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In the Name of God بسم الله

Why can't you get married?

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Abdul Hussain

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Posted on Mar 17 2004, 10:35 PM

  Salaam,

My reason was "other" and since it asked to state, I'ma state it...

I'm Arab (Lebanese) but have been living in Canada for 15 years (I'm 21 now)........the guy I want to marry is a Shia, alhamdullilah...he was born a Sunni, but converted to Shi'ism when he went to a majlis during muharram, alhamdullilah...

he's a black American...mother's panamese and his father's jamaican.......

lol....blah

Salaam,

So whats the reason??????? :blink: :huh:

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(bismillah)

(salam)

being married is indeed a blessing from Allah,y a ukhwaat; having with somebody spiritual and pyhisical bonds fee sabeel Allah, love and compassion for the sake of Allah is ni'mah and baraka from Allah Taala.

For such a small things, like bringing a water to husband or make him smile, we can get so many hasanahs, alhamdulillah. May Allah give to all the non-maried sisters pious spouses and bless the marriage of the married ones. Ameen.

And among His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves so that you may live in tranquility with them; And He has created love and mercy between you.”

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Guest Shireen
May Allah give to all the non-maried sisters pious spouses and bless the marriage of the married ones. Ameen.

Ameen sister,

You know that's one the things which make me start worrying :(

Parents indeed always try to find the best spouse for you...but then when I think that I'm born here in a western country, although I know my religion and values etc. it can be difficult if the guy is (in my case it would be Pakistan) from another part of the world...or who knows, may be somewhere else in the world :rolleyes:

But anyhow..I know some sisters and Shukran to Allah they are well settled but however I know that they experienced problems.

A sister who is a very dear friend she got married 3 years ago and then her 'Rukhsati' (cultural practice) was delayed and after some family conflict etc. the 'Rukhsati' took place. She is now in the U.K. but a very big problem is that she was in the last 3 or 4 semesters of her studies which she did obviously in german. Now being in the U.K. she couldn't continue her studies and she doesn't even know if she'll be able to do that. That's one problem but however there are many others and whenever I think of marriage dunno it makes me feel cry :cry: ..although I know that it's a blessing of Allah.

Can anyone of you sisters encourage me in anyway? Because I know that my parents wish to start looking slowly for a guy, may be next time they go to Pak..so that I would get married in some years... and I totally understand their worries since there is a certain age of getting married....

Or Am I over-reacting? I guess I think/worry too much..

Edited by Shireen
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(bismillah)

(salam)

I dont think, you are overreacting, sister, marriage is such a huge thing, we cannot over react it:) Alhamdulillah, that you think about it and see the good and bad examples so that you can choose the best.

As for studying, alhamdulillah we can put every single thing as a shart into the marriage contract so as continue of the education inshallah.

I hope, that you can find true love with a pious, muslim man who will help you and whom you will help in the deen and developping in taqwa and ikhlaas. Really, this is the best thing in marriage and it brings the couple together, mashallah.

:angel:

fi aman Allah

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it means ....ur paths somehow crossing with a man who takes to ur fancy and meets ur ideals!

be it arranged ie through family or non arranged ie through friends etc

thanks for ur reply. comparing this to the brothers poll really shows us that one gender has it much harder because they usually need money and the other gender dont need to worry about wealth so much so instead they focus more on the person they want. i asked that question because the option on the poll implies that women in islamic comunities also do "finding". and that is something i didnt expect. i dont know about these things - maye becasue in my family the word marriage is a like a swear word. i am not joking we got sooo many adults who dont want to marry! i really would offend some people if i even raised the subject.

why?

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hmmm let me think

maybe cuz all the guys around here walk like their gay

wear tight shirts like ricky martin

color their hair or highlight it

too much cologne

and they wouldnt want to marry a good girl till they "have their fun first"

thats why their all doing it the halal way through "muta"

then theres the other guys

they look like baboons

they cant comb their hair

they sleep till 4 in the afternoon

they dont use toothpaste

watch japanese animations all day

play video games

their mom picks out their clothes

thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

the best ones

they grow long beards

they wear leather socks ahahahahaha

dont use toothbrushes

he wants a pet shia

:shaytan: :shaytan: :shaytan: :shaytan: :shaytan: :shaytan:

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hmmm let me think

maybe cuz all the guys around here walk like their gay

wear tight shirts like ricky martin

color their hair or highlight it

too much cologne

and they wouldnt want to marry a good girl till they "have their fun first"

thats why their all doing it the halal way through "muta"

then theres the other guys

they look like baboons

they cant comb their hair

they sleep till 4 in the afternoon

they dont use toothpaste

watch japanese animations all day

play video games

their mom picks out their clothes

thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

the best ones

they grow long beards

they wear leather socks ahahahahaha

dont use toothbrushes

he wants a pet shia

:shaytan: :shaytan: :shaytan: :shaytan: :shaytan: :shaytan:

hahahahhhahah

u forgot the geeks/nerds

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  • 4 weeks later...
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(salam)

In my case, its because of parents. You see, i have this suitor and i like him very much that he planned to marry me but when he told his parents that he wants to marry me his parents answered "we prefer another girl for you" Im left devastated and i dont know if i would still hang on because he told me to wait for him and he will convince his parents. Im so scared of the emotions that i invested in this waiting period and day after day it hurts more.

My suitor is mama's boy! What should i do? PLease advise.

Sis Sheheraz

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(salam)

In my case, its because of parents. You see, i have this suitor and i like him very much that he planned to marry me but when he told his parents that he wants to marry me his parents answered "we prefer another girl for you" Im left devastated and i dont know if i would still hang on because he told me to wait for him and he will convince his parents. Im so scared of the emotions that i invested in this waiting period and day after day it hurts more.

My suitor is mama's boy! What should i do? PLease advise.

Sis Sheheraz

READ ZIARAT ASHURA FOR 40 DAYS

OR DUA KUMAIL DAILY...AND DO AN INTENTION FOR THIS VERY PROBLEM...INSHALLAH Allah WILL DELIVER

P.S WHO WANTS A MUMMYS BOY ANYWAY?!?!!?

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P.S WHO WANTS A MUMMYS BOY ANYWAY?!?!!?

I do.A man who respects his mother will respect me too.

yeh thats wat ur sayin now....come bak n tell me the same, wen u ACTUALLY GET MARRIED TO A MUMMYS BOY......and he GIVES HER PREFERENCE OVER EVERYTHING! <_<

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Guest fathima batool

^_^ (salam) ^_^

emm interesting topic..

Well for me I guess i'm toooo young for marriage and don't want to marry now...

;) sis whiz I appreciate your reply...even I wouldn't mind a mummy's boy,you know why?

Because this shows that he has learnt that paradise lies under the feet of mother...and when he learns this then he will definately respect his wife..

By the way...I believe priority must go for mothers...They deserve attention..therefore I don't mind if my future husband is a MUMMY"S BOY!

^_^ hope it's clear...

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yeh thats wat ur sayin now....come bak n tell me the same, wen u ACTUALLY GET MARRIED TO A MUMMYS BOY......and he GIVES HER PREFERENCE OVER EVERYTHING! <_<

(salam)

A mother has her rights and a wife has her rights.A man should give both of them their rights.

emm interesting topic..

Well for me I guess i'm toooo young for marriage and don't want to marry now...

sis whiz I appreciate your reply...even I wouldn't mind a mummy's boy,you know why?

Because this shows that he has learnt that paradise lies under the feet of mother...and when he learns this then he will definately respect his wife..

By the way...I believe priority must go for mothers...They deserve attention..therefore I don't mind if my future husband is a MUMMY"S BOY!

hope it's clear...

Great minds think alike........ :D

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Guest fathima batool

(salam)

sister whizbee....people who have great minds are found in very less quantity...where as normal people are found in abundance...(j/j) :D :D :D

w/s

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  • 1 month later...
Guest newshia

'i don't think there's anything rong with thinkin that there is someone out there for you..isn't there an ayaat in Quran saying there is match for you or something like that??? (please take that lightly cos i don't know if that is me talking nonesense or if thats true!!...sorry if i am rong, i don't mean to be rude or nefin!)

Why shud we go around thinkin that we are just goin to end up with a random guy instead of someone that we will be with till death and inshallah hereafter...a companion forever.

That's not livin in a clinton card definiton...that's what i would want.'

Not 2 'burst ne1s bubbles' but, women outnumber men on this planet and in almost EVERY NATION. Men constantly die due 2 wars n instability... So basically.. NOT EVERY WOMAN will have her 'chosen 1' or 'soulmate'. Lol, this is truth n reality. Sorry ladies... lol. Hopefully, u'll all get the best w/ Allah's mercy, but honestly... ur man will not b perfect, jus as u r not... b realistic. Even tho i dun discourage u from hoping...

Wasalaam

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yeh thats wat ur sayin now....come bak n tell me the same, wen u ACTUALLY GET MARRIED TO A MUMMYS BOY......and he GIVES HER PREFERENCE OVER EVERYTHING! <_<

(salam)

A mother has her rights and a wife has her rights.A man should give both of them their rights.

emm interesting topic..

Well for me I guess i'm toooo young for marriage and don't want to marry now...

sis whiz I appreciate your reply...even I wouldn't mind a mummy's boy,you know why?

Because this shows that he has learnt that paradise lies under the feet of mother...and when he learns this then he will definately respect his wife..

By the way...I believe priority must go for mothers...They deserve attention..therefore I don't mind if my future husband is a MUMMY"S BOY!

hope it's clear...

Great minds think alike........ :D

welll.....sorry to break it to u girls

but i know many many men who are 'mummys boys' and treat their wives like sh**

i have heard that islamically a man shud give priority to his wife and children

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(salam)

Thats so true Fitshia, I have seen many men (or shall I say boys) who do everything that their mother tells them to do. Its like they dont have their own brains and need to always rely on them even if they become quite old in age.

I guess its natural for boys to feel much closer to their mothers, because girls tend to feel quite close to their fathers, so its a two way thing.

Wasalaam

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  • 3 months later...
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bis.gif

Inshallah on the Auspicious event of the birth of the Imam of our time, I ask Allah ALMIGHTY to find all the singles on this discussion board, a good partner, one who treats them well and may they live a prosperous life and gain a joyous hereafter, in the name of the Master of our time, al Hujjah ibn al Hasan al Mahdi (May the world be at ransom to the dust on his feet)

Wassalaam

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