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Salaams All; I don’t know the password for the sisters forum hence posting on here. I am wanting to wear the hijab / headscarf again. For years I wore it and practiced it appropriately. About 8 years ago I went through some difficult times and chose to remove it. I have since become a mum and feel like it’s now or never. Something however isn’t aligning (head, heart, gut). I feel like I’ll be a fake if I do wear it because I don’t see myself as a good enough human being (does that make sense)? I am constantly judging myself, pray first, do all the wajibats appropriately and then wear it. Again I then think, this is just an excuse… so something isn’t right and I’m having difficulty putting my finger on it. The harder I’m trying to convince myself the more difficult it is for me to wear it. Im not really the sort to be bothered about how society will perceive me. I also do not wear tight / inappropriate clothing (just don’t like that sort of thing) so literally it really is just about covering my hair. I feel that personally it’s down to me thinking “will I be able to maintain it”? what does maintaining it look like? Will I be a fake if I wear it and say for example not pray? Shouldn’t I be fulfilling other wajibats first? I’m so confused. Has anyone else been through something similar? What was your struggle? What made you wear it? What about summer when it’s so hot? Was it hard to maintain? Please don’t judge me- I’m genuinely seeking some loving, kind advice. Thank you
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I hope the person reading this is well, Insha'Allah. After getting into bad company and facing subsequent losses, I thought about one thing. Many people often quote the Hadith where the Mercy for All Worlds (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) says that Heaven is at the feet of mothers. Surely, this also means that if person A harms person B, such that person B's mother is hurt, even so far that person B's mother cries, especially if Person B is a victim of your Zulm, then despite Person A being good with their mother, Person A has done Zulm on Person B's mother. Due to obvious motherly love, Person B's mother will complain to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) about Person A's actions. As such, is it logical to think that Person A is set for an appropriate retribution through the 'Adalat of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)? The Hadith seems to imply that treatment to one's mother is a big determinant towards one's position in the Hereafter, and judging by thge wording, I find that it not only talks about one's own mother, but other mothers as well. Surely, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) delivers 'Adl for the Mazloom, so with this logic, is it justified to think that Person A's Hereafter is not a Heavenly one? I found this to be an interesting topic, but since I am so unlearned, I thought I would ask the much more learned people at ShiaChat. JazakAllah
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Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu Who else is religiously-inclined, but has been born into a less-than-religious family? Those of us who have been face a unique set of challenges which our brothers and sisters blessed with virtuous families do not. At the same time, our experiences differ from, but can certainly find inspiration in, those of reverts. InshaAllah we will all pass such Divine tests with patience and wisdom. Does anyone, at any stage of life, currently have a similar experience? Inshallah we can all benefit from knowing the experiences of brothers and sisters who were born in less-than-religious families. Wa salam
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my mother is from Shia family and my father was sunny( passed away 3 years ago). now some of my mother's friends from her sec talk to her for her second marriage. and I heard some things about contract marriage in Shia sect. and I am not in favour of that my mother do that kind of marriage. I want to know that is there any kind of marriage allowed in Shia sect.??
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Hi all, I posted on this site when I was pregnant with my son last year for advice. I fell pregnant to a Shia Muslim man and he decided he wanted nothing to do with me or his son because of his family circumstances (hes not married). His reasons for not wanting to see his son are because he did not want a child and his family would disown him if they found out. He also stated he did not want to be with me (after a 3 year relationship) which was all one sided and kept secret from his family. I posted on this site asking advice on whether to tell his parents or not. I decided not to tell his parents as I did not want him to be left without a home. I tried everything in my power to have him in my sons life. However, his decision was final. I accepted the fact that he did not want anything to do with us. He helps finanically and I appreciate this more than anyone will ever know. I finally reached out to his sister when my son was 7 weeks old. To my surprise she wanted to see us both and have a relationship with my son. She confirmed that his mother and father (father more so) would not allow their son back into their lives if they found out about me and my son. I finally told my sons father that I reached out to his sister and he is fine with that. However, he still does not want anything to do with my son. Sorry for the long post! I thought I would just give a little background information about my situation. I have thought about converting to Islam for a long time now. I have family who are Muslim who I do not have a relationship with due to personal family reasons and have always wondered about what my life would be like if I did see them and I was brought up in Islam. I would like to know more about Shia Islam and read books before I make my decision. So I guess I am looking for books, websites and any one in my area - London, who could kindly help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated Thank you
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First of all, my dad is what in our society (im from islamabad, pakistan) we'd call "religious". He prays five times a day, fasts, gives zakat, knows widely about the religion, and makes sure we know all of that. The part where he strays is that he believes my mom likes to show herself off, and likes the attention of other men. She can't do something as simple as taking a shower and going to work (teaching grade 1 students) the next day, without my dad thinking she's trying impress someone My mom has sacrificed her life for us, compromised for us (im the eldest daughter (17) , and i have three younger brothers (12,9,8)), because four years after the marriage he started showing his true colours. Btw, this was an arranged marriage, so none of that "maybe he feels like she'll love someone else". He's just an insecure man, with anger issues, who has never blamed himself for anything or openly apologised for the big arguments HE causes (not in the time ive been alive and been able to understand), thinks he knows best and there is no one better than him, doesn't have ANY real friends, and the one he does have, he constantlysays [Edited Out] about him to my mom, and then goes and places his world to the feet of this friend (btw this friend isnt alll that amazing either, but least he isnt a [Edited Out] bag like my dad( believe me i know)). when i was younger he used to physically abuse and hurt my mom, and he used to hit me too. he even went to saying that I also have a boyfriend when all i did was go upstairs to get a book (apparently there was some guy at the balcony opposite to our house, and i was " trying to communicate with him". i didnt take this lightly and raised voice and finger and started hitting me and dragged me down the stairs, and just like my nine year old self, i wanted to die and just kept repeating ' should have jusy killed me you ass' (this was two years ago). we had video camerasn around the house so mom opened them up, and showed i had done no such thing. he didnt apologise, he didnt even do anything to show remorse, instead justified everything from thefact that a raised my voise and held my finger up. a year ago, i was upset with him for another reason, and i told my mom. i told her to leave it that it was whatever, ill get over it. but she bought it up, and we got into an argument, and i do admit i shouldnt have misbehaved again (only verbally like raising my voice or rolling my eyes) but he got so aggressive and tried to slap me so i stopped him and threw his hand away,,, he went to the kitchen and got a knife , and all i could think agout was my mom cause she was trying to stop him and he kept saying "THIS IS WHY YOU SEE FATHERS KILLING THEIR DAUGHTERs ON THE NEWS" and "YOUVE TAAUGHT THEM NOTNHING YOUNSELFISH, USELESS, (swear word, more swear words, swearing at her family)". a couple a days ago, hes started fighting with her again even though its my international exams that make up my grade for my university. in the morning i woke up to my mom begging him to just stop cause he kept saying "i know what you do, i know your actions, i know your disgusting behaviour" (btw we know that this craziness is over once he just starts getting , ok? like it just dies down). as a child, id always step in, even get a few slaps if i had to to get in between him hurting her, but ive grown now and know my duties given to me by Allah, about respecting my parents, and getting in between ( my mom also keeps saying its just two more years, you'll be off to uni then and everything will be fine, and ' pls dont waste my sacrifices' everytime i want to interfere (hes threatened stopping me from studying several times). ever since i was small my dad has told me to aim for a scholarship because he knew more abput this stuff, but now i think, would he even let me leave the city let alone country to continue studies? hes rejected going to a psychologist, talking to anybody (he doesnt believe he has a problem, he thinks my moms the problem) about this, he says we make him angry and that before marriage he was never like this ( he has changed a lot in the sense that my mom and i can wear clothes like jeans but only with long shirts (my moms always worn a duppatta over her head (covers her hair)). cant get my dads side involved firstly, theyd love this. secondly, theyre all like this themselves. his sisters do burka andd all but theyre always free to go wherever whenever, meet whoever. they sometimes go ariund with this 'pir' (guy who does black magic) but if we point that out, all hell would brreak loose on us. (his sisters got married to two brothers, so same household). theyre background is from a not even respectable village, so i cant count on them. cant tell my moms side, they already have their own financial and family issues (my mom doesnt want us four to become a drama in our family, whatever that means cause like our house isnt already a drama). sometimes my mom gets so fed up, she says "MAY Allah TAKE ME SO YOU (my dad) CAN HAPPY AND MARRY ANOTHER WIFE" and now hes started saying " may he, so you burn in hell". he says all these other wives are so obedient and nice, but shes not. he says the money my mom brings in holds no value to him, even though she doesnt get to use it, he uses it all, our groceries and school fees are payed with it (oh and he hasnt had a job in years, sells plots and gets profit, but now none of that is working either so the 'no valued' monry shes been bringijng in since 6 years, is all that is coming into our house. hes in the world where Allah has made him the ' man' of this household, however he doesnt fulfill the duties and says my mom is the reason why there are no blessings in her house. he tells her to leaveher job, and says Allah will provide us with the money, that we'll be fine without hers (our fees are cut 75% short because of her, and we get house groceries, petrol for the car, and whatnot from her salary and our rent (which again is none of his own hardwork, our grandfather gave us this house)). i know this is very long, but please help me. ive thought about killing myself from the age of 7 to 14, i even used to self harm thinking if he saw me in the state hes put my mind in the pressure and the mistreatement (moms mistreatement is what gets to me, he doesnt do much to my brothers except for the middle one whom he thought wasnt his and rejected him emotionally for four years and now hes become habitual on scolding him the most, and my brother knows my dad rejects him the most but all he does is get upst over it). ive been so patient these pasts months, but ive had enough. this morning i walked in on them , half sleep, holding everything i could grab (like spray bottles, perfumes, my bloody mascara botle) to throw it at him because it seemed llike he was gonna get physical again. please help me, please please pplease
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My mom is visiting me currently in the us and is going back to the middle east in about a month and I probably won't see her for another year , i want to get her a gift that she'll like and I don't know what to get her. She's in her late 40's, what do you recommend i gift her?
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Salamoaleikum dear brothers and sisters. I am writing this in a quite difficult time as my mother i sick and in the hospital. I make duas every day, but I was just wondering if you hade any tips for duas that will give her shafaa inshallah. Is there any certain verse I should recite? Please do help me brothers and sisters
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okay so I really don't know how to start all of this... I am a 19 year old girl, started wearing a hijab when I turned 13 years old - Me, still super young, didn't have any idea what was happening, somehow got forced into wearing it because everyone scared me. or let me just say, there was no other option. Turning 15, I told my parents that I didn't want to wear it anymore. They got extremely mad, my mom cried her heart out, it was like seeing them have a mental breakdown. I got really scared so I kept wearing it. Turning 18 and starting uni, which also made me live in a different country, I decided to just tell them that I'm taking it off and did it. The problem here is, that I can't bear seeing my mom cry... And I can't talk to her either about this topic.. Born and raised in Europe, which zero arabic friends, makes it way too hard for me to actually wer hijab with everyone around you judging and treating in such a different way... She just doesn't get it. I really don't know what to do in that kind of situation... I really don't want to force myself to do something I'm super uncomfortable with but I don't want to see my mom cry and know that she's sad. It just breaks my heart and makes me cry myself into sleep.. I'm really clueless.. I just found that forum because I can't talk to anyone about this. Does anyone maybe have an idea what I could do right now?.. Am I just "forced" to wear it? is there no other way out?
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please i Need ur prayers for my mother's health she diagnosed with breast cancer. stage 4 ..... may Allh give her long and HEALTHY life 'Ameen
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How do you console your friend who lost their mother? true islamically we say may Allah grant you sabr. what are other means of making a person feel better ?
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latmeya in memory death of sayeda fatima al zahraa - 1438 - Artist s.hani alwedaei - Bahrain
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There's no doubt a strong connection between a mother and her child exists, but there's more to that. They even share the same heartbeat rhythm. A few years ago, scientists discovered that babies and their mothers can synchronize their heartbeats just by looking at each other. The researchers explained their discovery in the following words, Mothers and their 3-month old infants were observed during face-to-face interactions while cardiac output was collected from mother and child. Micro-analysis of the partners' behavior marked episodes of gaze, affect, and vocal synchrony. Time-series analysis showed that mother and infant coordinate heart rhythms within lags of less than 1 s. Apart from that, a Japanese scientist discovered that playing the tape recording of a mother's heartbeat helps to put crying babies to sleep. The same occurs when a crying baby is held on the left side by the mother, enabling the baby to hear the heartbeat. This is exactly why fathers have a hard time soothing their babies while the mothers don't. So, don't worry fathers, your baby does love you, but your wife has magical powers (Not so magical now though) According to many psychologists, this experience is imprinted on the infant's mind, because of which, the repetitive sound never loses its ability to lower the stress levels for the rest of one's life. So, if you're stressed out, go and hug your mother.
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Most of the people cannot remember when they were born recently, but with regard to newborn babies, everyone understands that how weak they were in that time. In such circumstances, mother is that person who plays in role of a maid of honor and services it without any expectation. That is why the fourth Imam of Muslims -Imam Sajjad- has said: “[The right of your mother is that you should know that] she protected you with her hearing and sight, and her hands and legs, and her hair and skin and all her other organs. She was highly delighted to do so. She was happy and eager, enduring the harm and the pains, and the heaviness and the grief until the Mighty Hand expelled you out of her and delivered you out to the Earth.” (The Treatise on Rights)
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Salaam. I am the youngest of four girls, and there's an 11 year gap between me and my sisters - the oldest is in her early thirties and I'm in my early 20s. We all have a different relationship with our mother, but I think I have the most strained one. My mother is known to have anger management problems. She will snap and get mad at anything if she is in a bad mood, and she is a very rushed and anxious person. She even takes medication for this. She's like this with me and my sisters, but especially with me because I've been the only one at home for the past 5-10 years, as all of my sisters are married and have moved away. I hoped this time together would bring us closer (we weren't close before either,) but it hasn't. She takes out most of her frustration on me, and I take my frustrations out on her too. I have been in college the past few years and have been very very stressed. It gets worse when my mom acts harshly, which makes me more likely to take out my frustrations on her too. I feel that my mom doesn't know anything about me as a person, and she doesn't care to know either. When I try to sincerely talk to her, she brushes it off. And when I try to talk to her about the problems in our relationship, she gets mad at me for bringing it up and says that it'll ruin our relationship (I think not communicating will ruin our relationship more.) So our relationship is this: we don't talk much, she is a vey irritable person, I've become irritable too, she doesn't know much about me, and we don't communicate much even though we live under the same roof. I always compare our relationship to her relationship with my sisters, and her relationship with them is 100 times better. It makes me sad, but when I bring that up to her she gets very mad at me for making a comparison between myself and my sisters (though I think she's the one making the comparison in the first place.) Does anyone have advice on how to fix our relationship please? Thank you and Salaam.
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Salam Alaikum Everyone, Okay sooooo I know it is our islamic duty to respect our parents at all times, in all situations etc. but, but. My mother is an emotionally/verbally abusive person who has anger management issues. I know I sound like a whiny child but every since I was very young she treated me as if I had the mental capacity to understand certain issues that a child doesn't at that age. This could be related to the fact that she was single and probably craving adult understanding. She is extremely explosive and never admits to making any sort of mistake. She blames me constantly for her mistakes and when I defend myself, tells me that I am being disgustingly rude and ungrateful. I appreciate everything she has done for me (raised me as a single mother while juggling a full time career) but the way she treats me contributed to so many mental health problems that she again, became angry with me for. All this changed slightly when she remarried another man but anyway, How much do I have to respect her? and am I obliged to respect her husband as a "father"?
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Hello, My name is Aman. I am born to two of the MOST RELIGIOUS families of Karachi, Pakistan. I am the great grandson of SHAH ABDUL LATIF BHITTAI (Mother's Side), and i am also the great grandson of MORSHA BAADSHAH - ROHRI (Father's Side). I am a complete believer and i have great Love for Mola Ali a.s. I respect every branch of Shia Islam. I am 15 and i am truly fed up of my house. I have two sisters and both my parents and i live in a joint family. i am really weak in studies though i was a contant topper in Dubai but since i shifted back to pakistan, it has been really difficult for me to cope in studies. i get taunted everyday by my parents upon my poor results and they scold and beat me every single time. i also misbehave sometimes to be honest but i regret it asap. i feel like running away but it is quite unsafe here in pakistan. can i have a valid solution to this ridiculous family issue !
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Did you ever watch sun rising in the morning? Did you ever see in the night, moon glowing? Did you eve see the milky clouds floating? Did you ever see the beautiful river flowing? If you saw these scenes, then you would understand, the greatness of mother’s place, which is grand, Her Place is on sky levels and not on any sand, So do not underestimate even for a moment, friend, Book from Amazon.com “Outspoken” Collection of Poems By Syed Imon Rizvi
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Salam So here's the hypothetical scenario: You have a mother who hates shias to the point she wants all of them destroyed and one day she decides when you go to check on her she pulls a gun out and wants to kill you and you have a gun what do you do?
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I wanted to start a discussion regarding the mother of the believers Aisha. Is she still the mother of the believers after reading this?? According to the Shiaa the prophet (saww) left the authority to divorce his wives to Imaam Alee (as) and Imaam Alee (as) did divorce Aisha (la) The narrations that I will be posting are Saheeh (Authentic) and here is what Allama Majlisi (RA) says about them: Bihar al-Anwar, by Allama Majlisi, vol. 22, p. 495 "This was the end of what we have taken out from the book Al-Turaf, which it has taken out from the book Al-Wasiya, by 'Isa bin al-Mustafadh, and the book Khasa'es al-A'imma, by Sayed al-Razi (ra), and most of it is narrated in the book Al-Sirat al-Mustaqeem, by Sheikh Zaynul-Deen al-Bayyadhi. And 'Isa and his book are mentioned in the books of Rijal, and I have distinguished chains of narrators from them. And after the esteem of Al-Kulayni (ra) and the two Sayed's reliance on it, there is no meaning in declaring any of them as weak, in addition to that the pronounciation of the narrations and their meanings bear witness to their authenticity." So now lets begin: First narration: The prophet (saww) giving Imaam Alee (as) the authority to divorce his wives: Al-Ghayba, by Al-Tusi, p. 150 "O Ali, you are my successor upon my family, the living ones as well as the dead ones, and upon my women. So the one of them whom you bind (bind to the Prophet's marriage to them) shall meet me tomorrow (on the Day of Judgment); and the one of them whom you divorce (divorce from the Prophet's marriage to them), I am innocent from her. She will not see me, neither will I see her on the Day of Resurrection. And you are my successor upon my nation after me." Second narration: Imaam Alee's (as) promise to divorce Aisha: Sharh' al-Akhbar, by Abu-Hanifa al-Nu'man al-Maghribi, vol. 1, p. 211. Ali sent (someone of his servants) to Aisha, after the end of the cause of Jamal, when she was in Basra, to say: "Return to your house", and she denied. Then he sent to her a second time, and she denied. Then he sent to her a third time: "You shall return, otherwise I shall say a word in which Allah and His Messenger shall dissociate themselves from you!" Then she said: "Get me away! Get me away!" Then a woman, who was with her, said to her: "O mother of the believers, what did scare you with Ali's commitment over you?" She said: "The Prophet made him his successor upon his family and left the divorcement of his women in his hand." Third Narration: Imaam Alee divorcing Aisha: Al-Ihjtijaj, by Al-Tabarsi, vol. 1, p. 24 "Imam al-Baqir (as) said: When the Day of Jamal took place and Aisha's howdah had been hit by arrows, the Commander of the Faithful (as) said: "By Allah, I do not see anything else than divorcing her! So I call, to Allah, after a man who heard the Messenger of Allah (saw) say: 'O Ali, the issue of my women is in your hand after me' when he stood and bore witness over this!" He (Al-Baqir) said: Then 13 men stood up, among them were two Badri's, and they bore witness to that they heard the Messenger of Allah (saw) say to Ali bin Abi-Talib (as): "O Ali, the issue of my women is in your hand after me!" He (Al-Baqir) said: Then Aisha cried until they heard hear cry. Then Ali (as) said: "The Messenger of Allah (saw) said to me: 'Allah shall support you, O Ali, on the Day of Jamal with 5000 angels."
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Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh... I am begging you brothers and sisters please recite duas for my mother she very sick and I fear for her K am begging you please!!! Salam
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Salam, A tribute to all mothers... http://www.islamicinsights.com/features/poetry/discourse-between-mother-and-child.html Kind regards!
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