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Salaams Whenever the topic of marriage comes about between my circle of friends and I, or between acquaintances or the wider community in general, I am always made to feel implicitly guilty for stating a preference or desire to want to marry outside of that community and to marry a revert. I now find myself not even wanting to bring up the topic with them, ask or even answer any questions about marriage because I simply do not have the energy to repeat and justify my reasoning. Finding potential people seems like an even more hopeless endeavour btw, but I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it inshA. Any advice from people who have had similar experiences? Or reverts or spouses of reverts? Thank you For context, 30 M in London btw

Hello everyone, Recently converted to shism. Just wanted to know that what are the surnames a shia convert can use. A list of surnames would be of great help

Assalamu Alaikum to all. I reverted to Shia Islam in my late teenage years but I'm now only realizing now at the age of 30 how lost I've actually really been with my faith & life throughout those years. I don't think I realized when accepting at that time the heaviness & the seriousness of my responsibilities towards actually really knowing God, His Attributes & worshipping Him properly, with either real understanding or sincerity of the heart. I feel I've just lived a life so far of shallowness & insincerity towards God & Religion overall & it causes me such extreme fear, grief & sadness everyday. Since a very young age I've suffered with an array of various psychological issues which were not treated properly at the time due to factors such as probably genetics, my upbringing & social environment I was in. Forgive me, as I don't know how to articulate & explain my situation in concise manner & detail. I'm very ashamed to admit I haven't really done obligatory prayers, made duas, followed or understood the laws within Islam in that lifetime properly. One of the main reasons is due to a very torturous & unique perfectionism personality disorder which has affected my overall life & it has affected me from actually reaching my potential or achieving any type of success in life, whether that be in a career, education, job or relationships with others. It's such a psychological condition that it makes me give up on everything if I don't live or do something perfectly or in order & affects every aspect of my life, it's very difficult to explain but it's such a mental torture, as it just wastes my years & I end up just living a purposeless life, I just can't control it. I also throughout my life have suffered constant anxiety, particularly social anxiety, depression & other conditions undiagnosed conditions aswell. This condition has affected me from seriously reading, studying, learning & practicing my faith properly & developing any real connection with God, Qur'an & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)). I have some little knowledge of my faith due to watching many lectures over the years from various speakers/scholars but I feel completely confused & lost. I've been living on my own all these years but I've been in denial about some of my mental health issues & I have sinned & transgressed personally aswell such that I fear I am being punished in this life & the next. I've also neglected reading & reciting Quran for so long, not because I didn't want too but my condition is such but I've also been ignorant aswell & I lack the knowledge & wisdom or is my heart hard not receiving truth or guidance due to my sinning & ignorance..I just don't know if I'm sincere or not. My heart feels very tight when I'm trying to approach & read Quran & I get constant blasphemous/negative, insincere thoughts, thoughts of Quran not being the words of God or true & that you don't believe it & is this really from God. I feel deep down in my heart & soul that Islam, Quran & the personalities of Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)) is the truth but my faith foundations are weak & I fear I've gone completely astray. I fear my beliefs being shallow & insincere, as I feel constant tightness when trying to get close to God & I'm always trying to speak to Him in my own way but I don't feel anything which pains me so much. I feel my life has no purpose without God & doing any good deeds or setting any goals in life is meaningless without doing them for the sake of God. I don't want to do good for myself, I just want to know & please God, to really have firm belief in Him & love for Him in my heart but I just don't know anymore, my chest & heart feels very tight. I feel my life is wasted & I constantly just think about death, grave & eternal punishment. I feel I've been shallow, insincere & not really praised towards God sincerely because I don't really know Him as I should. I felt a connection to God when I first reverted to Islam through knowing Prophet Muhammad(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم), Imam Ali((عليه السلام)) & Imam Hussain((عليه السلام)) but now I don't feel anything at all & it pains me so much. I don't even know what I am anymore. I fear because I forgot Allah for so long that he made me forget my own self. I really want to follow & understand Islam properly but I fear not having the mental capacity & God not guiding me & leaving me astray to live & die like this because of how much I've done wrong to my own self/soul due to excessive sinning/transgressions & not fulfilling obligations over so many years. I have some family members like my mother who is very loving & supportive but they are non Muslims & whatever they say can't help me because I just want to know Allah but I fear my heart is too hard now & that I connect to Him, Quran & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)) due to these issues. I fear I'm not humble, grateful & not completely surrendering myself sincerely towards God because I'm so caught up in my own head & unbalanced psychologically. I didn't remember or have trust in Him for so many years, I feel I lack the faith, knowledge, wisdom & emotional/mental capacity to comprehend & understand Quran. I'm only able to read Quran in English language which is limiting & I read it & I don't feel connected to God which makes me have extreme fear, then when I'm reading certain stories I get thoughts in my mind & heart that this isn't God's word, which really pains me because I seek that belief & guidance from Quran. I know only a few Shia Muslim brothers but we aren't that close, we live apart & they are older than myself & they have careers, work, families & productive lives unlike me. I hardly keep in touch with them because I'm ashamed of who I am. I just seek guidance from God, as I don't want anything else in life but at the same time I suffer psychologically. I've been trying to pray the daily prayers for the past year consistently but it's becoming too difficult for me now due to the psychological state I'm in & I just don't feel I'm being humble or sincere in belief & worship towards God...it absolutely kills me but I just can't pray when I'm in this state of mind but then I get more intense anxiety for missing so many prayers. I live on my own & I cry nearly everyday for months now calling out to God for help & guidance but I feel he doesn't want me because of how arrogant, ignorant, shallow & insincere I've been over the years towards Him or maybe I just don't really know Him. I've done wrong to myself but some things I just can't do or control psychologically & it frustrates me so much. I feel mentally & physically fatigued everyday. I cannot eat, drink or sleep properly. I don't want to live & die in this state. I don't want to die as a disbeliever, hypocrite, sinner or a wrongdoer but what can I do if I can't connect or be guided to Allah, Qur'an or Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)). It's all becoming so overwhelming for me now. I watch many inspiring lectures from various speakers & scholars but it's one thing being inspired/motivated by their words relating to Allah, Quran & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)) & then you yourself having that firm belief & understanding to implement these teachings in your life & being on your own for over a decade. Forgive me if I haven't made much sense in what I've wrote but as you can probably tell by my post I'm just mentally not in a good state & I don't want to lose this life & the next life but I fear I've completely lost myself, my faith & knowing & having firm belief in the religion of Islam but my intention is not too lose it or not to know the truth before death overtakes me. I don't know where to turn anymore. I always like to go outside for walks by myself & I'm always trying to ponder & reflecting on the creations & signs of God around me to try & know Him, whether it be looking into the the sky during the day or at night, observing the Sun, the Moon & Stars, looking at the sea, looking on at the various birds, creatures insects, flowers & plants etc but for some reason I still can't seem to connect to or feel God's presence. I also seek that feeling of opening & listening Qur'an & knowing this is for sure revelation from Allah, I don't know if I'm just telling or forcing myself out of fear, as I get intense anxiety in my head & chest when I try to read the Quran, I just don't want to be insincere in belief, as I just seek guidance in my life because I don't want to waste more years & lose forever in the hearafter for not being sincere & submissive in belief towards God, The Qur'an, The Holy Prophet(s.aw) & Ahlulbayt((عليه السلام)). I just really seek to live a fulfilling life in believing & serving God sincerely & actually live & die with firm faith in the heart but I fear God doesn't want to guide me or is He guiding & I'm I not accepting his guidance...I just don't know. Thank you for taking the time to read this post & God bless.

Beautiful.

Assalamu alaikum, I am a Shia revert, I have been Shia for years but a while back I lost my way and I met my now partner and we have a son together and also my older son sees him as his father. He was not Muslim at all but since I have started to find my way back to Allah subhana wa’tala, alhamdulillah, my partner has learnt a lot about Islam and I explained that I have to find my way back to the right path and unfortunately I will have to choose my faith over my relationship. After he learned some more about Islam he said he wanted to revert, like I had done, and I’m really happy and excited about this. He has reverted now and I know we have to get married - in an Islamic way - because I do not want to live in this disobedience of Allah subhana wa’tala and I want to show my two children how to be good Muslims. Sorry for the background information! I’ll get on to my actual question now: we live in a city that has no Shia mosques. I’m not joking. There’s like only a couple of mosques here and I’ve actually never been them because I was anxious, the Muslim community here is small and not many reverts and I have been looked down upon by the Muslim community here and really not accepted even when I was practicing and doing my best. We need to get married, I would like a permanent marriage because we were going to get married legally anyway before, we are already engaged in a western sense, but I don’t really care about that so much at the moment. But without a mosque to go to and without a sheikh, can we even get married?! Permanently and validly? I looked on Sistani’s website and I was confused. I was in a mutah marriage before with a man who really did introduce me properly to Islam, this was a long time ago now, and now I don’t even know if that was valid - we didn’t have witnesses. But I was told then that for mutah we didn’t need them. But for permanent marriage it’s my understanding we do? Do they need to be Muslim? My family is not Muslim. Do we need a religious leader like a sheikh to make a permanent marriage valid or not & to do the contracts…? I feel silly asking these things like I feel I should know it but anyway. I’m hoping someone can help me out. What does a couple do if there is no mosque or sheikh…? Like I said there’s a couple of mosques but they are not Shia. Can a permanent marriage & ceremony be done without this? And like I asked also for witnesses, can they be non-Muslim because my family is not Muslim and neither is my partner’s family. Thank you for reading and I hope I don’t sound really dumb and I hope I can get some clarity and we will be able to get married inshallah!

Assalamu alaykum everyone. I’ve heard that the book Then I was guided by Muhammad al-Tijani is a good book especially for reverts to the Ahlulbayt school of thought. Has anyone read it? If so what’s your opinions of it?

Salaam people are trying to push me away from Shia islam.they say I’m not Shia. Shia don’t accept me. The Malians doesn’t think I’m Shia.the sisters would hate me. I try to ignore what should I do?

For those who have watched it, what do you think of Jeffrey Lang's perspective on the purpose of life? Can we reconcile it with our hadiths where the purpose of life is to Know Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) in and then to subsequently Worship Him (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)? For those who haven't watched it, I recommend you watch it

Assalam Alaykum, my name is Basheera and I am a Shia woman. I was born into an incredibly strict Sunni family, but happily I converted a few years ago when I was 18. I had severe depression trying to figure out my identity and purpose of life until I found Shia Islam, and luckily now I am much healthier, mentally and physically. However though, I have a big problem. Please please read this whole thing before you comment and don't insult me because I've been seeking help for years, from imams (all Sunni though) and Muslim friends. This may be a bit long but I am seeking answers and help. While I am a Muslim, I am lgbt. I have known since I was 11, almost 12 years ago. I tried to stop it and told myself that I was only attracted to men, that this was a phase and I'd get over it, and I tried to force myself to look into husbands. I break down thinking about it and cry over my future. I have known for years and it wasn't a problem at first, but because now I am a practicing muslim I feel... fake? I'm not sure how to feel but I cannot stop my feelings. I know now, 12 years later, that it is not a phase and I cannot ignore it no matter how hard I try. People told me that I choose the way I feel, but wallahi I would never ever choose to feel like this. I worry about my future and if I truly am a Muslim. I talked to imams and read the Quran and many Hadiths regarding lgbt. The imams told me that lgbt muslims do exist, however they must hold back their feelings to stop themselves from committing haram, and in a way it is a form of Jihad. I understood that and I have done that for years, holding myself back and hiding in secret. As I said before I am a convert and a practicing muslim, I love islam but this problem has always been in the back of my mind and I don't think I can hold it back/ignore it anymore. My question is, does being lgbt automatically mean I'm not a muslim? Does it contradict Islam? (Wallahi I've been lgbt for many years and I swear on the Quran I would not feel this way if it was a choice. I hate it so much). Would I ever be accepted as a muslim by a Shia scholar? Am I haram? Even when I keep my feelings to myself? I am crying writing this, I have talked to many Sunni imams, but now that I'm Shia I want an answer from Shias. I hope nobody thinks ill of me or insults me, I am trying my best. Please someone help me and answer me, do I contradict Islam? Am I a fake muslim? Should I leave Islam (am I making Islam look bad)? Thank you so much for reading and please give your honest opinion, shukran.

Assalamualaikum brothers and sisters, I have a few questions regarding my name. I am a revert, and I have chosen a full new name. My chosen surname is Al-Noor. (BACKGROUND) I have read recently that I should keep my father’s surname. There are a few issues with this. The first is that he changed his own name before I was born. His new surname has no connection to his own background. The second is that he specifically changed his surname as a means of distancing himself from his own father. So I can’t just use what his original name was. The third issue is that the name I have chosen is not of my own heritage (Italian and Jewish), but neither is my father’s current surname. The fourth is that even without all of these issues, my father’s original surname explicitly denotes a Jewish priestly class, and I don’t think having such a name is proper for a Muslim. My parents are also displeased that I have chosen an Arabic first name. I always hated my birth name (especially as its short form is derived from a polytheist mythical figure) and I have created a new identity for myself upon reverting, which is embodied by my Islamic name. My father does not care if I change my surname, but he wants me to keep my first name. I have been living as my full Islamic name for years now. It’s the name on my diplomas and my publications in my field and the name everybody else calls me but my parents. I do not want to upset my parents, but I have my own life, religion, and identity now. I want to start my legal name change process soon in shaa Allah. It is too confusing to have a legal name and a completely different common name, especially when it comes to employment. My questions are: 1. Is “Al-Noor” a permissible surname, Islamically-speaking? It is a Name of Allah, but I know that “Noor” is a very common name for Muslims. Does the “al” prefix affect permissibility? 2. Is it permissible to change my surname to a name that has no connection with my father’s line nor ethnic heritage, given the circumstances? 3. How can I balance my parents’ wishes with my own identity? As my father’s new surname is actually a feminine first name nowadays, I was thinking about making it a second middle name as a gesture of respect while maintaining my Islamic full name. 4. Am I just thinking too far into this and finding problems where there are none? Thank you for reading this whole thing. Salawat

Hi I am a shia convert Alhamdulilah since the past 4 years and honestly it has been incredible at the same time it has been difficult aswell. I just wanted to know why is it so diffcult for shia community to take a revert and make him/her a part of their family and even takes them time to make him/her a part of their community. Especially seeing that a convert already faces the bigger challenge of going against their parents and entire family to believe but these difficulties I would suppose would dishearten several individual who would like to convert. Any comments on this?

Assalamoalaykom brothers and sisters! I'm talking to a fellow sister that is a revert from Christianity and she was confused about Shia and Sunni Islam. I thought about providing the Shia Encyclopedia on Al-Islam .org And while I appreciate its Shia and Sunni hadith evidence. But there is so much info, it might overwhelm a revert... So I would be grateful for any resources that could help her please! Jazakallah!

Assalamu alaykum. Doubt:If I order something to be send at my mother's house and I put the name that I choose after the Shahada,like the name that I choose Maryam with my surname(my surname on the id),is this mixing truth with falsehood?Cause it's not the same name in my id. Sorry for this stupid question... And again...if I present myself to someone...can I use my Muslim name or I have to present my self with the name on my id(identity card)? And is better to change the name on the id too and to put the Islamic name?And like Islamic name the changing of the name suffice or is intended the surname too? Sorry for the multiple questions...!

as salaam alakim!!!!!!!!!! Somebody in my community thinks I apostate and some say I did, they have no proof and this was an outrageous accusation!!! Some say I left because I didn't go to the masjid for a while, then I became Shia. They still accuse me to this day, Btw my community is mostly Salafi/Wahabbi/Brotherhood. I get slandered everywhere, the removed my from a marriage site that was Sunni for no reason. They treat me different and even ganged up on me with non Muslims, saying my prayers are bad(when I was salafi!),they even claimed I didn't know the shahadah!!!But these are mostly salafis and brotherhood. They were talking a bout when I was salafi but they hare me even more,and some one told them I was Shia, and they said it didn't matter!!!!! Mod Note: @Lion of Shia You have replies below.

Hi all, I posted on this site when I was pregnant with my son last year for advice. I fell pregnant to a Shia Muslim man and he decided he wanted nothing to do with me or his son because of his family circumstances (hes not married). His reasons for not wanting to see his son are because he did not want a child and his family would disown him if they found out. He also stated he did not want to be with me (after a 3 year relationship) which was all one sided and kept secret from his family. I posted on this site asking advice on whether to tell his parents or not. I decided not to tell his parents as I did not want him to be left without a home. I tried everything in my power to have him in my sons life. However, his decision was final. I accepted the fact that he did not want anything to do with us. He helps finanically and I appreciate this more than anyone will ever know. I finally reached out to his sister when my son was 7 weeks old. To my surprise she wanted to see us both and have a relationship with my son. She confirmed that his mother and father (father more so) would not allow their son back into their lives if they found out about me and my son. I finally told my sons father that I reached out to his sister and he is fine with that. However, he still does not want anything to do with my son. Sorry for the long post! I thought I would just give a little background information about my situation. I have thought about converting to Islam for a long time now. I have family who are Muslim who I do not have a relationship with due to personal family reasons and have always wondered about what my life would be like if I did see them and I was brought up in Islam. I would like to know more about Shia Islam and read books before I make my decision. So I guess I am looking for books, websites and any one in my area - London, who could kindly help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated Thank you

What are (have been) your biggest theological challenges as a Revert, or as a born again Muslim soon after your conversion? What are (have been) your biggest social challenges as a Revert, or as a born again Muslim all along?

[ADMIN NOTE]: This is a thread devoted to sharing stories and issues pertaining to all reverts to Islam, particularly Shia Islam. Allah bless you. Salam Alekum, I am writing an article regarding women reverts to Islam. The common belief amoung researchers is that the vast majority of revert women between 17 to 35 are married to non revert men (arab, persian, indo/pak, etc). So I would like as many revert sisters as possible to participate in order to get some good information regarding this subject. Please do not vote unless you are a revert to Islam, a women, (not born into a muslim family and currently identify your religion as Islam) and between the ages of 17 to 35. Some definitions. Non revert muslim man. A man who was born into a muslim family and currently identifies his religion as Islam revert muslim man. A man who was not born into a muslim family and currently identifies his religion as Islam.

Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu, Like many others here, I was born into a muslim family in a western country, however, in my teenage years I rebelled against islam and started taking into account different ideologies about life and what happens after we die such as studying buddhism and etc. I stopped praying and fasting and remembering Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and started to commit every major sin you can think of, I basically became a kafir (Istaghfarullah). As an 18 year old adult now, I am back into islam and my deen and taqwa has been the strongest in my life and it is growing stronger everyday. I have been praying all my voluntary prayers associated with the obligatory prayers and have been avoiding sin as best as I can, alhamdulillah. My question is, will all the sins I have committed in that period of from the age of 11-18 be wiped off as a clean slate? I am worried about this and I feel as if I should be praying Salat al-tawba on every sin I have committed in my life starting from puberty, which are too much to count, and remember. Jazakallah khair!

Alaikis Salaam Sister, Welcome to Shia Islam and Shiachat @Heavenly_Silk

Salam aleikum What are some good YouTube videos explaining the fundamentals of Islam whether conferences/lectures/sketches. Something with a bit more substance than just bullet points. This should be suitable for those new to Islam with little to no familiarity. Thanks.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/afd-islam-politician-arthur-wagner-conversion-germany-far-right-a8175896.html German politician quits far-right AfD party role after converting to Islam Party claims Islam is incompatible with the German constitution A politician from the far-right Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) party, known for its anti-Muslim rhetoric, has quit his leadership role and converted to Islam. Arthur Wagner stepped down from his post in the eastern Brandenburg state but remains a member of the party. AfD claims Islam is incompatible with the German constitution and wants a ban on minarets and the face-covering burqa. READ MORE Top primary school reverses hijab ban after major backlash It became the third-largest party in the country’s parliament after the general election last September. The party said it stood for the constitutional right of religious freedom, regardless of Mr Wagner’s conversion. Cont...

Assalamu alaikum, I converted to Islam from Protestant Christianity and I have practiced Islam since June 2001 as Allah as willed. I have typically considered myself as being a Sunni due to the sources of my Islamic knowledge and the Muslims ho I have associated with. I have long had an issue with the conflict between Ali and Muawiyah and have been troubled how I perceive Sunni Muslims as silently accept Muawiyah and Yazid as legitimate rulers and refuse any negative talk about them or their rule. I have read a few books that have given me an understanding on the Sunni-Shi'a split. These books are: 1) "Destiny Disrupted: A History of the World through Islamic Eyes" by Tamim Ansary, 2) "After the Prophet: The Epic Story of the Shia-Sunni Split in Islam" by Lesley Hazleton, and 3) "Nahjul-Balagha: Path of Eloquence" by Ali ibn Abu Talib and translated by Yasin T. al-Jibouri. As a result of reading these books, I believe that Ali was the rightful successor to Muhammad (saaws) and that his right to lead the Muslim Ummah was usurped by others from the very beginning.However, I also see that rather than rebel against the first three "elected" caliphs, Ali accepted their leadership albeit reluctantly, especially at the beginning. I see that Abu Bakr and Umar reasonably adhered to Islamic principles, but that the rule under Uthman became corrupted with gross nepotism and injustice under the influence of Marwan. I see that Ali was finally chosen as the fourth Caliph but that he was unjustly opposed by Aisha, Talha, Zubayr and Muawiyah who rebelled against him and they were responsible for Muslims shedding the blood of other Muslims. From what I know of the life of Ali and his son Husayn, I see strong consistency with my understanding of the Islam practiced by Muhammad while my perception of the lives and rule of Muawiyah and his son Yazid is the very antithesis of Islam and more representative of those rich Meccan rulers who opposed Muhammad (saaws). This is the essence of my present internal struggle. I know little about the Shi'a practice of Islam, but I see Ali as being a wealth of knowledge that is largely ignored in Sunni Islam. I am interested in learning more about the differences between Sunni and Shi'a so that I can make an informed decision as to whether I want to stay Sunni or become a Shi'a. I understand there is a difference between Sunni and Shi'a in the athan, 3 versus 5 daily salah, the mourning of Husayn's martyrdom, question of Ali's receiving secret knowledge from Muhammad as he was dying, temporary marriage, infallibility and inspiration of the 12 Imams, etc. I will appreciate open and honest discussions to help me in my decision.

Salam Alaykum, Please i hope as many sisters as possible read this and give me their opinion... your help is much appreciated ! I am a revert shia muslim sister and I am 25 years old. I have been married for less than one year to my husband and when i agreed to marry him I accepted to live with his family : his mother who is a housewife and she is divorced, his 16 yo sister, his two brothers of which one is mentally disable. One of his brother is married and was meant to move out soon but he didn't yet so atm I wear my hijab every day when he is at home. Even if I get along very well with his mum and family, I find it now too hard to live with this arrangement. as i feel i don't have much personal space and sometimes enough privacy or enough quiet ; can't always do my own things, cooking or cleaning expecially their mum is housewife so she is the one who mostly looks after them and manages the house . Also, i am not used to live with a disable person (down syndrome) and sometimes it gets difficult..and on top of that the fact that I still have to wear hijab around the house every day.. they also sometimes invite male friends and it makes me feel ubcomfortable and of course i cant mix so i have to stay the whole time in my room I get very frustrated and I am often sad . Sometimes I feel like I need a break but I can't even go anywhere as I am pretty much alone in this country and if i want to go stay at my parents I need to take a plane. What makes me feel much worse is the fact that my husband don't understand me ...instead he says i am always exagerating, making it much bigger than it is, blaming me for everything for my negativity for my feeling sad... He also constantly tells me that i m the lucky and privileged one to be with him and his family and that there are many girls who would live like me . I honestly don't believe any born muslim girl would have accepted to marry someone and live like I do ... we didn't even have a wedding...my mahr was low .. i married him purely because i wanted to be with him.. I tried to accept it, but now this has become too much and the fact that he doesnt understand me just makes it impossible for me to go on like this Please sisters tell me honestly ?Would you ever accept to be living like i do?

Salaam, I was wondering if I could use a small rock from outside as a turbah or if there is anything else I would be able to use. I'm not sure where to buy one in stores around me and I can't buy one online as my parents will find out (they don't accept Islam and would punish me if they knew). Please let me know, thank you!