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Assalamualaikum. Ya Ali (عليه السلام) Madad. I hope this message finds you well. I would like to share a deeply personal experience that I have undergone, seeking clarity and guidance from an Islamic perspective. About five years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a remarkable girl online. She is a zakira, devoted to reciting majalis throughout the year. We developed a strong connection over time, nurturing our relationship despite the physical distance between us. We've met sometimes tho. Unfortunately, our journey together took an unexpected turn when faced with a challenging situation. Before delving into this, allow me to provide some context. I have an elder sister who remains unmarried. The girl I was in love with and I aspired to marry one another. However, I held the belief that my sister's marriage should take precedence, delaying our own plans until she found a suitable partner. Despite our sincere intentions, we struggled to find a suitable match for my sister, leading to a prolonged wait. As time went on, the girl I cared for started receiving marriage proposals from other suitors. She expressed her concern to me, emphasizing the urgency of addressing our own relationship's future. She insisted that I approach my family about our desire to marry, or she would have no choice but to consider other proposals. Taking her words to heart, I initiated a conversation with my mother about our intentions. It is important to note that my father had passed away a few years prior, leaving me with the responsibility of communicating our intentions to my mother alone. To my dismay, my mother's initial response was one of rejection and unwarranted criticism against the girl's character. This reaction deeply pained me. This was the first instance I had witnessed such behavior from my mother, as she had always been kind and understanding. I found it difficult to reconcile the fact that the person I held in high regard could harbor such prejudice against someone I deeply loved. I embarked on a mission to convince my mother, invoking the significance of compassion and fairness emphasized in Islamic teachings. I reminded her that hasty judgments and character defamation were strictly prohibited, especially without sufficient knowledge about the person in question. I beseeched my mother to consider the qualities of the girl I loved, and to view our relationship with an open heart. I implored her to evaluate the situation fairly, placing trust in the values she had instilled in me over the years. The ensuing weeks were challenging as I balanced my deep affection for the girl I loved and my commitment to respect and honor my mother's wishes. Eventually, the emotional strain led to a point where my mother urged me to leave the house, coupled with the threat of being disinherited. In that moment of despair, I confided in my sister, who assured me that she would manage the situation and find a solution. Trusting her, I shared the girl's contact details with my sister, who took the initiative to speak with her father. Tragically, my sister's actions were contrary to what I had hoped for. She approached the girl's father and persuaded him to distance his daughter from me. This revelation shattered me completely, leaving me in a state of emotional turmoil. I felt utterly isolated, with thoughts of suicide clouding my mind as I believed I had lost everything dear to me. In the aftermath of these events, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and a deep sense of loss. The girl I had envisioned a future with was now united with another, my relationship with my mother and sister had suffered irreparable damage, and the trust I once held for my loved ones was shattered. For the past two years, I have tried to mend the broken ties with my mother and sister. While some semblance of normalcy has returned to our interactions, it is undeniable that the dynamics have forever changed. Their actions have left scars that continue to affect our relationship, leaving me feeling conflicted about the love and respect I once held for them. Their insistence that I seek forgiveness for a transgression I fail to comprehend only deepens my internal struggle. As I reflect on my journey, one question remains at the forefront of my mind: What guidance does Islam provide for individuals facing such intricate and emotionally charged situations? I yearn for clarity on how to navigate this turmoil in a way that aligns with my faith. My earnest aspiration is to eventually establish financial stability, enabling me to make the difficult choice of parting ways with my family and seeking a life of my own. I am genuinely appreciative of any insights or wisdom you might be able to offer, grounded in Islamic teachings and values. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for considering my plea for guidance.
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- family issue
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If a Shia sister did zina would you marry her? Can you marry her? Are Shias more proneto zina then sunnis?
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Assalamu alaykum everyone! I was wondering if a sister could put in a recommendation for me to join the sisters forum/club. Jazak’Allah
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- sister
- sisters forum
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Salam Alaykom brothers and sisters! I have a big issue in my family. (My parents passed away 5-6 years ago. This has a true meaning to my issue). My sister is in a haram relationship with a bad guy. He has been with numerous amount of girls, even going to Thailand for vacation and the temptations over there, (while being with my sister, but she doesnt blieve me), I know that he had slept with prostitutes in Thailand, his brother told mes. He is a guy who gambles, smokes, has been in a lot of fights, is surrounded by bad friends, not at all a religious guy och a very bad charactor. There has been/is intimacy between the two and I tried to break them up by firstly talking to him and her, several times. After 3-4 times of "breaking up", my sister was still lying to me about this guy. One day I found out that this guy had been where me and my sisters were, visiting relatives. He had given my sister a letter from the police from this other county because he didnt understand what the letter said. So I found this and was furious and went to his house. I went in and told him to stay away and he said he didnt want to. I asked him about the intimacy. He lied at first, but later he said that it was I while ago. So I punshed him in the face. I told him that I wanted to talk to his parents, so I had to come back later that day. I did and I talked to them. They told me that they would talk to him, but that it would take time, because he would get mad. This made me think that his parents are afraid of him. I dont know what to do, I have tried to stop talking to her because I was sick and tired of all the fights we've had. Of course this did ot work. I tried to talk her out of it, it didnt work. I asked her what she sees in him and she says, he is nice to me and my answer to that is that there are a lot of nice people out there. She, herself, doesnt even know what she sees in him. Wassalam!
- 36 replies
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- sister
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I was Reading A Report by Dr Ashar on Pakistan,s Young Man And Women I am Shoked After Reading the Research (That More Then One crore Muslim sisters in Pakistan above 18 Year Old are Unmarried and Waiting Some body For Nikkah And 70 percent in Them Are Getting Old) , After Reading That Report A Question Raise in My Mind That Who is responsible and Why our Muslim Scholars and Mullah,s Never Highlight This issue Before And This Ratio increased Day by Day..... Whats You Think About This ... ? Thanks: Haider Sherazi
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Assalam aleikum brothers and sisters, I am a revert sister who wants to take the shahdah but I'm having trouble finding the right mosque. I looking for a place that is accommodating to sisters and offers classes inshallah. I'm at university in Chester so I could travel anywhere in the North West, especially Manchester or Liverpool. And my home is in Derby so I can go to anywhere surrounding that area. Thank you for your time.
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Asalaam Alaikum my dear brothers and sister: Currently, I am in need of some advice, this does not have to be limited to women only, men may feel free to offer advice as well. I have a sister in faith who converted last spring. I only spoke to her a few days before her conversion; she had told me of her intent to convert. Unfortunately, she visited another sister's house, and this sister's husband rushed her into conversion. He exclaimed "convert you may die tomorrow!" Now this approach would work on a convert who was already deep in the process in the converting and needed an extra emotional push; however, she was greatly overwhelmed by this as she admitted this to me later. Only a few days later she started wearing a hijab because she was in contact with a rather conservative brother. She may have felt compelled because he influenced her before she was ready. There is nothing wrong with wearing the hijab early if you are prepared, but I believe she was scared to commit a sin after being a new convert. She always tells me she wished she converted in the manner I did. I admit, however, I took a while: I prayed for months prior, and sought education on Islamic matters. I even fasted during Ramdhan before I formally did my shahadha. This I believe, is important to understand the current situation. This past Ramadhan she took off the hijab, for the biggest reason being she did not enjoy it and was disillusioned by the harsh criticism women received for not wearing the "proper hijab." She may have also worn it due to her contact with the conservative man she was gathering information from. While, I know it is not my place to tell her to wear it as she already knows it is the Qur'an and is a commandment from Allah swt. I understand that hijab is difficult, and she did not ease into the hijab. For example, when I was in the process of beginning to wear it, I started only wearing pants or long skirts, long sleeves with no skin showing, and tying my hair back with a large headband. She just wore it one day, and that was it. Now she does not wear hijab, but she does not observe the modesty similar to how I began. I fear she took it as a pass to wear immodest clothes simply because she was no longer wearing the scarf. Unfortunately she is in relations with a non-Muslim man, and I am worried she will continue to do so. I have no idea if she has the intent in marrying this man, but I know she is deeply opposed to marriage due to the Saudi culture she is exposed to. Also, I do not know if she knows that she cannot marry this man unless he converts. I know he is a good man, but still I am worried. Everyone around her congratulates her for taking the scarf off and asks her to share experience on this; she, however, does not like this attention. I was hoping if you guys had any advice on what to say or do for her. I am too scared of showing her videos in fear that will drive her away from me. She is a very good friend of mine, and a wonderful woman. She is opinionated and therefore I do not know if she will take any of my advice. She had the opportunity to marry the man who she had contact with, but she refused, and I hope not because of me. I told her of some of the obligations of the woman/wife, and this put her off. I just did not want her to enter a marriage with a conservative man without knowing what she would need to do as her new role as wife. Sorry if this sounds like rambling, but I would greatly appreciate your advice. I am very meek so I hope some of you can give me good advice. Masalaama. Peace
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Sallam aleikum brother and sisters I am in need of urgent help I do not know where else to go. I am facing quite a dilemma at my masjed with regards to my sister and the Imam. I am 25 years old and have been a member of my masjed since I can remember, as has been my family. We are all very devout and attend frequently. I am the elder of my house as my father passed away 2 years ago and have had to work 2 jobs to help support our family as I have become the main earner of the house. As such, the masjed, and especially the Imam, has graciously helped our family through these struggles for which I am forever thankful and my Allah bless them all. Recently, the Imam, who has been here since long before my family has come to the masjed and is well known and respected and powerful in the area amongst fellow Shia and the community as a whole, has proposed a Sigheh with my 21 year old little sister, who has been my best friend and closest sibling since she was born . He is in his 50s. Everyone in my family (my mother and 2 younger siblings) are absolutely excited and elated for her as he is very well respected and seen as a fatherly figure amongst the community. He has never been married before. My sister has told me that she did not view the Imam in any way romantically before but because he is so well respected amongst the community and has been helping us since my fathers passing, that it is the least our family can do to show thanks. I was quite shocked by her response, and asked her if she loves him. She said no she does not but that she feels that it is the best she marry him. It is as if she has sacrificed her self for the well being of the family. I am very against it and feel that the Imam should not become involved with someone of his flock, especially with the age gap present. However I feel that this will become a conflict of interest as I feel that my rejection to this marriage will cause the masjed to no longer support our family and as such, cause us to lose our home. I have spoken with my close freinds at work as well as others at the masjed, all of who'm are members, and everyone has said that it is a blessing from Allah and that I should stop getting in the way of the love which has been blessed between the Imam and my sister. I however feel that everyone has become blinded by their loyalty to the Imam and are not seeing the situation from an unbiased light. I have told everyone that she does not truly love him, however in public she has maintained that she does and accepts the marriage. Everyone has been telling me to accept and I now feel that the entire masjed as well as my own family now is going against me. When we invited the Imam to the house following the proposal, I spoke with him one on on regarding the proposed marriage. He told me that he feels an attraction to her that he has never felt in his life and that it is a sign from Allah that he has met his true love. He told me he understands why I would at frist reject, as she is my closest member of my family but that I should not intervene between their love. However, after I maintained my stance and told him that I spoke with my sister and she has told me she does not love you and is only accepting for the wellbeing of our family and that for that I cannot give my acceptance to the marriage, he became quite angry and said that Acceptance or not this marriage will occur as it is Allah's will and that there is nothing I can do about it and stormed out I now feel like I am no longer welcome to the mascjed and have become a pariah amongst my community. I truly beleive that the Imam is blackmailing my family into the marriage and that no one else can see this but myself. My family has become rather cold to me since this. My sister acts the same with me in person and says she loves me for what standing up for her but has now told me to stop as this will hurt the family and that I should just accept it. I begged and cried for her to tell everyone the truth and not ruin herself so young; that this is not true love. She cried with my and understood but said that she must marry him. a fellow shia brother of mine from Uni told me I should try this website as there are many well-versed and wise members here that could offer me insight or help into the situation. Brothers and sisters, frankly I feel that I have no where else to go and that I will be ruined by the Imam and the masjed. I have prayed to Allah numerous times and have not received an answer. I feel that I have been abandoned and this whole ordeal is starting to make my lose my faith. Please help. I am sorry if this entire story is disjointed I am just in shambles now and feel I have nowhere else to turn. This whole ordeal as well as Ramadan staring have put a real stress on me. Tashakor and may Allah bless you all.
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(salam) To my dearest little sister, may you be safe and prosperous on your journey, Insha'Allah. I have seen you Unregistered, and Insha'Allah khair, I hope you return one day after your studies. I have received the chador in the mail, and I was shocked to receive it. It is beautiful, and I thank you so very much dearest sister. If this note finds you, I hope you are well, and Insha'Allah for your safe return from howza. I miss you, and you are always in my prayers. It was such a lovely gift, and the material is perfect :) I am hoping you still check SC; but given your situation and location, it's not likely to reach you. Insha'Allah, if this does find you, please know I am thinking of you, and I know you will do great on your journey and quest for knowledge. I hope that I helped you before you left, and I hope when you come back, you still remember your friends at SC. If I visit while you are still there, I will surely see you! I am so very proud of you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my little sister, and Insha'Allah you have a blessed Ramadan. p.s. Addressing, To: Ahlul-Bayt on the package instead of my real name was so, Mash'Allah, it made me smile and tear up :D Your Sister and friend, (wasalam) AB313
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Salam Alaykom! I have started another topic before but I forgot to mention the other aspect of why I cant this sunni girl who has agreed to let our children to be raised as shias, so the response to that topic faided out and peopple couldnt help me. So insha'Allah you all can help me here instead. I want to marry this girl and before the problem was that I couldnt because she was sunni, but I was convinced that I could do so anyway because she agreed to raise our children as shias and maybe someday she herself will become a shia too insha'Allah. But another big problem here is that I have sisters who expect to able to do the same things as me. That they can marry a guy who is sunni/(or in my sister's case, a bad shia who is from another country(and so is this girl I want to marry)). What should I do? Wait for my sister to get married first? Cause that is what I'm doing right now... And it's killing me, because I have many sisters and I cant wait forever for them to get married.... This girl might not wait for me that long... I hope you guys can give some good advice! May Allah bless you all! Wa Salam!
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Assalamu Alaykum I reverted to Islam a few months ago. I was wondering if there any fellow revert sisters from north america on this site? :D
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Salam, I'm new to London and desperately need my hair done. I don't know any sisters here for guidance to find a qualified ladies only hairstylist. :( Does anyone have recommendations for a good ladies only hair stylist in London? Preferably one that is an expert colourist. Jazakullah Khair for your help!!! :D
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- hair
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Assalamu Alaykum, My name is Mariam and I have converted to Islam about 3 months ago after a lengthy research and reading up about it. I am an English speaker, and was blessed with close friends (born Muslims) who taught me to pray and answered my questions early on in my journey to Allah, the Most Merciful and the Most Great. However, I have moved cities a month ago and am currently living in London where I don't have any Muslim friends at all. I was wondering if anyone knows of any Shia centres that have lectures / gatherings for sisters in English? I would love to become a part of a community here in London, but cannot find anything myself. Especially now, during the blessed month of Ramdhan, are there any places in London that do night prayers for sisters? Or if you are a revert sister yourself, would be nice to hear from you.. Shukran... Mariam.
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As-Salaam Alaikum I am a revert to Shia Islam about two months now. i am married with two daughters. I took Shahdah in 2003 under the Sunni Salafi sect and stopped practicing Islam (prayer ,fasting) one year later due the horrible mistreatment of the Muslims that I was around. It really broke my spirit. Alhamdulillah while always having a yearning in my heart to come back to Islam I made the choice after reading Then I was Guided . This book was recommended to me by my brother who reverted in September . He says I actually convinced him to look into Islam Alhamdulillah. I am the only other member of my family who is Muslim. My husband is not a Muslim and does not want anything to do with Islam. My daughters desire to be Muslim (ages 9 and 6). I am just wanting to get to know other Shia sisters who live in NC as I live in a small town and the nearest Masjid in Hamlet NC is 30 minutes away and I do not know if the are Shia or not.
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