Married Men And Mutah?

[this_muslimah]

I understand mutah is a hot topic and it can be a very touchy topic and a tired topic sometimes but I am very new to shia thought and am still learning and to be quite honest i cant wrap my mind around mutah. The issue came up of my hubby doing mutah while he is out of town for a week on a bit of a vacation with his friends. He has told me numerous times he thinks that would be a hurtful misuse of something to be taken seriously since IF HE WERE TO DO IT it would hurt my feelings since he would be off with another woman having a great time while i sat here at home with my kids and pregnant wating on him. I appreciate him so much acknowledgng my feeling and not wanting to hurt me. I have so much respect for that. But my question is, does stuff like this happen often? Like a husband using mutah just for a good time outside of his marriage? Are there any set rules for mutah or is it ok when ever for what ever reason? I hope i am not being offensive but I really would like to have a better understanding of what it is all about. Thank you in advance.

[How strange]

(salam)

Mutah is allowed in Islam even if it is exclusively for sexual pleasure. But there can be numerous other reasons for it as well. Several Islamic rules have to be followed when considering mutah, such as the iddah (waiting period) for women after the mutah is over. There is no legal prohibition for married men to engage in mutah just for having a good time, however, I believe there are some traditions from the Imams(as) stating that married men should avoid doing mutah soley for this reason.

[~RuQaYaH~]

(salam)

It's not just mutah, the man has the right to marry 3 other women permanently too. I think this is where the importance of spouse selection comes in. Only marry a man whose judgement you trust enough to know that he will exercise these rights only if there's a good reason for it, not just coz he was bored and his blonde secretary happened to be there. Yes that's still his right, but I think a man who confines himself to taking into account only what is technically halal and haram and ignores things like his wife's feelings, hygiene/std's, potential pregnancy, impact on the relationship and children etc is not the kind of man who should be trusted to bring u closer to Allah (swt), lead your life, be the father of your children and whose pleasure is your jihad in life. But in some cases, even a husband like that is better than no husband at all, so to each her own.

wasalaam

[this_muslimah]

Iknow about the three other wives. and in my opinion if a man can treat 2 or more wives fairly and proper then more power to him. But one guy told me that even if my hubby were to do the short "good time" mutah then it would be good because mutah is great and pius. and if that is the case then wouldnt i be rotten for feelng so bad about the situation?

[~RuQaYaH~]

I have heard people say mutah is mustahab and I think I saw some hadiths on it (the authenticity of which I didn't check) but then I also hear/see things to the opposite effect, so I don't know whether it's mustahab or not. I really doubt it would be mustahab for married men to do mutah simply for pleasure (when he can get that from his wife) - it just seems to defy common sense. But for arguments sake, even if were mustahab for married men, then it would be wrong to feel bad about him having done mutah only if his primary intention in doing the mutah was to please God. If, however, his intention in doing the mutah was simply for the fulfillment of his own pleasure and the pleasure of God was something which he didn't even take into account, or was just a ''bonus'' on the side, then there's nothing rotten about feeling bad about the situation - in such a case, I think the reason which merits feeling bad is more about the fact that you chose the wrong kind of person to spend your life with than about the fact that he did the mutah in those circumstances.

wasalaam

Edited April 3, 2007 by ~RuQaYaH~

[Rawshni]

JUST CURIOUS

Iddhah applies ONLY to muslimahs. What happens if a man contracts Mut'ah with a Kitabiah for half a day, takes his pleasure and leaves. And the said Kitabiah is immdiately offered a Mut'ah by another and accepts, for the same duration.

This gentleman also leaves as his time with her expires.

A week later this Kitabiah finds herself pregnant . . .

Edited April 3, 2007 by Rawshni

[How strange]

A non-muslim woman entering mutah has to follow iddah rules, just like a muslim woman.

[Zuljenah]

Apparently men do think about it :dry: There was a thread in the brothers forum started by "Shia by Nature" about this exact topic, where a hypothetical question was posed. I wonder if the thread is still there or if it was deleted, hmm.

[Rawshni]

A non-muslim woman entering mutah has to follow iddah rules, just like a muslim woman.

There's no way you can make her

[Rawshni]

Apparently men do think about it :dry: There was a thread in the brothers forum started by "Shia by Nature" about this exact topic, where a hypothetical question was posed. I wonder if the thread is still there or if it was deleted, hmm.

Or it could have even disapperaed like some others due to the many gitches and security issues of the past 7, 8 months

Edited April 3, 2007 by Rawshni

[Al Motasa2il]

But one guy told me that even if my hubby were to do the short "good time" mutah then it would be good because mutah is great and pius.

:wacko: Ugh that's so gross. It's amazing the lengths some people will go to just to emphasize their difference from the "other" sect. I don't believe in Islam, but as a word of advice, if you're ever trying to convert someone to your religion, don't tell them this story.

[Member1]

(salam)

It's not just mutah, the man has the right to marry 3 other women permanently too. I think this is where the importance of spouse selection comes in. Only marry a man whose judgement you trust enough to know that he will exercise these rights only if there's a good reason for it, not just coz he was bored and his blonde secretary happened to be there. Yes that's still his right, but I think a man who confines himself to taking into account only what is technically halal and haram and ignores things like his wife's feelings, hygiene/std's, potential pregnancy, impact on the relationship and children etc is not the kind of man who should be trusted to bring u closer to Allah (swt), lead your life, be the father of your children and whose pleasure is your jihad in life. But in some cases, even a husband like that is better than no husband at all, so to each her own.

wasalaam

i think its better to have no husband in any case :!!!:

[How strange]

If the non-muslim woman does not agree to follow the iddah rule, then it would invalidate the mutah in the first place. The man has to be sure she follows iddah, otherwise he is not allowed to do mutah with her. If the woman promises to follow the rule but when the mutah time period expires, she refuses to keep her promise, then there is no blame on the man. This is what I know.

[Rawshni]

There is also no way you can make a Muslima observe iddah.

Honestly, a sincere and pious Christian woman is absolutely not going to agree to mutah, unless she has aspirations for the convent - in Christianity a person can marry ONLY ONCE in their lives, unless they are widowed. A chaste Christian CAN NOT agree to a temporary marriage, and only chaste women are for only chaste men, and only sleazy women are for only sleazy men. So sister, if your husband is chaste, don't worry about Christian woman and mutah.

I don't know if mutah would be allowed for a Jewish woman.

Jewesses are Kitabiahs.

AS for the rest, Fraulein Engineer, you hit the nail right on the head.

If the non-muslim woman does not agree to follow the iddah rule, then it would invalidate the mutah in the first place. The man has to be sure she follows iddah, otherwise he is not allowed to do mutah with her. If the woman promises to follow the rule but when the mutah time period expires, she refuses to keep her promise, then there is no blame on the man. This is what I know.

We are not trying to apportoin blame. Islam does not recognise DNA tests, so far to my my knowledge at least. [i am open to correction]. What happens with the paternity issue?

[this_muslimah]

I want to stress that my husband is quite against the idea of doing mutah as a married man. Just in case anyone misunderstood my first post.

[Rawshni]

^

The issue has ballooned to something much bigger now.

[Maula Dha Mallang]

can someone please explain the difference between "good time" muta for a married man and "pleasing god" muta?

if a guy wants to do muta its not to hold hands is it? can anyone give me some scenario in modern times where it would be acceptable for a married man to do muta just for the sake of making love while peasing god?

personally, i think its cheating on ur wife.

[Rawshni]

^

mut'ah basically is for regulating sex.

I agree with your cheating thought though

[Maula Dha Mallang]

i think muta is meant to be a way to LEAD to nikkah...nothing else. i.e. to make a non marham into a marham while you get to know her better.

- this avoids sin and zina etc

- its better than dating/ fornication

- its halal and above board

thats my personal opinion anyway. i think doin muta with random women after ur married is WAY THE F**K wrong and im sure the quran says dont have more than 1 wife unless you treat them all exactly the same, and spending a dirty weekend with a woman while ur loving wife who married you and gave birth to ur kids sits at home is not exactly treatin ur real wife honestly and is seriously sick.

hmm...can u tell i get wound up on this topic? lol

[this_muslimah]

i get kind of workd up about it too. I can see where it would be a good thing. i pray i never have to do mutah because i want to be with my husband for ever! I can see how such a thing would be abused and misused badly. sure its halal but our actions are judged by our intentions arent they? and selfish behavior is bad right? cuz doing that to your "life wife" seems pretty selfish.

[Rawshni]

i think muta is meant to be a way to LEAD to nikkah...nothing else. i.e. to make a non marham into a marham while you get to know her better.

- this avoids sin and zina etc

- its better than dating/ fornication

- its halal and above board

thats my personal opinion anyway. i think doin muta with random women after ur married is WAY THE F**K wrong and im sure the quran says dont have more than 1 wife unless you treat them all exactly the same, and spending a dirty weekend with a woman while ur loving wife who married you and gave birth to ur kids sits at home is not exactly treatin ur real wife honestly and is seriously sick.

hmm...can u tell i get wound up on this topic? lol

You've got it quite figured out, though many will not agree with you. Many would try to use Mut'ah as a licence for lust

[Maula Dha Mallang]

[Forbidden to you] are married woman, except what your right hand possesses. This Allah has written for you, and all other women besides these are permitted to you, so that you may seek them out with your wealth, seeking chastity and not fornication. So when you have contracted temporary marriage [istimt'atum] with them, then give them their words. There is no sin on you for whatever you agree to after this. Indeed, Allah is Knowing, Wise.

Al-Qur'an, Surah An-Nisa, Ayah 24

id like 2 see sum lusty men explain that :dry:

[Rawshni]

^mutah is not fornication, but if the man is chaste, the woman must also be chaste. i can't imagine that a chaste woman would very easily enter into a mutah marriage with a married man without good reason.

You raise another interesting question; if a man would be chaste, wouldn't he curb his desire

[chotibaaji]

You raise another interesting question; if a man would be chaste, wouldn't he curb his desire

^or go to his wife.

Exactly.

Muta'ah is ordained to provide relief in certain specific situations. It has become to be treated as a loophole to bypass the divine ordain of taqva, which essentially means foregoing one's own desire's to fuflfil that which Allah asks from one.

[Rawshni]

Exactly.

Muta'ah is ordained to provide relief in certain specific situations. It has become to be treated as a loophole to bypass the divine ordain of taqva, which essentially means foregoing one's own desire's to fuflfil that which Allah asks from one.

What a beautiful thought. Blessed be.

[umm ali]

(salam)

According to Ayatullah Seestani:

Question: A Muslim couple got separated for a long time. Is it permissible for him to marry, temporarily or permanently, a woman from Ahlul Kitab(women of the books--Jewish and christian) without the knowledge of his Muslim wife? Is it permissible for him to marry, with the permission of his Muslim wife?

Answer: For a Muslim man to marry a woman from Ahlul Kitab permanently is against the compulsory precaution in any circumstance.

And his temporary marriage to a Jewish or a Christian woman is allowed, only if he is not already married to a Muslim wife. If he has a Muslim wife, temporary marriage with an Ahlul Kitab woman is not permissible without her consent; nay, even with her consent, it is not permissible, based on compulsory precaution.

Just don't give him permission and you won't have to deal with it.

Edited April 5, 2007 by umm ali

[this_muslimah]

oh it would be a muslim sister if he were to do it. one guy went and scouted for girls and evn gave my husbands ell number out and he did all of that without my husbands permission. one thing i noticed was that they were all very young converts. but thats not the point.

Muta'ah is ordained to provide relief in certain specific situations. It has become to be treated as a loophole to bypass the divine ordain of taqva, which essentially means foregoing one's own desire's to fuflfil that which Allah asks from one.

that is perfect!

[Rawshni]

(salam)

According to Ayatullah Seestani:

Question: A Muslim couple got separated for a long time. Is it permissible for him to marry, temporarily or permanently, a woman from Ahlul Kitab(women of the books--Jewish and christian) without the knowledge of his Muslim wife? Is it permissible for him to marry, with the permission of his Muslim wife?

Answer: For a Muslim man to marry a woman from Ahlul Kitab permanently is against the compulsory precaution in any circumstance.

And his temporary marriage to a Jewish or a Christian woman is allowed, only if he is not already married to a Muslim wife. If he has a Muslim wife, temporary marriage with an Ahlul Kitab woman is not permissible without her consent; nay, even with her consent, it is not permissible, based on compulsory precaution.

Just don't give him permission and you won't have to deal with it.

Good find . . . at least the Seestani muqallids will now have some food for thought

[Guest Autumn]

Hi,

Interesting read! So from what I gathered, is it true, a permanent marriage is completely not allowed to a woman from Ahlul Kitab.

I am currently in a temporary marriage to someone who has been divorced for over 2 years now. Trying to get a better understanding of what I have agreed to?

[Haji 2003]

Is this relevant:

 

[Guest Autumn]

@Haji 2003

Quite Relevant! Thank you 

[sonos]

Salam,

Is it permissible for a married man to have a mutah marriage with other women for sexual pleasure, while married to his permanent wife? 
 

Is this allowed in islam? And what are the circumstances in which it is allowed or reasons it is not allowed? 

[Ashvazdanghe]

Can a married man do mutah with female friends even if he neglects his permanent wife and disregards her by spending time with them without his wife or her knowledge?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from...
Answer updated 4 years ago
Bismihi ta'ala

Marriage is based on sacred commitment, love, respect, honour and tolerance. Each of these features is a fundamental pillar of marriage. Anything that disturbs the internal cohesion of a spousal relationship must be avoided. 

This married man is doing wrong by neglecting his wife, and this could lead to oppression. Should he have issues with his wife, they need to be addressed through communication, or through counceling. 

If it is purely him pursuing his lust, then this will destroy the harmony of his home, and hence it will get him nowhere. 

This clip speaks about how to deal with a promiscuous husband:

https://www.al-islam.org/ask/can-a-married-man-do-mutah-with-female-friends-even-if-he-neglects-his-permanent-wife-and-disregards-her-by-spending-time-with-them-without-his-wife-or-her-knowledge

 

Rules of Mut’ah (temporary marriage) in Islam

http://askislam.ir/en/rules-of-mutah-temporary-marriage-in-islam/

 

 

 

[Ashvazdanghe]

6 hours ago, sonos said:

Salam,

Is it permissible for a married man to have a mutah marriage with other women for sexual pleasure, while married to his permanent wife? 
 

Is this allowed in islam? And what are the circumstances in which it is allowed or reasons it is not allowed? 

 

According to Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi

Quote

Provision for temporary marriage for a married man. Is temporary marriage permissible for a man who has a permanent wife?

There is nothing wrong with a temporary marriage and the permission of the first wife is not necessary, but do it only if necessary.

https://makarem.ir/ahkam/fa/home/istifta/263166/حکم-ازدواج-موقّت-برای-مرد-متأهل

According Imam Khamenei

The permission to have a second wife or more for men up to four wives in the principle of Sharia and according to the ruling of the first one, in case of ensuring justice between the spouses and the ability to provide equal alimony between them, is one of the necessities of religion and there is no opposing opinion among the jurists and the opinion of the authority The same is true of the venerable Grand Ayatollah Khamenei. Of course, the ruling on polygamy is for different people according to different circumstances, like the principle of marriage itself; Sometimes it becomes obligatory or recommended or forbidden or abominable

 

People working inoffice of  leader will be fired if they get a second wife

Quote

It was last year that a fatwa attributed to the leader was published on the channels, which claimed that Ayatollah Khamenei considers polygamy to be recommended in the current conditions of society.

However, according to what has been published in the media, some time ago, in a gathering attended by the leader, one of the audience asked him about the authenticity of this fatwa. Ayatollah Khamenei was enraged after hearing this and was surprised and said that I do not have such a fatwa at all and I do not accept such a thing at all. Who said this? Men should not even jokingly talk about polygamy, which discourages women.

Interestingly, the leader of the revolution implemented this opinion in his workplace and warned that the people working in the leader's office will be fired if they take a second wife.

https://jadvalyab.ir/blog/religion/نظر-آیت-الله-خامنه-ای-درباره-اختیار-کرد/

 

Why do the Shia consider temporary marriage (sighah/mut’ah) permissible?

https://www.islamquest.net/en/archive/fa915