Salaam Alaykum all, may this message find you well.
I am a Shia female that belongs to a very respectful family alhamdullilah. However during my journey at University I came across a Sunni male. We want to get married.
We are aware of the challenges this may pose and have in fact spoken about it before because we do not want any problems to arise after marriage especially with our kids. It will take a lot of compromises though but most aspects of Shiaism are not a problem for him.
As you have figured from the title, I have already approached my parents and all I have received is a no. I was expecting this, however I do think persistence may pay off. Do not get me wrong, I do not want to engage in anything haram nor do I want to compromise with my Aqidah. I have discussed with the man I wish to marry that I strongly believe Ali should have come first and I have immense love for the ahlulbayt. my parents do not see it that way and are afraid of what the community will think and think my faith will fade and I will divert to the wrong path. I do not want to make my parents unhappy or do the wrong thing but I am willing to learn about both sides for my own sake so that my faith is not merely inherited. Although from what I do know I am convinced I am on the right path but I do acknowledge that we are all muslims at the end of the day and the ummah really needs to unite at this point in time.
Also, when my father refused I asked for him to do an Istikhara for my own reassurance and he refused because as my wali he does not accept the person I wish to marry. Is it true that the wali is the one that should take an istikhara or can I do it myself? Also, do you think I should?
Finally, I am an Agha Sistani follower who says that if there's a chance of being misled, marrying a Sunni is not permissible. However as I mentioned earlier most things we can agree to and I will continuously be practising my Shia faith.
In conclusion I would like some advice on how to approach my parents and get the to agree. Also if you are aware of the ways and ruling on istikhara. Please let me know.
Thank you
Jazakallah