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its impossible for me to get married!!
Lion of Shia posted a topic in Social/Family/Personalas salaam alakim!!!!!!!! I currently have no job and im in my mid 30s, im searching for one, but my parents don't want me to get one, they wont me on govt assistance. I want to get married before im too old!!! Im looking for jobs that pay good money, I need a car as well, inshallah I will get one. Any advice?
Using Muslim (Shia) matrimonial website
ArifHussainRajabali posted a topic in Social/Family/Personal(Bismillah) Salaam Alaykum I am in a dilemma with using online matrimonial website and I am not sure what to do. Recently, I was getting to know someone for marriage. I saw her picture but she hadn't had seen mine yet. The conversation went really well and we were hitting it off. After about an hour or two of talking, I showed her my picture and she suddenly changes her mind and says essentially (paraphrasing) that I am an amazing person but attraction is important for her too and she wasn't feeling that and just like that, she ended it. Earlier in the conversation she was really impressed and "mind blown" with how I converted to Islam, asking me about my ziyarat experience, hawsa and so on. But it seems like none that about me mattered anymore because of the attraction. Its happened before too. One girl after seeing my full length picture declined (I am not fat or obese, I am a regular at gym and sports), another had similar issues. I am starting to draw the conclusion that it really does not matter how "amazing" and "mind blowing" someone is, its means zilch, if you don't like their face? I guess my questions are: 1) How much importance should attraction hold? 2) From now onwards, should I just get a picture swap done straight away to avoid a repeat? Having said all this, I do agree that there can be a nervousness about speaking to someone who hasn't shown you their picture yet (for whatever reason) and you're slightly worried that what if you just don't feel any chemistry when you do see their picture and how do you break that too them. So from one perspective, I am glad these girls were just honest. As you can see, I am confused. What's the moral/right way of going about all this?
marriage. what do i do URGENT
fatma93 posted a topic in Social/Family/Personalsalam everyone. im iraqi and the person i want to marry is lebanese. we are both shia and both follow sistani. i started speaking to him 2 years ago and told my mum within 3 months of speaking to him. she spoke to my dad and he straight away said "we don't know him or his family and not lebanese" obviously i was hurt but i expected it. i asked my oldest brother for help but he didn't seem too interested. i understand where my father is coming from because he always wanted us to marry an iraqi and whatever but no-one understands how perfect this guy is and i know everyone says that but my faith in Allah came back because of him, i love learning about my religion, i use to miss prayers and since i met him, i love praying on time. i am a better person, his character did that.. inshallah i want my future sons to grow to be exactly like him. i don't know what else to do. my sister spoke to my mum today that they shouldn't ignore it because I've been waiting for 2 years and its just plain wrong. how do i convince my dad? we don't want to disrespect him, we want him on board but he doesn't even want to take the chance to know him. i pray every time to Allah, and i am soo patient, it will happen when Allah wants it to happen but im so upset because his side of the family already loves me and is also waiting for my parents. i don't know if i am writing this for a opinion or just expressing my hurt but can anyone help me, advice me.. maybe even give me hope. thanks in advance everyone x
marriage marriage and spouse search USA/Canada
zamf31 posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalSalam Alaykum brothers/sisters, I am a single father in my late 30's, indo/pak background, hindi/urdu speaking, and i m trying to get remarried and looking for single mothers similar to me in Canada/USA. I live myself with my kids in Canada. I have two questions if anyone have ever been through this before me: 1- Would you recommend getting married outside north america and sponsor your spouse from India, Pakistan.... UAE or other countries in the world? My concern are .... cultural difference with America...close mindedness, long waiting time and application to sponsor, .. mainly compatibility with my upbringing I am very open-minded Canadian and raised here but same time balanced with my desi culture and religion.. i m not sure if i will be able to share my life and relate to a person from another part of the world rather than USA/Canada.. what been your experience? I ma getting sometimes proposal from UAE or UK...but too long to call them here...Second, the education...the degrees done in other parts of the world such as indo-pak are not recognized here...and my spouse will struggle and i need someone to support me as a team and not someone who wouldnt be able to work professionally like me here...meaning if degree not equivalent it means basically she has no degree here....and she has to work odd jobs.. and financially supporting as two people in decent jobs is a must here especially in blended family.. 2- How do i find someone like me? my mosque doesnt have a good matrimonial service especially for divorced single mothers... it seems there arent as many.. which i doubt..plus.. i have tried all matrimonial website, shia site, muslims, phone apps, and have contacted randomly people in usa and canada.. i feel ashamed doing this like a desperate job seeker.!! I dont get time to go to social like when i was young life is busy i am older and have kids responsibilities everyday...people knowing each other may help each other but i dont have lot of friends...and my family is useless in this matter very ignorant and not skilled....Anybody knows how they have managed to get married a second time and find single shia mothers ? I am tired of all this.. now...too complicated..and wont find someone compatible.. and we have lot of muslims in our countries.. i may as well as end up marrying a decent good sunni.. I really dont know how to find a spouse in usa and canada and spouse of indian/pak citizenship worry me due to all the sponsorship and distance.. and cultural unknown to me...back home vs my mindset and culture here...
Is it possible to marry a sunni man?
Guest posted a topic in General Islamic DiscussionI am a shia girl and I have been very close to a sunni man for about 4 years now. We share an amazing bond together. He’s everything I have ever wanted in a husband. But I’m an Indian and he’s a pakistani and also he’s sunni and I’m shia which is the biggest issue here when it comes to our marriage. His family has agreed for this proposal and in my family everybody agrees but we are too afraid to inform my father as he disaproves marriages of such kind. If anyone can please help me out to give me a dua that can melt My father’s heart for this proposal. I’ll be very thankful to you and will always remember you in prayers. thank you
Don't focus on Hijab for spouse selection?
Guest posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalSo I hear this argument a lot as a guy searching for a practicing Shia spouse: "Oh don't be so strict on the hijab, she can always wear it after." or here's a better one: "What? You don't think you have enough faith to bring her closer to Islam." (paraphrasing) and of course my favorite: "Oh well just because this girl does Hijab now doesn't mean she'll do it forever. She might wear the hijab but wear tight jeans and do lots of make up." (I call this the hijabi fashionista argument which is valid to a point). So my question is: am I crazy to have something as simple, basic and WAJIB (key here) as hijab as one of my requirements for marriage? I mean if I'm looking for a practicing Muslim (isn't that by definition someone who does Hijab)? I feel if you have enough sense to wear Hijab you must have some sense about the basics of Islam. You may not be necessarily be religious but at least there is a visible potential there (and yes I know the whole "don't judge a book by a cover" but I think it applies here). I mean at the end of the day if Hijab doesn't matter, let me just go and find the most attractive looking girl and "charm her" into wearing hijab (sarcasm). I'm going insane.
dating with intention to marry
maryamjfr posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalAssalamualaikum brothers and sisters, From the title you can see the issue I am currently stuck with. I have met a sunni man and hope to get to know him better before we get married. We both started talking casually and there was no flirting. We talked about our families, issues, future plans of marriage, qualities we wish our future spouses would have. After a while, I realised he ticked so many of the boxes for the qualities of my future husband. I really saw potential in him which I never saw in anyone else before. When I told him how I felt, he was really relieved and said he felt the same and he never felt so sure about introducing a girl to his family. We both agreed that we wanted to be with each other with the intention of marrying each other. He is a sunni but a good muslim so Im not worried about the shia-sunni issue. We havent been on any dates since we only just decided to see each other but I was wondering if there was no halal way of seeing him? We are both quite young, medical students with the same mindset and ideas generally and islamically. I have done istakhara by myself and used a Tasbih, which gave a good result, but I was wondering if anyone here could do an istakhara using the Quran for me? I can't really talk to my local mullah about this. so background story aside, is there an islamic way of seeing someone? can someone do an istakhara for me using the Quran since I have a hard time interpreting it? Jazakallah
sisters going to the hawza
Mohammed666 posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalSalam, I am writing this for my friend who is soon joining hawza in Qom. He is 18 years and just completed his alevels. Before he joins the hawza he wanted to meet a sister that is also going to the hawza next semester (maby before or after) and he wanted to get married and start his studies. I am aware this is not a dating site, but it is the app with the largest community. If u want to know my friend and if u are interested..email me at email@example.com (make sure the sister speaks fluent English)
reckless.spouse posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalSalam Alaikum, Ive been a silent observer here for a few years now. This is a great website for people from all walks of life to discuss matters of mutual interest. I am starting this post in hopes of sharing my experiences with my fellow members here and to get their view about my debacle. I got married to girl from Shiamatch and now I am regretting it because she turned out to be a very different person than how it seemed on the match making website. Im not going to give her name as this post in just so I understand what I might be able to do differently to make things better. However I suggest thorough investigations into the person (and his or her past) who you only know from a website. The sad part is that she is not a bad person at all. We're just not a good match. Has anyone else here gone through something like this ?
Spouse Wants To Go To Mixed Gathering
knowledgeseeker posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalSalaam Alaykum, My spouse wants to go to a friends wedding reception. It will be a mixed gathering and will have alcohol too. I don't want to go. How to convince my spouse not to go either? It hurts me that my spouse is going to such a gathering. We will be attending the church wedding together. Kindly help. Ma'salaam
Pray For Me To Allah Please :)
Khalilallah posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalYou all know I was struggling to find someone who would be happy with me even though I am not rich and I am going to Iran. Well I realized that it is not possible, so I decided to just wait until I go to Iran but I also put more effort into my religion and prayers and asked Allah to grant me a pious wife, sooner. Whilst also thanking him for giving me loneliness. As a part of my self development exercise, I have been giving generously to others and in college I gave the Brothers and Sisters some free stuff like money, lunch, books etc. I was particularly kind to one brother who is white bearded and I think because of that he went out of his way to find me someone :) Now he has found a family who seem happy with my plans and I will be arranging a meeting between our families soon. Moral of the story = Allah is most loving, all knowing, all powerful therefore rely on him. Please ask Allah to deliver me to what is best for me, the only thing which remains is for them to like my personality and my family. Beseech God sincerely please. Thanks Wasalam
Shiamatch V. Shiaspouse V. Heavenlymatch V. Shaadi
TYE posted a topic in Social/Family/PersonalJust curious, what are people's opinions of: ShiaMatch v. ShiaSpouse v. HeavenlyMatch v. Shaadi? How many Shias are on each site? What types of people (particularly in level of being conservative/liberal, being in the U.S.-Canada versus elsewhere) are on these websites? Has anyone had or heard of anybody having success in finding their spouse on any of these websites?: The links are: http://shiamatch.com/ http://www.shiaspouse.com/ https://heavenlymatch.muslimcongress.org/ http://www.shaadi.com/ Salaams, TYE
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