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AsSalam o alaikum members, I need some serious help regarding this issue. So let me start by this,after watching some of the documentaries on Ayatollah Taqi Behjat ,I wanted to be like him and I listened and tried to follows all his advices which were simple : Do not commit sin and perform your salah on time.To be very honest I followed this for approx 3 weeks and I was very happy and felt spiritual calmness in myself but,after sometime (as I was extra-ordinary sinful before : I didnt drink or commit shirk,you can imagine the lust in a teenager,that was my matter,so mostly my sins were relating to lust and desires)while sitting in a majlis I suddenly started to get very very vulgar thoughts about Masoomeen (عليه السلام) ,believe me very vulgar.I tried to remove them but it seemed that it had been glued to my brain.I contact some Molana and they said me to recite LaHawla... and some other verses.but it didn't provided me comfort,I even faced a such in which I slammed my head to wall and punched myself.So the alim told me to indulge myself into other things like playing any sport etc by doing the niyyah of Qurbatillah.So this thing provided me comfort when I indulged myself into these things but,these thoughts attack me when I am listening a noha or majlis or anything related to 14 Masoomeen (عليه السلام),so after this I myself avoid to listen to Noha or Majlis or any other talk about Masoomeen (عليه السلام) fearing that the thoughts will come back and haunt me forever.I am very depressed and after trying everything it seems that the thoughts are glued forever till when I am alive.Ifear that if I may die now what will happen to me in my grave,or how will I explain it to my Imam Mehdi A,S as He (عليه السلام) knows all about us. Btw my age is 20. Any help to remove these thoughts permanently will be highly appreciated.
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