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Dreamweaver190

I Want To Do Mutah - But How Do I Go About It?

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salaamunUlaykum wa rahmutullahi wa burakatoh...

how old r u ? and why not marry?

Salaam,

I consider myself to be a god-fearing mature married 30's male and fearful of committing adultery, so interested in contracting mutah with someone, preferable a divorced or widowed woman. I have read some of the Mutah posts on this site and sites like MUTAH.COM (which appears to be 'dead' in terms of support/maintenance etc). My marriage lacks certain elements and I think I have a high sex drive. However, I do not want to upset my wife but I am really interested in doing it responsibly and formally within the boundaries laid down.

Does anyone know any websites dedicated to making this trype of arrangement with someone or where I should start? I am UK based...

thanks and God bless all....

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Salaam,

I consider myself to be a god-fearing mature married 30's male and fearful of committing adultery, so interested in contracting mutah with someone, preferable a divorced or widowed woman. I have read some of the Mutah posts on this site and sites like MUTAH.COM (which appears to be 'dead' in terms of support/maintenance etc). My marriage lacks certain elements and I think I have a high sex drive. However, I do not want to upset my wife but I am really interested in doing it responsibly and formally within the boundaries laid down.

Does anyone know any websites dedicated to making this trype of arrangement with someone or where I should start? I am UK based...

thanks and God bless all....

does your wife agree with this and allow u to mutah?

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Guest Power Of 786

You have to make up with your wife, this will surely upset her and will put her in thoughts.

I suggest you to talk to her fairly and lay down your feelings infront of her, Mutah will only make things worser between you and your wife.

Althought im a Shia, i dont support Mutah at ALL!!

And i think you shud talk to your wife about this..

( and please people, dun jump on me by saying that Muta is allowed and i shudnt be saying the above bolded - this is my personal opinion and shudnt upset anybody here :) )

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haha, you've so never had a wife/girlfriend.

dude, sometimes a man just gets bored.

i think it is Shaytan that makes man bored of reality and encourages him to seek other ways that will further complicate things...so plz be aware of the blessings we already have. and also say shukrunlillah plenty.

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i think it is Shaytan that makes man bored of reality and encourages him to seek other ways that will further complicate things...so plz be aware of the blessings we already have. and also say shukrunlillah plenty.

No, it's quite natural. That doesn't justify hurting his wife, of course, but it's the reality.

I think he should put aside his desires for the sake of his wife and family, but many men won't.

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Can someone please Ban this [Edited out] please.

I hate people who come on this website and their very first post is about Mutah. As other people pointed out you are already married. If your high drive bothers you so much then keep on fasting and practice restraint.

Edited by ~RuQaYaH~
No insults/personal attacks on other members. And people cannot be banned unless they break site rules.

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No, it's quite natural. That doesn't justify hurting his wife, of course, but it's the reality.

I think he should put aside his desires for the sake of his wife and family, but many men won't.

i disagree. i believe any negatives are rooted 2 Shaytan.

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Guest Power Of 786
(salam)

Yes sis powerof 786 im totally agreed with you.

WHYYYYYYYYY you want to do mutah ????

If you have already a wife.Plzzzzzzzz dont play with her feelings.

I know.. but May Allah guide this brother and make his married life a perfect one..

i think it is Shaytan that makes man bored of reality and encourages him to seek other ways that will further complicate things...so plz be aware of the blessings we already have. and also say shukrunlillah plenty.

^Exactly..

If a man gets bored, than why didnt my husband get bored of me? Althought i irratate him so much at times..

i think those kind of husbands who get bored just married coz of thier desires.

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Mutah Match maker sites ... do these sites actually exist :huh:

must have thounsands of customers each day ;)

lol :D

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You have problems in your marriage and you think having sex with another woman will make you or your marriage better? Where is the logic in that? Chances are you are the reason she's not satisfying you. Have you treated her like lady? Did you buy her nice things? Take her out? Get her hair done? Did you TELL her what you'd like? And did you give her what SHE LIKES? (both in the bedroom and out the bedroom!). [and for godssake dont answer...they're questions to make you think] When was the last time you guys went out on a DATE and when did you last dress nice for ur wife and put on nice cologne??

Hope you dont bring home a disease to your wife. Condoms don't protect against everything.

And stop looking at other women... bored....blah...if you weren't looking you wouldn't know what u were "missing".

Edited by Madre de Zahra

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haha, you've so never had a wife/girlfriend.

dude, sometimes a man just gets bored.

completely wrong, im married with kids. By your argument if i get board can i have some wine or maybe just smash some stuff so im not board?

Mutah maybe halal, but so is divorce, but only in the correct circumstances.

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you say mutta is the solution to your marital problems and your 30 something.let me ask 2 things how do you know your wife doesnt have similar thoughts as you, if there is something missing in your marriage and you know what it is then repair it marriage is a lifetime commitmant especially for a woman .Some times divorce happens but this is a last resort.Muttah is also permitted to us mails as extra marital relationship but it should be carefully thought out,if you feel justified in your needs then discuss this with your wife and see her reaction. there are not only your needs to be catered for in this situation

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completely wrong, im married with kids. By your argument if i get board can i have some wine or maybe just smash some stuff so im not board?

Mutah maybe halal, but so is divorce, but only in the correct circumstances.

Good for you!. Now be honest and admit that men get (sexually) bored of being with the same woman over a long period of time.

No, the argument doesn't hold. Alcohol and vandalism is haram (unless it's your own stuff, in which case, feel free to smash it), muta and divorce are not. Now Im guessing this gent can't keep is pants on for much longer, otherwise he wouldnt be asking on this forum.

Hopefull he'll see it's not worth the trouble, if not then hopefully his wife will see it's nothing more than meaningless fulfilment of a very basic urge.

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In my opinion Mutah is a load of [Edited Out], don't be fooled into thinking it is permissible. If such a thing was permissible then why would it seem so wrong. I'm sure you won't allow your sister or daughter to do mutah with a man? In the same way, you shouldn't do it either. I'm not giving a fatwa, i'm just giving my honest opinion. If you're hormones are really riding high then it may be a good idea to tie the knot the proper way, perform nikkah and get married.

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(salam)

first of all muta' is a thing allowed in shi'ah islam, I have no shame over it, yes I would not accept my sister have muta with someone else so that's why I never do muta but to dissmiss something that Allah tabaraka wa ta'ala has allowed, we all have to realize that we are not on the same level of wisdom as Allah tabaraka wa ta'ala, for example, if I steal I must realize, accept and know that Allah is right when he says that stealing is wrong, then I steal only by being weak not by rebelling against Allah, the same thing with mut'a or polygamy, if you like these islamic rules of Allah (swa) then al-hamdulillah but if you do not like them then do not reject them, you must know as a muslim Allah is always right.

a shi'ah muslim can not and should not reject the words of Allah tabaraka wa ta'ala, such a dangerous thing, as the law in qur'an where Allah has given the man the right of polygamy, I love all of Allah tabaraka wa ta'alas laws, allowings and recommendations, so why would I not marry more than one women, because Allah is wiser than me so I can't cope with the requirements of Allah, I have to keep things in my paste, the same thing with muta', in dunya some of us are aginst it because of our weaknesses, but religiously none of shi'ah have the right to be against it, don't you see, this brother could as well be a sunni muslim that wanted to see the reactions of the shi'ahs, masha Allah, you have then just now showed him how confused the little ones of shi'ah are....astaghfirallah

(salam)

Edited by p@i@m

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(bismillah)

Assalam alaykum,

^^SShah.. Sis/bro, there is a time and a place for mutah .. however I think it is very very abused in society and feel it has been taken to the extreme in this instance where a married man has sought sexual intercourse elsewhere just because, as he eloquently phrased, his marriage was lacking in "certain elements".

... Now be honest and admit that men get (sexually) bored of being with the same woman over a long period of time.

Wow, as someone who is engaged I find that statement very disturbing.

Funnily enough though my fiance and I have actually had a discussion about it (yes we talk about things) and he said it was highly unlikely that a man could be sexually 'bored' with his wife unless he was used to a particular way of life before he got married.

A couple of points on this:

1. Bro Dreamweaver 190 - I am in no way assuming that you had a 'history' before you got married Allahu a3lam - as a Muslim I'd like to think you didnt inshallah. However I am wondering why you wanted to get married? I dont want to go through a series of questions with you as it would look like I was judging you and I am not. However if sex was the only reason you got married.. thats a shame and I feel really really sorry for you.

2. A word of advice to all the brothers on this forum who are not yet married. Do you and your future wife justice and abstain from sexual intercourse before marriage - you are less likely to get "bored" with her/it as:

  • you have no one else to compare the sexual intercourse to and
  • by refraining from your multiple experiences you wont feel the need to continue that pattern after marriage i.e. inshallah your pattern of abstaining and waiting will mean you have no 'urge' to look elsewhere and therefore stay faithful to your wife

Hopefull he'll see it's not worth the trouble, if not then hopefully his wife will see it's nothing more than meaningless fulfilment of a very basic urge.

Hmm, if all it is, is a "very basic urge" he should be able to fulfil it within the sanctity of his permanent marriage. However if it is more than this.. there may be issues he needs to talk about with his wife OPENLY. If you are genuinely "bored" I'm sure there are many halal means of making it un-boring.

Bro Dreamweaver, in the end it goes back to communication - you need to communicate with your wife (and vice versa) when it comes to all aspects of marriage. She will not be upset if you approach it in the right way, however she would be devastated if you went about seeking another sexual partner and she found out particularly if you hadnt brought her attention to any "issues" before hand.

May Allah (swt) bless all marriages with compassion, patience, understanding and love (and maybe even an attention span greater than 30 seconds ;) )

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In my opinion Mutah is a load of [Edited Out], don't be fooled into thinking it is permissible. If such a thing was permissible then why would it seem so wrong. I'm sure you won't allow your sister or daughter to do mutah with a man? In the same way, you shouldn't do it either. I'm not giving a fatwa, i'm just giving my honest opinion. If you're hormones are really riding high then it may be a good idea to tie the knot the proper way, perform nikkah and get married.

(salam) (if you are a muslim that is)

wrong, you are giving SShah special one in a million fatwa, it is not permissible, I don't even think that you for one are muslim, what are you zoroastrian, if so (meaning if you are not muslim) then muslims don't need to hear your opinions

(salam)

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(salam)

first of all muta' is a thing allowed in shi'ah islam, I have no shame over it, yes I would not accept my sister have muta with someone else so that's why I never do muta but to dissmiss something that Allah tabaraka wa ta'ala has allowed, we all have to realize that we are not on the same level of wisdom as Allah tabaraka wa ta'ala, the reasons of muta' are the this one, I know this brother makes one angry to think about muta' because brother how can you call yourself a god fearing man when you are married and want to do muta' and yet haven't even told her about it, to me that's just like a shaytaan fearing man, authu billahi min al-shaytaanirrajim, ya Allah, save us from the neglectors, ya Allah save us from the deAD ONES, YA Allah SAVE US FROM THE DEAD ONES, THE DEAD SOULS THAT HAUNT US, GHOST IN SHELLS, CURSED GHOSTS IN SHELLS.

a shi'ah muslim can not and should not reject the words of Allah tabaraka wa ta'ala, such a dangerous thing, as the law in qur'an where Allah has given the man the right of polygamy, I love all of Allah tabaraka wa ta'alas laws, allowings and recommendations, so why would I not marry more than one women, because Allah is wiser than me so I can't cope with the requirements of Allah, I have to keep things in my paste, the same thing with muta', in dunya some of us are aginst it because of our weaknesses, but religiously none of shi'ah have the right to be against it, don't you see, this brother could as well be a sunni muslim that wanted to see the reactions of the shi'ahs, masha Allah, you have then just now showed him how confused the little ones of shi'ah are....astaghfirallah

(salam)

Dude, you're not making sense to your own self. If you believe Allah (SWT) has allowed Mutah then what is your problem in allowing your sister to perform Mutah?

Make yourself clear

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(salam) (if you are a muslim that is)

wrong, you are giving SShah special one in a million fatwa, it is not permissible, I don't even think that you for one are muslim, what are you zoroastrian, if so (meaning if you are not muslim) then muslims don't need to hear your opinions

(salam)

I am a Muslim alhamdulilah. Just because I do not believe in Mutah does not make me a non-Muslim.

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If that is your situation I would advise the following. Buy your wife some new underwear, make the dinner, and tidy up, do the washing up, and then say how beautiful your wife is.

hahahah nice one

and pay for her to get a makeover

and look after the kids

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(salam)

I'm quite shocked at some of the responses in this thread. First off, whether anyone likes it or not, mutah (even while married) is halal. Obviously it may not be a wise decision to make but it doesn't change the fact that nobody has the right to look down on, demean or humiliate someone who seeks to do something that is halal. Second, noone here knows the brothers situation properly and people should really stop making assumptions about his motives or about what kind of a person he is. Islamically, we are required to assume the best of fellow Muslims.

wasalaam

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many Halal things such as divorce are permitted but not to be taken lightly the same goes for Muttah has he taken authority from his wife to enter the contractual realm of Muttah and as he says himself 2his high sex drive" shouldnt he by pass this temporary solution and enter into a permanant second marriage with perhaps a widow or divorcee as our Prophet did.Oh one question how many Mutta marriages did our Prophet contract to none i think even if they are permitted.their are many contributing factors to muttah not just relating to sexual desires, sexual desire can be controlled from within by true faith

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Can someone please Ban this [Edited out] please.

I hate people who come on this website and their very first post is about Mutah. As other people pointed out you are already married. If your high drive bothers you so much then keep on fasting and practice restraint.

Yup i am with U :angel:

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