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(salam) There have been many beneficial discussions and threads on the importance of religiosity (Imaan and Piety) and Akhlaq as being the two most important characteristics that an individual seeking to get married should look for in a potential spouse. However sometimes there has been little attention/analysis given to the significance of 'Physical attractiveness' between the potential spouses. According to the 35 years experienced therapist who have written an article on this subject, on http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/magnetic-partners/201311/the-role-physical-attraction-in-your-relationship , Physical attractiveness is vital in a successful marriage life. In the article he talks about how even though some couples that came to him for help, loved and respected their partner because of their good characteristics, yet the lack of 'physical attraction' was what led their marriage to failure and thus came to seek his help. Here are some of his important quotes: - In nearly 35 years of practicing couple’s therapy I’ve never seen a partner “get it” when they “never had it” to begin with, (referring to physical attraction). - I’ve seen a few who “had some” and “grew more,” but even those that were attracted to non-physical aspects of their partners (such as intellect) couldn’t seem to harvest a physical attraction. In this sense, you either have it from the beginning or… - None of the partners that lost desire disliked their mates. All felt guilty about their behaviour and expressed empathy for their partners. Also some viewers have commented at the bottom of the article about how they also suffer or did suffer from this problem. I went on al-islam.org and found this book on marriage by Sayed Athar Hussain H.S Rizvi, http://www.al-islam.org/islamic-marriage-syed-athar-husain-sh-rizvi, there which I found a hadith by the Prophet (P) which says, “When one intends to marry a woman, he should ask about her hair, just as he asks about her face (beauty), since the hair is one of the two beauties (of women).” Thus encouraging the importance of physical attraction when looking for a potential life partner. Consequently those that advice young people saying that physical attraction is not important, or it fades away, are not quite right. Nonetheless this does not goes to say that one should go looking for the most attractive spouse they can find and sacrifice other more important traits, but rather one should consider the chemistry when choosing a potential spouse. I'd like to see the opinions of specially our married brothers and sisters on this forum.

Salaam. I am currently nineteen and still living at home in Australia. I want to know what Islam says about verbal, physical and emotional abuse. Although I only live at home with my patents and sisters I have the odd bunch of physically and verbally abusive brothers; who won't hesitate to use my past against me or call me humiliating names. Just recently I was cornered by one of them and close to being pounded with a metal pole for saying I had enough and wanted to move out. My parents are old and cannot take responsibility for ANYTHING so they leave it up to my brothers and a particular older sister who thinks she's a saint. I'm honestly sick of the abuse and feeling threatened; is it wrong to report my brother? I know doing this would cause alot of trouble at home but ive become so depressed and lifeless. Anyone's help/opinion would be so appreciated. Salaam x