Academic interest and qualification

[BuZari]

Salaam,

A part from criteria like faith, family background, morals, and other necessary ones, how much do you think academic interest (like major) and level of education matter to make a compatible and successful couple (and family)?

I personally think that I will be more comfortable with someone who is in the same or similar major I am in. Also she should have atleast a bachelors degree in it (or working towards it). Because, I see mutual understanding and cooperation a direct function of these two things, for myself.

What do you all think?

BuZari

[Karbalaei]

it doesn't matter much for me, she doesn't necessarily have to hold a college degree to be a great person, it's wat's in the heart and brain, maybe wat i call being smart about life!

[BuZari]

thanks karbalaei for the response.

BuZari

[Gypsy]

I think they should be compatible in the level of education ..Interest wise is not so important. Usually when you compare people who has some similar nature of Education College or University education..They have some same level of thinking and understand more about certain issue like time management...meeting the dateline...reasoning for certain decisions, self management, priorities & others.

[Guest Pearlsinvinegar]

I think they should be compatible in the level of education ..Interest wise is not so important. Usually when you compare people who has some similar nature of Education College or University education..They have some same level of thinking and understand more about certain issue like time management...meeting the dateline...reasoning for certain decisions, self management, priorities & others.

[Guest ShhItsSecret]

What is a peice of paper? It's not going to get you to Jannah. Maybe you can make lots of money with it but you can live without it...

My opinion Knowledge is an asset and you don't have to have a peice of paper saying so.

If someone thought for a minute just because I haven't finished highschool or am young that I don't know certain things that would be really offensive. I mean in reality I know nothing because we are just alot of ignorant people in the long one about the deen and life etc. (Allahu Alim ) but the the knowledge that I do have I don't need anything to prove that. I don't need to say I have done this or that... that's arragont.

Now then, I am not marrying a chemical engineer or doctor or anything like that. I turned down offers from doctors or those studying to be so, and other "smart" people for one who doesn't have a peice of paper saying he is this or that. He is knowledgeable on life and knows himself and doesn't lie to himself.

Anyway, each person weighs things different and has his own value for things. If you feel that you wouldn't be happy with a wife without a degree, maybe you should check your values and make sure they are weighed more with Islam and not western ideals.... and "dunyaistic" (lol my new word...) ideals. It has important to have someone on your level so you won't feel like a mother or father but a peice of paper doesn't mean anything.

Sis Secret

[Gypsy]

Degree, masters and PHD are not just a piece of paper. It represent knowledge, dedication, hard work, certification of your endeavor in some field, a formal recognition of your knowledge, skills and capabilities and in some case it is a ticket for you to practice your skills eg doctor or..etc. This piece of paper is much much more but I'm lacking time to elaborate.

And I don’t agree when someone says a piece of paper will not get you in Jannah. How do you know it wont?

Knowledge is the most important thing in the world. Our Holy Prophet said "Search knowledge from cradle to grave"

We need knowledgeable people in our commutes like Islamic Scholars, engineers, doctors and Scientist. When you become sick..you need doctors. I don’t think we should look down at any field of study and term something as Dunyaist or Akhiraist. Even if you aim for Akhira..You still need to work hard in this world to contribute something to the society. Society is supported by all groups of people.

[Guest Pearlsinvinegar]

Salam,

Compatibility of education is soemthing that CAN be important. Something as "dunyaistic" as a great difference in social class can have deleterious effects on a marriage. I dont see why great differences in education cant.

When a person, say has devoted years of their life to studying or academic work, they need to really live with someone who can appreciate that part of their life. More often than not, it cannot be appreciated by someone who has no concept of what its all about. One doesnt necessarily need to go to a univeristy to get an education, or intelligence. So intelligent conversation may not be ruled out, then again it might very well have to be. Because the two people think in two different spheres almost. So one of the spouses is forced to leave one very large part of their life out of their marriage life. It can (not will) drive people apart. heck many things can drive people apart.

Deen and akhlaq are the most important things to consider. But to be honest no one (but our imam, alayhe salam) is perfect.  So often other factors play a larger role than they really should, and its only practical to keep them in mind when making a decision.

I remember one girl saying (who was incidently recently married and perhaps making the comment out of spite): Oh those academics, they just get married really late, and dont have kids, theyre social outcasts. They set money and prestige over family and finding a wife.

Now this line of thinking would be offensive to the academic, yet a reasonable outsiders conclusion by someone who hadnt pursued a tertiary education and therefore doesnt really know what it means to a person who has actually gone through it or is still pursuing it.

Compatibility of education is definately not a hard rule, but its not insignificant either.

[BuZari]

Thankyou all. Your feed back has helped me removing the ambiguity I had in my question and opinion.

I think my opinion about academic compatibility doesn't apply to all the majors. People in engineering, computers (and I used to be in it too), and business usually deal with what they have studied in their academic and job settings only. For example, not many people discuss Columb's law, parity transference, or market place in their normal daily lives. Most they would expect from their spouse is to "appreciate that part of their life". These people usually have dichotomy for their profession and their "real" life.

Things in social sciences and humanities like political science, sociology, and religion are different. People in these majors are directly dealing with life and society. These people usually don't look at life and world like other people do. This affect their attitudes, behavior, and talk. These people find difficulty in making a dichotomy in between their profession and their real life. Therefore, these people will not only expect their spouses to "appreciate that part of their life" but, add to that, to share it. So, as my previous assertion was, a spouse with similar interest in social sciences and humanities should be more compatible with this person.

BuZari