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In the Name of God بسم الله
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As we know there are different types of stresses. Some stress may be healthy as it kicks in to protect us in times of need and and gives us a sense of focus when we're about to take a test or deliver a presentation. It gives us that motivation we need to rise to the occassion and in times of emergency can actually save our lives. Moreoever, there is also a type of stress that is harmful, it can cause mental, emotional and even physical pain, It can cause our body to overreact in certain situations which undoubtedly causes a range of psychological issues such a depression, anxiety and even physical problems such as IBS or weight fluctuation. My question is, how do you de-stress and how do you identify your stress triggers? We all have times when our mind/body tells us its all getting overwhelming, so what do you do to cope in those situations? I'll start.... so I make sure that i take time off work every now and especially if I have a lot happening (work, studies, family). I also love getting pampered (massages, facials etc) as I feel they help me to relax and I also exercise and meditate. Of course I find praying and listening to Quran really soothing as well. There are other things but I won't make the list too long, would like to hear from you guys!
Bismillah il rahman il raheem Salaam brothers and sisters, honestly I feel like today wasn't a bad day however it was my own attitude towards it which made it seem bad, well that and how I prayed a little bit late. So, recently a lot of my life has been encircled around negativity and grumbling about having too much stress and too much work. This has piled up on me emotionally and spiritually, depending on how you define spiritually of course. The weird thing here is that last semester I had much more work and more to worry about, but it didn't feel like it and I enjoyed life and constantly prayed on time. This negativity from me has been spreading to those around me, I guess I'm emanating a pessimistic vibe which people obviously have a distaste towards. However, through much thought and consideration (LOL not really) I've come to a conclusion about this. As Muslims, its also an obligation for us to spread positive character and attitude, prophet Jacob said “I only complain of my grief and sorrow to Allah" (12:86). Our prophets set the examples that which we must follow, and prophet Jacob even when his son was lost and not known about for years he still remained vigilant and strong internally. Even the atmosphere at my school it is depressing for a Muslim and everywhere you look there is sin and kufr. I guess this is partly what drags me down, noticing everyone having fun while I must control myself and not sin. I often find myself having to take a minute to detach from the atmosphere to collect my thoughts and remember the cause of Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. We mustn't forget though, we have the greatest of gifts which is being rightly guided to ISLAM and especially the SHIA. Life is what you make it out to be, the reason why optimists have the most enjoyable lives is because they view life in the best possible way. For us to be happy, we must really be happy with our lives internally, and one the best ways to do so if just pray on time, read Quran, and do dua. Sorry I made this so long and agonizing for you guys to read, but I really felt the need to help someone else's life feel better (which I'm not too sure my writing did) considering that I've just been making everyone feel bad around me. Honestly today I wasted all my time that I could have been studying with because of this negativity, but I'm glad I went through this as I learned a good lesson (and got to post something on shiachat about it :3). Hopefully I put an end to this and raise my mood and in doing so raise the mood of others around me. Thanks for listening jazakumullahu be khair.
(salam) Dear brothers and Sisters, I have a very good friend who is in need of some guidance and assistance. I have known her since before we both got married and she was a very sweet, sensible, humble, loving girl. She loved to be with family, loved her distant family, was in touch with cousins etc. and was generally known to be a very caring person. She would go out of her way to care for others. That is how i met her! She was helping me out of her way for some research project I had for school. Her family is very loving as well, however everyone minds their own business and there is no concept of gossipping. They love each other, show concern, but do not interfere unnecessarily in each others matters. Parents are always guiding the children etc., but they generally would discuss things and resolve issues. I have never seen any attitude issues within her family ever! Never heard anything from her to suggest any issues either! She used to enjoy religous studies and learning. The reason for my post is that I spoke to her after a long time now. We both are married now and I am very upset/sad to see her state of mind! She is my friend, therefore I am biased towards her ofcourse, but I need some advise on how to help her emotionally get stronger? Per our conversation, here is her problem: (there is a long list of details behind all this that would take up forever to type here, but I can pinpoint if I get responses or questions) She has lost concentration in her Salaat/religious studies etc. completely and cannot get it back. I want to know duas etc. or acts that might help her! Her in laws are not too affectionate when it comes to displaying love for a new person in the family or welcome a person. Even her husband shows a level of selfishness at times and it had changed her personality in return. She has started to keep upset all the time. That happiness and charm of a caring person is gone now and all I see is someone who is very upset and living a day to day life! She does not seem to care at all about things anymore!! She was diagnosed with mild depression upon childbirth, however her husband disregarded that as a drama and never paid attention. Her mother in law has been very stubborn with her and tells her on her face that she is not comfortable with her even after 3 years of marriage now. She is facing difficult living situations at home with her mother in law interfering in everything and totally igorning her existence in the house when it comes to important things/news about family. She and her husband are usually never informed if there is a death in the family etc. She has noticed a reputation of her in laws at the mosque to be the "nosey" kind of family that gossips. They have blamed her several times for spreading rumors about their family etc. as well. She did mention that her husband was always it seems a neglected child since he lost his father at a very early age and was the youngest one in the family. Her husband has never expressed any of this to her directly. I wish to help her obtain some materials to maybe comfort/sooth her mind and get her to relax mentally. Her stress levels are affecting her personal life as well as her physical strength. She has started to look very sad and upset all the time now. Her husband is constantly trying to please his mother and in turn (maybe unintentionally) does not realize that he insults his wife just so his mother is happy! At this very point, her sole mode of survival is her daughter. She has been fighting her depression by showing love, care and affection to her child and teaching her the basic manners etc. She does work full time and is raising a child as well. She is also a major contributor to the finances around the house, therefore leaving her job is not an option. Can any of you suggest some mind clearing techniques through religous knowledge and some duas/amaals that might help her please? She does try to recite ayat-ul-kursi, 4 quls, ayat-e- Kareema etc. on a daily basis, but needs some more info. Especially to gain concentration before anything else. She feels she is not satisfied with her salaat either and she sees a difference now. Any advice would be appreciated. JazakAllah. KS
Salamalaikum, YAM, All praise is to Allah swt who helped me get through this excruciating examination session. I thank Him for giving me the strength and endurance to get through it all. Introduction and whom this is for Alhamdolillah i finished a very stressful session of engineering exams last week, which was arguably the most stressful time of my life. Since I've been working very hard for the last couple of months, I thought I will share my revision techniques with fellow momineen/mominaat on SC. I am an Engineering student and this guide is aimed at players only, who are aiming to bang out a minimum of 10+ hours everyday. However having said that, it doesnt mean that you cant cast down this guide into something less intensive.Since Iam an engineer (and i hate writing essays) and if your reading this you've got exams (i.e less time to spare), I shall endeavour to bulletpoint as much as I can in order to share my experience. Before I begin, may I remind everyone that revision is a lifestyle, not a regime!! 1) Focussing and staying positive * Engineering is one of those courses where there is truck loads to study in very little time. It can be daunting at times as to where to start and there is always a feeling that says I cant do this. The first steps of this guide is to murder that feeling! Seriously!Dont waste time by procrastinating i.e thinking about studying but not studying at all! You can do it and you will do it! If others can then so can you! * Start your day in the name of Allah swt, the Panjetan e Paaak a.s and then remind your innerself of the the above^^ (i dont mean the woman!) It is imperative that psychologically and mentally you beginin a happy state. * Work in groups! When you are banging out 9-15 hours a day revising, there will be times where the most simplest of things look very complicated. This is where it helps to have more than a pair of eyes looking at something as different people think differently. * In addition to above, you might save time by splitting a module into components. For e.g Adam does oscillators, I study operational amplifiers and George studies BJTs. Then after an hour you teach each other which collectively saves time and resources. * Another important thing is your approach. Usually in engineering, it helps a lot to simplify problems for e.g converting something very complicated into equivalent circuits, sketching graphs, making assumptions etc. This helps you to a) break down the problem B) look at it from a different point of view. I always start from bottom to top. From this is mean approach the problem from a very low level of analysis and then apply more complicated techniques. Usually big problems are solved with simple low level thinking. 2) Time table * I didnt have one, solely because i start procrastinating and hence adds to my stress levels. The most obvious thing to do is start early! More on this in the end * Also what i found really helped was to juggle between different subjects. So for e.g i would study nanotechnology in the morning and finish the day with electromagnetics. The reason why I did it this way is because last year i planned out a week/two for each subjects and when it got close to the exams, I couldnt remember anything! * What i did use was this for other minor things : https://play.google....su.astrid&hl=en I am sure there is an iphone equivalent somewhere! 3)Sleep more by sleeping less *Yep. I found this very very efficient. Sleep for 6 hours at night followed by 2, 30 minute power naps during the day. They both work as revision breaks + help u catch up with sleep (duh!) *However the above could be easier said than done as it takes time to train your body to this new lifestyle. Apparently this is how our ulema study as well by sleeping less at night but taking power naps during the day. * Also when you lie down on your bed, before you doze off try and recollect everything you learnt. Just picture all the equations/theories/proofs as it helps you think about them involuntarily - which they say is much better than normal thinking. 4) Study space and people * The study space should be well lit and adequately spaced. I love to spread all my files and folders around the room lol! * Work with like minded people. They help you and you help them. Simple as that! * Because of the above, I didnt bother with libraries as due to the complexity of my course, it is impossible for a person to get a 1st class by studying solely on his own. Hence the emphasis on group study. So we found a lecture theatre that wasnt in use and that was our study space! 5)Allah and the Ahlulbayt a,s Yes your revising hard....but that doesnt mean you have an excuse not to pray! Also say YAM all the time! All halal knowledge comes from the Ahlulbayt so dont forget them. * There are plenty of duas you can find on duas.org with regards to exams and that. 6) Facebook, SC and other distractions *Ok it is very hard to not to distract. So to get around it, we had setup a facebook group which had every1 from our year group. Here we would ask each other q's and discuss solutions. So when i went on fb, i would mainly use it to see wagwan in the group AND also see what others are up to. * As for SC and other websites, this is where the group that you work in helps. They motivate you and you motivate them. They stop you from slipping and vice versa. 7) Nutrition and exercise *It is very very very important that you eat healthy, clean and nutritious food. Your mind and body is working extremely hard and it is very important that you fuel it accordingly. Please dont bother with kfc, subway etc etc. They will make you feel sleepy, tired and will make you fat! (think about what your potential wifey would say!!) * If your are following 3), after my 30 minute nap, I would get up and do some pushups to feel lively. It is very important that you exercise adequately to compensate for all the time your sitting down on your bottom revising. 8) Backup your work * I have a lot of files on my computer which i just cannot afford to loose. Hence i got a dropbox (free one) and synced all the important files every few hours. * Also bought an external hard drive (just in case!) * If you've got essays and other text files, use google docs. 9)Thoughts and if i could go back then... * Although i started revising early, my proper revision 10+ hours started 3 months before the exams and it still wasnt enough near the end! So i would start much earlier! * An obvious thing which you probably hear all the time but seriuosly i learnt it the hard way. Keep up to date with what is going on in your course everyday! * Buy a mac and not a pc :D ! Still regret buying a windows machine! * Eat healthy! Cant emphasise on 7) enough. I was kfcing near the end of my exams as i couldnt be bothered to pack any lunch and i ended up with an upset tummy near the last week of exams! * Do more past papers *Smart revision - only revise what you need to. Getting a 1st is all about exam technique i.e knowing what to revise and how to do so. Talk to the people in the years above who have done the same exams as you last year. They might have some revision 'tips'. * Manage your time efficiently. As in dont cut off completely with family and friends but then at the same time dont socialise too much either. As i said before, I am an engineering student and I'm more comfortable with maths than words. Hence apologies if I've made any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes (and also it is past midnight here!). Hope it helps and yea feel free to ask about anything which i havent covered! Good luck and i shall finish this post with 1) i.e you can do it!! BULB!
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