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Salaam. I am a sunni and I like a boy who is shia. Say we wanted to get married so before marriage will I need to do hajj? And do the tawaf al nisa? or is it not mandatory for me and only he will have to do it?

Salaam Alaykum all, may this message find you well. I am a Shia female that belongs to a very respectful family alhamdullilah. However during my journey at University I came across a Sunni male. We want to get married. We are aware of the challenges this may pose and have in fact spoken about it before because we do not want any problems to arise after marriage especially with our kids. It will take a lot of compromises though but most aspects of Shiaism are not a problem for him. As you have figured from the title, I have already approached my parents and all I have received is a no. I was expecting this, however I do think persistence may pay off. Do not get me wrong, I do not want to engage in anything haram nor do I want to compromise with my Aqidah. I have discussed with the man I wish to marry that I strongly believe Ali should have come first and I have immense love for the ahlulbayt. my parents do not see it that way and are afraid of what the community will think and think my faith will fade and I will divert to the wrong path. I do not want to make my parents unhappy or do the wrong thing but I am willing to learn about both sides for my own sake so that my faith is not merely inherited. Although from what I do know I am convinced I am on the right path but I do acknowledge that we are all muslims at the end of the day and the ummah really needs to unite at this point in time. Also, when my father refused I asked for him to do an Istikhara for my own reassurance and he refused because as my wali he does not accept the person I wish to marry. Is it true that the wali is the one that should take an istikhara or can I do it myself? Also, do you think I should? Finally, I am an Agha Sistani follower who says that if there's a chance of being misled, marrying a Sunni is not permissible. However as I mentioned earlier most things we can agree to and I will continuously be practising my Shia faith. In conclusion I would like some advice on how to approach my parents and get the to agree. Also if you are aware of the ways and ruling on istikhara. Please let me know. Thank you Jazakallah

So Surah Tahrim tells us there were 2 wives who really offended the Prophet [Shakir 66:1] O Prophet! why do you forbid (yourself) that which Allah has made lawful for you; you seek to please your wives; and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. [Shakir 66:2] Allah indeed has sanctioned for you the expiation of your oaths and Allah is your Protector, and He is the Knowing the Wise. [Shakir 66:3] And when the prophet secretly communicated a piece of information to one of his wives-- but when she informed (others) of it, and Allah made him to know it, he made known part of it and avoided part; so when he informed her of it, she said: Who informed you of this? He said: The Knowing, the one Aware, informed me. [Shakir 66:4] If you both turn to Allah, then indeed your hearts are already inclined (to this); and if you back up each other against him, then surely Allah it is Who is his Guardian, and Jibreel and -the believers that do good, and the angels after that are the aiders. [Shakir 66:5] Maybe, his Lord, if he divorce you, will give him in your place wives better than you, submissive, faithful, obedient, penitent, adorers, fasters, widows and virgins. [Shakir 66:6] O you who believe! save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones; over it are angels stern and strong, they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, and do as they are commanded. [Shakir 66:7] O you who disbelieve! do not urge excuses today; you shall be rewarded only according to what you did. [Shakir 66:8] O you who believe! turn to Allah a sincere turning; maybe your Lord will remove from you your evil and cause you to enter gardens beneath which rivers flow, on the day on which Allah will not abase the Prophet and those who believe with him; their light shall run on before them and on their right hands; they shall say: Our Lord! make perfect for us our light, and grant us protection, surely Thou hast power over all things. [Shakir 66:9] O Prophet! strive hard against the unbelievers and the hypocrites, and be hard against them; and their abode is hell; and evil is the resort. [Shakir 66:10] Allah sets forth an example to those who disbelieve the wife of Nuh and the wife of Lut: they were both under two of Our righteous servants, but they acted treacherously towards them so they availed them naught against Allah, and it was said: Enter both the fire with those who enter. [Shakir 66:11] And Allah sets forth an example to those who believe the wife of Firon when she said: My Lord! build for me a house with Thee in the garden and deliver me from Firon and his doing, and deliver me from the unjust people: [Shakir 66:12] And Marium, the daughter of Imran, who guarded her chastity, so We breathed into her of Our inspiration and she accepted the truth of the words of her Lord and His books, and she was of, the obedient ones. Irrespective of who the wives in question are, here are some questions: 1) Verse 66.4 tells them to turn to Allah, had they turned away from Allah? If not, then why the ayah? If so, then did they stop being Muslim? 2) Verse 66.5 talks about replacing the 2 wives with adjective about the qualities of the new wives. Does this mean that the 2 wives were not "submissive, faithful, obedient, penitent, adorers, fasters, widows and virgins"? If not, then why these adjectives? If so, then how could these wives be the favorite wives of the Prophet? 3) Verse 66.10 talks about the disobedient wives of Prophets Nuh and Lut. Are the 2 wives of the Prophet being compared to the wives of Nuh and Lut?

(bismillah) This research is done by Ayatullah Sayyid Abulqasim al-Khui . Credit goes to Al-Islam.org for providing this source (http://www.al-islam.org/the-collection-and-preservation-of-the-quran-extract-ayatullah-adul-qasim-al-khui) This is a very deep article which tackles both Shia and Sunni views in regarding "tahrif" or distortion of the Quran. I highly suggest everyone to even just skim it if you have time. Its interesting to note the pro tahrif in sunni hadith books while they accuse us of having a different quran. Well, one of our top ulema highly rejects this false claim. Also the author goes on to bring various hadiths from Shia books which pro tahrif opinions may use and he dissects and explains them. inshAllah may we all learn something from this. (wasalam)