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  1. Assalamualaikum. Ya Ali (عليه السلام) Madad. I hope this message finds you well. I would like to share a deeply personal experience that I have undergone, seeking clarity and guidance from an Islamic perspective. About five years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting a remarkable girl online. She is a zakira, devoted to reciting majalis throughout the year. We developed a strong connection over time, nurturing our relationship despite the physical distance between us. We've met sometimes tho. Unfortunately, our journey together took an unexpected turn when faced with a challenging situation. Before delving into this, allow me to provide some context. I have an elder sister who remains unmarried. The girl I was in love with and I aspired to marry one another. However, I held the belief that my sister's marriage should take precedence, delaying our own plans until she found a suitable partner. Despite our sincere intentions, we struggled to find a suitable match for my sister, leading to a prolonged wait. As time went on, the girl I cared for started receiving marriage proposals from other suitors. She expressed her concern to me, emphasizing the urgency of addressing our own relationship's future. She insisted that I approach my family about our desire to marry, or she would have no choice but to consider other proposals. Taking her words to heart, I initiated a conversation with my mother about our intentions. It is important to note that my father had passed away a few years prior, leaving me with the responsibility of communicating our intentions to my mother alone. To my dismay, my mother's initial response was one of rejection and unwarranted criticism against the girl's character. This reaction deeply pained me. This was the first instance I had witnessed such behavior from my mother, as she had always been kind and understanding. I found it difficult to reconcile the fact that the person I held in high regard could harbor such prejudice against someone I deeply loved. I embarked on a mission to convince my mother, invoking the significance of compassion and fairness emphasized in Islamic teachings. I reminded her that hasty judgments and character defamation were strictly prohibited, especially without sufficient knowledge about the person in question. I beseeched my mother to consider the qualities of the girl I loved, and to view our relationship with an open heart. I implored her to evaluate the situation fairly, placing trust in the values she had instilled in me over the years. The ensuing weeks were challenging as I balanced my deep affection for the girl I loved and my commitment to respect and honor my mother's wishes. Eventually, the emotional strain led to a point where my mother urged me to leave the house, coupled with the threat of being disinherited. In that moment of despair, I confided in my sister, who assured me that she would manage the situation and find a solution. Trusting her, I shared the girl's contact details with my sister, who took the initiative to speak with her father. Tragically, my sister's actions were contrary to what I had hoped for. She approached the girl's father and persuaded him to distance his daughter from me. This revelation shattered me completely, leaving me in a state of emotional turmoil. I felt utterly isolated, with thoughts of suicide clouding my mind as I believed I had lost everything dear to me. In the aftermath of these events, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions and a deep sense of loss. The girl I had envisioned a future with was now united with another, my relationship with my mother and sister had suffered irreparable damage, and the trust I once held for my loved ones was shattered. For the past two years, I have tried to mend the broken ties with my mother and sister. While some semblance of normalcy has returned to our interactions, it is undeniable that the dynamics have forever changed. Their actions have left scars that continue to affect our relationship, leaving me feeling conflicted about the love and respect I once held for them. Their insistence that I seek forgiveness for a transgression I fail to comprehend only deepens my internal struggle. As I reflect on my journey, one question remains at the forefront of my mind: What guidance does Islam provide for individuals facing such intricate and emotionally charged situations? I yearn for clarity on how to navigate this turmoil in a way that aligns with my faith. My earnest aspiration is to eventually establish financial stability, enabling me to make the difficult choice of parting ways with my family and seeking a life of my own. I am genuinely appreciative of any insights or wisdom you might be able to offer, grounded in Islamic teachings and values. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for considering my plea for guidance.
  2. Hi, I'd like some advice on a topic that is concerning me a lot currently. I've met a man, he is pakistani (shia) and I am Iranian (shia). When we first met I brought up the differences in our culture/ethnicity and he let me know that his family would be fine with it as long as I'm a good muslim. Now he has told his parents and his mother has made a full 180 and is refusing to meet with me because I'm not Pakistani. This has given me a lot of grief as I can't do anything about it, I feel like I've not been given a chance. His father and sister are talking to the mother trying to convince her to at least see me in person, and he is going to do so also, but I am getting a feeling that it might be a challenge. Is there any way to get support in this? Islamically there is nothing wrong with us getting married, it's just cultural divides, and it would be great to hear from someone with similar problems.... Thank you.
  3. I heard things from people that women don't like me, that ill never get married, and Some even said Shia girls said things about me to( although I will have to investigate these allegations as required by Islam!), any way they said some Shia women saw my brothers and said they were hot and looked better then me!! I had bad experience with non Muslim women before I reverted and when I was Sunni, even though I didn't persue them!! They keep making a mockery out f me for no reason!! I was told by my gradfather that I was cute like a girl, but these kafir women and fasiq women keep being mean and cruel to me for no- reason!! What have I done, will Shia women hate me too?
  4. Bismillah Salaam Unfortunately, my family is in a sort of turmoil like state, due to parental issues, and "grand-parental" issues... As the middle child and the first son, bearing the burden of studies and social life is already very painful. With the addition of dealing with the psychological pain caused by family issues, life has become indeed very much painful for me. Due to having a lot of empathy, I often hurt a lot due to parental issues and issues of siblings... Sometimes it gets out of hand, and I utter something unpleasant in front of them, even if it is the truth, as I my mind wants someone to listen to me so they can stop being part of the problem. This is exactly what happened very recently, and it has caused great pain to my parents and to me as well, to the point from which there may be no return. I have turned to Allah for help, and to the Prophet SAWW and his progeny AS. I have prayed quite a bit for swift betterment, and am now in search of a Dua that can help resolve such family issues. Therefore I am here to ask you all, if you know any Dua for the resolution of family issues, as I am in dire need for one. JazakAllah. TLDR; I need a Dua to solve family issues urgently. JazakAllah. W. Salaam
  5. اسلام علیکم brothers and sisters how are you all? Ok, so straight to the point, I'm really afraid to get married because i think i might not be able to raise my children well because my job is not at one place I'm moving all over the world all the time so i think i might not give enough time to my children and i might not raise them well and this thing is stopping me from getting married and I'm really worried about it. Any help will be appreciated. Thanks.
  6. I recently entered a university and I wanted to attend its functions I have previously attended school and college functions and I have always studied in co-education.I belong to a practicing shia family which is why hijab has always been a big part in my life.at all functions and events i have never taken off my hijab neither do I ever intend to do so but my mother has become so insecure ever since i entered university(even though I have never done anything wrong or immoral).She tells me to take a chaddar to the function and wants me to not go if possible.I am always over conscious of over doing thus even if I do get all dressed up I never stand out because you know how girls are now a days being over dressed and flashy but my mom is getting angry and keeps telling me that I don't listen to her anymore and I don't follow hijab and my body shape is showing she expects me to wrap a blanket around me and then go out. The university I am in is known for it's really out of limits rules and discipline but since it is the only well known art college in Pakistan I could not miss the opportunity but I am really getting tired of my mom's insecurity and over the top demands that I am unable to fulfill considering the surrounding that I am living in.I realize that she might be right in an Islamic point of view but that makes me hate Islam in a certain way I also want to enjoy my university life and have fun like everyone else but the way my mom is imposing hijab onto me is just pushing me further away from Islam and making me feel trapped and bound. "Islam is suffocating" says the heart as I try reasoning with it day and night trying to have fun and still not cross the islamic limits.... :/
  7. As salmun alaikum. I'm a boy. I'm a sinner. All this year 2015-16 till date i have done sins. My situation is that I live in the same building of my girlfriend. My room is on the top floor while she lives on the first floor. Usually I dont stay at my room and live with her in her room. She is not my mahram. He have shifted around sept 2015. I have also done zina. Recently a problem occured. Our pics got leaked on social sites. This disturbed me a lot. I can't just stay without her. I'm a type of addicted to live with her. I have also tried separating but all went in vain. I know that by living together I am making my place in hell but I can't just stop it. Please provide some ways to correct myself and to get on the straight path (sirat-e-mustakim) and repent on the wrong doings. Thanks in advance
  8. Salam Alikom, I have a question regarding marriage, i am at the age of 24 i have finished Medical school and i would like to get married however i am facing one big problem, back when i was 18 me and my mother got into an argument, regarding house chores because i didn't do them the way she wanted. We had argued and yelled at each other, since that day i have always been going to her and asking her for forgiveness, doing whatever i have in my hands but all she says "My son died to me", I have not given up trying to ask for forgiveness since that day and i always pray day and night hoping maybe she would forgive me, i tried to talk to her about wanting to get married and she said "Go my son died". I would like to get married now i finished University with the money i had left i bought an Apartment and i've gotten to know a Girl my age who has also finished University with me and i want to marry her but my only problem is that i can't ask my parents for their blessing. Could you please advice me on what to do? *Please Keep in mind that my Father doesn't want to talk to me because my mother doesn't talk to me.
  9. So how do I start this, there are so many unislamic activities going on in our surroundings which is so frustrating and sometimes hurting. Human feelings and emotions are of least importance to us. We don't know that people might get hurt by our actions. We are so judgemental. We blame and accuse without any proof. Problem no: 1 Something which I feel is common in every household in Pakistan is the issue of marriage of their kids. Or most importantly their daughters. I have encountered this problem almost in every household. I don't know what basically are the mothers of our potential husbands to be are looking for??? Do they want beauty, money, maturity, good obedient daughters in law etc etc?? I mean they come to our houses to stare at us and treat us like mere objects. Then make us pour tea and what not. Why?? Examples: 1. My sister's friend has an elder sister who is 25. She is beautiful and intelligent. Perfect marriage material. An orphan. She is rejected time and again by mothers of the potential suitors because she has no father. Is that really a reason?? What happened to what Islam teaches us regarding this?? 2. My friend who is 27. She is extremely beautiful and a great cook. Also has an MPhil degree. She is also suffering the same fate. But she has a father. I don't know what people say now?? Maybe age is a problem now. 3. Another girl I know of, she is 26. Alhamdullilah she is married now. She fell into a deep depression due to these unethical activities. Her parents were so worried for her. She had everything. Beauty, education and money. I don't know if people are aware of this but they are causing severe pain in the society. I will highlight other extreme problems in our society later on in this thread. Jazakallah Khair
  10. So, some of you might remember, most of you won't, I once created a thread for exam revision and this, well, is just the sequel to that. I'll just copy the OP from there: Last time, there wasn't much of people asking questions but, just to stimulate the thread, I was asking random questions from different subjects. BUT, the response wasn't that good so it was like I was taking time to make questions but no one, except one or two, even tried answering so, unless someone asks, I won't do it this time.
  11. (bismillah) In The Name of Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful. (salam) I hope you all are in the best of health and, most importantly, in the best of Imaan. I have noticed that most of us are writing our examinations in this period and I thought if you all come to Shiachat, even during this time, then why not use Shiachat to do a bit of revision and help us rather than "just for fun". I know, its most probably, not the "coolest" idea because most of you might come to Shiachat to "let some steam off" after studying the whole day and, so, it would be torture if you even have to revise here but, still, I believe it can be helpful for you. Plus, if you are responsible enough to be studying, then there is no need for you to join and you can just "let off your steam" on Shiachat without getting involved in the academic work. :D So, on this thread, we (Shiachat members) can ask the other members to help us revise any topic on any subject or to help us solve problems that you are finding extremely hard to do on your own. You can ask anything on any subject ranging from the science and mathematics to languages and humanities! As the cliche says, "anything goes"! :D NOTE: this thread should not be used for asking others for help in doing your homeworks if your teacher does not allow you to take help from others. I, or the other members, can't know whether what you have posted is a homework or not so we will answer you but you should remember that this is a breach of the rules - both your teachers' and this thread's. So, since I can't regulate as to what you put is homework or not, I will leave it on your "moral deterrent" to stop you from doing the wrong thing. May Allah (SWT) bless us all, our families and loved ones, guide us all to The Straight Path with His Perfect Guidance and may He, The Forgiver of Sins and The Oft-Forgiving, forgive all our sins for, indeed, there is neither any refuge nor any respite for the sinners except in Allah (SWT) .
  12. Salam Brothers and Sisters, To start off this is a serious topic and I don`t want this topic to become a burden upon me. Over time I started realizing that Muslims have a tendency to turn a blind eye to topics, such as being gay etc and how its not okay or natural and why. Instead of teaching kids how to deal with it we only tell them its wrong. We think that kids aren't involved in these problems so we have a tendency not to mention it. IN SHORT HELP KIDS WHO ARE FACING WITH PROBLEMS TELLING THEM THAT IT'S JUST BAD ISN'T GOING TO HELP THAT MUCH. Personally i think the theory that "we should turn a blind eye to problems" is wrong. We should give kids the skills to counteract the Western ideology. The Main point of starting this is that we can take action. That we can change even 1 person's life, that we can respectful bring this up with our mosques. So that our mosque is firm when Imam Mahdi (aj) comes out. However, we need to work on ourselves before we work on others. Please leave your opinions about this, and problems that your community is dealing with. Also leave ideas of how we can solve these problems and if your mosque already dealt with this problem tell us what the solution was so we can all benefit. If I have offended anyone please forgive me. Duas Salam
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