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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Aoa, This isn't me asking for advice. This isn't me asking to be told what's right and what's wrong (although that won't stop a good number from letting me know what I already know) This is more like me asking for anyone who can remember me in their prayers, for ease in mine and his heart, give both of us patience to bare this pain till we can get over it,some day. Please no one argue with anything, if you want to advise or give solutions you can, incase someone else in the future sees this post and it helps them. But please, be a bit kind and don't say things that would increase the pain in someone's life. I am in love with someone whom I can't marry. And he is in love with someone who can't marry him. My parents had made it clear that they want to marry me off to a Syed Shia guy, then someone good and I have an understanding with but who also has a certain (financially and standard) family background, etc. But the biggest problem is the first point I raised. He is neither. He is a very logical person and according to his own research, despite none of his parents even being part of one sect, he does not believe in sects. That's fine, and it's great because his own journey has bought him to love the ahlelbayt on his own (the great members of the household who came under the cloak with Rasulallah SAW). However he still looks up to the first 2 caliphs, especially the second one, believing that certain events are made up in much later centuries to cause a drift between the Muslims. To be honest, if someone with good knowledge, and strong historical references, who could have an actual conclusive debate with him, and counter all his arguments in a smooth and conclusive manner, if he had or has in the future someone like that, he would be more than happy to accept the truth and follow it. He's had a rough childhood, and still has a bit rough life, and he's learned to live and be flexible according to it. And one of the things he's learned is to never think you've become the teacher. Always believe in being the student. Many of you will try to say, well if he's such a good researcher why hasn't he reached the truth already? Because, everyone has their own journey, and Ive tried my the best to be the person I described above (someone who could give conclusive answers) but I failed. Anyways, even for myself I know I can't marry someone I might have to convince of beliefs that are basic to me, and I can't marry someone who won't be reassured of their beliefs of people they look up to by me. It's just cruel to each other. If we put just religion according to the Quran and Hadith and daily life on the table, since he really loves the Ahlulbayt as well, it's totally fine. If we come to the topic of sensibility, maturity, security, respect, logical and reasonable thinking, understanding, guiding, caring, recognizing things like roles of people especially men (for himself) in the society and in a marriage, having similar perspectives and understanding of the world and its affairs, the afterlife and it's affairs, you get the gist, we're really compatible in that department. And you can compromise alot of departments when you think about being with some one for the rest of your lives, but this above mentioned department, which is detrimental to how you both work together in your daily lives, for the rest of your life, this is something you need to be on the same page. And it's crazy how much we are. It's crazy that this isn't the only department we're really amazing together in. Nearly 90% of it without having lived together, and maybe we can bring that down to 60% if we did since people say you never know how you can't tolerate someone till you live with them, but that's alot more than alot of other people get. And who said that if it's 60% in the beginning it stays like that. But no matter how good we are together, in the end, it comes back in a circle to problem 1 and 2. One being my parents need for A Syed shia, and two being that he can never be a syed. Maybe I could convince my parents to let go of the family background stuff, because his father is a caring man who has never left his mother's side despite her developing severe OCD and other illnesses after his birth (he's an only child) and his mom is someone who's understanding, especially of the situation she is in and that if you have family by your side, unnecessary pressures by society don't matter. So who cares, rizk is given by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) anyways, as long as you have pure intentions and a good heart and you keep working hard. But I cant let my parents down. I had always told them, they will choose someone suitable for me, and then I will see if he really is compatible, that way if I say yes finally, my parents won't have any problems with the person. But it seems now, since I had the perfect plan to avoid heartbreak and also please my parents in one go, It was decided this will become my test in this life. It's so ironic, I was the one who told everyone else to never fall for anybody outside of marriage and that it's silly to think it can't be avoided. I became hard as a rock, unbreakable, unbendable. And now I'm experiencing a side to myself, a soft side Im scared I never would've even found if I hadn't met him. Yeah, I might have seen it come out for my husband, but it's not the same. Because with him it would be there knowing I'm secure to some extent, because I'd be in a marriage. This is, me feeling like this knowing nothing will come out of it in the end. and still not being able to hold my feelings back. I wish we all knew the truth. I wish the opinions on what REALLY happened weren't blended into many sects, like the jews and the Christians basic faith has been; the lies mixed with the truths, instead of black and white, a blurry Grey. I hope he starts believing he deserves to have someone in his life who would be interested in everythint he has to say, understand his jokes, would be at the same mental capacity, would get the day to day references to the DC and Marvel universe. These are obviously surface level things, I'm just saying from personal point of view, a marriage is obviously much more deeper; all I'm trying to say is he would get his person. Hope his parents don't marry him off to someone they think he'd be compatible with, because he wouldn't fight them, and they might not know him like this. I know, our parents want the best for us. There is a generation gap albeit in today's times, that's what I'm speaking about. Maybe I'm blabbering because my heart aches that that won't be me, or for me, that won't be him. Maybe we'll find someone a hundred times better for each of us. Who knows? But is it wrong to say, some people just become a part of you, for the rest of your life. Especially when they come into your life in the most unexpected time, from the most unexpected places, and give you the most unexpected experiences. Yes I'll love again, yes I'll continue to live, yes we both will. Yes I might have it all with someone else, and he might too. I know all of this. don't think I am ignorant to the truth of moving and living on. But, you don't get it till you're in it. And boy, am I in the middle of the very thing I would kill one of my friends if they were in. I hope no one goes through this. I pray no one goes through thinking they might have found their person and then proceed to live without them. Even if that sounds dramatic and dumb. It's how I'm feeling. But in the end, this person has also helped me fully give in to Allah's plans. To just have pure intentions towards my situations and trust the solving of problems to Allah. Just trust Him completely. "They plan and Allah Plans and Allah is the best of the Planners" Ya Al Razzaq, ease our hearts.
Salam everyone, my mum was just talking to be about surat al ahzab, she said that it’s a very important surah for when you’re praying for something to happen. ( in my case, waiting for my dad to expect someone that is a different nationality who I want to marry) Can someone explain this further? And attach a complete surah so I can print it out? thank you in advance, if you don’t have the answer can you please tag someone that does
Bismillah Salaam Unfortunately, my family is in a sort of turmoil like state, due to parental issues, and "grand-parental" issues... As the middle child and the first son, bearing the burden of studies and social life is already very painful. With the addition of dealing with the psychological pain caused by family issues, life has become indeed very much painful for me. Due to having a lot of empathy, I often hurt a lot due to parental issues and issues of siblings... Sometimes it gets out of hand, and I utter something unpleasant in front of them, even if it is the truth, as I my mind wants someone to listen to me so they can stop being part of the problem. This is exactly what happened very recently, and it has caused great pain to my parents and to me as well, to the point from which there may be no return. I have turned to Allah for help, and to the Prophet SAWW and his progeny AS. I have prayed quite a bit for swift betterment, and am now in search of a Dua that can help resolve such family issues. Therefore I am here to ask you all, if you know any Dua for the resolution of family issues, as I am in dire need for one. JazakAllah. TLDR; I need a Dua to solve family issues urgently. JazakAllah. W. Salaam
Some people tend to argue that eternal inflation could have been the cause of the universe, Why must it necessitate that the cause of the universe be a personal being. How does agent causation prove that the cause of the Universe is conscious. What do people mean when they say that the only two possible things which could have caused the universe are, an abstract object or an unembodied mind.
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