Salam all,
I'm a young woman that has been getting proposals for a while. Most of them have been my cousins, so I rejected them because I don't want to marry them. However, there is someone I'm talking to right now; we click very well conversationally and are compatible on many aspects. However, I met him in person after talking online for a while and got a very bodily response that said 'no', I'm not attracted to him at all. I mean he's not ugly by any means, but no, I'm not attracted to him at all. He likes me quite a lot, prays 5x a day, and has good qualities about him. However, I also do not like his voice, and this may be impacted by the manner in which he talks/the kinds of jokes he makes. He makes jokes about how people look (as I've known a lot of young men to do), and he said he never means any of them. However, the kind of person I want to marry would never make those kinds of jokes at the expense of people. He also feels very emotionally flat/1 dimensional to me and although we clicked well in the beginning, I'm beginning to really not want to talk to him. It doesn't help that my friends don't like him for me either (2 of them met him). He is a good guy on paper, has a good job, generous (gives money to the homeless when he can), loves and wants kids, and all that. However, he's far too immature (comes across as my age even though he's a number of years older). One of the biggest qualities I'm realizing I want in a spouse is wisdom, but is this even something that is able to be found in a spouse? Or do I just have to amrry someone and hope that one day they'll grow to be wise and spiritual. I am just really getting a body intuition that I don't want to marry him because I feel like I'm settling. I've also known my intuition to be wrong in the past, so there's that. My parents think that if their background checking goes well, there is no reason I shouldn't marry him. To them, these reasons I'm mentioning are stupid/baseless. But I really just am not feeling that into him at all, and I don't want to marry him because I think I will eventually meet someone that I am both compatible with and attracted to. Let me know your thoughts and what of your experiences is informing you.