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mustafa456

Help! Family & Personal Problems! Gay!

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look, i appreciate all the help but plz stop calling me a kid and we are kinda going off track right now. I am doing well in my Jihad-Al-Akbar but there are a few moments where i lose the plot. And can we not agure please brothers and sisters please? no violence and i am not married and i do not intend o get married until i am of age, and the talk of protection?!?! ugh :sick: so any tips on how i can control the 'moments' and any tips to strengthen my will power? i.e. duas, rituals etc... also i do feel lonely around here because i dont have ne1 my age. and i hate my cousin now

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(salam)

Brother, nice to see someone my age in here! I'm also 14 years old. And believe me - there's nothing that can't be helped by the will of Allah (swt), you just have to be a part of it yourself to show that you're committed to it.

It's a GREAT idea to start praying, not only the 5 daily prayers - but everytime you're in the mood for asking, thanking and so on. God loves those who ask. Don't call yourself gay, then you'll remain it.

If you're ever home alone and you experience homosexual thoughts, put on a tape or cd of Islamic chants or recite verses of the Qur'an to distract your mind, afterwards go perform wudhu and pray a do'aa - you know what they say, that when you say "Allahu Akbar" at the beginning of your prayer, you leave this world and all worries in this world. Doing this will give true meaning to the phrase "A'udho billah min al shaytaan al rajim" (I seek refuge in God from the Satan the cursed one). If you're at a location where you can't pray, focus your mind on something else, be disgusted by your thoughts and think about girls, not touch or look at them - just think, your imagination is open to anything!

Imagine at the pleasures and beauties of a girl and at bedtime - try and imagine yourself having intercourse with one and imagine yourself enjoying it soo much. Meanwhile, if the thought of a boy just happens to cross your mind, then think about all the unattractive things about them. A religious environment is also good and it shouldn't be so hard for you because as you said, you have a religious family. Oh yeah, someone mentioned going to bed tired - I don't recommend that - I've experienced not being able to wake up for Fajr prayers because I went too late into bed.

And keep making supplications to Allah (swt), and learn how to pray Salatul Lail & Salatul Ghufaila. There are also moments recommended for praying, moments where the Gates to Heaven are open.. Some of these are:

  • When wind is blowing
  • At noon
  • When raining
  • At dawns until sunrise

You can also make prayers to the 14 Infallibles, asking for their help as well and their mediation.

It may all seem like a big handful but it's not. It's only difficult if you want it to be :)

I'd looooooove to help you all that I can - even though 'jihaad al nafs' is supposed to be private, I am going through the jihaad myself - and I don't see why we shouldn't be able to help each other out. You can just reply to this topic and we'll figure something out :).

Fi amaan Allah!

Wassalam.

thanks and im glad that we think sort of along the same lines like thinkin about all the unattractive parts of a guy but intecourse hmm.. anyway you are a wise boy and good at religion for your age. May Allah allways protct you and take you closer to him. good luck in any problems that yuou may have

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(salam)

By the way brother Mustafa, I forgot to mention Do'aa Tawassul to you (you can find it on duas.org). It's said that there are no problems which it cannot solve.

Wassalam.

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Aww don't feel lonely there are many young people on here--I'm 14 too

I think you should start fasting..it will help you to control your desires. The best days for fasting are Monday and Thursday. Also, stop thinking of yourself as a homosexual. You are NOT. This is just something psychological and God does not create anyone like this. Be constant in your prayers and lower your gaze aound the guys. I'm sure you'll get around this and be right as rain! :)

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i think u shd start to CHANGE ur way of thinking by trying to stawy away from ppl u know r gayish......

u shd move around in straight men .......

u shud start Praying( it really helps)

hope ur successful and Allah is most MERCIFUL and FORGIVING ... if u start repenting ur sins right now all will be okay .. its never too late ....INSHAALLAH

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(salam)

Bro you are only 14 - it'll take time - usually during puberty before you may start liking women.

I think its unfortunate that you've been abused/been in a relationship at such a young age. Where do you live bro? If you are from the UK you prob need to speak to the Muslim Youth Helpline.

Personally I wouldn't approach the guy you 'fancy' cos chances are he might freak out and make you a laughing stock infront of the whole school and that would hurt.

You need to concentrate on your studies, keep busy, do some extra curricular activities like join a homework club, after school sports club etc, pray, read the Quran -listen to the Quran (better still if its in the language you understand best), just keep active and busy, read books.

I would assume that you are going through this phase as your body changes and you are trying to understand the body change, whats also known as exploring your body, so this 'attraction for guys' could be a phase. Tho I do think what happened to you when you were younger is a contributing factor to what you are feeling now.

Only cos you are not attracted to girls now doesn't mean you are gay.

Concentrate on other things and this may subside but def pray to Allah SWT to help you not to commit sin.

Bro I really think you will get through this and at least you've taken the first step by acknowledging that you may be falling into sin and that you want to prevent it.

With dua's

Ws

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(salam)

Bismillah al rahman al rahim,

Are you into any sports etc. to keep you busy from these thoughts? I think martial arts or weight lifting could be a good idea because it also increases your male hormone, testosterone, which again could help putting you in your natural role, because liking boys is not natural.

And remember, make the intention of getting rid of this problem for the sake of Allah(subhana wa ta'ala), and not for the sake of not being embarrased etc...

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Salam

I was reluctant to post this when I came across it but just to emphasis what a grave sin it is to practice homosexuality in Islam:

Iraqi police 'killed 14-year-old boy for being homosexual'

"Another fatwa from the late and much revered Ayatollah Abul Qassim Khoei allows followers to kill gays "with a sword, or burn him alive, or tie his hands and feet and hurl him down from a high place".

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/middle...ticle362151.ece

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Salam

I was reluctant to post this when I came across it but just to emphasis what a grave sin it is to practice homosexuality in Islam:

Iraqi police 'killed 14-year-old boy for being homosexual'

"Another fatwa from the late and much revered Ayatollah Abul Qassim Khoei allows followers to kill gays "with a sword, or burn him alive, or tie his hands and feet and hurl him down from a high place".

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/middle...ticle362151.ece

(salam)

Did the great Ayatollah al Khoei (ra) really issue that fatwa? :o I don't want to be disrespectful because he's probably one of my favourite scholars, so I'm not going to say in public that I disagree with him. However, I can say that I'm very disappointed in the Iraqi police. Taking the life of someone is wrong, as if they are Allah (swt) to decide when he get's to die. Instead of showing intolerance and lack compassion they ought to build a center for Islamic rehabilitation from homosexuality. A place where those whose minds have been infested with homosexuality can come, take all the time they need without wordly distractions and recover in the name of Allah (swt). Now doesn't that sound much better than killing him? I think so.

Wassalam.

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Salam

I was reluctant to post this when I came across it but just to emphasis what a grave sin it is to practice homosexuality in Islam:

Iraqi police 'killed 14-year-old boy for being homosexual'

"Another fatwa from the late and much revered Ayatollah Abul Qassim Khoei allows followers to kill gays "with a sword, or burn him alive, or tie his hands and feet and hurl him down from a high place".

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/middle...ticle362151.ece

So, homosexuality is a sin, but murder isn't ?

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(salam)

Did the great Ayatollah al Khoei (ra) really issue that fatwa? :o I don't want to be disrespectful because he's probably one of my favourite scholars, so I'm not going to say in public that I disagree with him. However, I can say that I'm very disappointed in the Iraqi police. Taking the life of someone is wrong, as if they are Allah (swt) to decide when he get's to die. Instead of showing intolerance and lack compassion they ought to build a center for Islamic rehabilitation from homosexuality. A place where those whose minds have been infested with homosexuality can come, take all the time they need without wordly distractions and recover in the name of Allah (swt). Now doesn't that sound much better than killing him? I think so.

Wassalam.

It is a sin to disagree with a scholar ?

Come on, is he infallible?

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i think your just going through a phase, stay strong in your prayers is prob the key, hoever keep youself busy, start a project of some sort, build something, create something, learn a new language, get something active like sports,

tbh i dont think you should even be thinking about relationships with girls or even boys, you are soooo young, and have potential to please Allah if you overcome this problem.

ws

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oh yeah and do you think that living with lots of sisters and no bros might have been the cause of this?

I think your problem is not with your sisters. I think because you have bad friends, who are your cousin. I think you acquired your behavior from there. If really you want repent you have to leave them.

the good thing is that you confess about your mistake. :)

Edited by green-emerald

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Guest rcherries

Freedomfromreligion: They're both sins. The way they handled the situation is wrong.

Edited by rcherries

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Guest rcherries

Mustafa456, Its probably just a phase. Dont act on it. There are other things you can do to refrain from it. I think there is a dua for stuff like this. You must remain constant on your prayers. Your Shaitan is powerful, read the Quran. You shouldn't hang around your homosexual cousins. You should discourage it. Engaging in sports at this time for you is not really the best choice. Your problem is not your sisters, its your enviroment. I don't think that you should personally talk to a Sheik. Your still young. You can change.

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^lol

What's next, animals and humans?

All in the name of Freeeeeeeeedom & equal Rights!

Here is a list of few diseases that are extraordinarily frequent among male homosexual practitioners:

Anal Cancer

Chlamydia trachomatis

Cryptosporidium

Giardia lamblia

Herpes simplex virus

Human immunodeficiency virus

Human papilloma virus

Isospora belli

Microsporidia

Gonorrhea

Viral hepatitis types B & C

Syphilis25

A fairly dispartial and well-referenced article by the 'National Association for research and therapy of Homosexuality' on the health risks of Homosexual activities :

http://www.narth.com/docs/whitehead.html

Gay Sex is in no way healthy!

With protection, the chances of any diseases approach 0.

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Could those who feel that homosexuality is unnatural please explain this:

Homosexuality in animals.

(salam)

These are animals. With all due respect, you just can't compare animal sexuality to human sexuality. Allah (swt) created the man with a penis and the woman with a vagina, funny enough they match. Animals have lesser brains than humans have and don't always know what's right or wrong (although sometimes a spider can be more faithful than a human!). Homosexuality is not a 'disease' or something we're born with naturally - it's a mental condition which is imposed, either by one self or by abuse.

Wassalam.

Edited by DonQ

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Could those who feel that homosexuality is unnatural please explain this:

Homosexuality in animals.

What is natural for animals is not necessarily natural for humans. Cannibalism is pretty widespread amongst the animal kingdom, with some animals not only eating their own species, but even their own infants - something which I'm sure most sane people would agree is very unnatural for humans. We should not find something acceptable just because some animals do it - for what would differentiate humans from animals? :squeez: I fear for any society which derives it's conclusions on morality based on animalistic standards :no:

wasalaam

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Salam

I was reluctant to post this when I came across it but just to emphasis what a grave sin it is to practice homosexuality in Islam:

Iraqi police 'killed 14-year-old boy for being homosexual'

"Another fatwa from the late and much revered Ayatollah Abul Qassim Khoei allows followers to kill gays "with a sword, or burn him alive, or tie his hands and feet and hurl him down from a high place".

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/middle...ticle362151.ece

He was just a kid. At this age sometimes teenagers are just confused about their sexuality because of the lack of sexual education in our society. He should have been educated not executed.

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Salaams to all.

I have been monitoring this topic for a while. Unfortunately, the issue as can be seen in the most recent posts, has taken a turn detrimental to society. Yes, shunning gay attitudes maybe be acceptable to a degree, but if we cannot help our young Muslim brothers to steer them to the correct path, then we have major issues amongst ourselves.

Br Mustafa, your feelings that you have/may have had, are legit only when not acted upon. What I mean is, to a certain extent, when a man (or woman) is confused about sexuality, there are certain avenues that can be taken in order to abstain from Haraam acts. There is the option of abstinence (which has been suggested here numerous times), that is if you feel inclined and your thoughts are 'manly'. In general, if gay men feel their tendencies is a result more towards the 'female' side, and strongly believe they are attracted to men because of these tendencies, then a gender change is an option, which is Islamically permitted.

Shocking to many? I know, it will be. But if we opened our minds and helped our young generation steering them towards halaal options instead of pounding on them, maybe, just maybe, we can be more tolerant. Naturally, I don't mean to accept the wrong ofcourse.

May Allah be with you Br Mustafa, and to all as well.

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Can the people in here realize that if Mustafa tries to feign "straightness" and gets married how unfair that is to the girl and what a distastrous marriage that would be?

Also, I agree that homosexuality is unacceptable for Muslims, but I do not partake in gay-bashing and am not in favor of criminalizing the issue.

Ahsant sister. I admire your tolerance. :)

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(salam)

These are animals. With all due respect, you just can't compare animal sexuality to human sexuality. Allah (swt) created the man with a penis and the woman with a vagina, funny enough they match. Animals have lesser brains than humans have and don't always know what's right or wrong (although sometimes a spider can be more faithful than a human!). Homosexuality is not a 'disease' or something we're born with naturally - it's a mental condition which is imposed, either by one self or by abuse.

Wassalam.

I'm sorry, but in a way I beg to differ. Notice I said "in a way". In some cases it is an imposition in others it is a form that allows men to change their gender. We cannot generalize that it is what you say because then we have created a label.

Sure, during the time of Prophet Lut - it was clearly established in the Quran it was an imposition, if you read the verses carefully. Whereas in some cases, it is an issue with hormones. So it goes both ways.

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(salam)

I'm sorry, but in a way I beg to differ. Notice I said "in a way". In some cases it is an imposition in others it is a form that allows men to change their gender. We cannot generalize that it is what you say because then we have created a label.

Sure, during the time of Prophet Lut - it was clearly established in the Quran it was an imposition, if you read the verses carefully. Whereas in some cases, it is an issue with hormones. So it goes both ways.

Yes, I have recently found out that hormones and testosteron also play a role in this.

I remember - at the age of 10-11 maybe that I got erect by girls, but I also have some homosexual experiences from my childhood. So I'm just fighting to become erect by girls again instead of boys, like brother Mustafa. I don't think me and Mustafa could be more alike on this. We're both 14, struggling against this.

I've tried analyzing homosexuality as good as I can, and I think it's helped to a good extent.

Wassalam.

Edited by DonQ

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(salam)

Yes, I have recently found out that hormones and testosteron also play a role in this.

I remember - at the age of 10-11 maybe that I got erect by girls, but I also have some homosexual experiences from my childhood. So I'm just fighting to become erect by girls again instead of boys, like brother Mustafa. I don't think me and Mustafa could be more alike on this. We're both 14, struggling against this.

I've tried analyzing homosexuality as good as I can, and I think it's helped to a good extent.

Wassalam.

Salaams to you. I will insha Allah pray for you as well. I find it distressing that in a way we cannot help our community to the extent we should, We generalize way too much and shun things that shouldnt be shunned and accept things that shouldnt be accepted. Ironic huh?

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(salam)

Salaams to you. I will insha Allah pray for you as well. I find it distressing that in a way we cannot help our community to the extent we should, We generalize way too much and shun things that shouldnt be shunned and accept things that shouldnt be accepted. Ironic huh?

Thank you, I appreciate it.

It's indeed distressing. Like here, where I live (Denmark) - most Muslims my age are very ignorant and not even real Muslims. You're not going to believe when I tell you, that they keep fast on Ramadan, yet do not pray - they, because living in a largely disbelieving mixed with Christianity-kinda country think the Bible is harâm and do not know it's origins, they do not recognize Hadhrat 'Isa (as), they have girlfriends, listen to music, engage in alcohol and what not.

And I wonder why it's hard for me to get rid of homosexuality :S If only I lived in a place such as Qom.

Wassalam.

Edited by DonQ

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(salam)

Thank you, I appreciate it.

It's indeed distressing. Like here, where I live (Denmark) - most Muslims my age are very ignorant and not even real Muslims. You're not going to believe when I tell you, that they keep fast on Ramadan, yet do not pray - they, because living in a largely disbelieving mixed with Christianity-kinda country think the Bible is harâm and do not know it's origins, they do not recognize Hadhrat 'Isa (as), they have girlfriends, listen to music, engage in alcohol and what not.

And I wonder why it's hard for me to get rid of homosexuality :S If only I lived in a place such as Qom.

Wassalam.

Masha Allah brother. Migrating is wajib if you feel your religion (or you) is/are being targeted in ways you mention. If you can keep the faith strong, you're fine, but if you feel like you will quaver, there is no harm in migrating, with or without family. I understand you are young and it may be difficult. Keep the imaan strong Brother.

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(salam)

To the bro who needs the help.. bro I strongly believe that you were NOT born gay. You claim to be a Muslim who believes in the message correct? God clearly forbids homosexual behavior in the Quran right? Now answer this question: Will God create someone gay but yet ban it in the Quran? The answer is clear I think.

It is something that takes root due to someone's environment or previous situations. I firmly believe you must supress these feelings, and realise that the feelings you have for women are "natural"-(created by God) and the others are not "natural" and should be understood as such. At 14, you are young, and these feelings can easily be understood as not being created by God and with self-control should and can be corrected.

w/salam my friend.

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(salam)

To the bro who needs the help.. bro I strongly believe that you were NOT born gay. You claim to be a Muslim who believes in the message correct? God clearly forbids homosexual behavior in the Quran right? Now answer this question: Will God create someone gay but yet ban it in the Quran? The answer is clear I think.

You are taking a big leap with your statement there; one I believe is incorrect. You are looking at the issue incorrectly. That is like saying, "Will God create pigs/alcohol but yet ban it in the Quran?" These are tangible items that you can easily see so I won't go into proving that they exist (like homosexuality). These are temptations that have been put forth and it is up to us to stay away from them. To stay away from pigs/alcohol is a test from Allah. His homosexuality is a test from Allah; he will pass the test if he does not act on his feelings, even if that means he never has a spouse or children. To quote you: "The answer is clear I think."

Edited by chicken

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Salam

I was reluctant to post this when I came across it but just to emphasis what a grave sin it is to practice homosexuality in Islam:

Iraqi police 'killed 14-year-old boy for being homosexual'

"Another fatwa from the late and much revered Ayatollah Abul Qassim Khoei allows followers to kill gays "with a sword, or burn him alive, or tie his hands and feet and hurl him down from a high place".

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/middle...ticle362151.ece

OMG that is scarry. :Hijabi: newayz im 15 now. and ive been praying my namaz on time and i havent been missing a single one however i have been performing ghusl-e-janabat also if you know what i mean... Any way brothers i ask advice on two matters.

1) during namaz i get inapropriate thoughts which i need to clear. Any tips?

2) About this jihad-al-akbar. Still too hard, any tips? thanks

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1) during namaz i get inapropriate thoughts which i need to clear. Any tips?

2) About this jihad-al-akbar. Still too hard, any tips? thanks

(salam) brother.

One of the most important things we should do as Muslims (but most people do not really pay attention to!) is how to pray right. By praying right, I mean praying with sincerity, concentration and presence of the heart. http://www.al-islam.org/soarbeloved/ is good for a start on this quest, when you pray right and God accepts your prayer, you're actions will be formed from that.

Hang in there brother! You will be tested with your patience. The fulfillment of your prayers lies in your sincerity and effort.

I have some things which I want to recommend to you.

This du3a' when going to bed will keep you safe from omission of semen:

(bismillah)

Allâhumma a3oudhu bika min al-e7tilâmi wa min sou'il e7lâmi. Wa min an yatalâ' abâ biyal-shaytânil rajîm.

And when going to bed and waking up, recite the following:

- A3oudhu billâhi min al-shaytânil rajîm wa a3oudhu billâhi min al-shudhoudh al-jinsi.

- Sourat al-Falaq, Sourat al-Nâs, Sourat al-Kâfiroun, Sourat al-Taw7îd

- Sourat al-Ra7mân

Hang in there, I PROMISE you that if you are sincere in your wish and that if you persevere, you will win a divine victory in the greatest form of jihâd.

Wassalâm.

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Hello Brothers and Sisters.

Here's the issue:

I am a young muslim boy, a good boy :angel: but not THAT religious (i pray occasionally and dont make sins) with a religious family that abides by the rules and are fairly strict.

I have one problem that i feel that i may go to hell for having, you see... I am gay!... I know it is against Islam but i cant help it. What can i do? i allways fear of hell, I want it gone, i cant tell my family or they may kick me out of the house and never speak to me (and i love my family very much), i havent told ANYONE before and i really need some help!

What can i do? Can i get rid of it and become straight? Will i go to hell for something that i cannot help? :shaytan: Is it really against Islam and if so why? Am i alone? Am i even gay!?!?!? :unsure:

dont worry its going 2 b ok once u divert ur attentions 2wards religious activities n pray harder...being gay is only a mood u get into its not a fault within ur system...so pray harder...

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salam

I know this gay guy.. and on the outside he has the male organisims of a guy but in the inside he has ovaries(female organisims) nad other wonen organisms.(inside him......and he didnt know this till he got older)...... so i was jsut wondering maybe brother u are going through this, and i heard religous wise that u are allowed to pik which sex u want to be attracted to(in the situation i stated above) but this is just soemthing i friend told me , but im not sure, bro do u reasearch.

ill try to do some too.

maybe u should tell ur older sibling or a family memeber u trust.

and end any sexual relations u are having, weather ur cousin, or anybody...

remember

JIHAD AL AKBAAR

pce

Edited by Innerwisdom

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