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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Salam Dear Brothers and Sisters, This will be my first post on ShiaChat...IA I will be more active here in the future, Ok...So I have come to the conclusion that I am ready for marriage, To indeed confirm my readiness - I read: Selecting a Spouse: The Heavenly Path. It was a good read and It discussed many aspects of relationships, However I face a few obstacles that the book did not discuss-I was hoping some scholars here can help me with them: Obstacle #1) My parents are currently in the worst state of their marriage ever. You name it - it happened: police, physical & verbal fights, court, etc. Since about a few months ago third party interference has died down and now all that remains between them are angry phone calls. They do not live with each other - but they're still married. They are not in the mind set of finding someone for me - they are not even considering looking - nor do I have the heart to ask them to look for it would add to their emotional burden. Obstacle #2) Sexual Frustration: (Please stop reading now if you are not mature enough to handle this subject) I long for intimacy and gratification - this is not just a guy problem - recently its been escalating. I've done harram things which I will have to be punished for - either in this life or the next - and I need to continuously repent for my actions. In addition, because I'm a virgin I cannot undergo temporary marriage. I follow Ayatullah Syed Ali Al-Husaini Seestani. (I've done some things recently that have eased the sexual tension, i.e. exercise. I read about exercise as a form of relief somewhere on this forum and it works.) Obstacle #3) (women will understand this one more than the men) Physical attraction - although it may be verbally disregarded in dialogue about marriage - people see it as something someone should not exclusively look for in a spouse - true but it is nonetheless there - acting as an unconscious gravity. I know that if I want to get a spouse who takes care of his body - I should in turn take care of mine. The obstacle here is my weight, in my mothers paraphrased words: you need to lose weight before you can get engaged. So I've concluded she's right - it hurts - but she's right. She also has mentioned I need to grow my hair. Although there is nothing scholars can say about this issue - I still feel compelled to share it. I'm currently reading more books to increase my readiness: From Marriage to Parenthood: The Heavenly Path, Islamic Laws According to the Fatawa of Seestani, etc. Questions for Scholars: What can I do to find a spouse? Where can I start looking? What services are available for me on this site? On another recommend site? How can I ask Allah for a spouse? I feel ashamed to this - I'm not sure why. All mature comments and questions are welcomed. Was'Salam
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