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How can we reconcile Islam rendering sexuality as both insignificant and the most pleasurable thing in existence? Keep in mind our destination will be heaven and sex will be the most engaged-upon activity in heaven. Is sex insignificant only in this world, but significant in heaven? Imam Ali (AS): “He whose intellect is complete finds sexual desires insignificant.” [Ghurar Al-Hikam, No. 8226] Imam Sadiq (AS): “Indeed, the people of heaven do not take delight in the pleasures of heaven more than sex; neither food nor drink has that much pleasure for them.” [Wasail Al-Shia, V. 20, Hadith 24929] It was asked of Imam Sadiq (AS): “If someone undresses his wife (and makes her naked) and looks at her, is there a problem?” He replied: “There is no problem, is there any better pleasure than this that exists?” [Hadiyah Al-Mutaqin, P. 111]

I m 15 year old boy once when i was 12 year old my cousin just showed me a pornographic video after that i could'n stop mastrubating plz help me out i hate my self from this but when i dont i could not even sleep i feel like loneliness plz help me out of it

Salmaalekum, I would like to know why can't a fatwa be passed specially for youths living in the west. So it can help ease and alleviate the suffering, and guilt that is attached to masturbating? Millions of young man and woman who can't get married at a young age for various reasons specially "education", are indulge in this act not by choice, but it is inescapable for young healthy adult to shut off his/her desire completely until marriage. Or control it by fasting etc. for a long period of time! My story I have tried every tactics there are in the book in order to stop masturbation. And when i say i "tried" let me tell you, i have been through hell! So, it has been now 2 years since i have been fighting this battle, first let me tell you how i was before, when i did not touch upon this topic. "Peace of mind, high confidence, stress free, positive feelings, loved life, studying, going to college, going out, meeting people, going to mosque, etc. Were some of the things i used to do, before i tried stopping masturbation. And now let me tell you what has happened to me while i tried to stop masturbating after i contacted marja/ ayatollah; SEVERELY DEPRESSED FOR TWO YEARS, ANXIETY, STRESS, CONSTANT FEELING OF GUILT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DON'T LIKE TO PRAY, STOP GOING OUT AND SPEAKING TO ANYONE, NERVOUSNESS, QUIT COLLEGE etc. I know that it is my fault, that i went so deeper into this topic in order to stop masturbation . But it was only to please Allah and remove that burden off my chest, but i still failed. Plus getting the advice from marja did not help my suffering, as it just kept pushing me deeper in to the hole i was already in. Lastly, i would like to know what you guys opinion on this subject, i know that i am not the only one who has been consumed by this matter. And i did many researched and found out many such stories like mine. Where the youth had gone far as trying to end his life, from the suffering. At the moment i have just accepted my self, which has given me confidence, and peace of mind! Ali

Salam Dear Brothers and Sisters, This will be my first post on ShiaChat...IA I will be more active here in the future, Ok...So I have come to the conclusion that I am ready for marriage, To indeed confirm my readiness - I read: Selecting a Spouse: The Heavenly Path. It was a good read and It discussed many aspects of relationships, However I face a few obstacles that the book did not discuss-I was hoping some scholars here can help me with them: Obstacle #1) My parents are currently in the worst state of their marriage ever. You name it - it happened: police, physical & verbal fights, court, etc. Since about a few months ago third party interference has died down and now all that remains between them are angry phone calls. They do not live with each other - but they're still married. They are not in the mind set of finding someone for me - they are not even considering looking - nor do I have the heart to ask them to look for it would add to their emotional burden. Obstacle #2) Sexual Frustration: (Please stop reading now if you are not mature enough to handle this subject) I long for intimacy and gratification - this is not just a guy problem - recently its been escalating. I've done harram things which I will have to be punished for - either in this life or the next - and I need to continuously repent for my actions. In addition, because I'm a virgin I cannot undergo temporary marriage. I follow Ayatullah Syed Ali Al-Husaini Seestani. (I've done some things recently that have eased the sexual tension, i.e. exercise. I read about exercise as a form of relief somewhere on this forum and it works.) Obstacle #3) (women will understand this one more than the men) Physical attraction - although it may be verbally disregarded in dialogue about marriage - people see it as something someone should not exclusively look for in a spouse - true but it is nonetheless there - acting as an unconscious gravity. I know that if I want to get a spouse who takes care of his body - I should in turn take care of mine. The obstacle here is my weight, in my mothers paraphrased words: you need to lose weight before you can get engaged. So I've concluded she's right - it hurts - but she's right. She also has mentioned I need to grow my hair. Although there is nothing scholars can say about this issue - I still feel compelled to share it. I'm currently reading more books to increase my readiness: From Marriage to Parenthood: The Heavenly Path, Islamic Laws According to the Fatawa of Seestani, etc. Questions for Scholars: What can I do to find a spouse? Where can I start looking? What services are available for me on this site? On another recommend site? How can I ask Allah for a spouse? I feel ashamed to this - I'm not sure why. All mature comments and questions are welcomed. Was'Salam

Hello all, I need some guidance and information with the questions or points i'm going to list. I am part of a Muslim family and always was a Muslim but I was the kind of Muslim that just said he was. I pretended to fast, didn't pray, did forbidden acts (not intercourse), etc. I really don't know what hit me because all of a sudden I just started learning about Islam and praying. It was kind of weird and I still don't know how or why that happened. Anyway I have been learning and "fixing up" since the start of this month but there are issues that I need help with. Prayers - I am trying to remember to pray everyday and I haven't really missed a lot this month but the only one I have a problem with and confused about is morning prayer. I can't wake up and just pray, that's just not possible for me. So I was wondering if I can pray it when ever I just wake up or is it compulsory to wake up to pray. If it is, I know for a fact I ain't getting up and if I somehow I do, I won't be able to sleep again. Certain sights - I see a lot of half naked girls while i'm out and stuff. Do I have to lower my gaze because I have been seeing this stuff since birth and I live in London so it's like looking at a tree to me, if you get what i'm getting at. Secondly, websites like Tumblr. People post pictures of nude girls, is it okay if I see those pictures but just carry on like its nothing? I already do that and it does not influence me to go masturbate or have intercourse with a girl or anything. I'm just use to it. So is it haram do to this or not since it doesn't engage me to do any prohibited act or even go on a pornographic website. Sexual Desire - I considered this normal since everyone did it, encouraged it and talked about it. I don't really know if this is true but apparently it's part of our natural to masturbate. Since intercourse before marriage is forbidden in Islam I ended up doing a search on masturbation and found out it was forbidden too. So I have masturbated since and its been 24 days. Even though I get an urge to do it and I did this act regularly before, like nearly everyday but I am able to just somehow beat the temptation and not do it, never thought I could but I did. What I am asking here is because I stopped this act, would it reduce the chance or even cure my reproductive system (if the problem is in the reproductive system lol) from premature ejaculation? I don't know if I have it but I reached orgasms quickly at times. I'm probably not going to perform any type of sexual act since I have 16 years of education ahead :mellow:. Fail. Haaj - This is part of the five pillars in Islam, I think it is anyway not to sure, but I don't know if I can do this or want to. I mean, going to Saudi Arabia, shaving my head, wearing white robes and paying for the trip seem to cancel out everything even if there are good sides. I mean after i'm done with my education I will be earning quite a lot so money isn't a problem to be honest. But yeah is it compulsory? I did hear that if you can afford the trip and stuff you have to go, i'm not sure if this is true so explaining that would be great. Those are my main things on my head now but if people know of any websites or books (not the quran, already have it) can you please link me to the websites and tell me the books names. There are a lot of websites out there I know but I won't probably be able to tell the difference if its Sunni or Shia. I'm looking for Shia ones. Forgot to say, i'm a 16 years old male. Thanks :shifty: