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Found 37 results

  1. Al salamu aleikum brothers and sisters, I am male, 19 and live in a western country. Ever since I have become 16 my family father and my grandmother started to try to get me married. Now it hit a new level tho. My family threatened to not let me go to university if I don't get married. I can understand that they are worried about me and that they just want to protect me from sinning, which is a reasonable thing to do. Especially in a western society where all the women are half naked etc. But my problem is that I personally don't feel like I am in a position to marry. I suffer from depression and have been involuntarly hospitalized in the past. But my parents act like it never happened. I also suffer from social anxiety, low self esteem and I also have trust issues. Also I'm not happy with my current life situation and want to make big changes before I consider marriage. (like working out, improving my mental health, earning money and start studying ) But my parents are very stubborn or strict about it. Also it feels kind wierd to just ask for the hand of someone you don't really know. Especially in western society. And yes I do sometimes feel lonely or get certain urges but I have learned to suppress them. Its not about me being against the concept of marriage but rather me not feeling ready for it. I have tried to make this clearer to my parents but to them it's just some random excuse. Can anyone help me with this situation. Anyone have an idea of what to do or to say to my parents. Am I even in the right or should I just oblige to my parents will? I'm really not sure what to do anymore. Thanks in advance <3
  2. Assalamu alaykum. I thinked I'm doing wrong... What if your mother make witchcraft and your father go to prostitute?I want know.Have I/Can I say something to them? And if my father never take care of me and he treat me lik
  3. Assalamu alaykum. A Muslim/Muslimah can denouce to police a parent(his/her mother) for domestic violence(psychological violence) and violence on pets too(violence toward kittens anc cats in general). The mother is a non Muslim and she practice witchcraft.
  4. Salam. I’m being forced to have a haram walima. The walima will not be partitioned or segregated and this is a obviously a big issue. I’m the groom and I’m feeling trapped. On the one hand, the right thing to do is not attend but on the other hand I will be cutting off my parents and obviously any family we’ve invited. My wife is on my side obviously but she has decided to be quiet now as she does not want anymore issues. I got into a fight with my parents over this and here I am on the night of qadr feeling like none of my amaal mean anything because I’m upset with them. I’m trying very hard to forgive them but how can I when I’m being forced into a haram situation. It would be one thing if they did something in the past but this is something they’re planning to do. The whole idea of segregating by gender is so “strange” to them since all Pakistani weddings are usually mixed. It’s also about saving face for all the guests. I feel I can’t do anything. How do I cope? Will I be liable on the day of judgment for being part of this? Do I continue to fight this or shut up so my family can have “peace”? I wish I had access to a maulana for this issue but I have to resort to this forum.
  5. Hello, I just want to give a brief background on my past situation and then my current situation. Can you please help me by telling me the truth backed with sources if it is halal for me to do this? Thank you I was proposed to by a man (he is Shia) who I know to be extremely respectful, hard-working and kind (which is very hard to find in general and especially in our society to be honest). However, my family prevented and forbade me from marrying him for one reason only- and that is his nationality. In our country, nationality is as important as the sect (due to culture/traditions etc.) and I had too much respect for my parents to disobey them and I know in Islam disobedience to parents is haram. I also didn't have the heart to hurt my mother even though I have never wanted anything as badly as to get married to that specific person. Please note that I did not do anything haram with this man. I became very depressed as I am already in my very late 20's and it was my first time actually wanting to get married. The same night I cried and did ziyaraat ashura for 40 nights because I wanted God to let us be together. I found out months later that there was a very high chance he will be able to get the same nationality as I have but it will take around 3-5 years. It has been two and a half years since he proposed and we are still good friends and it is very obvious that he has the same intentions. I know you might think its easy to find someone else but I don't want to get married just for the sake of getting married. I want someone who understands me on an intellectual basis, respects me, motivates me to work harder, is not an angry person etc. and he has all those qualities. Is it possible to engage in some sort of mut'aa marriage even though I don't want to have sex (I only would do that if its a permanant marriage). i just want to feel like I am with my partner (hold hands, kiss etc.). We have every intention of getting married when he gets his nationality but the wait is just very frustrating. I feel like my whole life is on hold over a very stupid condition from my parents. I have decided that even if they do not allow me to get married when he gets his nationality- I will still get married as I believe it is something they will be able to tolerate long term. But for now I feel very frustrated that I can't marry him due to something so small and I don't want to lose him as he is the most respectful person I have ever met. Please can you help guide me if I am doing something wrong or have parental advice on how to handle this situation?
  6. Is it haram to cut off ties with your parents but still help them economically? Ever since I were younger my parents always used to beat me. Whether I did something wrong or just annoyed them. My parents always yells or hits me and iam 16 years old. I’ve read some Hadiths about it, but I really don’t know what to do! I want to cut off my ties with them when I turn in the 20’s or so. I will buy them a house and send money to them. But I won’t talk to them. What should I do? please help me
  7. I am a shia girl and I have been very close to a sunni man for about 4 years now. We share an amazing bond together. He’s everything I have ever wanted in a husband. But I’m an Indian and he’s a pakistani and also he’s sunni and I’m shia which is the biggest issue here when it comes to our marriage. His family has agreed for this proposal and in my family everybody agrees but we are too afraid to inform my father as he disaproves marriages of such kind. If anyone can please help me out to give me a dua that can melt My father’s heart for this proposal. I’ll be very thankful to you and will always remember you in prayers. thank you
  8. My fourth child is my first picky eater, alhamdulilla, and even he isn't all that picky. He refuses to eat any meat at all, no beef, no lamb, no goat, no chicken, no turkey. Occasionally he will eat a few fish sticks, but it's not his favorite. He also doesn't eat eggs, beans, or nuts. He does eat almost any vegetable, fruit, rice, pasta, or bread, and he likes peanut butter and yogurt and cheese. But you know mothers - I'm concerned about his nutrition, especially since he's only in the tenth percentile for height. He's not overweight or underweight. So first, does anyone have suggestions for how to get iron and protein into this child? Second, I've given him children's nutritional shakes, but most of these seem to be targeted more toward weight gain than nutrition, and they're all really expensive. Would it be safe to give him smaller amounts of adult vitamin beverages? The adult versions seem to target nutrition, not calories. He won't take chewable children's multivitamins. He doesn't like the taste. Finally, any other suggestions? Thanks.
  9. Assalamualikum everyone, I'm a shia in taqyah and my parents especially my mother is a shiahater "on the way of becoming a nasibi". I have read before about a dua by imam jafar al sadiq as about a duaa for nasibi parents so that may Allah would guide them to the truth, so is there a duaa like that? Oh and i desperately need everyone's prayers cause the pressure on me because of her doubts that i'm a shia is unbearable. Pray for me to have strength and patience.
  10. Salaam Alaykum all, may this message find you well. I am a Shia female that belongs to a very respectful family alhamdullilah. However during my journey at University I came across a Sunni male. We want to get married. We are aware of the challenges this may pose and have in fact spoken about it before because we do not want any problems to arise after marriage especially with our kids. It will take a lot of compromises though but most aspects of Shiaism are not a problem for him. As you have figured from the title, I have already approached my parents and all I have received is a no. I was expecting this, however I do think persistence may pay off. Do not get me wrong, I do not want to engage in anything haram nor do I want to compromise with my Aqidah. I have discussed with the man I wish to marry that I strongly believe Ali should have come first and I have immense love for the ahlulbayt. my parents do not see it that way and are afraid of what the community will think and think my faith will fade and I will divert to the wrong path. I do not want to make my parents unhappy or do the wrong thing but I am willing to learn about both sides for my own sake so that my faith is not merely inherited. Although from what I do know I am convinced I am on the right path but I do acknowledge that we are all muslims at the end of the day and the ummah really needs to unite at this point in time. Also, when my father refused I asked for him to do an Istikhara for my own reassurance and he refused because as my wali he does not accept the person I wish to marry. Is it true that the wali is the one that should take an istikhara or can I do it myself? Also, do you think I should? Finally, I am an Agha Sistani follower who says that if there's a chance of being misled, marrying a Sunni is not permissible. However as I mentioned earlier most things we can agree to and I will continuously be practising my Shia faith. In conclusion I would like some advice on how to approach my parents and get the to agree. Also if you are aware of the ways and ruling on istikhara. Please let me know. Thank you Jazakallah
  11. Assalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters. I need some advice on a situation I'm currently. To give some background, I am a Sunni muslim and the girl I want to marry is a Shia Syed. Her parents are very traditional and want her to marry Shia man. We're both in love with each other, but she believes her family will never allow us to be together. I've told her I will become Shia and learn everything I need to. I'm not going to lie, I'm not the most religious person right now and I have a lot to learn before making a decision like this, but I am willing to dedicate myself and follow the faith accordingly. Even after telling her this, she is still doubtful that her parents will agree. I want to believe that doing that for her, and reasoning with her father how much I will love her and care for will be enough. But at the same time we both dont want to give each other false hope. I please ask brothers and sisters to give your advice and perspectives. I'm willing do everything to make it right for this girl and show her family I am the man for her. I know no one will love her like I do and I want to approach this the best way.
  12. Hi everyone, as advised by my mom that I also need to seek for opinions of some shia communities online, here I am. Long story short, I left home few months ago to get married with the person I love. He is not a muslim (I know) and we did the interfaith marriage legally, got things done and we're legally husband and wife. Though during this process my parents (muslims) came to know about this and my father converted my man and did mutah, it was one year in the contract. During the conversion though, my man told my father that he is doing this for my sake, so we are not sinning and my parents have peace of mind. My father said yes it is okay but he said he wants my man to keep on learning and find out about islam. He said yes, he will. The promise was that we can't have sex, so it's fine for both of us. We accepted it and the contract started. Few months forward I came home for Eid and before that I've been promised by my parents that they will let me go back to be with my man. With this promise in hand, I trusted them, i went back home. Few days I am home, I found out that my father took my passport and he has been telling me to leave my man, he is also told by my father that he needs to leave me. I was upset because I said we were in contract and it is not even broken, we did not have sex and he has been learning. But father said that in one of his convo with him he said that he is not yet being convinced by the presence of god, hence atheist, and dad said because he is mentioning this, our marriage contract is broken and it is invalid. To be honest I find this unfair. He never mentioned that there is something other than having sex will break the contract. I dont even know that and he doesnt know that either. But my father has been using this and say I can't go back with him because he broke the contract which I find unfair. Not just me, but he too thinks so. I asked him why did he say that, he said he didnt know that it was not allowed. he said he was just telling my father that he is not yet convinced and asked him questions about islam at the same time. I would like to know whether he is doing right thing or he is not? Is it right that my contract is broken because of that? We both have no idea and dont know that there is something that can break the contract other than what has been promised. My father too took my passport without my consent and I feel like I am being kept.. Please let me know what you think I need some help.
  13. parents agar needy hon to daughter jo job karti ho wo perent ki resposibilty la ya wo daughter jo married ho lakin job na karti ho wo la.kyon ka jo daughter job karti ha us ka mangator khata ha ka ma jab shadi karon ga jab tumaray sister responsibilty la is situation ma kiya hukum ha kiya married sister apnay husband as paisay la ya wo daughter jo job karti ha wo apnay money as parents ko da
  14. Hello guys, I'm an 18 year old Lebanese guy living in the USA. I'm probably the most religious and smartest one in the family. I'm not saying I wanna get married now but I would like to get married like 2 years before I finish college (around 21-22). My mom keeps saying no, I have to finish college first and start a career job. I think I can work a decent job while I finish my studies and get married. I feel like all Lebanese parents are like that. Anyone else deal with the same? Thoughts?
  15. Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem Salaam Alaykum dear brothers and sisters, Question: What is it like to live with either spouse's parents during the first 1-3 years of marriage? Let's say if you brought your spouse to live with your own parents, how does that affect the relationship in the short-term and long-term? I would appreciate any form of experience from any of you, as this is something I have been pondering over for a while. Wassalam.
  16. When a preschool age child asks why the parents divorced, what is the appropriate answer? I've heard that it's wrong to tell a child negative things about a parent because they will take it as a negative statement about themselves, but there's sometimes no way to answer that question honestly without making the non-custodial parent look like a louse.
  17. Salaam Everyone, I am a university student. I find myself in a situation with things conflicting and causing mental stress and troubles. I decided I should reach out to a religious community as it may help to shed some light on my situation. During my time at university, I joined and started participating in a student run association which holds duas such as dua tawassul and dua kumayl. After going to these events (which are held in classrooms at the university), I had a chance to socialize with the people present. Personally, as I have only lived in one country my whole life, I have not had many Shia friends at my place of education and so this was a very exciting opportunity for me. I thus met dozens of Shia people through this, added them on Facebook in order to communicate and became good friends with a few. One of these was a girl also studying in my program (a lower year). Initially, we discussed class and I helped her with her classes because she was a sister in need of help. I also thought of her as an amazing individual with very strong aqeedah and matching principles with mine. I felt as if it was someone I was meant to meet, to help and talk to. Eventually, through purely platonic chatter, this attraction strengthened as I found out more and more about what an amazing person she is. In fact, her influence inspired me to be a better person. As unfortunate as it is (may Allah forgive me) but previously I did not pray as nearly as much as I wished to (although I did whenever I could and attended majalis, etc often). After meeting her I now pray 5 times a day and sometimes extra whenever time allows. She has truly changed me for the better in this manner and I still feel she is an amazing individual. I also feel that she feels the same way about myself. We have not discussed anything in depth but there have been times where it has been obvious we both believe each other to be ideal for ourselves. Of course, too much interaction of this sort is considered haram and should not be done. Hence, we have tried to limit it (one of the conversations we had). However, this is not the major issue. I personally sincerely see a future for myself with her and think she is absolutely perfect in this sense. The problem is the following. She is of Khoja descent and her family is from Africa (obviously with an Indian background). My family is of Indian background with a Syed lineage. Time and time again my parents have mentioned when looking for individuals for my older siblings that an Indian Syed family is important to them. Obviously, this individual is not Syed and hence would not qualify for this one limitation. She is educated, religious, etc. But because of this one criteria, I do not think my parents would be very open to the idea. Personally, I never want to upset my parents and could not ever do anything without their permission and well wishes. I have not even mentioned anything about this girl to them and do not know what to do at this point. I decided I should contact an alim in order to see if they could give me some further insight on this issue. Thank you so much for reading this, JazakAllah. If I have said anything that may seem incredibly wrong, I apologize. I would also like to know what your thoughts are on the rulings of Syed's marrying Syed's. Why or why not is this crucial? Is this just cultural or Religious? I look forward to hearing from you soon.
  18. I wanted advice on a problem concerning marriage for my sister. To sum it up, My sister met a muslim convert in the united states, and they want to get married. My father approves, but mother doesn't. She mostly does not approve because he is american, and not an arab. He is a convert and a fully practicing shia muslim., and a very decent guy, but they do not care. Are there any hadiths or anything to show my mother to help change her mind?
  19. The father is the reason of the existence of a child. It means without him, we did not even exist. So, it is not surprising that the father has some specific rights over children. According Islamic teachings, the overall strategy of children for parents should be based on being kind to them. In this regard the holy Quran has said: “…And that ye be kind to parents.” [17:23] But the quality of doing good to parents should be searched in the traditions of Prophet and his learned progeny. The seventh Imam of the Muslims Imam Kazim said: “A man asked the Noble Prophet about the right of a father incumbent upon his child. The Prophet replied: "He should not call his father by his name, and he should not walk ahead of him, He should not sit down before he does, and should not do things to cause his father to be blamed or sworn at." (Usul al-Kafi, v.2, p.158)
  20. Salam I am in the taqleed of Ayatullah Sayeed Al-Hakim and he allows Mutah with a virgin girl without the permission of the father(provided that they dont have sexual intercourse). According to him all other acts of physical love are allowed as long as you don't have intercourse. I am 22 and did mutah with a shia girl whom I plan to marry in the future. She is in the taqleed of Ayatullah Sistani who doesnt allow mutah without fathers permission. Please note it is impossible to get her fathers permission or even ask him as he is very strict and would end up forcing her to marry someone else if he was asked for permission. I read on this forum that the mutah is allowed since one of the wedding partner's marja allows it. I have been involved in physical relation with her since we entered the mutah contract, however, we haven't had intercourse. For some reason, I have started pondering and I am having doubts again about the validity of my mutah contract. If someone could provide a reliable source which could justify the validity of my mutah would make me peaceful again. I am posting here in the hope that I would get an answer sooner rather than later. It is very difficult to reach my Marja since I live in Pakistan and the only way I can contact his office is through email. It takes them 3-4 months to reply. Request: I have recently graduated and I am looking for a job. Please pray that I get a decent job soon InshaAllah so that I can send a marriage proposal and get into a permanent marriage contract with her as soon as possible. Her father is very strict so I really need other momineens prayers. I will be waiting for your response. Please help. JazakAllah
  21. I recently entered a university and I wanted to attend its functions I have previously attended school and college functions and I have always studied in co-education.I belong to a practicing shia family which is why hijab has always been a big part in my life.at all functions and events i have never taken off my hijab neither do I ever intend to do so but my mother has become so insecure ever since i entered university(even though I have never done anything wrong or immoral).She tells me to take a chaddar to the function and wants me to not go if possible.I am always over conscious of over doing thus even if I do get all dressed up I never stand out because you know how girls are now a days being over dressed and flashy but my mom is getting angry and keeps telling me that I don't listen to her anymore and I don't follow hijab and my body shape is showing she expects me to wrap a blanket around me and then go out. The university I am in is known for it's really out of limits rules and discipline but since it is the only well known art college in Pakistan I could not miss the opportunity but I am really getting tired of my mom's insecurity and over the top demands that I am unable to fulfill considering the surrounding that I am living in.I realize that she might be right in an Islamic point of view but that makes me hate Islam in a certain way I also want to enjoy my university life and have fun like everyone else but the way my mom is imposing hijab onto me is just pushing me further away from Islam and making me feel trapped and bound. "Islam is suffocating" says the heart as I try reasoning with it day and night trying to have fun and still not cross the islamic limits.... :/
  22. Assalaam alaikum..I'm married with three grown up kids. My parents are old but Mashallah self reliant and still quite independent but slowly it is reducing. My kids are great n a great effort could be attributed to my wife for that. But I'm not happy with her on many accounts. The main reason and the one that hurts me most is her attitude towards my parents. She doesn't sit with them or talk to them and lately I have observed that she doesn't even say salaam to them either. I know they are not her parents but they are my parents & if I respect n care for her father who is also residing with us, I feel a hatred for her that's difficult to suppress or hide. Is my patience unjustified?are my expectations unfair?
  23. Salam Alaikum Everyone, Okay sooooo I know it is our islamic duty to respect our parents at all times, in all situations etc. but, but. My mother is an emotionally/verbally abusive person who has anger management issues. I know I sound like a whiny child but every since I was very young she treated me as if I had the mental capacity to understand certain issues that a child doesn't at that age. This could be related to the fact that she was single and probably craving adult understanding. She is extremely explosive and never admits to making any sort of mistake. She blames me constantly for her mistakes and when I defend myself, tells me that I am being disgustingly rude and ungrateful. I appreciate everything she has done for me (raised me as a single mother while juggling a full time career) but the way she treats me contributed to so many mental health problems that she again, became angry with me for. All this changed slightly when she remarried another man but anyway, How much do I have to respect her? and am I obliged to respect her husband as a "father"?
  24. Asalam u Alikum I don't know where to start but i just want some sort of advice from you guys.I'm 19 years old living with my mom and dadand a brother and another one is in homecountry (doing studies). Well lets start from beginning since i rememberMy parents always fight on small issues (such as *why this pillow is here* *Why didn't you closed the door* etc etc) i think there wouldn't be a day that my parent didn't fought .We tried very hard to stop them. Me and my siblings always give advice to them.But theydidn't listen to us and sometimes my Mom turns topic towards us (Who you think you're? you have no rights to talk between us...... plus abusing , Putting Tuhmat on us) ..(Sometimes i just want to run away) I think our Neighbors will get very irritated because of my parents.This is not normal for anyone i think because of this me and brothers have some sort of OCD disorder (Checking doors twice before leaving house etc etc) Involving others in this issue such as (relatives) i think they will make it worse i really don't know what to do but it's causing us a lot of problems. I'm also worried if my brothers get married their wives will face major problem and my brothers will be stuck between wife and Parents. I hope you guys will help me to solve this problem Jazak Allah
  25. Salam. My parents are forcing me to become a doctor. I don't want to be a doctor. My average GPA in High School is 4.07 (it's over a 4.0 because I took 3 Advanced Placement classes). I am in 11th grade and have completed Calculus I. I always get A's, and I'm overall a smart kid in terms of academics. I am a hard working person. But here's the deal: After over a year of researching careers, jobs, etc I have found that success lies in business and entrepreneurship. I understand there is uncertainty and risk involved, but business has been very strongly recommended in Islam and Hadith by Ahlulbayt. There is barakat and unlimited potential in business. Starting our own businesses is the way to go, both for individual freedom and for the benefit of the Muslim Ummah as a whole. Us Muslims should start creating new companies instead of working for the Jews. We should be the ones owning the companies and influencing the world. Here are some hadiths about business and Ahlulbayt's recommendation to start your own business: Prophet Muhammad Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå: “If blessings were divided into ten parts, nine would be found lying in trade.” [bihar Al-Anwar, V. 23, P. 5] Prophet Muhammad Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå: “Rizq is ten parts, nine of which are in trade.” [Al-Kafi, V. 5, P. 318] Ammar al-Sabati narrated, ‘I asked Aba-Abdillah (as) about a man who trades but can make the same money by working for someone else. He replied, ‘He shouldn’t work for someone else. Rather, he must seek God’s bounty by trading, for by working for someone else, he restricts God’s bounty for him.’” [Al-Kafi, V. 5, P. 90, No. 3] Imam Ali (as): “Undertake yourselves to trading, for in it lies your independence from what others possess, and verily God, Mighty and Exalted, loves the trustworthy servant who is engaged in a business.” [Al-Khisal, P. 621, No. 10] Imam Sajjad (as): “Investing money perfects courage.” [Al-Kafi, V. 1, P. 20, No. 12] I showed my parents these hadiths. I told them how us Muslims should've been the ones creating companies like Facebook, Exxon, Apple, Microsoft, Acer, and Google. Despite all this, they told me I must become a doctor because "it's the only way to make money, and if you choose ANYTHING else, it means you're trying to take a shortcut and are a loser." But I'm not trying to take a shortcut, my grades and everything show I'm a smart person. I don't want to go to medical school and spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and 8 years of my precious youth studying to become a doctor just for that "steady paycheck." I, with the aide of Allah, want to be the one giving the paychecks instead of receiving them. My youth should be spent traveling the world and starting new businesses instead of sitting in classrooms and taking tests to work for hospitals owned by non-Muslims. It's time we look at what the Ahlulbayt have told us instead of continuing to follow tradition. According to Khamenei, it is not obligatory to obey your parents but it is Haram to make them sad or worried. It should be noted that my parents are very helpful and care about me a lot. They sincerely want to help me succeed in life, but they aren't convinced that it will be to my benefit if I go into entrepreneurship and business (I think mainly because they are scared and because it's against the culture/tradition). Or should I simply obey my parents and live my whole life in a career I don't believe in? Should I disobey and choose my career? Any answers would be appreciated (I also would like to hear stories of people who did disobey in terms of their career choice, and I want to know what ended up happening). My personality and abilities and desire is leaning towards business. What should I do?
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