muslim. I got to experience hajj at a very young age, alhumdullilah. Now I'm trying to talk to the youth and even adults that haven't had the opportunity to goto hajj, to go experience hajj. Not only is it a spiritual journey but a physical one as well. You can't just think that you can goto hajj you have to be proactive about it, you have to make duas, you have to plan.

Its not the same to pray in your room anymore after you have prayed in front of the kaaba. I got the opportunity to take a lot of pictures and a lot of videos. I have seen them many times since I have returned. I don't think ill ever get tired. Inshallah, we will get to experience hajj again and again. Maybe even get to do Hajj for Imam Hasan Askari A.S. Let people know the importance of Hajj.

Itemase Dua

Shabber

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I know how u guys feel or i knew how u feel. I didnt feel like adjusting back to my 'normal' life where people didnt understand where id just come from. It took a while but i did adjust but did i really want to? I watched the Hajj this year on Tv and I got really emotional. For a few days I woke up and tuned in to see what the Hajjies were upto! I know from experience and from someone else too that i made some mistakes a few months after returning back from Hajj...i didnt realise at the time but now i look back and i think "Oh my Lord, I commited this sin after Hajj". I feel like if i would have kept telling myself from the day i came back from Hajj " Youve come back from Hajj, dont do anything to stuff it up" It might have helped but its too late now. I know this happened to another person and they now feel like performing Hajj again. Please dont make that mistake. So please hold on to this feeling for as long as you can and see if you can adjust back but still maintain this feeling in EVERYTHING you do. Its just the society we live in that currupts us and now you all have an insight to the truth. You guys are seeing things purely....EMBRACE this feeling.

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alhamdulillah, i have been blessed to have been able to make my 1st Hajj this year too ALHAMDULILLAH!!!

leaving Madinah was so difficult-leaving Rasoolallah (s.a.w.), 4 Imams (a.s.) and Sayyidah Fatimah (s.a.)- not to mention sooo many companions and the sons of the prophet and his wives-

i think that now i have a much deeer understanding of why none of the Ahlulbait (a.s.) ever wanted to leave Madinah

may Allah grant all true believer to go there insha Allah. Ameen.

wassalam

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Salaamun 'Alaikum,

No profound articles written (yet), just notes that I took while in Madina/Mecca/Amman/Shaam. Nearly being attached by Baboons on Mt. Hira was interesting :) and the sweet smell of roses emanating from the cave in which the injured Prophet (p) was taken after Uhud was amazing. The comic relief from the discussion we had the religious police was always good laugh. Praying and doing ibadat in Jannah was enchanting. Giving up your musalah space at the Kaaba for a person to read two rakaat when no one else would budge was humbling. Scrolling on the wall of the Kaaba under the drain of Mercy inviting loved ones to Hajj next year was soothing. Walking from Arafat to Muzdalifa to Mina wearing two pieces of towels and flip flops that cost 4 Riyal, 12 hours straight -- running on pure adrenaline escaping stampede like scenarios when entering Mina was piety-instilling. Leaving Mina with our fists raised high saying Ya Husain! was the climax, the essence of Hajj. InshaAllah, next time Allah will give me the strength to visit Imam Ali (as)'s brother grave, Jaffar-e-Tayyar, who was given wings of an angel in place of his arms he lost in battle for Islam. But calmness came to me when I had my hands clenched around the golden bars that criss-cross over the grave our Lady Zainab (a).

The kindness of strangers will forever be remembered.

Wa Salaam,

Dhulfiqar

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Salam Alaykum..

Alhamdulillah just came back from Medinah!!

i dont know how i walked half the way from Arafat to Muzdalifa.. with carry cases in my hand!!!! and then to Mina.. Allah surely gives strength..

I loved doing the tawafs.. the sayee.. everything!!

My room mates became friends as if we knew each other other since times immemorial!! it was shocking how everyone cared!!

I miss reciting zyarats outside Baqi..

i remember how i used to change groups to get into Rawdah at my earliest and stay there for long.. ;)

I wish Allah will invite me once more!!! inshaAllah.. ameen!!!

I

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I was blessed this year to do my first hajj. For some reason, I felt numb by the overwhelming spirituality while I was there. Now after I am back, nothing seems the same.

I find this urge to go back and just spend my life in front of Kaaba :cry: . When we were sitting in the bus leaving for Medina, I told someone that I would like to live in Makkah for the rest of my life. They kind of laughed at me and said do you want to give up the "freedom" to live in Saudi Arabia. I think, just to gaze upon Kaaba is worth giving up all the freedom and comfort.

Everytime I pray, I think about the moment when I was praying behind Maqam-e-Ibrahim and with Kaaba right in front of me. And I long for that feeling. I am already planning to schedule my next trip and maybe go back as soon as time permits. There are so many Mustahibaats I was not able to do as I wanted to focus on the Wajibaats for my first Hajj and do them right. Now I want to go back and do all the Wajibaats and Mustahib acts as well. I used to hear about people who would go for Hajj and then after the first Hajj go back every year...I could not understand these people but now after coming back, I understand the pull of Kaaba and the spirituality.

Our normal daily lives do not seem that normal after the Hajj...everything you do, you think about your hajj and say is that in anyway going to take away the spirituality I got from the hajj...is it sin in any way?

One of the Maulana who was accompanying us at the trip told us after the Hajj, if you want to know that your Hajj was accepted, is to look at your daily life after Hajj and notice the change for the better...a better muslim....a better shia and most importantly a better human being.

After writing above, I remembered something and I had to come back and share it with everyone. They say that the Duas that you make at Haram come true. It is about a week since I have come back from Hajj and one of the Duas i made (about work related stuff) has come true miraculously. I think you have to believe in the power of the Dua.

Quote
[shakir 2:186] And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way.

The second thing I must mention is that they say that don't worry about the money you spend on Hajj as Allah will return it back to you. The second day, after I came back from Hajj, my boss called me into this office and gave me the annual numbers, and one of my compensation factors more than doubled from last year, it did not increase 10-15% which is normal for most years but doubled. This is truly amazing.

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Asalam alaikum

Brother Hashim, i pray your hajj is accepted, inshallah.

By Allah's grace I too was able to complete my first Hajj a few weeks ago. Describing the experience is honestly such a grueling task, a task tickling the border of impossible. No pretty words can ever do it justice. I just pray that all those wanting to perform Hajj, all those wanting to experience its brilliance and witness its beauty, are given the opportunity to do so and see/appreciate it for themselves.

Returning home wasn't easy. Leaving such sacred places and knowing that you won't be able to return for a long while is really heart-breaking and shattering... now that i am home i feel like most others, just craving to go back. Alhamdulillah, Hajj taught me a lot as well. It not only made me realise the importance of patience, kindness, tolerance and forgiveness, but it sort of freed me from the materialistic world that we live in, teaching me what life should really be about. I walk down the city now and just seeing the madness and phobia that people have with fashion, work and what-not, I thank Allah for the simplicity that comes with our perfect religion. I thank Him for guiding us to a constructive life, one away from such vanity and futility.

At the same time I wonder how I myself will adjust to living in such a world again and what changes I can and will make within my own life. As brother Hashim said, it’s difficult going back to your usual routine after living in such an ultra-Muslim environment where worldly worries were at a bare minimal. I don’t think you’re being overly cautious bro Hashim, as I’m also quite anxious about things like how I’ll approach my male uni friends now, or if it’s ok to wear a bracelet or bangle to shopping. I’m also strangely conscious when talking about others, in case something comes out the wrong way. They say when a person completes hajj it’s as if they were born again… you just want to stay in that pure state until death but sadly it feels impossible 

I pray Allah gives us all the ability to sustain our hajj spirituality, and invites us again and again. I pray to feel the satisfaction that comes after one endures the hardship and suffering of hajj, again and again and again. For all those who will perform Hajj in the future, I have one piece of advice- do anything and everything during those weeks to deepen your emotional connection with the Almighty. It is the ultimate take-home gift, and the connection that surpasses all else.

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Salam brothers and sisters,

I also compeleted my Hajj this year by grace of Almighty Allah..Alhamdolillah..Pls pray for me that my Hajj is accepted by the Most Merciful..

it was really an awesome experience especially doing tawaf, sai, stoning of devils and even looking at holy kaaba and last but not least the visitation of Al Baqi..

I cannot forget the tireless efforts to offer namaz in Riazul Jannah, near Maqam-e-Ibrahim, in Hateem, under Mizab-e-Rahma..

and getting injured while trying to kiss Hajre Aswad, Rukne Aimani (The corner of Kaaba that opened up to make an entry for Imam Ali(AS)'s mother) [ did anyone happen to kiss it ?]

and the massive traffic jams during travel to and from Arafat, Mina...and long, tiring walks from Muzdalifah to Mina, and Mina to Jamarat...

and hearing shreik voices of Saudi Police and Muttawas screaming Shirk/Biddah, and Hajjji Tareek..etc..LOL..

and the using toilets in Arafat and Mina camps...LOL..

and drinking sweet ZamZam...

But inspite of it's glory and grandeur, i found something missing in Kaaba as if it is sad, maybe sad for it's master Imam-e-Zamana(AS), maybe waiting for his return...

Edited by Abbas_Zaidi
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  • 2 weeks later...
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It's been almost a month since returning, and I just seem to be falling apart.

Subhan'Allah, every second that I was there, I felt like I was walking in a dream. I don't understand it- I look at pictures of myself, and all I can think is- "Was I really there? Is that really me in these pictures?"

I'm not doing well- the yearning is so intense sometimes, I don't even know how to handle it. It's so strange- I feel much more at peace with myself, but at the same time, I feel so passionately... depressed? I don't even know what the word is.

Does anybody have any tips for me? I've recently begun to feel like this, more and more. I think it's finally sunk in- I've woken up from that beautiful dream I was in.

The sight of the Kaaba feels like I am in the presence of the gates of Jannah...

I miss gazing upon the Kaaba, I miss being in the tents during Arafat and Mina, I miss climbing Mount Hira, I miss sitting in Masjid al-Haram until I can barely keep my eyes open, I miss the atmosphere of longing felt by everyone, I miss wearing my ihram clothes, I even miss doing tawaf among the crowds of people who keep pushing you around! *I (might) even miss dealing with the niqaabi guards in Medina!!!*

Ya Allah....

Eltemase dua'a everybody...

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You need to find your own 'haram' within the city you live in and to prostrate and imagine your at the place you yearn to physically occupy. The power of the mind is overwhelming and if you can pretend you are near rasoul Allah's tomb, respectively, then you have attained one of the post hajj virtues.

What helped me connect spiritually on the day of arafat was a clear mind... no work, school... family. Its was just me and Allah (swt). Just thinking about the geography of the land and looking at the mountains truly inspired deep thought and reflection. I thought to myself all the imams visited this land, stepped on the same hot sand, gazed at the majestic mountains... this helped me connect tremendously. I thought of Imam Hussain (as) and how he left in the middle of his hajj to karbala, visiting this land before his martydom. I felt honored to be among the same locations as our role models... so now i just stare at the moon or the sky or watch a sunset, and know that all the prophets and ahlul bayt looked to this same miracle and thought of Allah, creation, existence, and submitted to it. It helps get me in the right mind set.

But i have to say, nothing beats a good old fashion sujood that makes you stiff as a log. We should all practice and find our own comfort zones in sujood.. (palm position, knees, breathing patterns, where to place the elbows, how close your knees are to your chest.. can you feel your heart beat... is the mosque/location dead quiet, is it just you in there with dimmed lights... do you like dimmed lights?, are you scared... would you be ok with the angel of death coming in right now, etc) and as soon as we perfect that action, we can get a taste of what our prophets excelled at and help strengthen our connection with the rope of Allah and finally emit rays of tranquility and happiness that nothing will dare penetrate it.

Imam Ali was known to smile all the time... i guess id smile all the time knowing Allah is pleased with me and that im coming back to him.

Path- Hajj mabrouk hun, i saw ahmednjad during sa3ee. ;)

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  • 2 years later...
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Salam :)

Alhammdulilah for Allah swt giving me the chance to go on such a journey.

My hajj experience was the best thing i have ever been through. it was the one thing that changed me mentally, physically spiritually. I went when i was 13 with my parents and i have always longed to go back. there was something about it that got me, that immediate connection you feel with Allah swt as if it is just you and him. the moment that got me was praying in masjid al haram infront of the kaaba. it really hit me and when i did sujood for the very first time i began crying and crying. I miss the warmth of the marble floor of masjid al haram, that ultimate feeling you get when you kiss the kaaba and confess all your sins and ask for your dua. i miss everything there... the journey changed me and changed my youth life from there on. i was never the same again.

over there you develop spiritually so much it allmost feels euphoric, it feels as your spirituality has numbed you and allowed you to look at everything from a diferent perspective. the day of arafah really got me. i was the youngest girl in the hajj group and i was a bit overwhelmed because at one stage i thought why am i here? im so young.... but i had this impulse at one stage to go to an empty spot on the sand and i fell to my knees and you feel subhanallah that Allah swt has his gates of forgiveness there and open for you because he was always listening to his servants crys and needs.

i miss walking around in the humid air at masjid al nabawi, sitting and reading dua endlessly. i miss drinking sweet zamzam whilst doing safa and marwa. i miss just sitting there and gazing at the kaaba,

most definately, i miss how when you were doing tawaf, someone would shout salawat and do so for every member of the prophets saws family and the thousands of people there in unity would say it together.... that for me really got me.

hajj has made me realise that life can be looked at from a different perspective. life is a spiritual journey to be embraced. inshallah all brothers and sisters will get the opportunity to go because this is the experience that deepens your relationship with the almighty swt and develops you as a person in all forms - spiritual, mental, physical.

may the believers of Allah swt meet in jannah inshallah w salam......

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Salaamun `alaikum

I wasn't aware of the existence of this thread. AlHamdulillah, I had the opportunity to go last year.

I hated the Tawaf and I feared going for it.

No, that is not my only memory. But it is a poignant one, one that shall remain etched in memory till I have the answer to my question, and my satisfaction. The pilgrimage was more than a spiritual journey; it was, as a neighbour of mine termed it when I was recalling everything from the trip for her, an adventure (so yes, LOTS of memorable events), but one that brought me more than I had bargained for.

May Allah hasten the reappearance of His Hujjah. In it truly, is the relief.

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  • 3 years later...
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I also went on Hajj this year. It is an amazing experience. I would say every one needs to go. There is nothing like it. Even a few months on, I am still finding hard to adjust back. Its like you gave your baya to Allah, your creator and you feel you have to live up to it. You feel so much more conscious of sinning. I remember spending the night out in the open in Muzdalifa and then returning home and watching bloomburg on TV and thinking how fake all this is. How humans are disobeying their creator and for money they are destroying this beautify earth, a creation of Allah most high.  

The first time I went to Makah was when the US was fighting in Faluja in Iraq. It was ramazan and the night of lail il kadar. At the time all the Sunnis and Shias were united against the US. That night away from the cameras at 3 a.m. the people went out to pray. Then Adbul Rahman Al-Sudais did the dawaa I remember it lasted almost half an hour. It was very critical of what was going on in Faluja. All the Muslims were united. Then Muqtadar as sadar decided to join in against the American. Then Najaf was besieged. Then I saw Sastani in London presumably for medical treatment with all his advisors. Then I saw deals being made. Then I saw Nasrullah advising against making such deals and saying the same divide and rule policies were implemented in Lebanon in the 1980s. Then I saw divide and rule. The Shia and Sunni poor did not appear to benefit. Only a small minority benefited. People were cleared from their house so that gangs could take over their property. Then I saw the new Iraqi super rich with their blonde prostitutes under their arms in London. Then I saw the poor Iraqis on TV trying to survive.   

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  • 1 month later...
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Salam allaikum

This is not a story. It's the reality happing now.

Now we are in Medina and the day after tomorrow we're going to put on just two white towels and go to the mosque shajarah to say Labbaik.

This is amazing, and I hope you all come here one day.

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  • 1 year later...
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Salam To All
Performing Hajj was the most blessed experience in my whole life time. I feel lighter then a feather AL HAMDU LILLAH and my soul feels like is rising towards to the sky and beyond AL HAMDU LILLAH, When i got back home, one of my sunni colleagues asked about my Hajj experience and when i told hime about the Tawaf un Nisa, he went silent and after 5 mins said to be that do i have any background information in regards to Tawaf Un Nisa. I promised him that i will gather the infor and explain it to him soon. His  questions  in regards to Tawaf un Nisa were as follows, 
1. Why is it called Tawaf Un Nisa.
2. Is it wajib for both men and women to perform.
3. What is the history behind Tawaf un Nisa in the time of Prophet Muhammad (S.A.A.W) and after.
4. If a person fails to perform Tawaf Un Nisa, he/she become haram for each other until they perform the Tawaf un Nisa Again, but sunnis dont do Tawaf un Nisa at all, does that mean all their children and wives are Haram.
5- Where in the Quran is their verse telling us about Tawaf un Nisa.
6. What is the Ahl e Bayt point of view on Tawaf un Nisa.
Please this is very important for me. Anyone guide me in the right direction in regards to this or if possiblle answer the questions.
Take care
[edit]
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